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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Rome on January 07, 2010, 05:42:16 AM

Title: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Rome on January 07, 2010, 05:42:16 AM
Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. "We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."


Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/stern_sidekick_in_suicide_try_5m9Hwhn1OvpONlzbsiW3oJ?offset=8#comments#ixzz0bvw77sSy

This is really sad.
For me, Artie has been the bright spot of the show for the last several years.
His characters and one liners are my favorite parts of the show. (His "guy that laughs at everything" character had me in tears) When he was off last week I thought he was just goofing off and not coming to work again.
Had no idea that it was anything this serious! Hopefully he'll take the time off that he needs and gets better.
****On a selfish note, PLEASE don't bring Martling back! F Jackie
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Stark on January 07, 2010, 05:53:14 AM
Lol I love him in this interview - give it half way into it gets better :D

Lol I love it how he says at the end  - the soldiers over there in Afghanistan they think I know you.... Conan: You do know me, you ahve been on this show 50 - 60 times?
Artie: When have we been out together :D

Like put all the fake: We are friends - right upfront

Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: saopl on January 07, 2010, 06:25:55 AM
wtf..

there are so many "better" choices when it comes to attempting to kill yourself, why stab yourself?

douchebag.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: affy on January 07, 2010, 06:26:54 AM
Another case of the sad clown

I expect Patton Oswald to off himself within the next decade also. You can only laugh at yourself so much until you hit a breaking point.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: spinnis on January 07, 2010, 06:31:59 AM
pretty innovative stabbing himself at least instead of taking the easy overdose way out lol
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: fathead on January 07, 2010, 06:37:11 AM
waaaaaaaaaaaah i stabbed myself 9 times waaaaaaaaaaah
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: saopl on January 07, 2010, 06:38:00 AM
Another case of the sad clown

I expect Patton Oswald to off himself within the next decade also. You can only laugh at yourself so much until you hit a breaking point.

he's always had underlining fucked up problems too.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: spinnis on January 07, 2010, 06:40:15 AM
I like artie, brutal Honesty comedy is great.

there are a Shirload of celebs out there just like artie, but hes the only honest one,
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: johnnynoname on January 07, 2010, 06:47:13 AM
waaaaaaaaaaaah i stabbed myself 9 times waaaaaaaaaaah

(http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx286/jsj1978/89t5b80.gif)
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: johnnynoname on January 07, 2010, 06:52:24 AM
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: johnnynoname on January 07, 2010, 06:54:10 AM
(http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx286/jsj1978/2v2tysp.gif)(http://i764.photobucket.com/albums/xx286/jsj1978/ArtieDePants.gif)
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Bodybuilding Related on January 07, 2010, 07:03:14 AM
I've heard alot of people theorize that he's a closet gay as evidenced by his homophobia and that one hot girlfriend he had said he barely had sex with her?  You guys got any theories on this?  I'm not a regular listener but I've heard my share of Stern...  
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: spinnis on January 07, 2010, 07:04:34 AM
I've heard alot of people theorize that he's a closet gay as evidenced by his homophobia and that one hot girlfriend he had said he barely had sex with her?  You guys got any theory on that?  I'm not a regular listener but I've heard my share of Stern...  

or maby he didn't want to have sex because he was depressed, drunk, fat, stuck on coke + 10 rec drugs..
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: johnnynoname on January 07, 2010, 07:06:35 AM
I've heard alot of people theorize that he's a closet gay as evidenced by his homophobia and that one hot girlfriend he had said he barely had sex with her?  You guys got any theory on that?  I'm not a regular listener but I've heard my share of Stern...   

it's really just a theory

alot of people say that he is a "self hating homo" hence the use of the "f-word" in his act
then again he (more than likely) is just a typical New Jersey homophobe
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Bodybuilding Related on January 07, 2010, 07:08:33 AM
it's really just a theory

alot of people say that he is a "self hating homo" hence the use of the "f-word" in his act
then again he (more than likely) is just a typical New Jersey homophobe

Yeah well it sure comes up alot with him. 
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: affy on January 07, 2010, 07:09:52 AM
here he is making the famous falcon face

(http://artiefan.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/artie_tomn.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Heywood on January 07, 2010, 07:10:17 AM
Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. "We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."


Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/stern_sidekick_in_suicide_try_5m9Hwhn1OvpONlzbsiW3oJ?offset=8#comments#ixzz0bvw77sSy

This is really sad.
For me, Artie has been the bright spot of the show for the last several years.
His characters and one liners are my favorite parts of the show. (His "guy that laughs at everything" character had me in tears) When he was off last week I thought he was just goofing off and not coming to work again.
Had no idea that it was anything this serious! Hopefully he'll take the time off that he needs and gets better.
****On a selfish note, PLEASE don't bring Martling back! F Jackie

Needs to take time off to get better?

He has enough money.  He needs to quit the show permanently.  It's not working out for him healthwise.  I like Howard but he's too fn' difficult to work for.  Artie needs to get away while he can.


Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: fathead on January 07, 2010, 07:15:07 AM
Needs to take time off to get better?

