My friend seems to be happiest in his "forever alone/single" life

[JediTerminator]

My parents were married for 43 tears before separating, my Mum now believes marriage is extremely unnatural.  The irony is both there parents (my grandparents) on both sides also separated after 43 years of marriage.  Like most couples, my parents had no business being together, completely incompatible and only stuck it out due to societal expectations and pressure.  The only people who have faith in marriage are the young and naive who tend to romantacise most everything due to lack of experience. Marriage these days only benefits women while punishing men.  Men in general are no longer valued, when once they were providers and protectors, now they are viewed as rapists and pedophiles.  The only men who do well in relationships these days are the mommies boys who are content doing as their Mother wife tells them

I think marriage (basically just a very long term relationship) runs into the trouble of people growing apart and wanting different things. This usually boils down to finances. You aren't the same person you were 5 years ago, and thus ever evolving. This is where the "stuck in a rut" delves from. People don't accept change very well, and this creates envy, bitterness, etc. Also if someone pulls a complete fuck up are they ever really forgiven, and if so, nobody ever forgets. This builds resentment, once that kicks in the relationship ends its apex and slides downward.

[SF1900]

This post could end every one of these threads.

As Nietzsche said, "You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist."

[Radical Plato]

I think marriage (basically just a very long term relationship) runs into the trouble of people growing apart and wanting different things. This usually boils down to finances. You aren't the same person you were 5 years ago, and thus ever evolving. This is where the "stuck in a rut" delves from. People don't accept change very well, and this creates envy, bitterness, etc. Also if someone pulls a complete fuck up are they ever really forgiven, and if so, nobody ever forgets. This builds resentment, once that kicks in the relationship ends its apex and slides downward.

Personally I think feminism ruined any chance marriage had of working.  Women now act like men and refuse their natural role, men get tired of this new-age fraud and become profoundly unhappy.  The women picks up on this and compounds the misery by demanding that he change and adapt.  Eventually such an unnatural state must come to an end for the sanity of both parties.  Not only has feminism ruined relationships but it has caused untold misery in society, especially the workplace.  Feminism is a fascist ideology no different than Islam, and just as Islam has poisoned any place it has taken a stronghold, so has feminism strangled every society where it is taken seriously and has a popular following.  If you meet a woman and she says she is a feminist, start running for the hills.  If you meet a man and he says he is a feminist, shoot him.

[freespirit]

Sooo, someone's parents made a mistake and had you?

You are clueless.

[f450]

I am actually stunned that there are men arguing for marriage in this thread. The legal ramifications of a divorce can and often ruins men.

If you want a kid, have one. You want a companion jeez get one. But dont ever fucking get married if you are a man. The stats are bloody and the bodies are piling up .. How can you just ignore these facts? Its gotta be in the genes, kinda like a male black widow knowing its probably going to be eaten after mating with the female but it just cant help it.

Thats how I look at the married men... Very few of them make it out okay. The vast majority dont but the few that make it keep harping on about how great it is and drawing more men into the carnage. Thats fucked up.

P.S. theres more to being single than going out and drinking ( I dont know why this even comes up)....There is an infinite number of things to do with your time that will improve who you are both inside and out.

There are no pros to getting married. Only cons. Everything you can get in marriage you can get outside of it without giving the woman the loaded gun to destroy your life when she feels like it.

[FitnessFrenzy]

[Parker]

You are clueless.

then clue me in, Inspector Clouseau.

[da_vinci]

You must be young because most of the guys I know who used to be married are divorced now.  The negatives far outweigh the positives.

I was searchign for words to formulate it and you did it better. Many of these pro-marriage guys are exactly still young and many of them (speaking strictly statistics and plain facts) will be singing a different tune down the road. I'm witnessing what is happening in some of my parents friends families when people cross the 45-50 age after being together for like 20+ years and it's not pretty. Idk what exactly goes wrong, but it's very sad to listen.

[che]

There are pros and cons about being married. And pros and cons about being single. I guess it depends on the person.

Age is a big factor ,I don't think there are any pros being married  or in a serious relationship when you are young 18-25

[Primemuscle]

These days about 60% of all marriages end in divorce.  

Marriage is a legally binding financial agreement.  More often than not the man makes more money than the woman.  After the divorce the woman takes 50% of the assets, the house and the kids.  The man basically has to start all over again from scratch.... devastating.

Earlier in the thread someone posted that the divorce rate was 50%. In the U.S. it is actually a little less than 50%

It is 50% of the assets accumulated after the marriage. What each of them had prior to marriage, they can keep in most cases.

If the woman gets 50% of the assets then the man gets the other 50%. How is this starting over from scratch for either of them? If the house is an asset, it is often sold and any profits are split 50, 50.

