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Getbig Female Info Boards => Open Talk for Girl Discussion => Topic started by: xxxLinda on December 04, 2006, 11:54:08 AM
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This guy is 6' with a body to kill for (yoga at 6am etc.). He wears white sheets and carries all his wordly goods (books and cooking pots and more white sheets and towels) tied up in another sheet, on his back.
He's about my age and keeps coming to visit me. He talks all spiritual. My girlfriends call him salami and warn me that he's not genuine and that I should watch out.
He's got very long greyish/black and white hair and a wispy beard which is wierd (I can get past the clothing but not the facial hair... He has incredible eyes and perfect teeth.
I'm fairly certain he's coming on to me but what ought I do? This is the truth. One girlfriend said he's definitely trying it on and that there are tons of bogus swamis.
What do you think? His body turns me on like I've never felt before. It's funny, no? Last 5 times he visited me I was all pure and sweet, but he keeps kissing and hugging me, which makes all of whatever it is that you call it he wears fall about and I get to see his chest and thighs. It's wrong of me to think of him that way though.
Today I gave him the bus fare to get to Shepherd's Bush (it's against his religion to have money) and then he invited himself here for Christmas. I said I've made no plans yet.
Last time I was home when he visited me was Bonfire Night, November 5th, not this year, last year. He decided to spend the night and said, when I said will you help me pull out the spare futon, "but you've got that big double bed". I still pulled out the spare bed for him. I had the most amazing erotic dreams all night and wondered whether he was sending them to me from the other room.
He's fun to be with, has a great sense of humour. I feel flattered, but confused. I thought that when my guru showed up, he'd just teach me about life, not attempt to get me into bed.
x
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Your story is very well-written xxxLinda. Sometimes your dry sense of humor really shines through.
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ta deeds. but this is another too true story. I'm confused. I thought swami's were like god or something. How did he find me? He keeps coming to me in my dreams, I've dreamt of him at least 20 times this last year. After he left today someone I don't know delivered nice vegi food to my door, from him.
x
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Did you accept the food... was it the pizza delivery guy? Out of curiosity... have been to London many times, but don't know this... do Londoners order pizza at home? Or is it mostly take-out? Do Indian restaurants deliver in London?
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oh yeah ! one of my favourites is getting an Indian delivered, or a takeaway.
But the pizza is totally crap in this country, they can't do proper crust and they don't have fresh ingredients. The boys on the scooters are sometimes hot looking though.
xL
but back to my query: what ought I do about my swami? pray with him?
I don't think I'll be able to back away and say no politely next time.
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Well, I know AN Indian has been delivering himself to you as this was the subject matter of your story... I meant the cuisine.
Normally I stick around Soho and central London since I go for work, but did once get to spend two weeks at a girlfriend's place in Camden. I remember going into the study at one point to use the phone, and came across the rudest, most hurtful rejection letter I've ever seen in my life. Londoners can be brutal people! Also got on the train once and traveled to Lewes... saw Anne of Cleves' divorce settlement home. You're lucky to live in a place so dense with history...
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yep, I'm LuckyLinda
xxx
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He sounds lovely xxxLinda. Why not fall into his arms next time? What's there to lose... and he seems to care for you?
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I think I've decided that's what I'll do.
call me Linda, the xxx bit is for show and I couldn't log in as just Linda, so I did the x's.
I can chalk it up to experience. The guy is the fittest man I've ever seen. But he wears white sheets...
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Do swami's wear condoms?
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Perhaps he is well-versed in the art of Kamasutram. :D
Serious question: I'm guessing it's chilly in London these days. So he mustn't be wearing sandals. Does he wear a turtleneck under the robe and doc martens? That's how I'm picturing him. I'm sure he would wear a condom...
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Perhaps he is well-versed in the art of Kamasutram. :D
Serious question: I'm guessing it's chilly in London these days. So he mustn't be wearing sandals. Does he wear a turtleneck under the robe and doc martens? That's how I'm picturing him. I'm sure he would wear a condom...
sex is against his religion, he's kidding me right?
no, he wears nothing but what I gave him to wear last year. Cotton sheets. I gave him a really gorgeous flannelette (thick brushed cotton) one. He had to rip all the seams off as he cannot wear anything with stiches.
It's getting chilly, yes, but it's still wonderful sunny shiney in the daytime.
