Maybe.....but I'm not a fat french loser fuck with Jennifer Anniston hair.
You really have Alex on the brain don't you? The sad part is Alex put himself out there, wasn't afraid like you..."chopperider". Even the name screams Village People Motorcycle Guy. For Gods sake, give it up. You'll never be like Alex, he owns you, owns many people here even when he's making deals and hasn't thought of GetBig in months. The sad part is you have such a huge unhealthy fixation on Alex. The relentless neurotic nature of Chopper Rider with King Alex, it could be looked upon as "shameful". What is motivating you to keep bringing up Alex? Sex? Jealousy? Or maybe its mental illness, depression, substance abuse or some personality disorder.
Lets face it, Alex rejected you, you tried to reconcile and it didn't work. Now you try with all your heart to seek revenge on a man that has done nothing to you. You wanted more from him, you though that your love for him was reciprocated but it was nothing but a horrible delusion. You are a text book intimacy seeker.
Listen, go see a therapist, maybe sign up on a gay dating sight, do something sexually healthy and by God stay away from the Adult Theaters you frequented. Then and only then, maybe you can have a relationship and start on the road to recovery.
GODSPEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1