The Push For Stay At Home Husbands?

[ProudVirgin69]

The problem is, it's about having IT ALL...no one has "IT ALL"...
In fact, that's a notion I believe that is borne from greed. To have all of something is to be greedy, gluttonous.
This notion that to have it all meaning one party must suffer or deny themselves so that the other can indulge their egos is something that I believe is part of the decline of America.

Parker I know you're not married nor do you have kids.  But let's say you're a plumber and your wife is a corporate attorney, and you guys have a couple kids.  So you would ask your wife to give up her lucrative career to stay home with the kids, just so you can keep working & making less money than she would?

If so, you would be the one indulging your ego.

Swallow your pride, think rationally and not emotionally, and act in the best interests of your family--whatever that might entail

[MORTALCOIL]

I am tired of my name anyway 

Yeah but you'd remember mine and be quick to tell the police I'm afraid.

[booty]

Yeah but you'd remember mine and be quick to tell the police I'm afraid.

I thought it was only a foot rub. You make it sound like you would hold me hostage or something really creepy

[Parker]

Parker I know you're not married nor do you have kids.  But let's say you're a plumber and your wife is a corporate attorney, and you guys have a couple kids.  So you would ask your wife to give up her lucrative career to stay home with the kids, just so you can keep working & making less money than she would?

If so, you would be the one indulging your ego.

Swallow your pride, think rationally and not emotionally, and act in the best interests of your family--whatever that might entail

where did get the fact that I would asked my wife to do that?
Both my parents worked. And I would never ask my wife to stop working to sooth my ego.
Did you not read what I wrote?
There is a big issue in Latin American communities in America where the man wants his woman to stay home and take care of the kids---no schooling, just keep popping kids out. This tends to be an issue from people's from Central America and some parts of Mexico. This is a control issue, and also is a pivotal piece in Domestic Violence issues...the man is controlling, and wants to control the money and the woman. Many of the women want to go to school and work. And I support that.

[MORTALCOIL]

I thought it was only a foot rub. You make it sound like you would hold me hostage or something really creepy

As I told you, I don't stop at the foot rubbing part (I don't only put my own foot in my mouth). I wouldn't hold you hostage 'cause i don't see a ransom coming. And as for the creepy part, well, one woman's creepiness is another man's heaven.

[kh300]

Men and woman serve different roles, it's that simple. Men protect and provide, woman are nurturer's and caretakers. You can't erase millions of years of biology and evolution in 50 years of feminism. Men are becoming such pussies. A stay home dad? Are you fucking kidding me?

[Kim Jong Bob]

here in sweden a dad can take out 240 days of work from the child is born to he/she is 6 or 7 years old to stay home and get paid for that and take care of the kid. you can take all at once i you want, the mother has the same. i think you get like 80% of what you earn at your job. do you have something similar to that in usa ?

[snx]

I'd do it, for sure.

The most important thing in my life is my children. I'd love to be the primary personality in their lives, raising them. But I'm a control freak.

It's not like I wouldn't work from home...I would. But it'd be some bullshit work-from-home-sort-of thing where I write and indulge meandering interests. I'd probably make $25K/year. But I'd coach all my kids teams, help them with their homework, teach them more stuff...I'd love it.

Also, would have lots of time for the gym. But I'd have to find a way to get my wife to pony up about $50/week for the cyp.

[Viking11]

Men and woman serve different roles, it's that simple. Men protect and provide, woman are nurturer's and caretakers. You can't erase millions of years of biology and evolution in 50 years of feminism. Men are becoming such pussies. A stay home dad? Are you fucking kidding me?

. I get this. But the "provider" thing is cultural. When we were hunter/gatherers, women did all the picking, gathering, etc. The men went out and hunted. Sometimes they scored prey, sometimes they didn't.  Then whatever the women had gathered was it for the day.

[Tapeworm]

Bunch of toejam eating freaks around here.

[MORTALCOIL]

Bunch of toejam eating freaks around here.

One of my best impersonations: Mary Magdelene.

[Natural Man]

It has nothing to do with feminization of society... in the past men were closer to their kids during their childhood and it was beneficial to everyone in the group, it's actually a luxury and only the richest have it. It helps raising more balanced offspring too as fathers are more present. Kids need spending as much time with either mom or dad to develop fully. In fact the perfect balance is probably mom and dad both working 20/25 hours a week each and spending the rest of their time with kids and involving themselves into their lives. The workaholic dad who never sees his kids isnt the best example to follow sorry. Most of the time they re also cheaters who in fact dont feel good in their families and flee it thru the excuse of work.
In the end both men and women need to spend a fair amount of time contributing to society and realizing themselves thru work to be completely fulfilled, happy, but it's the correct amount of time spent doing it that needs to be found.