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and yes, he wears hand made stupid sandals. And he has beautiful feet. I'm cracking up, laughing out loud.
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Perhaps he is well-versed in the art of the Kamasutra.
serious/silly answer: that's what I can't stop thinking about...
x
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this thread = what the hizznet ???
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this thread = what the hizznet ???
no comprendo what you say STella. What's hizznet?
this thread is the honest truth
my life, by Linda
xxx
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this thread = what the hizznet ???
It's a surrealist masterpiece... :)
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serious/silly answer: that's what I can't stop thinking about...
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I would be thinking of that too if a gorgeous and fit 6' swami came to me in my dreams. That, and his beautiful feet.
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It's a surrealist masterpiece... :)
ta deedee, that's so so so funny. I have a silly lateral sideways lisp and cannot say surrealist or masterpiece!
x
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Oh well, I'm sure your lisp is charming. I said surrealist because we were interpreting your dream. It was kind of you to sacrifice your sheets for his comfort.
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The guy is the fittest man I've ever seen. But he wears white sheets...
Well as long as he wears them on his back, ...and not over his head, he's ok in my books. {lol}
Maybe he can teach you to meditate, ...ya know, ...find that quiet place within. it's worth a try. :)
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this thread = what the hizznet ???
Agreed.
PB
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Agreed.
PB
oh please translate hiznett for me? I don't get out much.
x
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Well as long as he wears them on his back, ...and not over his head, he's ok in my books. {lol}
Maybe he can teach you to meditate, ...ya know, ...find that quiet place within. it's worth a try. :)
But he does judi. When he cleans the house or cooks food, he takes off the sheet he wears around his shoulders and puts it over his hair. And then he's half naked. & as I've said, he has the best male bod I've ever seen (in person... + I've seen and done some fab ones.
I think I've gone off him. Too exotic. I asked him to teach me how to meditate properly and he went on my internet. When I came back 5 mins later he was on a porn site.
xxx
I took photos.
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i think i figured out hizznet. That's a his and hers thing, no?
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or that sheet he puts over his head.
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sorry for multiple posting...
remind me to log out always from now on in case he hits my history button and finds this thread. it's embarassing!
x
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ommmmmmmmmmmmm
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sorry for multiple posting...
remind me to log out always from now on in case he hits my history button and finds this thread. it's embarassing!
x
Did he sleep on the futon last night?
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Did he sleep on the futon last night?
nope, I told you, I gave him the £1.50 for the bus fare to the Bush. He said he was going to walk there (wearing two sheets and dodgy sandals in the rain carrying everything he owns... It's a 30 min cycle ride for me so I can't imagine how long it would have taken him to walk there. I'm happy I was able to give him the bus fare.
Then the mystery (yummy, I ate it) food arrived after he left.
I've decided I don't want him to come back. I'm still decorating my other room and everything is all over the place. I got my new venetian blinds kinda up, which means I can again see out without them seeing me. I now can see who is ringing my doorbell.
etc.
Linda
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I'm going to Saffron Walden Essex (near Cambridge) , where I grew up, before I emigrated to Canada, for the weekend to see my oldest bestest friend. So I'm extremely happy and won't be here anyway. Don't tell the crackhead burgulars?
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I'm going to Essex, where I grew up, before I emigrated to Canada, for the weekend to see my oldest bestest friend, so I'm extremely happy and won't be here anyway. Don't tell the crackhead burgulars?
Don't forget your address was allegedly posted here once.
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Don't forget your address was allegedly posted here once.
and you or someone immediately deleted it. That was the night tingnting got put into timeout. It's okay, thanks for caring STella.
& noone can break down my door now, it's superduper new.
kisses
there's nothing worth stealing in here anyways. My iMac is 7 years old and heavy.
If I'm away, I'm most probably safer than being here. that's how come I'm looking so forward to going to the countryside to see my old mate. It's her birthday, she's a few months older than me so hits the big one before me and I enjoy laughing with her about our age. I've known her since I was 7.
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Linda, I think we're both Pisces... if so, we must be kindred spirits. :) I'm February... are you close?
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Linda, I think we're both Pisces... if so, we must be kindred spirits. :) I'm February... are you close?
Feb 21, (cuspy) but I'm not telling you which year, you wouldn't believe me if I did...
Pisces are supposed to be the oldest souls and have been everything else. We're dreamers and empathise, or something. I always say I'm in my last incarnation.
