When my Dad died, i fought in Many Different Disciplines over the years, Started out simple like most in Karate as a Kid, Wrestling, Then Full contact stuff, Boxing, Then Kickboxing, Muay tai etc etc, you get Smashed around that goes with the Discipline win or lose you know that right from the get go, you feel that Hurt more so after-wards like the coming days more Physical than anything in my experience, then its gone, when someone Close to You Dies, Mother, Father, Sister, Brother etc....that is a Totally Different type of Hurt, that alot of us take a real long time to Deal with, Just my 2 cents on the issue but i hear you ND and Coach loud and clear.