I told you it was satire, he didnt... but it clearly was..
imagine this clown in court
'mr donny you say you were threatened by hamsters'
'yes m'lud'
'ninja hamsters'
'ninja hamsters???'
'yes hamsters who know ninjitsu'
ninjitsu?'
'yes ninjitsu, is a traditional Japanese martial art and system of strategy developed over 650 years ago for espionage, sabotage, and survival. Often called the "art of stealth," it emphasizes unorthodox tactics, evasion, and concealment over pure strength. Modern training often incorporates taijutsu (body techniques), grappling, and weapon work.'
'and how many of the ninja hamsters were there'
' i dont know'
'one ..... ten... one hundred'
'i don't know i didnt see them. they were fucking ninja's.'
'and what did they do'
'nothing'
'nothing'
'no but i believed they were going to put acid into my two lads faces'.
'have there been issues with ninja hamsters before'
'no'
' so why did you believe an unconfirmed number of unconfirmed, unseen ninja hamsters were going to put acid in your sons faces'
'because he took the piss out of me being a racist while paying to have sex with black prostitiute. so i told him i would have him put away forever'.
'and do you have his name?'
'yes 38 returns'.
'officer lock this crank up please'.