If he reads this, here's my opinion after going through experiences with suicidal clients:
Suicide in their minds stops the suffering. False. It'll enhance everything tenfold to say the least.
When the soul personality exits life this way, it'll remain in a weird limbo in the astral level .. not here, not there. In between. Confused, it'll need to understand what happened and why. Then, when it "gets it", it'll recreate another life where the lessons will be so that suicide will be out of the question. It'll be much much more difficult.
How do I know all this? Well, in my last life I did kill myself. I was tortured from a very early age and abused in each and every way in mind control experiments so I could be programmed. To program the mind, you fracture it through extreme trauma. And so forth.
At some point I tried to run away but I got caught and brought back. I killed myself then. It is horrible.
I do know one thing: in life, no matter what we face, there is a solution. THAT'S why we came here. If it were impossible to overcome, life would make no sense at all. So you need to start sorting it out. In general, always, when you trully want help, it comes to you in one way or another.
So shizzo, if you read this, I can help you put things in perspective free of charge. If you don't value my opinion, no problem, I am positive you can find someone else to help you.
Many talked here about your drinking. That alters reality and the mind-pattern behind it is "escaping reality". What are you trying to escape?
Your posts scream "abandonment". You are never ever alone. All that you will ever need is already within you, so you just need to realize that and you'll be "happy".
Your handle: shizzo81
The name means "volatile issues caused by something encoded in your DNA" .. it also indicates you can be very stubborn. 9 means ending something. So what are you trying to end?
Shawn means "fast activation of DNA in order to retrieve information to heal yourself". See? It's in your fucking name too.
Grandmother passing means symbolically that you "want to give up the way you behave or "are" in the day to day life". It serves you no more. Old fixed or logical ideas serve you no more from now on so you need to ditch them.
Hope this helps.