Dearest brother,
It sounds like California is treating you well. Unfortunately, I don’t foresee the Canadian Army showing such acceptance for outward displays of homosexuality during my lifetime. I am greener than my army fatigues with envy! I have enclosed a book that I’ve been working on with my lover. Surprisingly, only a few pages are stuck together. Unfortunately, they’re some of the best pages highlighting Napoleon’s sexual risk-taking. I think we can both relate to it. I tried my best implementing the Weider Semen Retention Principles, but we both know how horny Emile can get. Happy reading!

Smooches,
Benny

"Dear Ben,
Sadly, not long after that photo was taken disaster struck. I caught Arnold talking to a woman, in our room, on his bed! I can take him making fun of that dolt Louie, and paling around with that Sardinian that always smells like garlic, but to throw his love of women in my face like that? It's unacceptable. Arnold may have to go.
I've got a meeting with the Mentzer brothers, perhaps I can turn them to our way of thinking. Their mouths say no, but those moustaches say maybe, perhaps.
I like the cover of the book. Could you imagine being at the battle of Waterloo or the battle of Leipzig, and watching all those muscular young bodies?
It's good to be Emperor.
Yours,
Joe "