That's the vanity of the sport. You're never happy, you keep chasing the dream until you're so old you can't possibly do it anymore and many of the old veterans get deep depression because of it later on. It's not sustainable.
Just enjoy what you got now and push forward the best you can but don't lose your mind for it. And I find it cute that you don't give your weight, like it's some sort of holy matramony between you and god 
. But congrantulation for losing 90lbs, that takes a shit tonn of drive and dedication.
If you're so competetive, you should just go and compete and whatever happends, happends. They tell me that you really start to go to the next level after your first competition, because you humble yourself first and then you start to train like a machine.
Well, I'm 24 now so I hope in 10 years time I don't completely lose my damn mind over this if I don't keep achieving strength gains.
You're right, I'm going to check the meet schedules and see when they are coming up and just go for it.
The weight loss did not come easy at all. It was something I had to recommit to every single day. I'm very fortunate to have a husband who pushed me to things I never could have imagined. And thanks for your kind words of advice.
