Room for rent

[BayGBM]

Lately I have been reading some amusing ads for people looking for rooms to rent.  I own a few rental properties, and I typically rent the whole house to one family or one person, but one of the houses is operated as individual rooms for rent.  When one occupant prepares to leave, I look at the posted ads for those searching... even as I post my own ad describing the space… The smallest room rents for $1000; the largest rents for $1400.  I do not allow smokers, pets, or visitors/guests.  They have access to the kitchen and laundry on site… off street parking is available in the driveway; if they want to use the two car garage that is an additional $200/month.  Obviously, this is not the ideal situation for anyone--no one dreams of growing up to rent a room--nevertheless some of the ads leave me scratching my head or laughing out loud.  Some examples…

Musician looking for a room to rent or to go and find a home to share. Preferably with another musician or musicians. I'm 49 white male I have 3 cats that are my babies and family. I play guitar and love watching movies in surround sound. I'm clean respectful I work full-time overnight shifts hopefully that won't be a problem. Also need to be close to public transportation...

You want to move into a house with your three cats and play your surround sound music disturbing the other occupants?  No.

Im looking for a room to rent in a house; I'm 62 year old man and have a 90lb dog that I have that would be coming, she does get along with cats and other dogs as long as they are not alpha dog.
I'm on Social Security and get monthly check and looking for a rent of $500 to 600 a month.  I'm currently looking for employment as well so if you have anything in this criteria please reach out...

You really expect to move your 90lbs dog into a space occupied by other people?  Big dogs smell and make a mess. "I wish someone would move in here with a 90 pound dog," said no one--ever, so I don't know who he is expecting to take him in.  And his budget is $600?  The dog alone would cost that much! No. 

Looking for small room share for my disabled twin brother
My brother is 38/
He is like a large teddy bear/
He currently does not work / but plans to volunteer next month.
I will be paying his bills-
He does not own a car/ prefers to not have-
He struggles with things, but he is fully functional-
Just looking for a safe place for him to lay his head-
He does smoke cigs outside / I manage his meds
Please email if you have anything/ thank you

Why don't you live with your smoking disabled brother instead of trying to foist him onto others? No.

Hi, looking to pay $50-100 monthly to stay in my tent in your yard if you have a private yard.

So, you want to pitch a tent in the back yard and live there for $100?  And what will you do for bathroom, food, and hygiene, and laundry?  I suspect you come with a pet too?  That's not worth a $100 to anyone; not $200, not $400, not $600.  No.

Room wanted. 69 years old male. Stays in room [back problems] on the computer, most the time local native. Excellent credit rating. Have a fish tank. Need an inexpensive room, as I am on minimum ss and ssi.

Do I want a fish tank in one of my rooms? No.  What happens when the tank leaks or bursts and water is spilled all over?  I can just as easily find someone who doesn't have a fish tank or any pets for that matter.  No.

[BayGBM]

Another:

I need a room for rent... pay monthly. I am a retired male also I work part time.
Please anyone who would like to have a new friend around. I can pay  $800.00 per month with water and power. The room can be furnished or empty. will be nice if I can park inside, my new car.

So you want a room and garage space for your new car... for $800?  Garage space alone is $200-$300/month--or more in some cities. 

[walkerblocker]

rent a room to me for 0. Entertainment factor is priceless,....um no homo though 

[joswift]

dj181 incoming

[Raymondo]

Dealing with tenants can be risky and generally a PITA. Owning property is a nice old-school asset but as an investment vehicle, I don't know.

HMOs, definitely a no-no. I mean, the stress alone.

[joswift]

Dealing with tenants can be risky and generally a PITA. Owning property is a nice old-school asset but as an investment vehicle, I don't know.

HMOs, definitely a no-no. I mean, the stress alone.

