at this point in your post it's pretty clear that the emotions of "painful regret" overwhelmed you and sent you scrambling for the memory of a good thing gone bad.......
you chased him away with your self centered views of how you think the world should treat you did'nt ya ?
Uh no! I sent him packing when the truth sunk in that there was no way I could continue to see this man,
...and keep my self-respect. Let's just say he was into different things, ...and had "different appetites".
Eating an ice-cream sundae topped with ketchup & pickles might be interesting for a lark,
...but there's no way on God's green earth that I will even entertain the idea of a steady diet of that.
He was the one who used the "kiss me on the cheek" line, then quickly turned his head so I ended up planting one on his lips. I had met him with my girlfriend at the same time. We were both interested in him, ...and he chose me. She was OK with it. About 7 months after I stopped seeing him, my girlfriend ran into him, and he started hitting on her. She decided to ask my permission if it was OK with me if she went out with him. I told her it was fine by me if she wanted to start dating him, ...but if she was gonna date him, there were a few things about him, she might want to know ahead of time. I told her... she thanked me... and chose to start dating him anyway.
Shortly thereafter, one night when we were going out to dinner together. She was in my apartment while I was getting dressed, ...and she sort of tentatively brought up the subject of
[name withheld]. I asked her if she ever did go out with
[name withheld]? ...and how did she enjoy the
[I'm not saying]? She went pale as a ghost. I knew what that expression meant. We both burst out laughing at the same time. She could barely get the words out, as she admitted to me, that she thought the only reason I had told her what I had told her was because she thought I secretly didn't want her dating him, so I was making it all up to try to scare her away from him. She was horrified to discover that everything I told her was 100% true.
It's so funny because he's a guy that most women drool over and want to be with, ...until they actually are.
Then they're kicking themselves in the head that they actually went out with the guy, ...and are embarrassed to let people know they were with him, ...for fear someone else might know what he's into. <lol> I remember a Brazilian girl I worked with that was sooo hung up on him. She drooled over him constantly. She even used to go to Bemelman's just so she could stare at him. One night we ran into her at Stilife, and she pulled me aside to say she was madly in love with him, and thought I was soooo lucky to be going out with him. I immediately cringed inside, because, knowing this girl the way I did, and seeing the angst and longing in her heart for him, I knew there was no way she wouldn't have gotten intimate with him if he wanted. The very idea that she might know what he was into, ...and the fact that he was happy with me, was just too embarassing a thought.
Before I started going out with him, he used to live with a very busy Toronto Casting Director for 2 yrs.
They were still on very good terms even though they no longer lived together. He used to say "Use my name... or, I'll put in a good word for you". but I didn't dare, and didn't want him to. I was embarrassed for her to know that they had lived together for 2 yrs. A man doesn't invite a woman to move in with him unless she's keeping him happy, ...and I knew EXACTLY what it was that made him happy, ...and I was too embarrassed for her to even let her get the slightest hint that I knew what she was doing to keep him happy. Knowledge like that can come back to haunt you BIG TIME.
