Listen up man children, and listen good. Long post up ahead, so take your ADD medication.
I'm tired of hearing that you can't get laid. I have a straight buddy who spent 500$ on an Xbox one and 60$ a piece games to go with it. That's 600 + dollars on a electronic toy for kids and man babies. I spent half of my Saturday listening to him whine as he sat on his cat piss stained recliner playing call of whatever wondering why he can't get laid.
If you can spend 600$ on worthless gadgets, you can get your bum over to Macy's or wherever and revamp your sorry ass excuse for a wardrobe. Women are visual creatures darlings(actually both sexes are in general); they respond to visual stimulus. I'm gonna give you some gay man tips(all homo) for you straight boys that - hopefully - will help get you laid.
Gay tip man number one: Dress to impress
That's right mother fuckers, dress like you mean it.The way you look to people - i.e. first impression - is SUPER important in life. Whether it be business or pleasure, dressing in a certain way can have a profound impact in the way people view you and how they - ultimately - treat you. Sorry fellas, that's life. Dress like a bum, get treated like a bum. Dress like a puerile jerk off, don't be surprised when the ladies ignore you. Learn how to tie a tie. Don't be afraid of dress shoes and for God's sake put on some cologne, nobody wants to smell your shit stink. You gotta smell the way you dress and dress the way you smell: Good.
Gay man tip number two: Read a book dumb ass
Now that you got it going on in the looks department, it's time to get it going on in the brains department. Library card. You need one. Make it a goal to read at least one book a week. Women(and people, especially people with money) LOVE a smart and well read man. You don't want to be a fop who has nothing to contribute intellectually. Get educated, read as much as you can. Women's pussies will get wetter than water when they see your big ass book collection. Smart = sexy.
Gay man tip number three: Be interesting you boring jerk off.
In the real world, no one gives a shit how much you can titty press or what rank you are in call of battlefield. Staying in shapes a big plus, but it ain't the be all end all. Get into art, get into antiques, learn an instrument, write a novel, dabble in philosophy. Do something else besides show up at the gym a couple days a week for a self love session, then come home and play nine hours of Xbox. Women LOVE an interesting(and slightly mysterious) person with lots of interesting things about them.
Gay man tip number four: confidence
This one should be pretty self explanatory. Confidence - or a lack there of - will either make or break you.
I hope that helps.
Love,
Your friendly ass fiend Thteven.
