No, I am not kidding. Now, how about you just answer a straight question with a straight answer.
Okay
"Everywhere Marie Yovanovitch went turned bad," including Somalia and Ukraine.
"Over the last two years, the number of murders in America and America’s major cities has dropped, unlike here (Chicago), by more than 10%."
Originally "almost all models predicted" Dorian would hit Alabama.
"There has never been, ever before, an administration that’s been so open and transparent."
"In the ‘old days’ if you were president and you had a good economy, you were basically immune from criticism."
"The noise (from windmills) causes cancer." (love this one!)
Says troops recently received "one of the biggest pay raises" ever, and that it was the first pay increase in "more than 10 years."
"If you buy, you know, a box of cereal, if you do anything, you have a voter ID. … The only thing you don’t is if you’re a voter of the United States."
Says a recent opioid bill that reached his desk had "very little Democrat support."
In California, "they're rioting now" over sanctuary cities.
Says Democrats "want to give (undocumented immigrants) cars."
"Some of the Democrats have been talking about ending (coverage for) pre-existing conditions."
Says Wisconsin "hadn’t been won by a Republican since Dwight D. Eisenhower, in 1952. And I won Wisconsin. … Ronald Reagan, remember, Wisconsin was the state that Ronald Reagan did not win."
Says that people "went out in their boats to watch" Hurricane Harvey.
"In many places, like California, the same person votes many times. You probably heard about that. They always like to say 'oh that's a conspiracy theory.' Not a conspiracy theory, folks. Millions and millions of people."
"I never said Russia did not meddle in the election." Chicago is "the city with the strongest gun laws in our nation."
Ending the estate tax would "protect millions of small businesses and the American farmer."
White nationalist protesters in Charlottesville "had a permit. The other group didn’t have a permit."
Before the presidential campaign, "I didn't know Steve (Bannon)."
There was "serious voter fraud" in Virginia.
There was "serious voter fraud" in New Hampshire.
There was "serious voter fraud" in California.
"Of course, there is large scale voter fraud happening on and before election day."
Says a tweet he sent out "wasn’t saying, ‘check out a sex tape.’ It was just ‘take a look at" the background of Alicia Machado.
"I finished" the controversy about where President Barack Obama was born.
The number of illegal immigrants "could be 3 million. It could be
30 million."
Says Barack Obama "founded ISIS. I would say the co-founder would be crooked Hillary Clinton."
"We don't know anything about Hillary in terms of religion. Now, she's been in the public eye for years and years, and yet there's no — there's nothing out there."
"The Obama administration was actively supporting Al Qaeda in Iraq, the terrorist group that became the Islamic State."
"I wanted to keep it private, because I don't think it's anybody's business if I want to send money to the vets." He could have kept quiet, but didn't
Says Ted Cruz’s father "was with Lee Harvey Oswald" before the assassination of President John F. Kennedy.
"Frankly, (Hillary Clinton) doesn’t do very well with women." Clinton leads Trump among women by historic margin
The 2016 federal omnibus spending bill "funds illegal immigrants coming in and through your border, right through Phoenix." Funds the opposite
"I don't know anything about David Duke." After disavowing Duke 2 days earlier
Says Ted Cruz "said I was in favor in Libya. I never discussed that subject." He discussed it on his own blog
A Trump television ad shows Mexicans swarming over "our southern border." Footage isn't from U.S. Mexico border; it's from Morocco
"I watched in Jersey City, N.J., where thousands and thousands of people were cheering" as the World Trade Center collapsed. No one remembers this but Trump
"I never said that" Marco Rubio was Mark Zuckerberg’s personal senator. Time to check his own website
The unemployment rate may be as high as "42 percent."
