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Getbig Female Info Boards => Open Talk for Girl Discussion => Topic started by: DIVISION on December 01, 2006, 08:46:20 PM
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(Prelude: Broke up with girlfriend two weeks ago)
...one of the girls who works at the front counter of the gym has been subtely flirting with me.
I didn't realize it at first because I wasn't paying attention. She started by trying to start conversations when I'd come in to work. I kind of brushed it off because I thought she was too young (19) and chalked it up to a teenage girl just flirting randomly. So, time passes and then I notice she starts giving me the "peering curiously in to my eyes" when I come in treatment. Even then I didn't pick that up or what it meant until the third or so time she did it.
So just out of curiousity's sake, I stopped to talk with her one day after a workout and found that she was quite intruiging. Not your typical nineteen year old by any means. Growing up without a father, she'd grown independant and headstrong and I liked her sense of honesty. She also was very real about relationships, detailing the fact that she'd been the "male" in every relationship she'd been in prior, which surprised me simply because most girls that age don't even realize role reversals at that age.
She also detailed her last relationship and how she used the guy for financial security culminating with his callow attempt at trying to keep her around after she'd decided to break up with him by trying to bribe her.
All of this really was amazing to hear, the honesty, the reality...
She obviously is interested and guaging my interest, but I'm hesistant to get involved with someone so young.
I tend to think she's looking for someone older because all her past relationships were with younger guys who lacked maturity.
I would appreciate some female perspective on this.
What does she want and how do you think I should proceed?
I know what I think, but I'm needing outside opinion here.
Thanks in advance. ;)
DIV
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proceed with caution....
a girl who grows up without a father usually looks for a father figure in her significant other... according to my shrink
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Honestly Div, ...I don't think it's so much about what she wants, ...as much as it is about what you need.
You are subconsciously viewing this as an opportunity, a real challenge to DOMINATE this wild young filly.
Your only quandary is her age, ...but at the same time, despite her young age, ...she DOES present a bit of a challenge to you. I say... deal with your demons before looking for a new girlfriend. ;)
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Honestly Div, ...I don't think it's so much about what she wants, ...as much as it is about what you need.
You are subconsciously viewing this as an opportunity, a real challenge to DOMINATE this wild young filly.
Your only quandary is her age, ...but at the same time, despite her young age, ...she DOES present a bit of a challenge to you. I say... deal with your demons before looking for a new girlfriend. ;)
jag,
It's not my intention to dominate her, but perhaps only to get to know her better to see what she's about. Based on what I've seen, she seems interesting and definitely intelligent. She's independant as well, which is nice and we're both Taurus's and share some of the obvious common qualities of such. Not that I necessarily buy in to astrology, but it was pretty evident that we are similar on some things...
What are my demons?
If she doesn't want anything, why the eyes?
She goes out of her way to do this.
DIV
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Div, you have to stop trying to analyze every situation you have with a female. Stop taking so much time trying to figure out why and start just living life. If you like her (don't know your age) and she isn't too young for you...ask her out, spend some time getting to "know" her as opposed to trying to "read" her.
Dude...ya gotta let go of that. People are people, and not always methodical. ;)
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Div, you have to stop trying to analyze every situation you have with a female. Stop taking so much time trying to figure out why and start just living life. If you like her (don't know your age) and she isn't too young for you...ask her out, spend some time getting to "know" her as opposed to trying to "read" her.
Dude...ya gotta let go of that. People are people, and not always methodical. ;)
Laura,
It's my nature and I realize it can be a bit much, but I can't just stop doing it.
That's how my mind works, very clinical....
I understand what you're saying and I wish sometimes I could block off that filter, but it's impossible.
You're right, though, it might make some things easier if I could just live instead of reading.
DIV
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Just take her out to dinner and have a good time.......(shrugs)
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fatal attraction.
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I overanalyze stuff the way you describe. I would just go for it and the worst that can happen is it does pan out and you are out some money for a date.
I'm not worried about rejection or anything, cappie....
I think she has potential and I'm just mulling it over.
DIV
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Maybe quit analyzing it, not everyones intentions show through,she might just be all talk anyways.
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Hit it .
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hit it and quite it
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hit it and quite it
hahahaha I posted that then decided to edit out the quit it part. ;D
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hit it and quite it
hmmm... :-\
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hit it and quite it
hump it and dump it
;)
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(Prelude: Broke up with girlfriend two weeks ago)
She also detailed her last relationship and how she used the guy for financial security culminating with his callow attempt at trying to keep her around after she'd decided to break up with him by trying to bribe her.
