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Getbig Main Boards => Politics and Political Issues Board => Topic started by: 24KT on June 19, 2007, 11:43:48 PM
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Father found guilty in honor killing
By PAISLEY DODDS, Associated Press Writer
Mon Jun 11, 2:48 PM ET
(http://d.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/p/rids/20070611/i/r2627833541.jpg?x=180&y=240&sig=d1A.QLqKxs3ogDfBiqv1qw--)
Reuters Photo:Ari Mahmod is seen in
an undated police handout image,
released to Reuters June 11, 2007
LONDON - A father who ordered his daughter brutally slain for falling in love with the wrong man in a so-called "honor killing" was found guilty of murder on Monday.
Banaz Mahmod, 20, was strangled with a boot lace, stuffed into a suitcase and buried in a back garden.
Her death is the latest in an increasing trend of such killings in Britain, home to some 1.8 million Muslims. More than 100 homicides are under investigation as potential "honor killings."
Mahmod Mahmod, 52, and his brother Ari Mahmod, 51, planned the killing during a family meeting, prosecutors told the court. Two others have pleaded guilty in the case. Two more suspects have fled the country. Sentencing is expected later this month.
The men accused the young woman of shaming her family by ending an abusive arranged marriage, becoming too Westernized and falling in love with a man who didn't come from their Iraqi village. The Kurdish family came to Britain in 1998 when Banaz Mahmod was 11.
"She was my present, my future, my hope," said Rahmat Suleimani, 29, Banaz Mahmod's boyfriend.
During the three-month trial, prosecutors said Mahmod's father beat his daughter for using hairspray and adopting other Western ways. Her uncle once told her she would have been "turned to ashes" if she were his daughter and had shamed the family by becoming involved with the Iranian Kurd, her sister 22-year-old Bekhal Mahmod testified.
Banaz Mahmod ran away from home when she was a teenager but returned when her father sent her an audio tape in which he warned he would kill her sisters, her mother and himself if she did not come home, her sister said.
She was later hospitalized after her brother attacked her, the sister told the court. The brother said he had been paid by their father to finish her off but in the end was unable to do it, said the sister, who testified in a full black burqa. She said she still feared for her own life.
The years of Banaz Mahmod's abuse were compounded by police officers who repeatedly dismissed her cries for help.
She first went to police in December 2005, saying she suspected her uncle was trying to kill her and her boyfriend. She sent police a letter naming the men who she thought would later kill her.
On New Year's Eve, she was lured by her father to her grandmother's home, where she suspected he planned to attack her after he forced her to gulp down brandy and approached her while wearing gloves. She escaped by breaking a window and was treated at a hospital.
Police dismissed her suspicions, and one officer, who is under investigation, considered charging her with damages for breaking her grandmother's window.
Laying in her hospital bed after the escape, Mahmod recorded a dramatic video message saying she was "really scared."
The videotape, taken by her boyfriend at the hospital, was shown to the jury during the trial.
After she was released from the hospital, she returned home and tried to convince her family she had stopped seeing her boyfriend.
But friends told the family they spotted the couple together on Jan. 22, 2006.
Soon after, a group of men allegedly approached her boyfriend and tried to lure him into a car but he refused. It was that event that prompted Banaz Mahmod to go to police again. This time officers tried to persuade her to stay in a safe house. She refused, believing that her mother would protect her.
But her mother and father left her alone in the house the next day. Her boyfriend alerted police after time passed in which she failed to send him text messages.
Her body wasn't discovered until three months later after police tracked phone records.
Britain has seen more than 25 women killed by their Muslim relatives in the past decade for offenses they believed brought shame on the family. More than 100 other homicides are under investigation as potential honor killings.
Some Muslim communities in Britain practice Sharia, or strict Islamic law.
"We're seeing an increase around the world, due in part to the rise in Islamic fundamentalism," said Diana Nammi with the London-based Iranian and Kurdish Women's Rights Organization.
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Judi, i'm surprised you posted this... but I'm happy you did.
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fuckin throwbacks to the barbarian ages
word
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word
duh...
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duh...
::)
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::)
Meaning what?
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Meaning what?
He has a crush on you... He told me in PM.
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He has a crush on you... He told me in PM.
Getbig is a funny place. ;)
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Judi, i'm surprised you posted this... but I'm happy you did.
Why? ??? There's a big difference between reposting of news / facts, as opposed to reposting sensationalized speculation designed to inflame and fan the flames of bigotry.
I just wish the news would focus some attention onto the abuses suffered by "western women" as well, who also suffer reprisals for imagined assaults on family honour. It's not like they don't exist.
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Why? ??? There's a big difference between reposting of news / facts, as opposed to reposting sensationalized speculation designed to inflame and fan the flames of bigotry.
I just wish the news would focus some attention onto the abuses suffered by "western women" as well, who also suffer reprisals for imagined assaults on family honour. It's not like they don't exist.
uh-oh someone needs their morning flogging. make me a sandwich women
that kinda assault?
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jaguarenterprises, do you believe islam has any role to play in this tragic case?
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jaguarenterprises, do you believe islam has any role to play in this tragic case?
Not answering for Judi, but of course it does.
Judi, the difference is that in the Western world, women enjoy equality under the law. The more Sharia law becomes accepted within our Western culture, the more women's status is undermined, and sadly, those women who live in fear under Sharia law are marginalized, and the crimes against them swept under the rug. The more exposure, the better. Europe is a mess!!!
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uh-oh someone needs their morning flogging. make me a sandwich women
that kinda assault?
Mustard or mayo? :D
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Judi, the difference is that in the Western world, women enjoy equality under the law. The more Sharia law becomes accepted within our Western culture, the more women's status is undermined, and sadly, those women who live in fear under Sharia law are marginalized, and the crimes against them swept under the rug. The more exposure, the better. Europe is a mess!!!
well said, Deedee.