Big money in UK for landlords if you lease a house to the government for an HMO (illegals) they pay you rent for each rag head for 3 years and pay all the refurb costs, repairs and all your utilities

[Raymondo]

Big money in UK for landlords if you lease a house to the government for an HMO (illegals) they pay you rent for each rag head for 3 years and pay all the refurb costs, repairs and all your utilities

Funny you should say that, I know someone at work who does that. HMO in Nottingham (he doesn't even live there, he lives in Hampshire)

[BayGBM]

more:

Household duties trade
I am a handy-woman but I don’t know how to do electricity and plumbing. Everything else I can do. Also, don’t know how to do auto as well.
Searching for a few 4-7 months agreement.
No criminal history, no kids, no pets

If you don't know how to do electrical, plumbing, or auto then you are NOT handy.  Someone who is handy figures things out--they don't begin by telling you what they cannot do. No. 

IN NEED of a temperary place for a 58 yr old man and his 4 fur babies. They are one elderly female and 3 2 yr olds all crate trained and house trained . They are very well taken care of and spoiled dogs who are very loving and full of energy who need their own yard to run n play in and not stuck in or tied to this camper we are stuck in now…

"I wish I could find someone to move in who has 4 dogs!"  Have you ever said that... or thought it? No.  No one has and no one ever will. 

Hi,  Just like the header states, I'm a mature male relocating next week and I need a nice, clean, and safe place to live with absolutely no drama or crazy people. Sad to have to say that in year 2026. Willing to pay $450-$700 per month. Place, must be nice and clean with no bugs. Male or Female.

His budget needs a reality check.   Where can $450 get you nice, clean, and safe?  I suppose he wants a separate entrance, private bath, a pool, and indoor parking too? No. 

[NaturalWonder83]

more:

Household duties trade
I am a handy-woman but I don’t know how to do electricity and plumbing. Everything else I can do. Also, don’t know how to do auto as well.
Searching for a few 4-7 months agreement.
No criminal history, no kids, no pets

If you don't know how to do electrical, plumbing, or auto then you are NOT handy.  Someone who is handy figures things out--they don't begin by telling you what they cannot do. No. 

IN NEED of a temperary place for a 58 yr old man and his 4 fur babies. They are one elderly female and 3 2 yr olds all crate trained and house trained . They are very well taken care of and spoiled dogs who are very loving and full of energy who need their own yard to run n play in and not stuck in or tied to this camper we are stuck in now…

"I wish I could find someone to move in who has 4 dogs!"  Have you ever said that... or thought it? No.  No one has and no one ever will. 

Hi,  Just like the header states, I'm a mature male relocating next week and I need a nice, clean, and safe place to live with absolutely no drama or crazy people. Sad to have to say that in year 2026. Willing to pay $450-$700 per month. Place, must be nice and clean with no bugs. Male or Female.

His budget needs a reality check.   Where can $450 get you nice, clean, and safe?  I suppose he wants a separate entrance, private bath, a pool, and indoor parking too? No. 

Bay: The handy lady is posting a sex ad. You see it on Craigslist all the time. That’s code word lingo to sneak the ad through the censors.

[Barry Casserole, P.I.]

Lately I have been reading some amusing ads for people looking for rooms to rent.  I own a few rental properties, and I typically rent the whole house to one family or one person, but one of the houses is operated as individual rooms for rent.  When one occupant prepares to leave, I look at the posted ads for those searching... even as I post my own ad describing the space… The smallest room rents for $1000; the largest rents for $1400.  I do not allow smokers, pets, or visitors/guests.  They have access to the kitchen and laundry on site… off street parking is available in the driveway; if they want to use the two car garage that is an additional $200/month.  Obviously, this is not the ideal situation for anyone--no one dreams of growing up to rent a room--nevertheless some of the ads leave me scratching my head or laughing out loud.  Some examples…

Musician looking for a room to rent or to go and find a home to share. Preferably with another musician or musicians. I'm 49 white male I have 3 cats that are my babies and family. I play guitar and love watching movies in surround sound. I'm clean respectful I work full-time overnight shifts hopefully that won't be a problem. Also need to be close to public transportation...

You want to move into a house with your three cats and play your surround sound music disturbing the other occupants?  No.

