Author Topic: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.  (Read 14743 times)

Taffin

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 12813
  • Manlet's gonna manlet!
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #125 on: June 04, 2022, 06:31:34 AM »
Today has been a morning of unbridled savagery. I didn't realise I'd have to strip to my boxers for a skin check. I'd ran for a quick piss beforehand, and obviously didn't shake too well. when I stripped off, my heart stopped as I glanced down at yet another massive patch of piss spread out across my light blue boxers. I'm fucking turning into Liam Neeson or some shit. It was a female doctor, too.

And to top it off, I'm a fat cunt. I barely even have a hint of abs right now. I've ate 24 packs of scampi fries over the past two days. This has been the wake-up call I needed. It's time to stop fucking about and get back into fitness properly - diet included.

Not your fault.

You, I, and Liam Neeson for that matter, all clearly suffer from the Celtic Curse (need a wheelbarrow to carry our c0cks round).  Trying to ensure our pipes are empty is not as easy as for your regular dudes...p1ss tracks are an occupational hazard...

Oh, and don't worry, I guarantee she was wet too... ;)
T

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #126 on: June 04, 2022, 11:00:54 AM »
Not your fault.

You, I, and Liam Neeson for that matter, all clearly suffer from the Celtic Curse (need a wheelbarrow to carry our c0cks round).  Trying to ensure our pipes are empty is not as easy as for your regular dudes...p1ss tracks are an occupational hazard...

Oh, and don't worry, I guarantee she was wet too... ;)

What we need is a 'horse-cock' board, Taffin. Something elite. Approved members only. Those wanting to join have to send photographs to you, me and OneMoreRep.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #127 on: June 06, 2022, 02:50:41 AM »
Listening to Gerry Rafferty's 'Right Down the Line' and thinking hard about how much I'd like a piņa colada (no homo). I feel like drinking alcohol in the morning might be a great way for me to start my day.

Humble Narcissist

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 19918
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #128 on: June 06, 2022, 12:13:12 PM »
Listening to Gerry Rafferty's 'Right Down the Line' and thinking hard about how much I'd like a piņa colada (no homo). I feel like drinking alcohol in the morning might be a great way for me to start my day.
Alcoholics around the world agree.

Taffin

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 12813
  • Manlet's gonna manlet!
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #129 on: June 07, 2022, 07:06:32 AM »
Listening to Gerry Rafferty's 'Right Down the Line' and thinking hard about how much I'd like a piņa colada (no homo). I feel like drinking alcohol in the morning might be a great way for me to start my day.

Get your sweater ready ;D

T

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #130 on: June 08, 2022, 06:41:02 AM »
Get your sweater ready ;D



Get a load of that guy, lol. Brutal sex-offender look. My girlfriend keeps unironically playing that song whenever she's making them. Total loser.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #131 on: June 11, 2022, 04:22:22 AM »
Dunno why this made me laugh so much, but it did. Martin just standing there getting absolutely roasted and accused of wearing fancy dress.  :D


AbrahamG

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 15176
  • In Oak We Trust
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #132 on: June 11, 2022, 01:51:14 PM »
Exciting times ahead. Life took a nosedive recently with the death of a parent, and I really now need to be back in the UK, but I have secured interviews with two different departments to become a high-flying mandarin, and I may have just found the perfect flat to buy. I shall celebrate this weekend with my best friends, whiskey, and a ton of junk food.

I missed this post. Sorry to hear about your loss pal.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #133 on: June 25, 2022, 08:56:18 AM »
A trespassing tranny almost got mauled by a pack of dogs today at the beach, lol. It was a privilege to witness such a scene. I was at a tranquil little area for dog owners to lounge around and sunbathe. Quite a few hot slags around, some families, loads of dogs. It was a joyous occasion.