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These are the same kinda people who p,anned to blow up down town Toronto...its about time Canada wakes up. Sharia law has no place anywhere.
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These are the same kinda people who p,anned to blow up down town Toronto...its about time Canada wakes up. Sharia law has no place anywhere.
I don't know actually.
I think we should allow it in britain if the muslims accept it only complies to them, and not the free thinking brits.
Example: if they cheat, drink, etc they will be executed (stoned, hung, no needles etc) under the guidance of the koran and sharia law.
Maybe we should give it a dry run.
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Didn't America use the 'he gassed his own people!' line as justification for going after Saddam?
And wasn't it the Kurds that he gassed?
Looks like he was doing us all a favor.
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Didn't America use the 'he gassed his own people!' line as justification for going after Saddam?
And wasn't it the Kurds that he gassed?
Looks like he was doing us all a favor.
This has been happening here..
I knew a story of a pakistani man who extorted his friend's daughter.. He threatened to tell her father about her highschool bf unless she had sex with him. He was raping here for months before she mustered up the courage to call the cops..
This Islam stuff is just garbage. Good people who are civilized need to move the fuck away from it.
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Not answering for Judi, but of course it does.
Judi, the difference is that in the Western world, women enjoy equality under the law. The more Sharia law becomes accepted within our Western culture, the more women's status is undermined, and sadly, those women who live in fear under Sharia law are marginalized, and the crimes against them swept under the rug. The more exposure, the better. Europe is a mess!!!
Who the heck accepts Sharia law in our culture? :o Exposure is one thing, hate mongering another.
I'm all for exposing the brutality & injustice. Not at all for hate & fear mongering.
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It won't be hate and fear mongering when Toronto or Vancouver is in ruins.
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As someone who supports the war (mostly) I would say that destroying Saddam was a good thing for this very reason. On the other hand, I get the returning feeling that if that entire portion of the world was turned to glass it might save us the trouble. Islam is a religion of fanatics, sadists, and all around human garbage. I just hope my own country doesn't succumb to the cancer of "tolerance."
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It won't be hate and fear mongering when Toronto or Vancouver is in ruins.
You really think Sharia law is going to get a foothold here? ::)
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As someone who supports the war (mostly) I would say that destroying Saddam was a good thing for this very reason.
How do you reckon, when it was Saddam who kept the religious fanatics in check?
On the other hand, I get the returning feeling that if that entire portion of the world was turned to glass it might save us the trouble. Islam is a religion of fanatics, sadists, and all around human garbage. I just hope my own country doesn't succumb to the cancer of "tolerance."
After a statement like that, I'm guessing many of your countrymen are cringing with embarrassment,
...and calling themselves Canadians, ...but I could be wrong. :P
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I could be wrong. :P
Sounds good. ;D
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Tolerance of shitbags that would use a six yeasr old kid asa suicide bomber...fly planes in to buildings....blow up pizza joints..nope no tolerance here..I hope they all get on the same bus and it crashes...short of that a virus that wipes them all, out would be nice...nothing good but oil has come out of the Middle East. And please don't give me that science and math crap..we've figured eveything else out, we would have figured out whatever else the rags had come up with as well. Islam is the religion of hate and intolerance.
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Tolerance of shitbags that would use a six yeasr old kid asa suicide bomber...fly planes in to buildings....blow up pizza joints..nope no tolerance here..I hope they all get on the same bus and it crashes...short of that a virus that wipes them all, out would be nice...nothing good but oil has come out of the Middle East. And please don't give me that science and math crap..we've figured eveything else out, we would have figured out whatever else the rags had come up with as well. Islam is the religion of hate and intolerance.
And your post is a glowing testament to tolerance. You should be proud. ;D :P :-*
Btw - Who is talking about tolerance of Islam? I'm talking about not preaching sensationalized fear & hate mongering
You should know me by now to know how I feel about most every form of organized religion regardless of the stripe.
You need a woman in a long black robe to rap you on the knuckles with a ruler. :P
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You really think Sharia law is going to get a foothold here? ::)
Man, you really lack intelligence and knowledge on these topics. I highly suggest you get a formal education, it will work out well for you in the long run.
There was a strong proposal for sharia law to be imposed at some levels in Quebec communities with high muslim populations. Read my links in this post, you will find that as the muslim population grows (fastest growing population in Canada I believe) more and more will gain seats on the councils etc, plus they will have a stronger voting power.
http://www.canadianchristianity.com/cgi-bin/na.cgi?nationalupdates/050602quebec
http://www.wwrn.org/article.php?idd=17008&sec=36&con=5
http://www.jihadwatch.org/dhimmiwatch/archives/006375.php
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2005/05/26/shariah-quebec050526.html
http://www.sikhtimes.com/news_052705b.html
How good are you at denying FACTS?
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It won't be hate and fear mongering when Toronto or Vancouver is in ruins.
You NIMBY (Not In My Back Yard)
You lot are only reading the (American) press. You have no true idea about real life, the real world. & I think Canada will not run to rack and ruin. It'll be okay.
England is a bit strange nowadays, we take the brunt.
xL
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Printable version
'Honour killing' relatives guilty
Banaz Mahmod Babakir Agha
Banaz Mahmod's body was found in a buried suitcase
Mobile footage
A father has been found guilty of killing his daughter in what police have described as an honour killing.
The body of Banaz Mahmod, 20, was found in a suitcase buried in a garden in Birmingham last year.
Her father Mahmod Mahmod, 52, and uncle Ari Mahmod, 50, from Mitcham, south London, were both convicted of murder at the Old Bailey.
A third defendant, Darbad Mares-Rasull, was cleared of conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.
Ari Mahmod was also found guilty of conspiracy to pervert the course of justice.
Mohamad Hama, 30, of West Norwood, south London, an associate of Ari, has pleaded guilty to the murder.