(That's a gardening joke
xxx
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I'm only a week after you Linda... we'll have to wish each other happy cyber birthday in a few months!
True, Pisces are supposed to be the oldest souls. And as they say, Pisces, the shimmering fish, can see both sides clearly, but never straight ahead. Unlike you, I think I have a few more incarnations to go... next stop for you, Nirvana?
No wonder you're entertaining the buff guru...
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. next stop for you, Nirvana?
No wonder you're entertaining the buff guru...
no, i told you, i'm not going there.
But I had nirvana playing scrabble once. honest. I took a photo.
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>>>modification: I'm not hugging the swami again, I can feel all his bits when he squishes me and it's scary. I'll do nirvana though, ok?
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I'm only a week after you Linda... we'll have to wish each other happy cyber birthday in a few months!
True, Pisces are supposed to be the oldest souls. And as they say, Pisces, the shimmering fish, can see both sides clearly, but never straight ahead. Unlike you, I think I have a few more incarnations to go... next stop for you, Nirvana?
No wonder you're entertaining the buff guru...
Were you a leap year baby? I was supposed to be, but came a week early in the middle of a blizzard.
x
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Were you a leap year baby? I was supposed to be, but came a week early in the middle of a blizzard.
x
No, thankfully. I wouldn't have liked that, shifting birth dates all the time. Weren't you born in the UK... pretty unusual weather for that part of the world? Usually it's just damp and cold and grey, isn't it? Must have been the Angels announcing your arrival. (At least, that's the way I'd be working it! :)).
PS Did you know that the date March Fourth is the only calendar day that is also a word phrase... i.e. March Forth?
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most of my favourite stories about my life revolve around the things I'm glad I didn't do.
It'll probably be better that I don't respond to the Swami's advances...
x
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No, thankfully. I wouldn't have liked that, shifting birth dates all the time. Weren't you born in the UK... pretty unusual weather for that part of the world? Usually it's just damp and cold and grey, isn't it? Must have been the Angels announcing your arrival. (At least, that's the way I'd be working it! :)).
PS Did you know that the date March Fourth is the only calendar day that is also a word phrase... i.e. March Forth?
gimme a mo.
okay, March First?
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sorry, but that was brilliant. it only took me 3 seconds.
I've been given my marching orders...
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It'll probably be better that I don't respond to the Swami's advances...
x
You should always do what makes you happy... didn't you say you were attracted to him? You're single and "libre comme l'air" as they say. Why would you hold yourself back? I would go for it.
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You should always do what makes you happy... didn't you say you were attracted to him? You're single and "libre comme l'air" as they say. Why would you hold yourself back? I would go for it.
Big time hots for him, but that's wrong, he's a god-damn Swami. That's kinky.
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At least he wouldn't kick my door in when I tell him I don't wanna see him anymore (if he's a rubbish lover). He'd send food round instead.
xxx
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Big time hots for him, but that's wrong, he's a god-damn Swami. That's kinky.
Probably would be. That's what life is for... finding out. ;) Besides, aside from a few sheets here and there, he doesn't sound like any trouble at all. And as you say, he sends food around... although I'm wondering how he got the money to pay for it since you say he doesn't carry money and you had to give him bus fare.
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Probably would be. That's what life is for... finding out. ;) Besides, aside from a few sheets here and there, he doesn't sound like any trouble at all. And as you say, he sends food around... although I'm wondering how he got the money to pay for it since you say he doesn't carry money and you had to give him bus fare.
people give him stuff. he teaches.
don't know. but I've looked up the word swami, obviously.
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Do you call him Swami... or Master?
Do you have a pet name for him? Does he have one for you? Not trying to be nosy... I'm just curious.
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we'll have to wish each other happy cyber birthday in a few months!
Let's have a virtual party instead?
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Do you call him Swami... or Master?
Do you have a pet name for him? Does he have one for you? Not trying to be nosy... I'm just curious.
no, you're just trying to be funny.
I call him swami and everyone calls me linda kisses
plus he's cooked lovely meals for me in the past and helped me clean this dusty place lots of times. I'm sure he knows how much I like it when he takes his top sheet off and shows off his torso. He didn't come back till last summer after the time he stayed over the previous winter. When he did, I was busy and he left. Now he's coming back. It's fun to look forward to. He says the most amazing stuff. He knows me.
