Any opinion would be appreciated...

[Original Sin]

I have had a very close male friend for a long time, I would say he is my best friend...
So here is my delimna ...

My friend is seeing two women at the same time.
That alone is the lowest of the low to me but the part that really irks me is that he is telling each one that they are the only woman for him, his soul mate.
All the stuff you say when you are in a truly close and committed relationship.

One of the ladies is a friend of mine, I met her through him but I wouldn't call her a close friend.
She is an amazing caring person and truly naive about love and life in general.  (Religious upbringing)
She spends hours telling me via email, phone calls, texts about how great he is.  She actually told me he is a man without flaws.

I have been keeping silent as I don't feel it is my place to show her what life is about.
If she is going to have the blinders on is it up to me to take them off?

I have called my friend a huge coward and raked his dumb ass over the coals for not being honest with either lady but he says he is just taking what he wants and so are they.

Where should my loyalty lie?  or should loyalty even matter?
Should I just keep minding my own business? 

[Butterbean]

That is a tough one. 

I have a male friend that used to be one of my best friends before we both married other people.  I tried to imagine if he was doing what your friend was doing.

I don't think I would tell on him...seems like he should be the one that should do it.  But like you, I would give him tons of grief and also try to explain what a crappy thing he is doing.  Maybe tell him how infatuated the gal is and see if he can try to imagine himself being in her place....or ask him how he would feel if some guy was doing that to his sister or mother.

When the woman tells you how great he is, I'd probably be silent or say something like, yeah, he can come across that way.

[Butterbean]

  She actually told me he is a man without flaws.

Oh man.

[YoungBlood]

I've been put in this situation many a time with my former band mates. Not fun...but I think in the end (and in a nutshell) the "answer" lies within yourself and how you feel more comfortable living after you've made your decision.

Not saying that my answer is the correct/wrong choice, but I kept my mouth shut. I would rather be pulled into the situation and asked, than seem like I'm intentionally trying to stir the pot. The musicians I know, would be hurt that I say something, insinuate I'm trying to bream them up and sleep with her, and you're branded a snitch. Yet they are the ones that are being unfaithful when it's agreed upon that they are monogamous.
If he/she is breaking an agreement, then I think the person will have to live with themselves and their decision more than you doing what you feel is right. You don't have to fall asleep with that person...only yourself.

[ToxicAvenger]

I have had a very close male friend for a long time, I would say he is my best friend...
So here is my delimna ...

My friend is seeing two women at the same time.
That alone is the lowest of the low to me but the part that really irks me is that he is telling each one that they are the only woman for him, his soul mate.
All the stuff you say when you are in a truly close and committed relationship.

One of the ladies is a friend of mine, I met her through him but I wouldn't call her a close friend.
She is an amazing caring person and truly naive about love and life in general.  (Religious upbringing)
She spends hours telling me via email, phone calls, texts about how great he is.  She actually told me he is a man without flaws.

I have been keeping silent as I don't feel it is my place to show her what life is about.
If she is going to have the blinders on is it up to me to take them off?

I have called my friend a huge coward and raked his dumb ass over the coals for not being honest with either lady but he says he is just taking what he wants and so are they.

Where should my loyalty lie?  or should loyalty even matter?
Should I just keep minding my own business? 

stay out of it.
pick better male friends....it is a reflection of your character....the comopany you keep


a male friend of mine did this once...i cut him out of my loop..

the end

[Migs]

That is a tough one. 

I have a male friend that used to be one of my best friends before we both married other people.  I tried to imagine if he was doing what your friend was doing.

I don't think I would tell on him...seems like he should be the one that should do it.  But like you, I would give him tons of grief and also try to explain what a crappy thing he is doing.  Maybe tell him how infatuated the gal is and see if he can try to imagine himself being in her place....or ask him how he would feel if some guy was doing that to his sister or mother.

When the woman tells you how great he is, I'd probably be silent or say something like, yeah, he can come across that way.

+1

[drkaje]

Bros before hos, OS.

No good ever comes from breaking this rule.

[Original Sin]

Bros before hos, OS.

No good ever comes from breaking this rule.

you calling me a HO?!!! 

Unfortunately I really don't know where I fit this scenario...  I don't think I am a bro, isn't that just a guy thing?

That is a tough one. 


When the woman tells you how great he is, I'd probably be silent or say something like, yeah, he can come across that way.

I am doing that but I just want to reach across the table and smack her into reality

[Butterbean]

I am ding that but I just want to reach across the table and smack her into reality

Do you think if she knew she would get rid of him?

I had a friend whose boyfriend cheated on her all the time.  We would tell her, she would take him back, we would tell her, she would take him back and on and on. 

Finally, we knew about another time and didn't tell her.  What was the point!  When she found out some other way she was angry at us but we just told her we didn't see the need for her to be upset when she would likely then take him back again.   

She got rid of him shortly after that.

[Princess L]

stay out of it.
pick better male friends....it is a reflection of your character....the comopany you keep


a male friend of mine did this once...i cut him out of my loop..

the end

I tend to agree with Toxic on this one, although I was going to say it speaks volumes about your friends character.  I may not drop him like a bad habit, but the fabric of the friendship would definitely be compromised.

[Original Sin]

Do you think if she knew she would get rid of him?

I had a friend whose boyfriend cheated on her all the time.  We would tell her, she would take him back, we would tell her, she would take him back and on and on. 

Finally, we knew about another time and didn't tell her.  What was the point!  When she found out some other way she was angry at us but we just told her we didn't see the need for her to be upset when she would likely then take him back again.   

She got rid of him shortly after that.

You know I am not sure if she would take him back.
Most likely she would , any woman who says a man has no faults is used to lying to herself.