Mahmod Mahmod (left) and Ari Mahmod
Banaz's boyfriend was threatened by her family
Boyfriend's heartache
Killed in the name of honour
Miss Mahmod was killed after falling in love with a man her family did not want her to marry.
Her father and uncle ordered the murder because they believed she had shamed the family, the three-month trial heard.
Banaz had made several attempts to warn police that her life was in danger, even naming those she thought would kill her.
In footage recorded following an earlier attempt on her life by her father in December 2005, she said she was "really scared".
However her statement following the assault was allegedly not taken seriously enough by investigating officers.
Several officers are being investigated as part of an internal review of the case by Scotland Yard's Directorate of Professional Standards.
Banaz fled but later went back to her family and tried to carry on her relationship with boyfriend Rahmat Sulemani in secret.
Mr Sulemani broke down in tears when giving testimony, saying they had been threatened with death if they carried on seeing each other.
He later said: "My life went away when Banaz died.
"The only thing which was keeping me going was the moment to see justice being done for Banaz."
'Ultimate betrayal'
Banaz was urged to stay at a safe house but told officers she believed she would be safe at home because her mother was there.
She disappeared on 24 January and her decomposed body was discovered in Handsworth, Birmingham, three months later.
Her sister Bekhal, 22, who is in hiding from the family, condemned her relatives for taking Banaz's life.
She said: "To do this to their own flesh and blood was unforgivable. Forgiveness isn't even a question. They don't deserve to be on this earth."
After the verdict, Detective Inspector Caroline Goode, said: "Clearly there is no honour in killing... I think it is the ultimate betrayal for a parent to kill a child."
CPS spokesman Paul Goddard said: "The murder of Banaz Mahmod by her father, uncle and their associates not only took away the life of a young woman, it left her boyfriend in fear of his life and also left other members of the family and the community in fear."
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You are here: Home › News › 'Honour killing' sister breaks her silence
Britain: 'Honour killing' sister breaks her silence
People Britain was appalled by the horrific 'honour killing' of a girl murdered by her father for daring to kiss the man she loved.
Here, her sister, who narrowly escaped death herself and now lives in fear of her life, breaks her silence.
Every time Bekhal Mahmod leaves the safety of her home, she wears the hijab with a black veil covering her face - even though she would give anything for the freedom not to have to.
She has no family to turn to, few friends, and has to lie to new acquaintances about who she is and where she is from. She is constantly looking over her shoulder.
"My life will always be at risk," says 22-year-old Bekhal. "There are people in my community who want to see me dead, and they will not rest until I am. I will never be safe. I wear the veil so no one can recognise me."
It is a desperately lonely and isolated existence, but at least she is alive - unlike her younger sister Banaz.
Both young women brought "shame" on their strict Muslim Iraqi Kurdish family by disobeying their father Mahmod.
Bekhal, 22, ran away aged 16 rather than agree to an arranged marriage to a cousin in Iraq.
She survived an attempted killing by her brother, but her sister Banaz, 20, paid the ultimate price for leaving her own arranged marriage and then falling in love with an "unsuitable man" of her own choice.
On the orders of her 52-year-old father and uncle, Ari Mahmod, 50, she was strangled with a bootlace by Kurdish assassins, her body stuffed in a suitcase and buried six feet down in the garden of a house belonging to an associate in Birmingham.
Two of the murderers, who fled back to Iraq after this horrific so-called "honour killing", have since boasted of raping Banaz before she died in January 2006.
"Honour killing?" cries Bekhal. "Where is the honour in a father putting his status in the community before the life of his own flesh and blood?
"They should be disgusted with themselves. Honour in our community is about men having the upper hand, having the ruling power.
"Banaz was the most beautiful, loving, caring, easy-going girl you could ever hope to meet. Her only crime was to want to have some say in her life. Where is the shame in that?
"After I refused an arranged marriage, I knew I had two choices; stay and be killed, or leave and live. I chose to live but I had to leave everything behind."
Bekhal was one of the key prosecution witnesses at the three-month trial of her father and uncle, which this week resulted in their convictions at the Old Bailey for murder.
They have yet to be sentenced. A third man, Mohamad Hama, 30, of South Norwood, London, had already admitted the killing.
The other key witness was Banaz's boyfriend Rahmat Sulemani, 29, whose own life was threatened because he was considered an unsuitable match for Banaz, despite also being Iraqi.
Bekhal and Rahmat now face a future of secret addresses and identities under police protection.
"When I stared into the eyes of my father in court, there wasn't even a twitch of guilt," says Bekhal. "No emotion at all. I still love him because he is my father, but I can never forgive nor understand what he did.
"Why, if he didn't want us to be influenced by Western ways, did he bring us to Britain? You cannot expect your children to follow the same traditions as back in Iraq.
"It is an impossible expectation. This would never have happened back there because we would have known no different."
Bekhal has shown incredible bravery in giving evidence against her father and speaking out now in her first major interview, for the threat of reprisals is very real.
She is believed by British police to be the first female family member ever to give evidence in an "honour killing" trial.
Indeed, her mother and three other sisters refused to cooperate with the police for fear of upsetting the community.
"Why should we have to die for wanting no more than for our voices to be heard, to have a say in our lives?" Bekhal says.
For it seems that it is women who are the main casualties when some ultra-traditional immigrants are determined to protect their own culture, even if it means operating above the law.
According to Bekhal, integration was the very last thing on her father's mind, although she says he seemed happy to accept Britain's hospitality in the form of a council house and benefits.
Despite being relatively well-off back in Iraq - his family were property owners and ran various businesses - he never worked here. His status in the community and the respect of Iraqi Kurds were all that mattered to him.
Bekhal was 14 and Banaz 12 when they first arrived in England, as asylum seekers fleeing Saddam Hussein's Iraq, with their parents Mahmod and Behya, brother Bahman, now aged 28, and sisters Beza, 25, Payman, 20, and Giaband, 16.