[jwb]

It has nothing to do with feminization of society... in the past men were closer to their kids during their childhood and it was beneficial to everyone in the group, it's actually a luxury and only the richest have it. It helps raising more balanced offspring too as fathers are more present. Kids need spending as much time with either mom or dad to develop fully. In fact the perfect balance is probably mom and dad both working 20/25 hours a week each and spending the rest of their time with kids and involving themselves into their lives. The workaholic dad who never sees his kids isnt the best example to follow sorry. Most of the time they re also cheaters who in fact dont feel good in their families and flee it thru the excuse of work.
In the end both men and women need to spend a fair amount of time contributing to society and realizing themselves thru work to be completely fulfilled, happy, but it's the correct amount of time spent doing it that needs to be found.

Both parents working 20-25 hours a week? At walmart?

[240 is Back]

I did it... and it was a huge success.   I used grandparents for a little help each day so I could keep working.  But yeah, I haven't 'punched a timeclock' since early 2006.  I wear gym shorts most of the day.  When I put on a suit, it's to play acoustic guitar at the naples ritz carlton.  I've been doing web design (maybe 8-10 little mini work shifts each day) and the music thing too (guitar/bass).  

Did I lose some $ as a result of it?  Sure, of course.  But I've become a master of time mgmt.   My band(s) are always among the elite in town.  There are a lot of nights where I don't sleep as much as I should.  But when I see other kids in the neighborhood... raised by babysitters, latchkey kids, etc, I'm extremely grateful to be in the position I am.  before this, I was a teacher in traffic at 6:30 AM drinking coffee, eating mcbreakfast on the way to a huge parking lot, going to night classes... blah... Today I'm having fresh fruit for breakfast, relaxing watching Cowherd on ESPN2, working, planning a swim...

[viking1]

Stay at home dads can be on Getbig all day long!!!    Holding a vacuum pose as they vacuum 

[Natural Man]

Both parents working 20-25 hours a week? At walmart?

Rich people who employ their own family members in their businesses do it all the time. And they re not walmart employees. Low and middle social classes workers are forced to follow the 40 hours of work a week -for a  job in adequation with your education- or the 20/25 hours of work a week -for a stricly bread and butter work- schedule by those at the top of the pyramid, doesnt mean those at the top of the pyramid do the same. Because they CAN do it differently as they re at the top and everyone else is below them (and they give them their jobs). As simple as that. Doesnt mean it should be that way. Everyone wishes they could live the same way richest people do and it's common sense 20/25 hours a week of work is the right balance for most people especially if they have a family life.
Everyone will agree we should all do what we like as a living, change once in a while, and we should all work enough hours to feel content but not too many hours either. Well, one day it will be possible, but it's clearly not the norm nowadays and wont be for quite a while. Again there s a need for changes and they will come one way or another. In the future people will have their lives programmed before birth, will be able to change careers without endangering the society equilibrium because everything will be planned pre birth.

 Fact is there will be a need for a big change in how our western society works and it will probably happen after the next economic /societal / spiritual collapse, and maybe after wars. As usual the rest of the world will adjust by imitating the west and how it adapted.

[Natural Man]

I did it... and it was a huge success.   I used grandparents for a little help each day so I could keep working.  But yeah, I haven't 'punched a timeclock' since early 2006.  I wear gym shorts most of the day.  When I put on a suit, it's to play acoustic guitar at the naples ritz carlton.  I've been doing web design (maybe 8-10 little mini work shifts each day) and the music thing too (guitar/bass).  

Did I lose some $ as a result of it?  Sure, of course.  But I've become a master of time mgmt.   My band(s) are always among the elite in town.  There are a lot of nights where I don't sleep as much as I should.  But when I see other kids in the neighborhood... raised by babysitters, latchkey kids, etc, I'm extremely grateful to be in the position I am.  before this, I was a teacher in traffic at 6:30 AM drinking coffee, eating mcbreakfast on the way to a huge parking lot, going to night classes... blah... Today I'm having fresh fruit for breakfast, relaxing watching Cowherd on ESPN2, working, planning a swim...

how many hours a week does your wife work  tho?

[240 is Back]

how many hours a week does your wife work  tho?