All of this really was amazing to hear, the honesty, the reality...
She obviously is interested and guaging my interest,
DIV
She does appear to be amazing! Plus, her knowing instinctively that she was the male in all of her relationships up to the age of 19... seems like she's a very perceptive, intuitive kind of girl. Miggy, Gtbro1 and Faust are wise men.
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hit it and quite it
is that quiet did ya say?
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is that quiet did ya say?
I think he meant, hit it then quite quietly, quit it. Not often you get a "q" alliteration to work.
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i'm the typo king. FEAR ME!
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typo king.
love it (the situation, that is
x
and I love spelling funny.
it's a wonderful language we have.
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hit it and quite it
I'm not that type of guy, Miggy.
I can meet it, get to know it and if I like it, have a relationship with it.......but I can't simply hit it and quit it.
Besides.....I have to like it before I'd ever think about hitting it.
The "it" being her as a woman, mind you.
DIV
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Miggy is probably one of the most honorable men alive in our world today. When he says hit it and quit it, that more than likely translates into she don't sound like a keeper.
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Miggy is probably one of the most honorable men alive in our world today. When he says hit it and quit it, that more than likely translates into she don't sound like a keeper.
Miggy is probably right.
What I found interesting is that this girl detailed how she used the last guy for financial security, even though she was flirting with me.
What does it say about a girl who admits what she did in her last relationship to a potential suitor?
There's something so enlightening in that type of honesty.
I told her that it was selfish of her to use him and we discussed it openly so she has to know that I wouldn't allow her to use me.
The brutal honestly is nice.
I wish women were like that more often.
DIV
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Miggy is probably right.
What I found interesting is that this girl detailed how she used the last guy for financial security, even though she was flirting with me.
??? What's so unusual about that? Lots of girls who want to be taken care of financially make no bones about making it quite clear. It cuts out a lot of legwork and research time. Admittedly, most are probably better at it than your example.
I told her that it was selfish of her to use him and we discussed it openly so she has to know that I wouldn't allow her to use me.
Either that, or she's just wondering how far she can go, and feeling you out. Maybe she sees you find her "brutal honesty" refreshing and so that's the way to play it. After some hot sex and brutally honest convos, who knows, maybe you'll be paying her rent too. She sounds needy. Needy people are leeches one way or another. And anyone who spills their guts and talks about what a shit they were to the last guy/girl, openly to someone they've never really spoken to before (at least, that's how you describe it), can't really have much dignity imo.
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y'all ever hear the saying 'don't sh*t where you eat'?
be careful getting involved w/somebody who works at your gym. if it goes bad, it could go real bad. last thing you want is to have to find another gym because the girl goes psycho on you for not being able/willing to be her daddy figure. proceed with caution on this one.
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Is her honesty for the sake of being honest? Or is it a tool in her game?
I wouldn't bite the bait on this one so quickly unless you are simply curious as to what lies behind this door and want the experience tattooed on your memory banks.
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She sounds like a gold digger.
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??? What's so unusual about that? Lots of girls who want to be taken care of financially make no bones about making it quite clear. It cuts out a lot of legwork and research time. Admittedly, most are probably better at it than your example.
Either that, or she's just wondering how far she can go, and feeling you out. Maybe she sees you find her "brutal honesty" refreshing and so that's the way to play it. After some hot sex and brutally honest convos, who knows, maybe you'll be paying her rent too. She sounds needy. Needy people are leeches one way or another. And anyone who spills their guts and talks about what a shit they were to the last guy/girl, openly to someone they've never really spoken to before (at least, that's how you describe it), can't really have much dignity imo.
You make some good points, deedee, but sex would not happen unless I'm sure she's relationship material. I'm not like most men and my willpower is over the top. I've refused sex with women before, and will again, I'm sure.
She's not needy, don't get that impression from her at all. Besides, after the conversation she had with me and what I revealed about her personality/mentality, she has to know that she'd never get away with that behaviour if she was with me.
I dabbled in all areas, from her lack of a father figure, to her tendency to choose weak men, right down to her music tastes and future goals and such. All across the spectrum and the kind of conversation you don't really have with someone you've just met unless you are wanting to reveal that type of information. I suppose I just come from a different angle because I'm not trying to pick her up. No games.
I'll probably get her number and talk to her, just out of curiousity.
She is the type of girl that would whip a younger male, which is probably why she is looking older.