Having moved into a council house in Mitcham, South London, Mahmod's daughters, who couldn't speak a word of English, were enrolled at the local Bishopsford Community School.
Inevitably problems started almost immediately as Bekhal began to learn the language and made friends with Western boys and girls.
She started to envy their freedoms, to the evident fury of her father. The more Westernised his daughters tried to become, the more he tried to control them, often resorting to verbal abuse and violence.
"We used to have to wear a headscarf and trousers to school, which was so hot," Bekhal recalls. "I didn't want to wear mini-skirts or makeup like some of the girls, but I longed to take my headscarf off.
"One day I was walking home through the park and I'd taken my scarf off and my father saw me. He screamed at me: 'Who do you think you are? You are acting like a bitch.'
"He pulled me inside the house, spat in my face and then picked up his slippers to beat me around the head as he shouted: 'Don't you ever disobey me.' In the two years before I ran away, I think he beat me more than 20 times.
"It would be over silly things like undoing the top button of my school shirt, or using hair gel. Once, he picked up a metal soup ladle and hit me round the head repeatedly with it.
"I didn't want to have boyfriends or go out at night or anything like that. I was respectful to my parents.
"I just wanted to be able to have friends, to give my opinion, very small things that British girls take for granted."
Bekhal left school after taking her GCSEs and took a part-time job working in a supermarket. All her earnings - around £300 a month - were taken by her father; she was given just £50 from it.
"One day I was walking home from work and a male colleague was walking beside me, pushing his bike along," she says.
"All of a sudden my father drove up. My friend leapt on his bike to cycle off and my father tried to run him over. Back home after that I was beaten again.
"When I used to confide in friends what was happening to me, they used to accuse me of exaggerating.
"They couldn't believe that such things could go on in today's society. They thought there were laws to prevent it, but they do happen and there are many other women still suffering.
"It is not a cultural issue. It is criminal and people need to take it seriously."
Bekhal first ran away when she was 16 and went to live with a schoolfriend. Her parents tracked her down and after countless threats she reluctantly agreed to return home.
The second time, she ran away after she was locked for a week in a bedroom for refusing to accept an arranged marriage with a cousin, calling the police to rescue her after escaping her confines while the rest of the family were out.
She was placed in foster care by social services, but again, reluctantly went home after a few months.
"My parents again tracked me down and kept sending me audio tapes. At first they would be tearful, with my dad calling me his 'little rose'.
"Then they became more menacing. My father told me that unless I went home he would kill all my sisters first, then my brother, then my mother, then himself, such was the shame I had brought on them.
"I believed him, so I went back. Did I think he was capable of doing that? Absolutely."
The beatings continued, as did the demands that she agree to marry her cousin. "I kept repeating 'I will not do it'. I could not agree to marry some stranger and live an unhappy life."
It was when Bekhal ran away for a third time -returning to her foster mother - and found herself a Muslim boyfriend, who was not strict in his religion, that Mahmod decided he could not allow her to live.
During Banaz's murder trial, the court heard how Mahmod dispatched his only son Bahman to restore the family's honour by killing Bekhal.
Bekhal recalls how her brother lured her to meet him at a remote spot in South London, with promises of money, and then hit her round the head with a dumb-bell while her back was turned.
"I felt this terrible pain in my head and collapsed," recalls Bekhal. "Blood was streaming down my face.
"I felt dizzy and sick, but I looked up at him and said: 'What are you doing?' He was crying like a baby and kept repeating: 'I've got to do it, you have brought shame on the family. It is my duty.'
"As he started to drag me across the gravel I was pleading: 'Please don't do this, I will do anything, just tell my father you killed me and let me go, you will never hear from me again.'
"Thankfully for me, he couldn't go through with it. He put his hand in his pocket and gave me six £50 notes before telling me to go. I phoned my boyfriend, screaming hysterically: 'Please come and get me, my brother's trying to kill me.'
Bekhal was taken to hospital where she received several stitches to her head, but she refused to inform the police or press charges, because - despite herself - she didn't want to shame her family by involving the authorities.
From then on, she occasionally phoned her sisters in secret, careful not to tell them where she was living.
Some months later, she learned that her younger sister Banaz, unlike her, had agreed to an arranged marriage when she was 17 to a Midlandsbased Kurdish man, then aged 28, whom her father described as "the David Beckham" of husbands.
But the marriage was a disaster. Banaz, the court would later hear, fled home after two-and-a-half years complaining that her husband was violent, regularly beating her.
"I remember going to see Banaz in secret when she was married and she was terribly unhappy," Bekhal recalls.
"She finally understood why I had run away. I told her she could come and live with me, but she said she couldn't bring further shame on the family. She later told me she only put up with her husband for so long because she wanted to keep our father happy."
What a bitter irony that this young girl continued to try to please the man who would later take her life.
Back home with her family, Banaz was not yet divorced when she met Rahmat Sulemani, from South London, at a family party in 2005.
For a long time they were just good friends before falling in love, but Mahmod did not approve.
Rahmat - despite being a family friend - was not from the same village and not as religious as the Mahmods. He was warned off with threats to his life.
Banaz, 20, was taken to a relative's house in Sheffield, where she was locked up for two weeks and beaten.
When that did not work, a family meeting was called by Banaz's uncle, Ari Mahmod, a wealthy entrepreneur who ran a money transfer business, where it was decided to kill the couple unless they stopped seeing each other.
But Banaz and Rahmat, whose occupation has never been revealed to protect him, and who now lives under an assumed name, continued to meet in secret.
Their fate was sealed when a member of the Kurdish community pictured them kissing in the street in Brixton on his mobile phone.
The first attempt on Banaz's life was on New Year's Eve 2005, when she was taken to her grandmother's house in Wimbledon and plied with brandy by her father, who then came towards her, arms outstretched wearing surgical gloves, as she fought off sleep.