This does put a different spin on the thing for me... Thank You

I tend to agree with Toxic on this one, although I was going to say it speaks volumes about your friends character.  I may not drop him like a bad habit, but the fabric of the friendship would definitely be compromised.

Yes, the friendship has changed, although he doesn't see it.

Maybe I should just seduce him  and then let them deal with that.
Having a common enemy may be good for them 

[drkaje]

you calling me a HO?!!! 

Unfortunately I really don't know where I fit this scenario...  I don't think I am a bro, isn't that just a guy thing?

I am doing that but I just want to reach across the table and smack her into reality

You're his 'bro' now.

There are rules to this game that can't be broken. Feeling sympathy for people stupid enough to get played is a violation of the bro code.

Article 1: Bros before hoes.

[Migs]

Maybe I should just seduce him  and then let them deal with that.
Having a common enemy may be good for them 

not a good idea

[tonymctones]

i think you should into account if you do tell her then it could very well end your relationship with him. What he is doing is shitty and is what gives good guys bad reps, that women will more then likely carry around baggage for a while b/c of this dude. Ive had and shoot have friends that cheat on their g/f's and have honestly never told on them, ive stressed that they should break up with their g/f though. You said that his response to you saying something is that he is just getting what he wants and so are they. That doesnt make sense to me at all, they arent getting what they want at all if they believe they are monogamous maybe you should stress that point to him. Im ok with not being in a monogamous relationship but you should tell the other person thats the case not say one thing and do another.

[Andy Griffin]

I have had a very close male friend for a long time, I would say he is my best friend...
So here is my delimna ...

My friend is seeing two women at the same time.
That alone is the lowest of the low to me but the part that really irks me is that he is telling each one that they are the only woman for him, his soul mate.
All the stuff you say when you are in a truly close and committed relationship.

One of the ladies is a friend of mine, I met her through him but I wouldn't call her a close friend.
She is an amazing caring person and truly naive about love and life in general.  (Religious upbringing)
She spends hours telling me via email, phone calls, texts about how great he is.  She actually told me he is a man without flaws.

I have been keeping silent as I don't feel it is my place to show her what life is about.
If she is going to have the blinders on is it up to me to take them off?

I have called my friend a huge coward and raked his dumb ass over the coals for not being honest with either lady but he says he is just taking what he wants and so are they.

Where should my loyalty lie?  or should loyalty even matter?
Should I just keep minding my own business? 

Very tough call.  How would you feel if this situation got out of hand?  For example, suppose both ladies found themselves with an unplanned new life inside them?  Or if one of them found out about the other and the situation got violent?  If your lady friend found out that you knew all along, wouldn't that destroy your relationship? 

I realize no one is perfect, but do you really want to be known as a friend of someone who acts the way your male friend is acting? 

On the other hand, do you not give your male friend the chance to discover the right path for himself?  Is there still time for him to "do the right thing" ?  How do you balance between "supporting" and "enabling" ?

Bear in mind, I am not attempting to answer these questions for you.  I am just humbly posing some questions for you to consider as you look into your heart for a decision.

[Original Sin]

I have pretty much decided I am going to just castrate him...That should solve it!! 

[drkaje]

I have pretty much decided I am going to just castrate him...That should solve it!! 

Article 1, OS.

Accepting bro status means living with the code.

[Original Sin]

Article 1, OS.

Accepting bro status means living with the code.

Well that is a sucky rule!

Where are the perks?

Its more fun being the Ho 

[Migs]

Well that is a sucky rule!

Where are the perks?

Its more fun being the Ho 

there's a surprise...




 

[Original Sin]

there's a surprise...




 

Okay that's IT!  IT is SO ON now!!   

I am flying down to Atlanta...
You and I in the Octagon!!!   

My choice of ring attire
How do you look in a thong! 


 

[Migs]

Okay that's IT!  IT is SO ON now!!   

I am flying down to Atlanta...
You and I in the Octagon!!!   

My choice of ring attire
How do you look in a thong! 


 

So, you are going to mount me!  Here I thought you actually meant Canadian women were far too educated.  GIT R DONE!

[benz]

I have had a very close male friend for a long time, I would say he is my best friend...
So here is my delimna ...

My friend is seeing two women at the same time.
That alone is the lowest of the low to me but the part that really irks me is that he is telling each one that they are the only woman for him, his soul mate.
All the stuff you say when you are in a truly close and committed relationship.

One of the ladies is a friend of mine, I met her through him but I wouldn't call her a close friend.
She is an amazing caring person and truly naive about love and life in general.  (Religious upbringing)
She spends hours telling me via email, phone calls, texts about how great he is.  She actually told me he is a man without flaws.

I have been keeping silent as I don't feel it is my place to show her what life is about.
If she is going to have the blinders on is it up to me to take them off?

I have called my friend a huge coward and raked his dumb ass over the coals for not being honest with either lady but he says he is just taking what he wants and so are they.

Where should my loyalty lie?  or should loyalty even matter?
Should I just keep minding my own business? 

fuck loyalty, in the end when involved people find out, you will be blamed

[Original Sin]

So, you are going to mount me!  Here I thought you actually meant Canadian women were far too educated.  GIT R DONE!

Point for you!
I have no worthy comeback 

Now I am just going to crawl into a fetal position and cry under my desk 

fuck loyalty, in the end when involved people find out, you will be blamed

Yeah I can see that happening...
But at least he can't blame me as I have confronted him about my feelings already.

[Original Sin]

Article 1, OS.

Accepting bro status means living with the code.

Bro status ruling required...

So down the road when all this settles and if he doesn't get married
can one sleep with a Bro?

[Migs]

Point for you!
I have no worthy comeback 

Now I am just going to crawl into a fetal position and cry under my desk 

damn it, why do women always do that when I tell them that.