Author Topic: The Situation... (Read 5436 times)

DIVISION · « **on:** December 01, 2006, 08:46:20 PM »

(Prelude: Broke up with girlfriend two weeks ago)

...one of the girls who works at the front counter of the gym has been subtely flirting with me.

I didn't realize it at first because I wasn't paying attention. She started by trying to start conversations when I'd come in to work. I kind of brushed it off because I thought she was too young (19) and chalked it up to a teenage girl just flirting randomly. So, time passes and then I notice she starts giving me the "peering curiously in to my eyes" when I come in treatment. Even then I didn't pick that up or what it meant until the third or so time she did it.

So just out of curiousity's sake, I stopped to talk with her one day after a workout and found that she was quite intruiging. Not your typical nineteen year old by any means. Growing up without a father, she'd grown independant and headstrong and I liked her sense of honesty. She also was very real about relationships, detailing the fact that she'd been the "male" in every relationship she'd been in prior, which surprised me simply because most girls that age don't even realize role reversals at that age.

She also detailed her last relationship and how she used the guy for financial security culminating with his callow attempt at trying to keep her around after she'd decided to break up with him by trying to bribe her.

All of this really was amazing to hear, the honesty, the reality...

She obviously is interested and guaging my interest, but I'm hesistant to get involved with someone so young.

I tend to think she's looking for someone older because all her past relationships were with younger guys who lacked maturity.

I would appreciate some female perspective on this.

What does she want and how do you think I should proceed?

I know what I think, but I'm needing outside opinion here.

Thanks in advance.

DIV

NeverTrustABlonde · « **Reply #1 on:** December 01, 2006, 09:49:18 PM »

proceed with caution....

a girl who grows up without a father usually looks for a father figure in her significant other... according to my shrink

24KT · « **Reply #2 on:** December 01, 2006, 10:40:31 PM »

Honestly Div, ...I don't think it's so much about what she wants, ...as much as it is about what you need.
You are subconsciously viewing this as an opportunity, a real challenge to DOMINATE this wild young filly.
Your only quandary is her age, ...but at the same time, despite her young age, ...she DOES present a bit of a challenge to you. I say... deal with your demons before looking for a new girlfriend.

DIVISION · « **Reply #3 on:** December 02, 2006, 06:44:57 AM »

Quote from: jaguarenterprises on December 01, 2006, 10:40:31 PM

Honestly Div, ...I don't think it's so much about what she wants, ...as much as it is about what you need.
You are subconsciously viewing this as an opportunity, a real challenge to DOMINATE this wild young filly.
Your only quandary is her age, ...but at the same time, despite her young age, ...she DOES present a bit of a challenge to you. I say... deal with your demons before looking for a new girlfriend.

jag,

It's not my intention to dominate her, but perhaps only to get to know her better to see what she's about. Based on what I've seen, she seems interesting and definitely intelligent. She's independant as well, which is nice and we're both Taurus's and share some of the obvious common qualities of such. Not that I necessarily buy in to astrology, but it was pretty evident that we are similar on some things...

What are my demons?

If she doesn't want anything, why the eyes?

She goes out of her way to do this.

DIV

Laura Lee · « **Reply #4 on:** December 02, 2006, 06:55:59 AM »

Div, you have to stop trying to analyze every situation you have with a female. Stop taking so much time trying to figure out why and start just living life. If you like her (don't know your age) and she isn't too young for you...ask her out, spend some time getting to "know" her as opposed to trying to "read" her.

Dude...ya gotta let go of that. People are people, and not always methodical.

DIVISION · « **Reply #5 on:** December 02, 2006, 10:12:27 AM »

Quote from: Cheri Lane on December 02, 2006, 06:55:59 AM

Div, you have to stop trying to analyze every situation you have with a female. Stop taking so much time trying to figure out why and start just living life. If you like her (don't know your age) and she isn't too young for you...ask her out, spend some time getting to "know" her as opposed to trying to "read" her.

Dude...ya gotta let go of that. People are people, and not always methodical.

Laura,

It's my nature and I realize it can be a bit much, but I can't just stop doing it.

That's how my mind works, very clinical....

I understand what you're saying and I wish sometimes I could block off that filter, but it's impossible.

You're right, though, it might make some things easier if I could just live instead of reading.

DIV

GET_BIGGER · « **Reply #6 on:** December 02, 2006, 03:44:42 PM »

Just take her out to dinner and have a good time.......(shrugs)

az · « **Reply #7 on:** December 02, 2006, 04:48:55 PM »

fatal attraction.

DIVISION · « **Reply #8 on:** December 02, 2006, 09:07:27 PM »

Quote from: cap86 on December 02, 2006, 03:45:36 PM

I overanalyze stuff the way you describe. I would just go for it and the worst that can happen is it does pan out and you are out some money for a date.

I'm not worried about rejection or anything, cappie....

I think she has potential and I'm just mulling it over.

DIV

youandme · « **Reply #9 on:** December 02, 2006, 09:23:54 PM »

Maybe quit analyzing it, not everyones intentions show through,she might just be all talk anyways.

gtbro1 · « **Reply #10 on:** December 02, 2006, 09:28:46 PM »

Hit it .