She ran out through the back door when her father briefly left the room, and broke a neighbour's window to try to raise the alarm, cutting her wrists in the process.
The police were called, but the female officer who interviewed her, PC Angela Cornes, didn't believe her. She dismissed Banaz as an attention seeker and even considered charging her with criminal damage for breaking the window.
It was left to Banaz's boyfriend Rahmat to record on his camera phone her chilling testimony, explaining - as she lay in hospital - what had happened and describing how she was "really scared" for her life.
This was played to the jury during the murder trial.
PC Cornes is one of five police officers under investigation in an internal review by Scotland Yard over the handling of the case, for it emerged during the trial that Banaz had told police on at least four occasions that her family was plotting to kill her.
Yet, crucially, she declined the police offer of a place at a refuge, believing no harm would come to her while at home with her mother.
Mahmod never reported his daughter missing to police after she suddenly vanished in January 2006. It was left to Rahmat Sulemani to do that.
When the police first called at the family home on the day she was murdered - January 24 - Mahmod fobbed them off, saying she was out.
Two days later they classed her as high-risk after the family refused to report her missing and launched a full-scale investigation.
Bekhal describes the day she was told by police that her sister's body had been found buried half-naked in a garden - three months after her death - as the very worst of her life.
"What they did to my sister was devilish, despicable and disgusting. Can a family's honour be worth more than a life? I can't bear to think of the way she must have suffered. I had no choice but to stand up in court and give evidence for her."
Today, Bekhal has no contact with her mother, brother or sisters. She cannot risk any communication, in case her new whereabouts under police protection is inadvertently revealed.
More importantly, however, she does not want to put them at risk from the Kurdish community for associating with her.
"I would rather live like this than live in fear," says Bekhal. "I will never be able to tell people who my father is - not only because of the risk to my life but because I'm ashamed. He is the one who has brought dishonour to our family."
-
International Campaign Against Honour Killings
Toggle BlocksToggle Blocks .:: Home :: Community Forums :: My Account ::.
Menu
Du'a Khalil Aswad
Advertisement
Reclaiming Honour
in Jordan
A National Public Opinion Survey on "Honor Killings"
by Ellen R Sheeley
Privately available from the author through email.
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You are here: Home › News › 'Honour killing' sister breaks her silence
Britain: 'Honour killing' sister breaks her silence
People Britain was appalled by the horrific 'honour killing' of a girl murdered by her father for daring to kiss the man she loved.
Here, her sister, who narrowly escaped death herself and now lives in fear of her life, breaks her silence.
Every time Bekhal Mahmod leaves the safety of her home, she wears the hijab with a black veil covering her face - even though she would give anything for the freedom not to have to.
She has no family to turn to, few friends, and has to lie to new acquaintances about who she is and where she is from. She is constantly looking over her shoulder.
"My life will always be at risk," says 22-year-old Bekhal. "There are people in my community who want to see me dead, and they will not rest until I am. I will never be safe. I wear the veil so no one can recognise me."
It is a desperately lonely and isolated existence, but at least she is alive - unlike her younger sister Banaz.
Both young women brought "shame" on their strict Muslim Iraqi Kurdish family by disobeying their father Mahmod.
Bekhal, 22, ran away aged 16 rather than agree to an arranged marriage to a cousin in Iraq.
She survived an attempted killing by her brother, but her sister Banaz, 20, paid the ultimate price for leaving her own arranged marriage and then falling in love with an "unsuitable man" of her own choice.
On the orders of her 52-year-old father and uncle, Ari Mahmod, 50, she was strangled with a bootlace by Kurdish assassins, her body stuffed in a suitcase and buried six feet down in the garden of a house belonging to an associate in Birmingham.
Two of the murderers, who fled back to Iraq after this horrific so-called "honour killing", have since boasted of raping Banaz before she died in January 2006.
"Honour killing?" cries Bekhal. "Where is the honour in a father putting his status in the community before the life of his own flesh and blood?
"They should be disgusted with themselves. Honour in our community is about men having the upper hand, having the ruling power.
"Banaz was the most beautiful, loving, caring, easy-going girl you could ever hope to meet. Her only crime was to want to have some say in her life. Where is the shame in that?
"After I refused an arranged marriage, I knew I had two choices; stay and be killed, or leave and live. I chose to live but I had to leave everything behind."
Bekhal was one of the key prosecution witnesses at the three-month trial of her father and uncle, which this week resulted in their convictions at the Old Bailey for murder.
They have yet to be sentenced. A third man, Mohamad Hama, 30, of South Norwood, London, had already admitted the killing.
The other key witness was Banaz's boyfriend Rahmat Sulemani, 29, whose own life was threatened because he was considered an unsuitable match for Banaz, despite also being Iraqi.
Bekhal and Rahmat now face a future of secret addresses and identities under police protection.
"When I stared into the eyes of my father in court, there wasn't even a twitch of guilt," says Bekhal. "No emotion at all. I still love him because he is my father, but I can never forgive nor understand what he did.
"Why, if he didn't want us to be influenced by Western ways, did he bring us to Britain? You cannot expect your children to follow the same traditions as back in Iraq.
"It is an impossible expectation. This would never have happened back there because we would have known no different."
Bekhal has shown incredible bravery in giving evidence against her father and speaking out now in her first major interview, for the threat of reprisals is very real.
She is believed by British police to be the first female family member ever to give evidence in an "honour killing" trial.
Indeed, her mother and three other sisters refused to cooperate with the police for fear of upsetting the community.
"Why should we have to die for wanting no more than for our voices to be heard, to have a say in our lives?" Bekhal says.
For it seems that it is women who are the main casualties when some ultra-traditional immigrants are determined to protect their own culture, even if it means operating above the law.
According to Bekhal, integration was the very last thing on her father's mind, although she says he seemed happy to accept Britain's hospitality in the form of a council house and benefits.
