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Author Topic: Chuck Norris  (Read 3871 times)

Disgusted

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Chuck Norris
« on: December 09, 2006, 04:02:27 PM »
 ;D

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
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Dorian01

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #1 on: December 09, 2006, 04:03:25 PM »
You actually have a life inside the industry, so I'll forgive you being a full year and a half behind on these things.
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Disgusted

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #2 on: December 09, 2006, 04:04:29 PM »
Quote from: Dorian01 on December 09, 2006, 04:03:25 PM
You actually have a life inside the industry, so I'll forgive you being a full year and a half behind on these things.

Thanks  ;D I was bored so I stole these from somewhere else hoping to here some new ones.
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The Squadfather

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #3 on: December 09, 2006, 04:04:49 PM »
Quote from: Disgusted on December 09, 2006, 04:02:27 PM
;D

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.

Chuck Norris is 5'8" 172lbs. he's a beast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Bluto

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #4 on: December 09, 2006, 04:42:59 PM »
chuck norris got nothing on steven seagal!
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Z

Stark

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #5 on: December 09, 2006, 04:44:27 PM »
Chuck Norris is so.... last year...

Steven Seagal is the new man.
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logical?

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #6 on: December 09, 2006, 04:46:51 PM »
Quote from: Disgusted on December 09, 2006, 04:02:27 PM
;D

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

When Chuck Norris was denied an Egg McMuffin at McDonald's because it was 10:35, he roundhouse kicked the store so hard it became a Wendy's.

Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.



LOL yes!!!!!! Chuck Norris's girlfriend once asked him how much wood a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He then shouted, "HOW DARE YOU RHYME IN THE PRESENCE OF CHUCK NORRIS!" and ripped out her throat. Holding his girlfriend's bloody throat in his hand he bellowed, "Don't fuck with Chuck!" Two years and five months later he realized the irony of this statement and laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius of the blast went deaf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hulkster

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #7 on: December 09, 2006, 05:01:11 PM »
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

I doubt that pussy Steven Segal could.
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Flower Boy Ran Away

gmflex

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #8 on: December 09, 2006, 06:15:22 PM »
Quote from: Hulkster on December 09, 2006, 05:01:11 PM
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

I doubt that pussy Steven Segal could.











 ;D ;D
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realkarateblackbelt

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #9 on: December 09, 2006, 07:04:21 PM »
Chuck Norris would beat the shit outta that skinny actor Bruce Lee.
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TEAM REPTILIAN

JediKnight

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #10 on: December 09, 2006, 07:15:23 PM »
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He Waits.
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onlyme

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #11 on: December 09, 2006, 07:55:31 PM »
Quote from: The Squadfather on December 09, 2006, 04:04:49 PM
Chuck Norris is 5'8" 172lbs. he's a beast!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually 5'7"
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Tre

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #12 on: December 09, 2006, 07:56:38 PM »

When Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the f*ck down.
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JOHN MATRIX

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #13 on: December 09, 2006, 08:09:23 PM »
every night before he goes to sleep, the boogieman checks his closet for chuck norris.
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SecondFocus

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #14 on: December 09, 2006, 08:20:54 PM »
If you decide you ever want to go about being a real jerk to someone in person for real, I would put Steven Segal and Chuck Norris toward the bottom of your list. Just something I happen to know.
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Ian L. Sitren
SecondFocus

realkarateblackbelt

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #15 on: December 09, 2006, 08:26:59 PM »
Quote from: SecondFocus on December 09, 2006, 08:20:54 PM
If you decide you ever want to go about being a real jerk to someone in person for real, I would put Steven Segal and Chuck Norris toward the bottom of your list. Just something I happen to know.

oh?

Do tell.
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TEAM REPTILIAN

benchmstr

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #16 on: December 09, 2006, 09:03:15 PM »
every time you masturbate,chuck norris punches a mexican baby in the face ;D ;D ;D
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hangclean

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #17 on: December 10, 2006, 02:23:25 AM »
Quote from: benchmstr on December 09, 2006, 09:03:15 PM
every time you masturbate,chuck norris punches a mexican baby in the face ;D ;D ;D
thats the best one ever.
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dorkeroo

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #18 on: December 10, 2006, 02:45:19 PM »
Quote from: JOHN MATRIX on December 09, 2006, 08:09:23 PM
every night before he goes to sleep, the boogieman checks his closet for chuck norris.

I love that one  ;D
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benchmstr

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #19 on: December 10, 2006, 04:11:34 PM »
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slaveboy1980

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #20 on: December 10, 2006, 04:43:23 PM »
chuck norris mated with chuck norris grandma so that chuck norris mom was born then chuck norris mom met chuck norris dad.then they made love in a car and chuck norris was born.
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Frauhorn

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #21 on: December 10, 2006, 08:57:02 PM »
One part philanthropy, one part court-ordered community service – for about ten hours each week Chuck Norris volunteers his cock ’n balls to the Safari Land Petting Zoo in Jacksonville, Florida.
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beatmaster

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #22 on: December 10, 2006, 09:10:45 PM »
the man
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are you delusional?

onlyme

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #23 on: December 11, 2006, 01:23:17 AM »
When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't push his body up, he pushes the earth down
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rccs

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Re: Chuck Norris
« Reply #24 on: December 11, 2006, 02:32:52 AM »
Quote from: onlyme on December 11, 2006, 01:23:17 AM
When Chuck Norris does push-ups he doesn't push his body up, he pushes the earth down
;D
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S
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