Divorce is difficult for each party. It's a shame when people cannot resolve their differences and end up getting divorced. No one wins, not the husband, the wife or the children.

[Grape Ape]

The traditionalists on here make me fucking laugh.

Says the guy with the flip phone.

[Tedim]

the selfishness in these type threads is astounding....

[JediTerminator]

the selfishness in these type threads is astounding....

Welcome to the reality of 2015. The law has sided with the females. If you move in with a girl after 6 months she is now common law and entitled to your wages if you split. So you move in, try it out, it doesn't work out. You spend a couple months finding a decent place for yourself, and in that time you went over 6 months and now she can sue you for alimony. Straight up. Fucked up society that REWARDS "victims". Nevermind that relationships are personal business, and some people just grow apart. I've grown apart from many relationships. Its easy to hide what you are really like for a short period of time, and then once you feel the other can't leave, to unleash your real personality.

My advice for anyone is to go all 4 seasons and then some with a partner, before ever deciding anything concrete serious. People are too eager for a pat on the back for some kind of success. Like having yourself in a relationship on facebook is the only way its legit.

[Agnostic007]

Earlier in the thread someone posted that the divorce rate was 50%. In the U.S. it is actually a little less than 50%

It is 50% of the assets accumulated after the marriage. What each of them had prior to marriage, they can keep in most cases.

If the woman gets 50% of the assets then the man gets the other 50%. How is this starting over from scratch for either of them? If the house is an asset, it is often sold and any profits are split 50, 50.

Divorce is difficult for each party. It's a shame when people cannot resolve their differences and end up getting divorced. No one wins, not the husband, the wife or the children.

I think he is referring to the disparity within the system. At least my experience was it heavily leaned toward the female. I live in a community property state. Everything is "supposed" to be 50/50. However the reality is that didn't happen. While I kept my retirement, and my deferred compensation account and personal vehicles, she got the house, savings and everything else. I literally left with a truck full of my clothes and personal items... Got an apartment and had to buy everything from a bottle opener to washcloths at Walmart Nordstrom as I rebuilt my life.

Owned your house prior to getting married? You still have to share the increase in value while you were married. Had a retirement account? She gets half of what you accumulate during your marriage. Deferred Comp increase during your marriage? She gets half the increase. You paid all the bills and the mortgage? So what... she still gets half

[WalterWhite]

Welcome to the reality of 2015. The law has sided with the females. If you move in with a girl after 6 months she is now common law and entitled to your wages if you split. So you move in, try it out, it doesn't work out. You spend a couple months finding a decent place for yourself, and in that time you went over 6 months and now she can sue you for alimony. Straight up. Fucked up society that REWARDS "victims". Nevermind that relationships are personal business, and some people just grow apart. I've grown apart from many relationships. Its easy to hide what you are really like for a short period of time, and then once you feel the other can't leave, to unleash your real personality.

My advice for anyone is to go all 4 seasons and then some with a partner, before ever deciding anything concrete serious. People are too eager for a pat on the back for some kind of success. Like having yourself in a relationship on facebook is the only way its legit.

Where are you reading this? I haven't checked all states; however, most don't recognize common law and certainly not the one I live in.

[JediTerminator]

Where are you reading this? I haven't checked all states; however, most don't recognize common law and certainly not the one I live in.

I live in Canada. 6 months living together deems a "common law relationship". Sadly, and get this, if you were to do this with a woman with kids, YOU now can be gouged for child support. And... they... are... not... even... yours!!!!

Canada is a back-ass-wards country. We have awesome beer and weed, free health care (that really isn't free with doctors who charge to do paperwork), and a lax legal system.

[WalterWhite]

I live in Canada. 6 months living together deems a "common law relationship". Sadly, and get this, if you were to do this with a woman with kids, YOU now can be gouged for child support. And... they... are... not... even... yours!!!!

Canada is a back-ass-wards country. We have awesome beer and weed, free health care (that really isn't free with doctors who charge to do paperwork), and a lax legal system.

That's scary.  In the US you can be hit with child support and divorce laws are most surely antiquated but you can live with someone without any strings. I'm a victim of the divorce laws but don't live in a community property state and my daughter was in college.

[SF1900]

Earlier in the thread someone posted that the divorce rate was 50%. In the U.S. it is actually a little less than 50%

It is 50% of the assets accumulated after the marriage. What each of them had prior to marriage, they can keep in most cases.

If the woman gets 50% of the assets then the man gets the other 50%. How is this starting over from scratch for either of them? If the house is an asset, it is often sold and any profits are split 50, 50.

Divorce is difficult for each party. It's a shame when people cannot resolve their differences and end up getting divorced. No one wins, not the husband, the wife or the children.

Man has to pay child support, alimony, and possibly give up half his pension. That is how it normally goes.

