What I take from your post is that gay friendly cities are miserable.
It is not surprising that you came to this conclusion despite that there was nothing in my post suggesting gay friendly cities are miserable. Quite the opposite. One of the reasons the cost of living is high in a city is because people with good incomes choose to live there. The greater the demand for goods, services and housing is, the more those things cost.
The median household income in Palm Springs was $71,979 in 2023
https://www.numbeo.com/quality-of-life/in/Palm-SpringsThe median household income in Portland OR was $88,792 in 2023
https://www.numbeo.com/quality-of-life/in/PortlandAccording to Numbeo, the quality of life in Palm Springs CA and Portland high. Palm Springs CA is slightly lower than Portland Or.