I used to be friends with a shit bandit. Actually started as a bathroom bandit but escalated. Always took place in public restrooms or his place of employement.
Started with pissing on toilet seats in the hopes that someone would side on his urine.
Leaving shit in the toilet.
Leaving some shit smears on the toilet seat.
Pissing on the roll of toilet paper.
In 2006 this asshole moved from Michigan to North Carolina. He took a job in a manufacturing warehouse of some sort. He became friendly with the custodian. My friend was a short, stocky white hillbilly where as the custodian was an older, colored gentlemen. He started his antics there hoping that his new friend would confide in him and tell him about the bathroom acts. He got the biggest thrill out of hearing about his dirty work. Finally, about two months into his tenure he sat down in a stall and took a shit. He proceeded to wipe his fat ass but instead of putting the used paper into the toilet, he crammed it up into toilet paper dispenser. He finished his business and even flushed the toilet. Then he moved to the stall next door. He sat patiently waiting for the next contestant to take a shit. Eventually someone did. He sat patiently waiting. Then he heard the loudest scream/shriek he'd ever heard from another mans mouth. The man abruptly left the stall and feverishly washed his hands under what I'd assume was piping hot water. When the coast was clear my pal returned to his station. On his way there he saw the victim using a shop sink to douse his hands/fingers in pure rubbing alcohol.
That same afternoon, the entire shop was summoned for a meeting with the GM. Investigation to follow and the culprit would be terminated. About a week later, this asshole along with 4 other guys who hired in with him were all let go.
Shitty resolution.