Migs · « **Reply #11 on:** December 02, 2006, 09:48:40 PM »

hit it and quite it

gtbro1 · « **Reply #12 on:** December 02, 2006, 10:05:12 PM »

Quote from: Migs on December 02, 2006, 09:48:40 PM

hit it and quite it

hahahaha I posted that then decided to edit out the quit it part.

24KT · « **Reply #13 on:** December 03, 2006, 05:17:04 AM »

Quote from: Migs on December 02, 2006, 09:48:40 PM

hit it and quite it

hmmm... $:-\$

Faust · « **Reply #14 on:** December 03, 2006, 05:34:21 AM »

Quote from: Migs on December 02, 2006, 09:48:40 PM

hit it and quite it

hump it and dump it

Deedee · « **Reply #15 on:** December 03, 2006, 06:45:07 AM »

Quote from: DIVISION on December 01, 2006, 08:46:20 PM

(Prelude: Broke up with girlfriend two weeks ago)
She also detailed her last relationship and how she used the guy for financial security culminating with his callow attempt at trying to keep her around after she'd decided to break up with him by trying to bribe her.

All of this really was amazing to hear, the honesty, the reality...

She obviously is interested and guaging my interest,
DIV

She does appear to be amazing! Plus, her knowing instinctively that she was the male in all of her relationships up to the age of 19... seems like she's a very perceptive, intuitive kind of girl. Miggy, Gtbro1 and Faust are wise men.

xxxLinda · « **Reply #16 on:** December 03, 2006, 06:50:34 AM »

Quote from: Migs on December 02, 2006, 09:48:40 PM

hit it and quite it

is that quiet did ya say?

Deedee · « **Reply #17 on:** December 03, 2006, 06:54:46 AM »

Quote from: xxxLinda on December 03, 2006, 06:50:34 AM

is that quiet did ya say?

I think he meant, hit it then quite quietly, quit it. Not often you get a "q" alliteration to work.

Migs · « **Reply #18 on:** December 03, 2006, 07:08:11 AM »

i'm the typo king. FEAR ME!

xxxLinda · « **Reply #19 on:** December 03, 2006, 07:14:00 AM »

Quote from: Migs on December 03, 2006, 07:08:11 AM

typo king.

love it (the situation, that is

x

and I love spelling funny.
it's a wonderful language we have.

DIVISION · « **Reply #20 on:** December 03, 2006, 08:39:10 AM »

Quote from: Migs on December 02, 2006, 09:48:40 PM

hit it and quite it

I'm not that type of guy, Miggy.

I can meet it, get to know it and if I like it, have a relationship with it.......but I can't simply hit it and quit it.

Besides.....I have to like it before I'd ever think about hitting it.

The "it" being her as a woman, mind you.

DIV

Deedee · « **Reply #21 on:** December 03, 2006, 08:50:40 AM »

Miggy is probably one of the most honorable men alive in our world today. When he says hit it and quit it, that more than likely translates into she don't sound like a keeper.

DIVISION · « **Reply #22 on:** December 03, 2006, 09:06:47 AM »

Quote from: Deedee on December 03, 2006, 08:50:40 AM

Miggy is probably one of the most honorable men alive in our world today. When he says hit it and quit it, that more than likely translates into she don't sound like a keeper.

Miggy is probably right.

What I found interesting is that this girl detailed how she used the last guy for financial security, even though she was flirting with me.

What does it say about a girl who admits what she did in her last relationship to a potential suitor?

There's something so enlightening in that type of honesty.

I told her that it was selfish of her to use him and we discussed it openly so she has to know that I wouldn't allow her to use me.

The brutal honestly is nice.

I wish women were like that more often.

DIV

Deedee · « **Reply #23 on:** December 03, 2006, 09:24:03 AM »

Quote from: DIVISION on December 03, 2006, 09:06:47 AM

Miggy is probably right.

What I found interesting is that this girl detailed how she used the last guy for financial security, even though she was flirting with me.

What's so unusual about that? Lots of girls who want to be taken care of financially make no bones about making it quite clear. It cuts out a lot of legwork and research time. Admittedly, most are probably better at it than your example.

Quote

I told her that it was selfish of her to use him and we discussed it openly so she has to know that I wouldn't allow her to use me.

Either that, or she's just wondering how far she can go, and feeling you out. Maybe she sees you find her "brutal honesty" refreshing and so that's the way to play it. After some hot sex and brutally honest convos, who knows, maybe you'll be paying her rent too. She sounds needy. Needy people are leeches one way or another. And anyone who spills their guts and talks about what a shit they were to the last guy/girl, openly to someone they've never really spoken to before (at least, that's how you describe it), can't really have much dignity imo.

msbarbelle · « **Reply #24 on:** December 03, 2006, 11:54:40 AM »

y'all ever hear the saying 'don't sh*t where you eat'?
be careful getting involved w/somebody who works at your gym. if it goes bad, it could go real bad. last thing you want is to have to find another gym because the girl goes psycho on you for not being able/willing to be her daddy figure. proceed with caution on this one.