& I really really need to get rid of the last of this black toxic soot from the fire I had. He can reach the high ceilings up the ladder and I can't. i could launder his sheets for him, I have a washingline out back in the garden and the weather is lovely in the daytime.
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no, you're just trying to be funny.
I call him swami and everyone calls me linda.
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No, I was just asking. I know that many Indian names are very long and often hard for Westerners to pronounce. All the Indian acquaintances I have, have been given shorter nicknames. Personally, I would probably burst out laughing if I had to say "Swami." I would go with Master.
Okay on the virtual party thing. Since we're around a week apart, we'll meet in the middle I guess.
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No, I was just asking. I know that many Indian names are very long and often hard for Westerners to pronounce. All the Indian acquaintances I have, have been given shorter nicknames. Personally, I would probably burst out laughing if I had to say "Swami." I would go with Master.
Okay on the virtual party thing. Since we're around a week apart, we'll meet in the middle I guess.
I can't imagine making it back to TO, I'll be going to NY or Vancouver if I ever make it across the Atlantic again. Anyway, I wanna to go back to India one more time.
I asked him whether he had a real name and he changed the subject. And yep, I burst out laughing as I have this stupid lisp and swami is difficult to say. So is dyslexic and manic depressive.
I can say bi-polar. That sounds kinda Canadian.
xxx
I'm in an extremely up mood...
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Lol, you're right. Bi-polar does sound Canadian. You made a pun... I don't know how many Canadians are bi-polar, but bet 99% suffer from SAD.
Did you spend time in India? Can you speak with the natives? Have never been... I try not to spend my ill-gotten gains in countries where women's rights are not respected.
Any reason you're in a particularly good mood? :)
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Lol, you're right. Bi-polar does sound Canadian. You made a pun... I don't know how many Canadians are bi-polar, but bet 99% suffer from SAD.
Did you spend time in India? Can you speak with the natives? Have never been... I try not to spend my ill-gotten gains in countries where women's rights are not respected.
Any reason you're in a particularly good mood? :)
erm, no I cannot do Hindu. All I need is English after all. yes, I love india. Lovely weather, gorgeous colourful happy millions of people. Women are not respected properly world-wide, either in your home country or mine. And we're ahead of the rest, supposedly...
the good mood is contagious!
It's happy season and...
x
oh yeah, the SAD thing, I've almost got it sussed. I buy blue daylight bulbs, I've told you that. The other thing that works is lots of pure "Sunlight" soap and non-bio "Surf" laundry detergent. I love the packaging and they smell great.
good old "Bold" works other days.
& Ha is Hindi for yes. Can't stop laughing.
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oh yeah, the SAD thing, I've almost got it sussed. I buy blue daylight bulbs, I've told you that. The other thing that works is lots of pure "Sunlight" soap and non-bio "Surf" laundry detergent. I love the packaging and they smell great.
good old "Bold" works other days.
Lol, I'll have to stock up on Sunlight dishwasher detergent.
You're putting me into a good mood too.
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Can you speak with the natives?
sorry, I'm going to have to keep on going... I don't like being top of the page, could someone else please make it look like I'm not posting to myself?
The natives? this does my head in. I had a massive full-on near fight with my father's new wife in Vancouver about this. She was "Italian" and had never been there.
They called the Indians natives. The West Indians west indians. Then there was the other thing I'd never heard before: East Indians.
That's people from India.
xxx
I'm sticking up for the underdog because I always do. Also my dad was born illegitamate in Liverpool, so I'll never know what kind of dark my other half is.
I just hope it's Indian and not Greek.
Her lasagna was total crap.
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Lol, I'll have to stock up on Sunlight dishwasher detergent.
You're putting me into a good mood too.
no, it's a bar of soap. they're 3 for £1. you put them into your underwear, sock and jumper closets and drawers. Or else you just look at the packaging before you unwrap them.
and smile
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ta so much flower. I'm giggling now instead of doing ha ha ha.
Brilliant.
cu
my internet is going offy or down.
xL
Oh christ that bloke wearing silly sheets just showed up.
only kidding.
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But didn't that kind of sunlight soap go off the market 100 years ago? As per the pic Flower posted. Do you still wear bloomers too? :-\
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But didn't that kind of sunlight soap go off the market 100 years ago? As per the pic Flower posted. Do you still wear bloomers too? :-\
hahaha, no I've never worn knickers. sometimes I wear cycle shorts though.