That was until a marauding transsexual came mincing over the sand dunes, shattered the relaxed ambiance, and sparked a fucking red alert that had all the dogs going absolutely mental and chasing him. I was pissing myself as all the dog owners scrambled to get them back on their leashes and prevent a bloodbath, lol. Some woman next to me was also in stitches at the sight of this gangly, 6'2" Tim Curry lookalike with bolt-on tits getting chased by about ten tiny terriers.

Strange how they all just sensed that something wasn't right with this person and instantly tried to kill them, haha.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #134 on: July 04, 2022, 04:15:23 AM »
I've asked Fat Ron (only joking, Ron) to delete this account just to be on the safe side for a little bit. He's never logged in, though. Still, if he manages to do so, I'll promptly return when the coast is clear. I've always wanted an 'is back' account.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #135 on: July 05, 2022, 01:45:54 AM »
After dinner the other night, I was joking with my girlfriend that I'd wash up all of her dishes if she could take two towel whips to her bare ass and unemotionally reply with 'thank you, sir, may I have another?' each time. She was up for the challenge, but I suddenly had a change of heart as I knew I'd likely cause actual damage.

To give a brief demonstration of what it would entail, I attempted to lightly flick my own bare foot with the kitchen towel first. Typically, I completely fucked it up and whipped the sole of my foot with enough force to generate a crack that sounded like a gunshot. I let out a mighty roar that shook the birds from the trees and set off car alarms in the next city, then collapsed into my chair, beaten and humiliated by my own hand.

The moral of this story is simply that I'm too strong. The only man who can defeat me is me.

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #136 on: July 18, 2022, 06:33:26 AM »
Lord, I am losing my bloody mind being back in the UK and just waiting for people to hurry the fuck up with various processes. I might just go back to what I was doing before. I don't have the patience for all this. No wonder nothing functions over here.

Taffin

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 12813
  • Manlet's gonna manlet!
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #137 on: July 18, 2022, 09:05:18 AM »
I've asked Fat Ron (only joking, Ron) to delete this account just to be on the safe side for a little bit. He's never logged in, though. Still, if he manages to do so, I'll promptly return when the coast is clear. I've always wanted an 'is back' account.

Can you dance around the reasons you feel this necessary my friend..? (the deletion, I mean)  Go ahead and ignore if you think it gives anything away though

And I think you'd suit "The Spunk is Back"  ;D
T

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #138 on: July 18, 2022, 03:25:21 PM »
Can you dance around the reasons you feel this necessary my friend..? (the deletion, I mean)  Go ahead and ignore if you think it gives anything away though

And I think you'd suit "The Spunk is Back"  ;D

Did you get last PM, mate? Fat Ron ignored the request anyway, so it looks like the spunk is here to stay, lol.

Taffin

  • Getbig V
  • *****
  • Posts: 12813
  • Manlet's gonna manlet!
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #139 on: July 18, 2022, 03:41:48 PM »
Did you get last PM, mate? Fat Ron ignored the request anyway, so it looks like the spunk is here to stay, lol.

I did yes thanks - and I for one am glad you were forced back to Stalag GetBig at gunpoint by Herr Generalfeldmarschall Avidan

Maybe a name change instead for you, Tommy?

Permanent Spunker?
Indelible Spunker?
The Unstoppable Spunker

 ;D ;D
T

Phantom Spunker

  • Competitors
  • Getbig III
  • *****
  • Posts: 729
Re: Dear Diary: a place for fleeting thoughts and daily ponderings.
« Reply #140 on: July 21, 2022, 11:25:07 AM »
I did yes thanks - and I for one am glad you were forced back to Stalag GetBig at gunpoint by Herr Generalfeldmarschall Avidan

Maybe a name change instead for you, Tommy?

Permanent Spunker?
Indelible Spunker?
The Unstoppable Spunker

 ;D ;D

Third one is a little too accurate, lol. Sometimes I think chemical castration would be a great option for helping me to get more important shit done. By the way, did you ever confirm if that shooter you found was real or not? The topic popped into my head again just now while watching some crap on YouTube.