For guys and gals. could or would you do this?

[Original Sin]

Don't blame religion for your inflexibility.

Isn't that what religion is really about?

[drkaje]

Isn't that what religion is really about?

Providing a moral excuse reason for inflexibility and intolerance?!

Stop being so jaded! 

[chaos]

I disagree and thats not the point here (whether the deceased cared or not) the point is two people undoubtedly started an emontional and intimate relationship with the spouse of a  so called best friend while that so called best friend was on his or her death bed. Additionally they are using Biblical principals to justify what they have done. I am having a hard time accepting this as normal behavior.

HM (in silent protest)

How do you know they started a relationship before he passed? How do you know they didn't find confort with each other after the fact and that led to now? 18 months is a long time and a relationship can go from friendship to romance alot quicker than 18 months.

I think you are out of line HM.

[CQ]

I highly doubt anyone who has been in the position who find it unacceptable. Unless someone best friend is an ass, they will tend to rally around and support the spouse. Friendship will grow, that is normal and also takes on a diifferent perspective anyway. Sometimes it may grow to more......hardly means it was preplanned. By that thought pattern - if a widow dates anyone after being widowed they preplanned that too.

I always find it interesting how people tend to look at what widows do far more, and make judgements.....but if some chick gets divorced or breaks up with her BF she can do whatever and no one comments

[Butterbean]

HM, were you good friends w/the man that died and maybe didn't have (even before he died) that great of an opinion of his widow's new husband?

[Playboy]

Your best friend is in a marriage, your best friend's husband/wife dies then 18 months later ask you to marry them. Would/could you do that?

This happened this past weekend.

My friend married his best friend's wife 18 months after his best friend's death. More info to come.

HM

Absolutely not. I would feel guilty and IMO it just wouldn't be the right thing to do.

[drkaje]

Is it really anyone else's business in the long run?

[Hustle Man]

How do you know they started a relationship before he passed? How do you know they didn't find confort with each other after the fact and that led to now? 18 months is a long time and a relationship can go from friendship to romance alot quicker than 18 months.

I think you are out of line HM.

I may be over stepping here but it's just my opinion but I have not said anything to either one.

Man this guy was over this couple's house day and night long before the hubby died. Also the hubby would go away (he was in the Navy) on 1-2 week detachments and Jim (my friend "Mr pick up the pieces) would spend alot of time over his buddy's house, even stay over night. I don't know what went on (if anything) while the hubby was away but the entire situation was wierd to me.  I will add this; before this guy died and while he was very sick (Cancer took him) Jim and Lisa were very touchy feely to the point of flirting and it raised eyebrows amongst many of our friends when we were at cook outs or friendly "get togethers" everyone noticed and commented on their peculiar behavior. Case and point: I recall during one weekend gathering the hubby was in in a wheelchair and standing right beside him was Jim and Lisa, Lisa infront of Jim, Jim's arms around Lisa and cheek to cheek and Jim was kissing on her neck from time to time.
If you witnessed the relationship you would be suspicious as well. Maybe hubby gave the go ahead and Jim vowed to take his place and care for his family after he was gone, don't know! At any rate something was brewing between Jim and Lisa before hubby's death. IMHO.

HM, were you good friends w/the man that died and maybe didn't have (even before he died) that great of an opinion of his widow's new husband?

I knew him well and also served with him in the Navy (Was in Desert Storm and Shield on the same Aircraft Carrier) but our mutual friend Jim who was not in the Navy was closer to him in friendship than I was.

Absolutely not. I would feel guilty and IMO it just wouldn't be the right thing to do.

This is my opinion as well it just does'nt seem right.

I think those that disagree would have to have been in the situation to understand how I feel here; it's just very peculiar to me. I commend Jim for helping out the widow of his best buddy but becoming attracted to her after his death and then marrying her, it's strange for me to see them together that way. I also think she (the widow) was looking for a quick fix to end her mourning...

HM

[Butterbean]

I may be over stepping here but it's just my opinion but I have not said anything to either one.

Man this guys was over this couple's house day and night long before the hubby died. Also the hubby would go away (he was in the Navy) on 1-2 week detachments and Jim (my friend "Mr pick up the pieces) would spend alot of time over his buddy's house, even stay over night. I don't know what went on (if anything) while the hubby was away but the entire situation was wierd to me.  I will add this; before this guy died and while he was very sick (Cancer took him) Jim and Lisa were very touchy feely to the point of flirting and it raised eyebrows amongst many of our friends when we were at cook outs or friendly "get togethers" everyone noticed and commented on their peculiar behavior. Case and point: I recall during one weekend gathering the hubby was in in a wheelchair and standing right beside him was Jim and Lisa, Lisa infront of Jim, Jim's arms around Lisa and cheek to cheek and Jim was kissing on her neck from time to time.

Well w/the addition of this information, no wonder you're not thrilled w/them right now 

[CQ]

Well w/the addition of this information, no wonder you're not thrilled w/them right now 

Exactly, that is a whole different story.

[Hustle Man]

Exactly, that is a whole different story.

Same story just more info as I promised. If you recall at the in of the original post I said "More to come". I put out the situation first to see what folk would do if in this same situation, the second part (more info) was to shed light on why I felt the way I was feeling as Stella pointed out.

HM

[chaos]

I may be over stepping here but it's just my opinion but I have not said anything to either one.

Man this guy was over this couple's house day and night long before the hubby died. Also the hubby would go away (he was in the Navy) on 1-2 week detachments and Jim (my friend "Mr pick up the pieces) would spend alot of time over his buddy's house, even stay over night. I don't know what went on (if anything) while the hubby was away but the entire situation was wierd to me.  I will add this; before this guy died and while he was very sick (Cancer took him) Jim and Lisa were very touchy feely to the point of flirting and it raised eyebrows amongst many of our friends when we were at cook outs or friendly "get togethers" everyone noticed and commented on their peculiar behavior. Case and point: I recall during one weekend gathering the hubby was in in a wheelchair and standing right beside him was Jim and Lisa, Lisa infront of Jim, Jim's arms around Lisa and cheek to cheek and Jim was kissing on her neck from time to time.
If you witnessed the relationship you would be suspicious as well. Maybe hubby gave the go ahead and Jim vowed to take his place and care for his family after he was gone, don't know! At any rate something was brewing between Jim and Lisa before hubby's death. IMHO.
 I knew him well and also served with him in the Navy (Was in Desert Storm and Shield on the same Aircraft Carrier) but our mutual friend Jim who was not in the Navy was closer to him in friendship than I was.
 This is my opinion as well it just does'nt seem right.

I think those that disagree would have to have been in the situation to understand how I feel here; it's just very peculiar to me. I commend Jim for helping out the widow of his best buddy but becoming attracted to her after his death and then marrying her, it's strange for me to see them together that way. I also think she (the widow) was looking for a quick fix to end her mourning...

HM

Oh dude, why didn't you spill these beans earlier?!?!?!

Someone needs an ass whoppin, you gonna do it?