He has enough money.  He needs to quit the show permanently.  It's not working out for him healthwise.  I like Howard but he's too fn' difficult to work for.  Artie needs to get away while he can.




When did Jackie start posting on here? 
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: johnnynoname on January 07, 2010, 07:15:32 AM
while i am a "jackie guy" and, while, artie is a bit "hacky", I still LOVE the guy on the show
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Bodybuilding Related on January 07, 2010, 11:30:34 AM
 :D

Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: no one on January 07, 2010, 11:56:12 AM

the guy is a derelict. period. i don't feel sorry for him.

if he wanted to end his life he could have done so easily. it isn't rocket science. there are multiple ways to go that ensure there is no coming back.

all this was was yet another cry for attention.

Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Charfman84 on January 07, 2010, 12:25:01 PM
(http://www.boardfromhell.com/imagehost/images/829_artiestab.gif)
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Palpatine Q on January 07, 2010, 12:34:35 PM
the guy is a derelict. period. i don't feel sorry for him.

if he wanted to end his life he could have done so easily. it isn't rocket science. there are multiple ways to go that ensure there is no coming back.

all this was was yet another cry for attention.



I like Artie but that's on the money.

If he REALLY wanted to kill himself he'd be a dead motherfukker right now
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Tre on January 07, 2010, 12:41:36 PM
Please tell me this media tool doesn't have any kids.  I would hate for that DNA to be out on the loose. 
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Parker on January 07, 2010, 12:42:28 PM
it's really just a theory

alot of people say that he is a "self hating homo" hence the use of the "f-word" in his act
then again he (more than likely) is just a typical New Jersey homophobe
The problem is that he Howard Stern Show attracts the misfits, rejects, ugly people, and self haters of society. No matter how funny, many inside feel pathetic. Wonder why Beetle Juice, that drunk midget, and all the other characters, plus Howard get along so well? Loom at them, observe them. They are the antithesis to the popular prettyboy playboy. They are a perverse version of the Nerds in Revenge of The Nerds, except they only win amongst themselves.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: njflex on January 07, 2010, 12:50:38 PM
Please tell me this media tool doesn't have any kids.  I would hate for that DNA to be out on the loose. 
NO

Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Rome on January 07, 2010, 05:15:41 PM
he's always had underlining fucked up problems too.
Artie has always blamed himself for his father falling off a ladder, being paralyzed and later dieing when he was supposed to be there helping him  :-\
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: JimmyJam1974 on January 07, 2010, 05:20:15 PM
waaaaaaaaaaaah i stabbed myself 9 times waaaaaaaaaaah
Good one.. "Waahhhhh - nine stabs...waaaahhhhhh:
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Special Ed on January 07, 2010, 05:50:28 PM
Check out Artie absolutely DEMOLISHING Joe Buck's premiere on HBO (sorry, no Youtube clips available)

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9lo8l_bobsblitzcom-provides-artie-lange-o_shortfilms (http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x9lo8l_bobsblitzcom-provides-artie-lange-o_shortfilms)
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: JOHN MATRIX on January 07, 2010, 06:23:35 PM
he was awesome in Dirty Work.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: outby43 on January 07, 2010, 06:32:29 PM
he was awesome in Dirty Work.

and a legend in Beer League.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: JimmyJam1974 on January 07, 2010, 06:38:08 PM
and a legend in Beer League.
A classic
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: disturbia on January 07, 2010, 06:41:20 PM
(http://www.boardfromhell.com/imagehost/images/829_artiestab.gif)


lol thats gold
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: ripitupbaby on January 07, 2010, 06:49:17 PM
waaaaaaaaaaaah i stabbed myself 9 times waaaaaaaaaaah


 ;D

Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Aaron Singerman on January 07, 2010, 07:57:09 PM
Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. "We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."


Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/stern_sidekick_in_suicide_try_5m9Hwhn1OvpONlzbsiW3oJ?offset=8#comments#ixzz0bvw77sSy

This is really sad.
For me, Artie has been the bright spot of the show for the last several years.
His characters and one liners are my favorite parts of the show. (His "guy that laughs at everything" character had me in tears) When he was off last week I thought he was just goofing off and not coming to work again.
Had no idea that it was anything this serious! Hopefully he'll take the time off that he needs and gets better.
****On a selfish note, PLEASE don't bring Martling back! F Jackie

Wow... I NEVER would have thought THIS is why he was in the hospital. Stabbed himself? Hesitation wounds? This is some serious shit. I mean who would stab them self to death?

I hope Artie get's his shit together. He's a funny talented guy. I'd be very surprised if Howard doesn't at least temporarily replace him.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: njflex on January 07, 2010, 08:03:20 PM
i love the stern show,artie,but artie who loves the godfather movies should of took a page from godfather 2 frank pantangeli and due the wrists in the tub...
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: HTexan on January 07, 2010, 10:55:23 PM

WTF? 9 times? and no hit? Talk about torture. :-\
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Charfman84 on January 08, 2010, 06:37:25 AM
It was a disturbing scene.  Gravy was pouring everywhere.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: 240 is Back on January 08, 2010, 08:02:02 AM
sid rosenberg (of Imus fame) was on bubba the love sponge this AM talking about NFL playoffs from some miami affiliate.