Yep, I didn't realise you could still buy sunlight soap, but I found it this week for 3 bars for £1.
my internet went back to normal.
deedee, ease up on me okay, I'm the sensitive type...
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Just kidding honey-bun..
I'm sensitive too.
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Salami came back, he said he'd be back (just like any normal man) and was gone for like 3-6 months. He just showed up again tonight.
He gave me a hug and that definitely wasn't his hand or his wallet I could feel, I purposely did a limp, arms down, you hug me kinda hug.
When he arrived, I almost didn't answer the door 'cos I was drying away tears from having cried for the last few days about my dad's demise. He listened, perhaps that's how come I let him in, perhaps why he came back around.
Then I retrieved the shoe box in which I'd thrown all the will bits and the obits. I'd chucked it on the top shelf above in the bedroom and not cleaned it or even looked at it for at least a year and long before I had the nasty fire in here last August (when I also landed on Getbig, the day after mental head case married with a kid on drugs that didn't I don't think even got slapped around the face for it) bashed in my door. I'm digressing...
So I'm having a minor teary thing about my sad dad leaving all his money to his new wife of 6 years and my Mum phones. I've not spoken to her for 2 weeks as, as I've said, I have for some reason, been wondering what drugs my Dad was on when he signed his will. And I don't phone anyone when I'm not at my best.
Anyways, I had to listen to an hour or so about my mother's health. When I told her I've had a bad few weeks unable to sleep, just now realising that I've not yet grieved appropriately about my Dad, she changed the subject (to herself, as per usual)
God, I'm going on and on aren't I
the swami just sat there and watched me cry and attempt to turn the conversation positive (which is impossible with my Mum.
blah blah
after that he held me again and I asked if I could wash Swami's dirty clothing. Instead I went to the shops to get him some food. He made me laugh and then I gave him shit for not showing back up last time. But he'd not actually said he was coming back the next day.
But today he said he'll see me tomorrow at 10am. I'm sure he was trying to stay the night but
I said I gotta see you later.
He's even fitter and taller than I remember.
should I put him up? I think he's legit. I showed him the internet again and after two minutes he'd clicked the sell me porno box again. We were looking up the stars, Mercury retrograde and you still get little adverts selling you sex on that.
I took his photo again. The last two times I tried, they didn't come out whereas the whole rest of the film did. He could be a ghost or a figment of my imagination, but I think not.
We discussed life and love and yoga and I said we could meditate. He kissed me on both cheeks as he left, just like any other lovie in this part of west London, and said ta ta, I'll spend this week and make you a birthday cake.
Should I? This is the God's honest truth.
The guy wears 2 or 3 sheets and carries another big sheet on his back with all his wordly belongings
Oh I'm just posting for the sake of it.
Hopefully i'll be busy
wish me luck
god be with you (and me
xL
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what is that song, please tell me, i need to download it, it's from the 60s or 70s
Baby come Back.
No, he sat there all morning and watched TV, then in the afternoon curled up on my sofa and took a nap like a cat. Perhaps he was meditating. I carried on and did all my phone calls, had a few neighbours 'round (Shauney next door who wears tie-dye and plays digeridoo with Rolf Harris said "alright mate" to the man wearing two sheets.
Then he got up, stretched (waaaa...) and picked up all his wordly belongings and went out the door. I said are you coming back and he said I'm always here.
It's funny, no, he makes me laugh. He's gone back up the road to 131 (5 houses away), with Simon, the guy who lives on the top floor above the crack den. I'd imagine swami is cleaning the place up right now, that's what he does, he either cleans or cooks. And when he does, he takes off the sheet he ordinarily wears on his shoulders and puts it on his head.
He said come to Simon's and visit me there, but I'm not going. I gave him food and I'll wait.
xL
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Salami is not an Indian name. Are you making a bad pun?
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yep, incredible
i'm off
xl
no no I lied, he left
He went to Shepherds Bush, I scared him off. Although I made him extremely welcome (bought tea and biscuits, what do I know about his fucking reglion?
I've only just realised im extremely scary. and that's with ordinary normal pants man...
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L:
I've got three appointments tomorrow: Iv\e got a surveyor, a pulmber and oh the other one, i think he's going to bleed my radiators.
i live in hope... I doubt 2 out of 3 will even make it.
wish me luck, we're doing a 29th birthday party at the pub on Wednesday, Its my 21st. wanna come?
xL