Despite being relatively well-off back in Iraq - his family were property owners and ran various businesses - he never worked here. His status in the community and the respect of Iraqi Kurds were all that mattered to him.
Bekhal was 14 and Banaz 12 when they first arrived in England, as asylum seekers fleeing Saddam Hussein's Iraq, with their parents Mahmod and Behya, brother Bahman, now aged 28, and sisters Beza, 25, Payman, 20, and Giaband, 16.
Having moved into a council house in Mitcham, South London, Mahmod's daughters, who couldn't speak a word of English, were enrolled at the local Bishopsford Community School.
Inevitably problems started almost immediately as Bekhal began to learn the language and made friends with Western boys and girls.
She started to envy their freedoms, to the evident fury of her father. The more Westernised his daughters tried to become, the more he tried to control them, often resorting to verbal abuse and violence.
"We used to have to wear a headscarf and trousers to school, which was so hot," Bekhal recalls. "I didn't want to wear mini-skirts or makeup like some of the girls, but I longed to take my headscarf off.
"One day I was walking home through the park and I'd taken my scarf off and my father saw me. He screamed at me: 'Who do you think you are? You are acting like a bitch.'
"He pulled me inside the house, spat in my face and then picked up his slippers to beat me around the head as he shouted: 'Don't you ever disobey me.' In the two years before I ran away, I think he beat me more than 20 times.
"It would be over silly things like undoing the top button of my school shirt, or using hair gel. Once, he picked up a metal soup ladle and hit me round the head repeatedly with it.
"I didn't want to have boyfriends or go out at night or anything like that. I was respectful to my parents.
"I just wanted to be able to have friends, to give my opinion, very small things that British girls take for granted."
Bekhal left school after taking her GCSEs and took a part-time job working in a supermarket. All her earnings - around £300 a month - were taken by her father; she was given just £50 from it.
"One day I was walking home from work and a male colleague was walking beside me, pushing his bike along," she says.
"All of a sudden my father drove up. My friend leapt on his bike to cycle off and my father tried to run him over. Back home after that I was beaten again.
"When I used to confide in friends what was happening to me, they used to accuse me of exaggerating.
"They couldn't believe that such things could go on in today's society. They thought there were laws to prevent it, but they do happen and there are many other women still suffering.
"It is not a cultural issue. It is criminal and people need to take it seriously."
Bekhal first ran away when she was 16 and went to live with a schoolfriend. Her parents tracked her down and after countless threats she reluctantly agreed to return home.
The second time, she ran away after she was locked for a week in a bedroom for refusing to accept an arranged marriage with a cousin, calling the police to rescue her after escaping her confines while the rest of the family were out.
She was placed in foster care by social services, but again, reluctantly went home after a few months.
"My parents again tracked me down and kept sending me audio tapes. At first they would be tearful, with my dad calling me his 'little rose'.
"Then they became more menacing. My father told me that unless I went home he would kill all my sisters first, then my brother, then my mother, then himself, such was the shame I had brought on them.
"I believed him, so I went back. Did I think he was capable of doing that? Absolutely."
The beatings continued, as did the demands that she agree to marry her cousin. "I kept repeating 'I will not do it'. I could not agree to marry some stranger and live an unhappy life."
It was when Bekhal ran away for a third time -returning to her foster mother - and found herself a Muslim boyfriend, who was not strict in his religion, that Mahmod decided he could not allow her to live.
During Banaz's murder trial, the court heard how Mahmod dispatched his only son Bahman to restore the family's honour by killing Bekhal.
Bekhal recalls how her brother lured her to meet him at a remote spot in South London, with promises of money, and then hit her round the head with a dumb-bell while her back was turned.
"I felt this terrible pain in my head and collapsed," recalls Bekhal. "Blood was streaming down my face.
"I felt dizzy and sick, but I looked up at him and said: 'What are you doing?' He was crying like a baby and kept repeating: 'I've got to do it, you have brought shame on the family. It is my duty.'
"As he started to drag me across the gravel I was pleading: 'Please don't do this, I will do anything, just tell my father you killed me and let me go, you will never hear from me again.'
"Thankfully for me, he couldn't go through with it. He put his hand in his pocket and gave me six £50 notes before telling me to go. I phoned my boyfriend, screaming hysterically: 'Please come and get me, my brother's trying to kill me.'
Bekhal was taken to hospital where she received several stitches to her head, but she refused to inform the police or press charges, because - despite herself - she didn't want to shame her family by involving the authorities.
From then on, she occasionally phoned her sisters in secret, careful not to tell them where she was living.
Some months later, she learned that her younger sister Banaz, unlike her, had agreed to an arranged marriage when she was 17 to a Midlandsbased Kurdish man, then aged 28, whom her father described as "the David Beckham" of husbands.
But the marriage was a disaster. Banaz, the court would later hear, fled home after two-and-a-half years complaining that her husband was violent, regularly beating her.
"I remember going to see Banaz in secret when she was married and she was terribly unhappy," Bekhal recalls.
"She finally understood why I had run away. I told her she could come and live with me, but she said she couldn't bring further shame on the family. She later told me she only put up with her husband for so long because she wanted to keep our father happy."
What a bitter irony that this young girl continued to try to please the man who would later take her life.
Back home with her family, Banaz was not yet divorced when she met Rahmat Sulemani, from South London, at a family party in 2005.
For a long time they were just good friends before falling in love, but Mahmod did not approve.
Rahmat - despite being a family friend - was not from the same village and not as religious as the Mahmods. He was warned off with threats to his life.
Banaz, 20, was taken to a relative's house in Sheffield, where she was locked up for two weeks and beaten.
When that did not work, a family meeting was called by Banaz's uncle, Ari Mahmod, a wealthy entrepreneur who ran a money transfer business, where it was decided to kill the couple unless they stopped seeing each other.
But Banaz and Rahmat, whose occupation has never been revealed to protect him, and who now lives under an assumed name, continued to meet in secret.