[Voice of Doom]

Personally I think feminism ruined any chance marriage had of working.  Women now act like men and refuse their natural role, men get tired of this new-age fraud and become profoundly unhappy.  The women picks up on this and compounds the misery by demanding that he change and adapt.  Eventually such an unnatural state must come to an end for the sanity of both parties.  Not only has feminism ruined relationships but it has caused untold misery in society, especially the workplace.  Feminism is a fascist ideology no different than Islam, and just as Islam has poisoned any place it has taken a stronghold, so has feminism strangled every society where it is taken seriously and has a popular following.  If you meet a woman and she says she is a feminist, start running for the hills.  If you meet a man and he says he is a feminist, shoot him.

It would be hard to not nominate this ^^^ for post of the year 2015!

[Primemuscle]

I think he is referring to the disparity within the system. At least my experience was it heavily leaned toward the female. I live in a community property state. Everything is "supposed" to be 50/50. However the reality is that didn't happen. While I kept my retirement, and my deferred compensation account and personal vehicles, she got the house, savings and everything else. I literally left with a truck full of my clothes and personal items... Got an apartment and had to buy everything from a bottle opener to washcloths at Walmart Nordstrom as I rebuilt my life.

Owned your house prior to getting married? You still have to share the increase in value while you were married. Had a retirement account? She gets half of what you accumulate during your marriage. Deferred Comp increase during your marriage? She gets half the increase. You paid all the bills and the mortgage? So what... she still gets half

Although I have not been divorced, I know a lot of people who have been. In fact, none of our longtime friends are still together. Most of these divorces were contentious because their was a lot of anger involved on both sides. My mom and dad separated before I was 5 years old. Each of them went their own way. My mom didn't actually divorce my dad for many years, not for any particular reason either. There was little for them to split and whichever of them was taking care of me at any given time covered the cost. Alimony and child support was a non issue.

I think we're all forgetting to mention that when a marriage ends, it is often a mutual decision. At least with one of our friends, it was the husband's serial cheating that ended the marriage. His wife took him to the cleaners. She had not worked during their marriage at her husband's insistence. The were married for almost 20 years.

[Agnostic007]

Although I have not been divorced, I know a lot of people who have been. In fact, none of our longtime friends are still together. Most of these divorces were contentious because their was a lot of anger involved on both sides. My mom and dad separated before I was 5 years old. Each of them went their own way. My mom didn't actually divorce my dad for many years, not for any particular reason either. There was little for them to split and whichever of them was taking care of me at any given time covered the cost. Alimony and child support was a non issue.

I think we're all forgetting to mention that when a marriage ends, it is often a mutual decision. At least with one of our friends, it was the husband's serial cheating that ended the marriage. His wife took him to the cleaners. She had not worked during their marriage at her husband's insistence. The were married for almost 20 years.

Ironically, my divorce was mutually agreed upon.. until the process started... the reality set in and she turned into a she-devil and totally unreasonable. I guess she wasn't as ready to let go as she thought. Anyhoo, lesson learned. Going forward, gotta protect yourself in the event it doesn't work out.

[pedro01]

I live in a country where feminism hasn't taken off.

My wife doesn't work. She gets up in the AM and takes the kids to school, then goes and fetches me a coffee from Starbucks and when she comes back she cooks my breakfast. I work at home and I just have to call out for a cup of tea or a snack any time (unless she's off @ her yoga class or with friends). There is never any complaint and I usually get a peck on the cheek when it comes.  I get lunch & dinner made too and if she's not there she makes sure my food is.

If I go out & get shitfaced, I can call her at 3am and she'll drive into town and pick me up. Same deal if she's out with the girls, I'll do the same.

She considers these 'chores' just a part of helping her man focus on his business which right now is taking a lot of time. That's her role in the relationship.

In return, she expects the weekends to be family time. She expects to be taken out on dates so we can spend time together. She expects me to stay fit as she likes to get pounded hard in the sack, something she considers to be my role in the relationship - making sure she's sexually satisfied. When it's her time of the month, she'll give me BJs without complaint. She expects me to change lightbulbs, fix broken shit and do the driving when we are both in the car.

She has her friends & I have mine. She's free to go out whenever she wants as am I. Sometimes I go out with her friends too - but only with a wingman.

Marriage is not for everyone. I personally like the companionship. We met when I was 36 and I'm 45 on Saturday. She's 33 in June. Of course, we have our moments, heated discussions but that's normal.

In the event of my death - everything goes to her & the kids but in the meantime - offshore bank accounts are way beyond the jurisdiction of courts in this country.

All in all - I am happy to be married and happy that we both have our roles, I support her, she supports me. I think this is the way it used to be a long time ago in the west....

[che]

I am happy to be married

 

[pedro01]

Unable to comprehend that different people like different things?

[che]

Unable to comprehend that different people like different things?

You'll lose  50% of your shit