Nevertheless, the thoughts are real.
your thoughts are real, but you have no evidence that God is watching or listening to you. You dont' even have any evidence that you will be judged for admittance into a place called Heaven.
Without any evidence of a reward or some kind of retribution it is actually neurotic to be worried about it. Your faith is actually creating unwarrented fear. And your fear may lead you to do something destructive. That is the nature of unquestioning faith without doubt.
I would say trust yourself, research the best science you can find on steroids and decide if it is right for you.