Their fate was sealed when a member of the Kurdish community pictured them kissing in the street in Brixton on his mobile phone.
The first attempt on Banaz's life was on New Year's Eve 2005, when she was taken to her grandmother's house in Wimbledon and plied with brandy by her father, who then came towards her, arms outstretched wearing surgical gloves, as she fought off sleep.
She ran out through the back door when her father briefly left the room, and broke a neighbour's window to try to raise the alarm, cutting her wrists in the process.
The police were called, but the female officer who interviewed her, PC Angela Cornes, didn't believe her. She dismissed Banaz as an attention seeker and even considered charging her with criminal damage for breaking the window.
It was left to Banaz's boyfriend Rahmat to record on his camera phone her chilling testimony, explaining - as she lay in hospital - what had happened and describing how she was "really scared" for her life.
This was played to the jury during the murder trial.
PC Cornes is one of five police officers under investigation in an internal review by Scotland Yard over the handling of the case, for it emerged during the trial that Banaz had told police on at least four occasions that her family was plotting to kill her.
Yet, crucially, she declined the police offer of a place at a refuge, believing no harm would come to her while at home with her mother.
Mahmod never reported his daughter missing to police after she suddenly vanished in January 2006. It was left to Rahmat Sulemani to do that.
When the police first called at the family home on the day she was murdered - January 24 - Mahmod fobbed them off, saying she was out.
Two days later they classed her as high-risk after the family refused to report her missing and launched a full-scale investigation.
Bekhal describes the day she was told by police that her sister's body had been found buried half-naked in a garden - three months after her death - as the very worst of her life.
"What they did to my sister was devilish, despicable and disgusting. Can a family's honour be worth more than a life? I can't bear to think of the way she must have suffered. I had no choice but to stand up in court and give evidence for her."
Today, Bekhal has no contact with her mother, brother or sisters. She cannot risk any communication, in case her new whereabouts under police protection is inadvertently revealed.
More importantly, however, she does not want to put them at risk from the Kurdish community for associating with her.
"I would rather live like this than live in fear," says Bekhal. "I will never be able to tell people who my father is - not only because of the risk to my life but because I'm ashamed. He is the one who has brought dishonour to our family."
Linda are you a googlebot?
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perhaps, although I know not what that means. I'm just a sillywhitewoman in an increasingly mad and very upsetting world
xL
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perhaps, although I know not what that means. I'm just a sillywhitewoman in an increasingly mad and very upsetting world
xL
I don't know why, but I admire your Bizarreness...
Linda = Supa Fly! 8) 8) 8)
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I just have an honest opinion, okay?
The bizarre is the news, not me.
(that last pic is from a muslim city, not London, okay? Go figure
How come?
You wanna explain disrespect?
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And your post is a glowing testament to tolerance. You should be proud. ;D :P :-*
Btw - Who is talking about tolerance of Islam? I'm talking about not preaching sensationalized fear & hate mongering
You should know me by now to know how I feel about most every form of organized religion regardless of the stripe.
You need a woman in a long black robe to rap you on the knuckles with a ruler. :P
No nun ever told me to hate non-christians/non-catholics...suicide bombing classes were'nt taught after recess. If more folks recognized Islam for what it was, we could send these worthless and dangerous folks packing.
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No nun ever told me to hate non-christians/non-catholics
No need to speak when you've already made your message so clear. You should be proud. :P
If more folks recognized Islam for what it was, we could send these worthless and dangerous folks packing.
How ironic! Although I know you meant that disparagingly, ...you do speak the truth.
If more folks recognized Islam for what it was, ...we really could send the worthless fanatical extremists packing.
The Spanish Inquisition did a pretty thorough job of re-writing history, and selectively omitting the enormous influence Islam had on Spain & Europe. In it's wake however, it left a perverse caricature in it's place. When people interfere with things they have no business interfering with, a vacuum is created that zealots love to fill, then, ...just as now. Here we are 600 yrs later, and the same stupid pattern is repeating itself. pathetic. :'(
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Man, you really lack intelligence and knowledge on these topics. I highly suggest you get a formal education, it will work out well for you in the long run.
There was a strong proposal for sharia law to be imposed at some levels in Quebec communities with high muslim populations. Read my links in this post, you will find that as the muslim population grows (fastest growing population in Canada I believe) more and more will gain seats on the councils etc, plus they will have a stronger voting power.
http://www.canadianchristianity.com/cgi-bin/na.cgi?nationalupdates/050602quebec
http://www.wwrn.org/article.php?idd=17008&sec=36&con=5
http://www.jihadwatch.org/dhimmiwatch/archives/006375.php
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2005/05/26/shariah-quebec050526.html
http://www.sikhtimes.com/news_052705b.html
How good are you at denying FACTS?
How good are YOU at denying facts?
Considering those links you posted seem to reflect a unanimous opposition to Sharia law, I ask again... do you really think it would gain a foothold here?
It's very rare that you can get politicians to agree on anything, ...to have them all unanimously opposing something seems like a slam dunk to me. Unlike some countries, we don't change our constitution to bend to the political will of faith groups, she change our laws and practices to align with our constitution.
psst - Hey chicken little... the sky is falling.
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No need to speak when you've already made your message so clear. You should be proud. :P
How ironic! Although I know you meant that disparagingly, ...you do speak the truth.
If more folks recognized Islam for what it was, ...we really could send the worthless fanatical extremists packing.
The Spanish Inquisition did a pretty thorough job of re-writing history, and selectively omitting the enormous influence Islam had on Spain & Europe. In it's wake however, it left a perverse caricature in it's place. When people interfere with things they have no business interfering with, a vacuum is created that zealots love to fill, then, ...just as now. Here we are 600 yrs later, and the same stupid pattern is repeating itself. pathetic. :'(
Man you really are stupid.
If it wasn't for the post-Moor Span you'd still be living in a mud hut in Africa lovey.