40.  I work way more hours lol, no doubt about it.  I'm constantly at work.  it's just divided all day long.  Work 12 minutes on sites, clean this.  Work 6 minutes, take out trash.  Work 10 minutes, read a book, play.  Work 8 minutes, change guitar strings and clean out fridge.  Pretty much 14 hours of this daily. 

I'm probably suffering from ADHD, adult version, so it suits me well.  But I'm working at 9 am, and I'll be working at 1am tonight, just split up all day.  it's nice - I can go to the zoo on a tuesday at 10 am if I want, etc.  But it also means I never get days off, I haven't vacationed since honeymoon 8 years ago lol.  it gets easier as school arrives though.

[Natural Man]

40.  I work way more hours lol, no doubt about it.  I'm constantly at work.  it's just divided all day long.  Work 12 minutes on sites, clean this.  Work 6 minutes, take out trash.  Work 10 minutes, read a book, play.  Work 8 minutes, change guitar strings and clean out fridge.  Pretty much 14 hours of this daily.  

I'm probably suffering from ADHD, adult version, so it suits me well.  But I'm working at 9 am, and I'll be working at 1am tonight, just split up all day.  it's nice - I can go to the zoo on a tuesday at 10 am if I want, etc.  But it also means I never get days off, I haven't vacationed since honeymoon 8 years ago lol.  it gets easier as school arrives though.

so you re unemployed and sometimes build a website once in a month , get paid 300 bucks for it, while she works 40 hours a week cause she 's stronger than you at dealing with stress and conflicts with other people. You re lucky she accepts it; she probably think that's the best way to "keep" you and that in return you wont leave. Nothing is free right?
Wouldnt you be more satisfied working a real job at least part time tho? I would feel like a lazy bum after a while...not sure of the example I would give my kids too...

Unless your wife is a complete beast with no options she will soon tire of this arrangement and start looking around for a more dominant male to satisfy her needs. She will also become resentful, rightly or wrongly, that she's pulling all the weight. Some guy staying home making PB&J sandwiches for the kids is not going to cut it. This arrangement may work for a while but it will eventually go sour or the male will just have to live with his role as the beta who does as he's told. I've seen it time and time again with successful women that I work with. They're out doing what and whom they want while the neutered hubby sits home getting the kids ready for school the next day.

This. There s a difference between sharing the weight and completely reversing roles. Men or women both have the same needs, both need to have social activities and to participate in society thru work not just raising kids. Equality, balance is both men and women working enough to feel content but not too much either and having enough time to focus on the offspring at the same time.

[jwb]

Rich people who employ their own family members in their businesses do it all the time. And they re not walmart employees. Low and middle social classes workers are forced to follow the 40 hours of work a week -for a  job in adequation with your education- or the 20/25 hours of work a week -for a stricly bread and butter work- schedule by those at the top of the pyramid, doesnt mean those at the top of the pyramid do the same. Because they CAN do it differently as they re at the top and everyone else is below them (and they give them their jobs). As simple as that. Doesnt mean it should be that way. Everyone wishes they could live the same way richest people do and it's common sense 20/25 hours a week of work is the right balance for most people especially if they have a family life.
Everyone will agree we should all do what we like as a living, change once in a while, and we should all work enough hours to feel content but not too many hours either. Well, one day it will be possible, but it's clearly not the norm nowadays and wont be for quite a while. Again there s a need for changes and they will come one way or another. In the future people will have their lives programmed before birth, will be able to change careers without endangering the society equilibrium because everything will be planned pre birth.

 Fact is there will be a need for a big change in how our western society works and it will probably happen after the next economic /societal / spiritual collapse, and maybe after wars. As usual the rest of the world will adjust by imitating the west and how it adapted.

How many people work in a thriving, established family business their parents or grandparents worked like dogs to set up? Less than 1% I bet.

[calfzilla]

240 makes 40k a year plus. He has a nice setup.

[Papper]

I've been doing that since 2000.

Nice.

[beakdoctor]

Years ago I used to date a street reporter for a large news station. She made alot of money. Probably about 5 times as much as I did at that time and I wasn't struggling. She asked me if we were to get married would I quit my job and stay at home since she was the bread winner. I thought about it for a minute and told her no. I said "Well since you are going to be pregnant all the time anyway you're going to have to get used to spending more time at home and Ill have to be the one working." I wasn't joking. That was our last date.

[Natural Man]

240 makes 40k a year plus. He has a nice setup.

hi rob.