What Does it Mean When Someone Says... "Let's Not Go Too Fast?"

[Deedee]

Question posed last night by a friend of the Man's. Good looking, so there's no issue there. He's been hanging with a girl from work, going to the gym together sometimes, having beers after work, etc... seeing a lot of each other. He finally just asked her if she wanted to start seeing him romantically and that's what she said.  He thinks she's just not ready to have a sexual relationship... I say, she's just not that into him.    He says she's just really independent, and thinks he screwed it up by trying to make it official... that he should have just kissed her or something and let it go from there.  I still say, she's just not that into him.    Even if she didn't want to be exclusive... which anyone can relate to... if she was interested she would have given him a sign other than some old cliche. 

[diamond]

I think I have only ever said on one or two occassions, and its usually if the other person is extremely pushy..

[Migs]

I think she isn't into him either.  Perhaps he missed the opportunity and shifted into friend mode.  Or Pehaps she doesn't feel like thy click on that level.

[Parker]

I think she isn't into him either.  Perhaps he missed the opportunity and shifted into friend mode.  Or Pehaps she doesn't feel like thy click on that level.

I think this is true as well. On the part that this has happened to me at work before. And I missed the opportunity. Now, this sitaution your're talking about, she is probably now just coasting on the friendship level, someone she can hang out with.

[freespirit]

She's not into him. He should move on and easily forget about her.

"Let's not go to fast" only means go faster, and leave the poor girl behind.

Never look back. Move on. 

[Deedee]

That's what I say... although Diamond is right.  Sometimes you have to push back the pushy.  I just don't think he falls into that category.  Think he waited too long and is now on the friend list. Funny how that happens but it does.

[babydoc]

In most cases, "Let's not go to fast" means "slow down!!!".........such as in the case of the guy who wants to move in together after you've been dating for a month.

In this case, though, I think she's just not that into him

[Parker]

Babydoc, are you Haitian?

[babydoc]

Babydoc, are you Haitian?

Nope!!!  Just a baby-faced ER doctor!!!  I'm a blue-eyed, All-American girl!

[Parker]

Nope!!!  Just a baby-faced ER doctor!!!  I'm a blue-eyed, All-American girl!

Ha, name reminds me of Baby Doc of Haiti

[babydoc]

"Babydoc" is what I was called all during my residency (........well, that, and 'Dr. Barbie'...or 'Dr. Victoria's Secret---although, calling me either of THOSE two names within my earshot might get you punched in the face...LOL!!).

It's what some older nurses call young docs---and it's NOT exactly a compliment....although I always thought it was pretty funny!!! 

[babydoc]

And Parker...........you didn't happen to go to college in Boston, did ya?  'Cuz if you did, we have some serious history!!!!!!!!!!  LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Deedee]

In most cases, "Let's not go to fast" means "slow down!!!".........such as in the case of the guy who wants to move in together after you've been dating for a month.

In this case, though, I think she's just not that into him

Yes, that's the other side of the coin. Lol. Sometimes you run into men who know what they want, when they want it, and that's just it! Full steam ahead. There's something nice about that in theory, but doesn't usually translate well into real life.  Who knows, maybe he presented it in that light, but he just doesn't seem like that. He's more the laid-back, always late, never know what's going on kinda guy.

PS I was a little reminded of the Haitian Papa Doc too, but now that you say who you are, makes perfect sense.  

[babydoc]

Yep, Dee Dee...I agree with you 100%.

Sounds like she's just not into him in your scenario.  Sounds like she doesn't wanna be more than friends.....but doesnt' wanna offend him...........but doesn't know a NICE way to tell him that.

[Parker]

'Dr. Victoria's Secret---although, calling me either of THOSE two names within my earshot might get you punched in the face...LOL!!).
 

Well if you are wearing Vickies, I can understand. Look at my sig. underneath my post.

And Parker...........you didn't happen to go to college in Boston, did ya?  'Cuz if you did, we have some serious history!!!!!!!!!!  LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Naw, I didn't. But, its all good. Lets not go too fast...

I think the speed of a relationship should either be determined by the woman or both. Many times us men get our signals crossed.  Its kinda like the "Yellow Light Effect". It used to be The Yellow Light meant, "slow down, this light is going to turn red". Nowadays a Yellow Light means to a lot of people, "Hurry up, and get thru, before the light turns red".

Which is it?

[24KT]

That all depends on whether there's a cop nearby or if the intersection has cameras or photo radar. 

[Parker]

That all depends on whether there's a cop nearby or if the intersection has cameras or photo radar. 

So I guess, "Slow Down"

[Deedee]

So I guess, "Slow Down"

It's more of a crap shoot I think.

[Playboy]

Question posed last night by a friend of the Man's. Good looking, so there's no issue there. He's been hanging with a girl from work, going to the gym together sometimes, having beers after work, etc... seeing a lot of each other. He finally just asked her if she wanted to start seeing him romantically and that's what she said.  He thinks she's just not ready to have a sexual relationship... I say, she's just not that into him.    He says she's just really independent, and thinks he screwed it up by trying to make it official... that he should have just kissed her or something and let it go from there.  I still say, she's just not that into him.    Even if she didn't want to be exclusive... which anyone can relate to... if she was interested she would have given him a sign other than some old cliche. 

Hi Deedee:)
Me peronally, I take the "moving to fast" quote as a person not knowing what they want. If the person really likes you then they will sure go with the flow be it a relationship or just plain jumping in the sac. 

PB

[leonp1981]

I'd say she's not interested, but I'd be wondering if she was already getting it somewhere else?

[AVBG]

It means that they are not wanting/willing to commit to an exclusive relationships (for the moment).

[Deedee]

Hi Deedee:)
Me peronally, I take the "moving to fast" quote as a person not knowing what they want. If the person really likes you then they will sure go with the flow be it a relationship or just plain jumping in the sac. 

PB

Hey you!  

That's how I would react too, but it's true that when someone's coming on way too strong in the relationship mode before you've had a chance to decide whether or not you can even imagine kissing them three months down the road, you tend to pull away a little. (I'm sure guys feel the same way).  This guy is like a pussycat though... just can't see him being overwhelming in any way.

It means that they are not wanting/willing to commit to an exclusive relationships (for the moment).

So maybe he should have just shut up and kissed her then? See where that went?

I'd say she's not interested, but I'd be wondering if she was already getting it somewhere else?

Lol, yeah, I guess there's that too! I think Playboy is right.  You can tell when someone is really into you, there's no difficulty in reading the signals.

[trab]

He wasting his time, shes not into him.

[AVBG]

So maybe he should have just shut up and kissed her then? See where that went?

why not...? Sometimes people put the cart before the horse without even realising what they really want.