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Getbig Main Boards => General Topics => Topic started by: Disgusted on December 09, 2006, 04:02:27 PM

Title: Chuck Norris
Post by: Disgusted on December 09, 2006, 04:02:27 PM
 ;D

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Dorian01 on December 09, 2006, 04:03:25 PM
You actually have a life inside the industry, so I'll forgive you being a full year and a half behind on these things.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Disgusted on December 09, 2006, 04:04:29 PM
You actually have a life inside the industry, so I'll forgive you being a full year and a half behind on these things.

Thanks  ;D I was bored so I stole these from somewhere else hoping to here some new ones.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: The Squadfather on December 09, 2006, 04:04:49 PM
;D

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck Norris is 5'8" 172lbs. he's a beast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Bluto on December 09, 2006, 04:42:59 PM
chuck norris got nothing on steven seagal!
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Stark on December 09, 2006, 04:44:27 PM
Chuck Norris is so.... last year...

Steven Seagal is the new man.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: logical? on December 09, 2006, 04:46:51 PM
;D

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.



LOL yes!!!!!! Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Hulkster on December 09, 2006, 05:01:11 PM
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

I doubt that pussy Steven Segal could.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: gmflex on December 09, 2006, 06:15:22 PM
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

I doubt that pussy Steven Segal could.











 ;D ;D
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: realkarateblackbelt on December 09, 2006, 07:04:21 PM
Chuck Norris would beat the shit outta that skinny actor Bruce Lee.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: JediKnight on December 09, 2006, 07:15:23 PM
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He Waits.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: onlyme on December 09, 2006, 07:55:31 PM
Chuck Norris is 5'8" 172lbs. he's a beast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually 5'7"
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Tre on December 09, 2006, 07:56:38 PM

When Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: JOHN MATRIX on December 09, 2006, 08:09:23 PM
every night before he goes to sleep, the boogieman checks his closet for chuck norris.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: SecondFocus on December 09, 2006, 08:20:54 PM
If you decide you ever want to go about being a real jerk to someone in person for real, I would put Steven Segal and Chuck Norris toward the bottom of your list. Just something I happen to know.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: realkarateblackbelt on December 09, 2006, 08:26:59 PM
If you decide you ever want to go about being a real jerk to someone in person for real, I would put Steven Segal and Chuck Norris toward the bottom of your list. Just something I happen to know.

oh?

Do tell.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: benchmstr on December 09, 2006, 09:03:15 PM
every time you masturbate,chuck norris punches a mexican baby in the face ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: hangclean on December 10, 2006, 02:23:25 AM
every time you masturbate,chuck norris punches a mexican baby in the face ;D ;D ;D
thats the best one ever.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: dorkeroo on December 10, 2006, 02:45:19 PM
every night before he goes to sleep, the boogieman checks his closet for chuck norris.

I love that one  ;D
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: benchmstr on December 10, 2006, 04:11:34 PM
thats the best one ever.
i know ;)
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: slaveboy1980 on December 10, 2006, 04:43:23 PM
chuck norris mated with chuck norris grandma so that chuck norris mom was born then chuck norris mom met chuck norris dad.then they made love in a car and chuck norris was born.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Frauhorn on December 10, 2006, 08:57:02 PM
One part philanthropy, one part court-ordered community service – for about ten hours each week Chuck Norris volunteers his cock ’n balls to the Safari Land Petting Zoo in Jacksonville, Florida.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: beatmaster on December 10, 2006, 09:10:45 PM
the man
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: onlyme on December 11, 2006, 01:23:17 AM
When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't push his body up, he pushes the earth down
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: rccs on December 11, 2006, 02:32:52 AM
When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't push his body up, he pushes the earth down
;D
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Cleanest Natural on December 11, 2006, 03:48:54 AM
i love the most how he uses total gym to stay in shape and get a thorough strech through those pecs while doing something totaly unrelated.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: bigbalddaddy on December 11, 2006, 08:35:04 AM
Chuck Norris is 5'8" 172lbs. he's a beast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

172lbs...you're being nice today!  I'd put him at 155 fully clothed!   What a beast!!!!!!!
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: benchmstr on December 11, 2006, 08:44:09 AM
172lbs...you're being nice today!  I'd put him at 155 fully clothed!   What a beast!!!!!!!
you my friend are stupid,everyone knows chuck norris bones are hollow and filled with the fat from un baptised babys to make him a superhuman earth destroyer ;D

so that baby fat must add at least 20-30 pounds

bench
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Rudee on December 11, 2006, 08:47:21 AM
;D

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.



Welcome to a year and a half ago. 
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: freespirit on December 11, 2006, 09:22:36 AM

Welcome to a year and a half ago. 

 ::)


You actually have a life inside the industry, so I'll forgive you being a full year and a half behind on these things.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: wes mantooth on December 11, 2006, 03:03:10 PM
every time you masturbate,chuck norris punches a mexican baby in the face ;D ;D ;D

LOL..my fave too...
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: rccs on December 13, 2006, 10:05:07 AM
I wonder what is Chuck Norris going to do when he reads all this?
Probably kick our asses through the internet, using the arrow keys!!! ;D ;D
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: rugged_bloke89 on December 15, 2006, 02:43:55 AM
When chuck norris walks into the ocean he does not get wet, the ocean gets chuck norrised...
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: Montague on December 24, 2006, 01:16:17 PM
Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse... horses are hung like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

God wanted 10 days to create the world. Chuck Norris gave him 6.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have Orgasms, Orgasms have a Chuck Norris.
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: ToxicAvenger on December 24, 2006, 01:20:03 PM
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8630946781191662911&q=chuck+norris
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: ToxicAvenger on December 24, 2006, 01:23:45 PM
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-407892439139457720&q=chuck+norris
Title: Re: Chuck Norris
Post by: OneBigMan on December 24, 2006, 01:26:59 PM
That Texas Ranger stranger was something very fake compared to what Norris Chucky believes about himself and everything else about the state.