An older guy won't put up with the bullshit games and those boundaries are probably what she is looking for from a man.
y'all ever hear the saying 'don't sh*t where you eat'?
be careful getting involved w/somebody who works at your gym. if it goes bad, it could go real bad. last thing you want is to have to find another gym because the girl goes psycho on you for not being able/willing to be her daddy figure. proceed with caution on this one.
^Yes, barbelle, and this is the MAIN reason I am hesitant about talking to her at all. I don't need the repercussions.
Is her honesty for the sake of being honest? Or is it a tool in her game?
I wouldn't bite the bait on this one so quickly unless you are simply curious as to what lies behind this door and want the experience tattooed on your memory banks.
I don't know, Jodi.
On some level, she's been very honest, even about her flaws.
If she's that devious, it could be part of her game.
I take people at their word until they give me a reason not to.
You really think I'd be making a mistake in talking to her?
I'm not stupid, Ms. Miller....
If I see peripherals that don't vibe with me, I wouldn't hesitate to cut her loose......totally.
DIV
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I don't know, Division. It's my gut instinct. I am a very upfront person as well when I date a guy. I don't hide anything about my personality or habits or decisions or history, but I also haven't gone out with someone for any other purpose than because I was interested in him for personality and/or looks. I have never dated anyone because of what he could "do" for me (financially, career wise, etc.).
Like I said, if you want to see what's behind the door, go for it. Last time I chose to do that...well, you know part of that story. I don't have any regrets because while it was the most inspiring time, it definitely was also the most painful experience I've ever had.
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I don't know, Division. It's my gut instinct. I am a very upfront person as well when I date a guy. I don't hide anything about my personality or habits or decisions or history, but I also haven't gone out with someone for any other purpose than because I was interested in him for personality and/or looks. I have never dated anyone because of what he could "do" for me (financially, career wise, etc.).
Like I said, if you want to see what's behind the door, go for it. Last time I chose to do that...well, you know part of that story. I don't have any regrets because while it was the most inspiring time, it definitely was also the most painful experience I've ever had.
You're probably right, Ms. Miller.....
You're probably right on all counts.
The bitch is probably trouble.
Perhaps the only thing behind that door is my devil's advocate tempting fate.
DIV
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You're probably right, Ms. Miller.....
You're probably right on all counts.
The bitch is probably trouble.
Perhaps the only thing behind that door is my devil's advocate tempting fate.
DIV
:-\
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He was probably refering to her pocket dog...
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He was probably refering to her pocket dog...
gotcha. Thanks for clarifying. :)
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Miggy is probably right.
What I found interesting is that this girl detailed how she used the last guy for financial security, even though she was flirting with me.
What does it say about a girl who admits what she did in her last relationship to a potential suitor?
There's something so enlightening in that type of honesty.
I told her that it was selfish of her to use him and we discussed it openly so she has to know that I wouldn't allow her to use me.
The brutal honestly is nice.
I wish women were like that more often.
DIV
Hey Div...
The fact that she openly stated that she used her last beau for financial security should tell you everything you need to know. She is a user. She used him for cash and she'll do the same to you. Plus she is a serial flirter. Its like your other post, "Sometimes honesty isn't always the best policy". Had she not told you this she would've been tougher to spot. Would you want your main squeeze using your for a financial blanket while flirting with other men? I sure as hell wouldn't. I agree with the other guys. If anything, hit it and move on. There are better women on the market. Don't settle for anything less. She is definately not worth your time or aggravation.
PB
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Hey Div...
The fact that she openly stated that she used her last beau for financial security should tell you everything you need to know. She is a user. She used him for cash and she'll do the same to you. Plus she is a serial flirter. Its like your other post, "Sometimes honesty isn't always the best policy". Had she not told you this she would've been tougher to spot. Would you want your main squeeze using your for a financial blanket while flirting with other men? I sure as hell wouldn't. I agree with the other guys. If anything, hit it and move on. There are better women on the market. Don't settle for anything less. She is definately not worth your time or aggravation.
I appreciate the concern, PB.
However, she can't use me because I have nothing to use...
I'm not rich, and I won't drive her around everywhere either.
I talked with her today and the thing is, with her ex, she told him straight up that it was over but he keeps coming around like a whipped dog. He even brings her food at work, despite the fact that she doesn't talk or meet with him, nor take his phone calls. The guy is whipped and he still thinks he has a chance with her.
He's only 20, so he got sprung on her and now he can't let go....
Now I understand what she meant when she said she was the "male" in all her relationships.
I'm not worried either way, bro.
She sounds interesting, but we'll see what the future holds.
All I can do is be real and honest and everything else will work itself out.
I'll keep you updated, though....
DIV