"I had lipo"

[stuntmovie]

Yep! Perfectly stated. 

[BayGBM]

being judgmental IS a bad thing bay. I like you but the way you talk about your friend who got lipo is kind of immature to be honest. Live and let live, there was no crime committed. However your comments about it being unhealthy are right on

A crime does not have to be committed for something to be wrong or misguided.  And all of us are judgmental; we pass judgment on, and make choices about, all sorts of things every day.  Your decision to call me “judgmental” is itself a judgment and there is nothing wrong with your expressing that opinion.

I am not a fan of trying to control other people; as I said before “I am not stopping him from doing what he wants nor would I want to” but we live in a world where people consistently make choices that lead them to a very bad place, and then they wonder why fate is so unkind to them, as if there were no relationship between the choices they made and the consequences they are living with.  Many young people, for example, choose to drop out of high school; fast forward a few years and they find themselves wondering why so many doors in life are closed to them (which reminds me of this thread http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=281208.0 )

I see this happening with my friend, but what really fascinates me about this episode is that I can see that he sees it to.  He is actually a very educated and intelligent man, and I can hear him wrestling with his own impulses about having more surgery.  He knows the impulse to have more surgery is taking him to “a very bad place” but he can’t seem to stop himself.  His vanity, sense of discipline, and reason are at odds.  I suspect that is something many of us on this board can identify with.  

[pluck]

Baygbm you seem like a good person but you are the most judgemental black gay man I've ever encountered

Dude, ALL gay guys are judgemental ...well atleast the queens are.

[pellius]

I had a friend years ago, this was in the late 1980s, who was a recreational bodybuilder -- meaning he didn't compete but just wanted to have a great physique. It was just his hobby. Anyway, he was in damn good shape and very lean. The thing was that he had these little "love handles". It wasn't really that bad for a normal person but because he was so lean everywhere else they kind of stood out. No matter what he did he couldn't get rid of those. I saw him get downright skinny and lose a lot of muscle to try to get rid of those things. Those two pockets of fat but they just wouldn't budge. He finally got them sucked out. Problem solved. Back in the gym two days latter.

I didn't think it was a big thing. Sure it was vain and in the real world probably nobody noticed but him. I just remember thinking what a country we live in that can give us the luxury to worry about such things and do something about it.

BTW, it did make a difference in his physique. Much more than I thought it would.

[tbombz]

a crime DOES  have to be committed in order for something to be wrong. im not talking about the united states legal system, im talking about true crime. breaking moral law.  and in order for something to be wrong, there must be a victim.  when there is no victim, there is no crime.

even when someone does do something wrong, you still should not condemn them or think ill of them or be disgusted by them. just be saddened by their lapse in or lack of character and wish them better. 

i wasnt judging you, i was saying that being judgemental is a bad thing because you said it wasnt. ("you say that like its a bad thing") i was simply trying to shed some light on the reality of the moral situation at hand.

A crime does not have to be committed for something to be wrong or misguided.  And all of us are judgmental; we pass judgment on, and make choices about, all sorts of things every day.  Your decision to call me “judgmental” is itself a judgment and there is nothing wrong with your expressing that opinion.

I am not a fan of trying to control other people; as I said before “I am not stopping him from doing what he wants nor would I want to” but we live in a world where people consistently make choices that lead them to a very bad place, and then they wonder why fate is so unkind to them, as if there were no relationship between the choices they made and the consequences they are living with.  Many young people, for example, choose to drop out of high school; fast forward a few years and they find themselves wondering why so many doors in life are closed to them (which reminds me of this thread http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?topic=281208.0 )

I see this happening with my friend, but what really fascinates me about this episode is that I can see that he sees it to.  He is actually a very educated and intelligent man, and I can hear him wrestling with his own impulses about having more surgery.  He knows the impulse to have more surgery is taking him to “a very bad place” but he can’t seem to stop himself.  His vanity, sense of discipline, and reason are at odds.  I suspect that is something many of us on this board can identify with.  

[BayGBM]

a crime DOES  have to be committed in order for something to be wrong. im not talking about the united states legal system, im talking about true crime. breaking moral law.  and in order for something to be wrong, there must be a victim.  when there is no victim, there is no crime.

even when someone does do something wrong, you still should not condemn them or think ill of them or be disgusted by them. just be saddened by their lapse in or lack of character and wish them better. 

i wasnt judging you, i was saying that being judgemental is a bad thing because you said it wasnt. ("you say that like its a bad thing") i was simply trying to shed some light on the reality of the moral situation at hand.

We disagree.

[Alex23]

We disagree.

We don't   

 

[tbombz]

We disagree.

so would you say you think its ok to express negativity?

because thats where the disinction lies between being judgmental and a truthful assessment. judgemental just looks at the truth in a negative way. (when negatively judged). it takes a jump from correlation to causation towards a pessimistic/negative end.

i dont think expressing negativity about someone is to be desired. id rather wish everyone the best, and when i see distasteful behavior give as much benefit of the doubt as possible, within reason. but of course, never leave myself open for the taking advantage of either.

to feel irritated, annoyed, disgusted, discomforted, or any negativity towards someone is not a good thing. i think sometimes you cant help it and will have to express anger at people, but you should always express sadness over their lapse in character and always hope that they become better, more righteous people.

[BayGBM]

We don't   

 

I love you, dude! 

[Alex23]

I love you, dude! 

you owe me at least a decent lunch & drinks next time I'm up

Hope you had fun at "midway" brother.

[Firemuscle]

 Isn't lipo very common with bodybuilders? From what I understand most pros do it these days.