Sid said he's the super bowl video and radio correspondant for Stern this year.

methinks he might slip into Artie's spot?
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: johnnynoname on January 08, 2010, 08:06:34 AM


methinks he might slip into Artie's spot?

hard to say at this point

it all depends if howard signs another contract (current one ends this year)

if he re-ups, then look for artie to come back (eventually) or another stand up (Jim Bruer has been heavily rumored)

if he doesn't re-up then maybe sid could be a viable option but i doubt it
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Mr Nobody on January 08, 2010, 08:12:46 AM
How is he now? maybe he can get a crazy nurse to slip something in his drink to finish the deal
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: dragonfist on January 08, 2010, 08:14:34 AM
He did it for the street cred.  Now he can say he was stabbed nine times.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: erokyrwrld on January 08, 2010, 08:35:20 AM
If they do replace Arties, I think Greg Fitzsimmons has the best chemistry with the rest of the staff.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: johnnynoname on January 08, 2010, 08:37:06 AM
If they do replace Arties, I think Greg Fitzsimmons has the best chemistry with the rest of the staff.

I agree but he live in LA and has a family ...and he is doing pretty well writing for other shows (i think he writes for "The Ellen Show")
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Aaron Singerman on January 08, 2010, 10:30:37 AM
If Artie gets replaced, I'm betting on Jim Bruer.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: The_Punisher on January 08, 2010, 10:44:31 AM
shit, that Loser couldn't even kill himself.....hahahahahahh ahah......epic failure at suicide
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Special Ed on January 08, 2010, 10:47:05 AM
If Artie gets replaced, I'm betting on Jim Bruer.
Goatboy FTW!
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: BIG_STI on January 08, 2010, 10:50:29 AM
I think his 5 inches of blubber stopped the knife going in to far
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: johnnynoname on January 08, 2010, 11:21:33 AM
If Artie gets replaced, I'm betting on Jim Bruer.

he's the leading candidate
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: benchmstr on January 08, 2010, 11:54:21 AM
fat bastard cant even kill himself right....what a failure..

bench
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Earl1972 on January 08, 2010, 11:59:17 AM
If they do replace Arties, I think Greg Fitzsimmons has the best chemistry with the rest of the staff.

fuck no i can't stand that little shit

i don't think artie is coming back, i say bring back jackie he already worked well on the show before :D

E
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Trapper_Slapper on January 08, 2010, 12:09:08 PM
He did it for the street cred.  Now he can say he was stabbed nine times.
Ha ha I was thinking the same thing.
Epic rapper trumping  ;D
(http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/images/2007/cardiello1a.jpg)
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Parker on January 08, 2010, 12:26:08 PM
Artiecis a bitch. He did this for attention, like a lot of people who fuck up their own suicide attempts. If he really wanted to kill himself, there would be no "hesitation" wounds. Just stab self in the heart or neck. Or slice your neck open. How can a guy make killing oneself so complicated, unless one doesn't really want to die.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: HTexan on January 08, 2010, 02:27:30 PM
Artiecis a bitch. He did this for attention, like a lot of people who fuck up their own suicide attempts. If he really wanted to kill himself, there would be no "hesitation" wounds. Just stab self in the heart or neck. Or slice your neck open. How can a #### make killing oneself so complicated, unless one doesn't really want to die.
choosing a knife as your suicide weapon, and not wanting it to hurt. ???
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: funk51 on January 08, 2010, 03:52:30 PM
Troubled comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times in an apparent suicide attempt, sources told The Post. Lange's frantic mom called 911 Saturday morning after she entered his Hoboken apartment and found the bloodied funnyman, a law-enforcement source said. Lange sustained six "hesitation wounds" and three deep plunges. A source close to Lange's management team confirmed that the Howard Stern sidekick stabbed himself, adding that his mother had come to visit him that day to drop off food. Surgeons managed to save Lange despite heavy bleeding. "We all have our demons," Stern said on-air this week, referring to Lange's past battles with addiction. "Artie has given this show tremendous moments of great comedy. He's a tremendous contributor. He is a good man. Don't forget how great he is."


Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/pagesix/stern_sidekick_in_suicide_try_5m9Hwhn1OvpONlzbsiW3oJ?offset=8#comments#ixzz0bvw77sSy

This is really sad.
For me, Artie has been the bright spot of the show for the last several years.
His characters and one liners are my favorite parts of the show. (His "guy that laughs at everything" character had me in tears) When he was off last week I thought he was just goofing off and not coming to work again.
Had no idea that it was anything this serious! Hopefully he'll take the time off that he needs and gets better.
****On a selfish note, PLEASE don't bring Martling back! F Jackie
            poor artie he failed at something else, next time use a gun.
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: MP on January 08, 2010, 04:00:03 PM
Long, yet very candid audio interview with him here:

http://www.nypost.com/p/entertainment/artie_chilling_words_pre_suicide_imjojoD7kQ0BSP5DhezSRK
Title: Re: Comic Artie Lange landed in the hospital after stabbing himself nine times
Post by: Tapeworm on January 09, 2010, 12:05:05 AM
I don't get it.