Im looking for a room to rent in a house; I'm 62 year old man and have a 90lb dog that I have that would be coming, she does get along with cats and other dogs as long as they are not alpha dog.
I'm on Social Security and get monthly check and looking for a rent of $500 to 600 a month.  I'm currently looking for employment as well so if you have anything in this criteria please reach out...

You really expect to move your 90lbs dog into a space occupied by other people?  Big dogs smell and make a mess. "I wish someone would move in here with a 90 pound dog," said no one--ever, so I don't know who he is expecting to take him in.  And his budget is $600?  The dog alone would cost that much! No. 

Looking for small room share for my disabled twin brother
My brother is 38/
He is like a large teddy bear/
He currently does not work / but plans to volunteer next month.
I will be paying his bills-
He does not own a car/ prefers to not have-
He struggles with things, but he is fully functional-
Just looking for a safe place for him to lay his head-
He does smoke cigs outside / I manage his meds
Please email if you have anything/ thank you

Why don't you live with your smoking disabled brother instead of trying to foist him onto others? No.

Hi, looking to pay $50-100 monthly to stay in my tent in your yard if you have a private yard.

So, you want to pitch a tent in the back yard and live there for $100?  And what will you do for bathroom, food, and hygiene, and laundry?  I suspect you come with a pet too?  That's not worth a $100 to anyone; not $200, not $400, not $600.  No.

Room wanted. 69 years old male. Stays in room [back problems] on the computer, most the time local native. Excellent credit rating. Have a fish tank. Need an inexpensive room, as I am on minimum ss and ssi.

Do I want a fish tank in one of my rooms? No.  What happens when the tank leaks or bursts and water is spilled all over?  I can just as easily find someone who doesn't have a fish tank or any pets for that matter.  No.

Please do the world a favor and kill yourself, you self-absorbed bug-chasing nasty piece of shit.

God forbid lower income people have hobbies, pets, disabled family to look after, and desires of their own. The big successful landlord BayGM says no! I hope your rental burns down with you inside.

-Casserole

[BayGBM]

Please do the world a favor and kill yourself, you self-absorbed bug-chasing nasty piece of shit.

God forbid lower income people have hobbies, pets, disabled family to look after, and desires of their own. The big successful landlord BayGM says no! I hope your rental burns down with you inside.

-Casserole

Spoken like someone recently rejected.  Just think: if you had fewer pets and hobbies maybe you could afford your own place. 

[B_B_C]

Spoken like someone recently rejected.  Just think: if you had fewer pets and hobbies maybe you could afford your own place. 

Dorothy Authority has spoken

[Barry Casserole, P.I.]

Spoken like someone recently rejected.  Just think: if you had fewer pets and hobbies maybe you could afford your own place. 

The Casserole is a landlord. I rent to people with pets. Pets need homes too. If someone owns a fucking fish tank or wants to smoke outside, who the fuck are you to try and control every aspect of someone's life? You're an entitled, pretentious fucking loser sniffing your own farts.

-Casserole

[Flexacon]

Musician looking for a room to rent or to go and find a home to share. Preferably with another musician or musicians. I'm 49 white male I have 3 cats that are my babies and family. I play guitar and love watching movies in surround sound. I'm clean respectful I work full-time overnight shifts hopefully that won't be a problem. Also need to be close to public transportation...

You want to move into a house with your three cats and play your surround sound music disturbing the other occupants?  No.

This clown work nights so on his days off he'll be watching movies in surround sound at night whilst everyone else sleeping

Also disabled tenants are the worst. They expect you to make expensive adjustments to the property to accommodate them after they've moved in

They are all still better options than dj

[BayGBM]

This clown work nights so on his days off he'll be watching movies in surround sound at night whilst everyone else sleeping

Also disabled tenants are the worst. They expect you to make expensive adjustments to the property to accommodate them after they've moved in

Exactly right on both counts!

The first guy needs to get his own place. He mentions his sound system because he is going to use it and disturb other people.  Not to mention practicing his guitar… who wants to listen to that?  No one.  And don't forget his 3 cats! 

The disabled person above needs to live with his sibling. Disabled and smoking is not a sympathetic profile.