You RESPECT the fact muslims conquered Spain? Do you also RESPECT white Europeans conquering the Americas, Australia, India etc?
You see, you are being extremely hypocritical in your stance (you've made a BIG mistake commending muslims on CONQUERING Spain), on the one hand you appreciate the muslims being conquerers, but when it is Spain, it's flat out wrong.
Please tell me why you provide your continual pseudo intellectual protection for islam, for when it is something you know so very little about?
Once again, I'd appreciate it if you could throw off your vail and respond to me instead of acting in cowardice like you usually do.
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How good are YOU at denying facts?
Considering those links you posted seem to reflect a unanimous opposition to Sharia law, I ask again... do you really think it would gain a foothold here?
It's very rare that you can get politicians to agree on anything, ...to have them all unanimously opposing something seems like a slam dunk to me. Unlike some countries, we don't change our constitution to bend to the political will of faith groups, she change our laws and practices to align with our constitution.
psst - Hey chicken little... the sky is falling.
Sorry, what FACTs did I deny? Point me to them please.
My explanation for the future shariaism of Canada was explain in the post you quoted me on.
Please tell me you at least graduated with some degree of education in ENGLISH?
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Man you really are stupid.
If it wasn't for the post-Moor Span you'd still be living in a mud hut in Africa lovey.
Considering the hodge-podge of ethnicities that are my ancestors, i could just as easily been living elsewhere.
You RESPECT the fact muslims conquered Spain? Do you also RESPECT white Europeans conquering the Americas, Australia, India etc?
You see, you are being extremely hypocritical in your stance (you've made a BIG mistake commending muslims on CONQUERING Spain), on the one hand you appreciate the muslims being conquerers, but when it is Spain, it's flat out wrong.
Please tell me why you provide your continual pseudo intellectual protection for islam, for when it is something you know so very little about?
Once again, I'd appreciate it if you could throw off your vail and respond to me instead of acting in cowardice like you usually do.
What I have done is to state fact. I provide no protection for anyone. I simply stated the facts.
Your hostily betrays the fact that you are filled with so much hate, you cannot bear to hear a simple truth that does not mimick your demonization or feed into your hysterical hate mongering.
I've also responded to your redundant rampage in the other thread. I'm not going to waste further time responding to it here to.
The subject of this thread is about a barbaric SOB who murdered his daughter and was rightly put away.
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True I've hijacked it somewhat (apologies), but you provide false facts and contradicting opinions.
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I believe JE just became the "most completely wrong and absolutely clueless" award winner surpassing 240 in the "dilusional championships." Congratulations. I wonder if those around you are anywhere near aware of how out of touch with reality you really are.
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There was a contest? ... Kewl, where's my trophy? :D
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There was a contest? ... Kewl, where's my trophy? :D
it's in brixton's pants. handle it with care.
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it's in brixton's pants. handle it with care.
I could have it mounted onto a plaque, and hung on the wall,
...but then we'd need a magnifying glass to see it.
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I could have it mounted onto a plaque, and hung on the wall,
...but then we'd need a magnifying glass to see it.
not if you work your magic on it before you mount it.
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not if you work your magic on it before you mount it.
sorry, ...I'm not into bestiality. :-X
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sorry, ...I'm not into bestiality. :-X
why do you have to be so hateful to brixton, jag? Remember: make love, not war.
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why do you have to be so hateful to brixton, jag? Remember: make love, not war.
It's not hate. I've only hated two people in my life. What it is is disappointment, sadness, and astonishment... that someone can be that far off the mark and make it to adulthood.
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What it is is disappointment, sadness, and astonishment... that someone can be that far off the mark and make it to adulthood.
The dude spoke or me, ...and for the first time, ...he's right. :D
...now, we just have to keep his hands off any dangerous weapons.
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The dude spoke or me, ...and for the first time, ...he's right. :D
...now, we just have to keep his hands off any dangerous weapons.
I know right? But I'm afraid it's too late.. I personally own over 30 weapons. Lemme put is this wa.. the NRA sends me holiday cards and birthday presents. And I'm sorry to be a let down but I haven't used them to murder anyone lately... I'm not a black man or a criminal.
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after 2 months of that shit I told my mom and dad if they ever took me there again, when they are sleeping im going to take my baseball bat and beat the shit out of them They believed me and never took me there again. After that Islam was more of a suggestion from them.. now they dont say anything at all.
lmao, sounds like a Family Guy episode
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I know right? But I'm afraid it's too late.. I personally own over 30 weapons. Lemme put is this wa.. the NRA sends me holiday cards and birthday presents. And I'm sorry to be a let down but I haven't used them to murder anyone lately... I'm not a black man or a criminal.
That was shaping up as such a witty comeback too, ...but alas, you couldn't help yourself, and you ruined it by the cheap comment at the end.
True to form as always.
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when I was younger my parents use to take me to Sunday school at 8am to study Islam, ) this is after going to school m-f and working for my dad on Saturday).. after 2 months of that shit I told my mom and dad if they ever took me there again, when they are sleeping im going to take my baseball bat and beat the shit out of them They believed me and never took me there again. After that Islam was more of a suggestion from them.. now they dont say anything at all.
Reminds me of my friends who used to have to go to Hebrew school in addition to regular school. They hated it! ;D
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That was shaping up as such a witty comeback too, ...but alas, you couldn't help yourself, and you ruined it by the cheap comment at the end.
True to form as always.
Yeah.. I know you guys HATE the truth.
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Jag, still waiting on which facts I denied? Love you to help clarify those points with me, for after all, knowledge is power!
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You really think Sharia law is going to get a foothold here? ::)
Man, you really lack intelligence and knowledge on these topics. I highly suggest you get a formal education, it will work out well for you in the long run.
There was a strong proposal for sharia law to be imposed at some levels in Quebec communities with high muslim populations. Read my links in this post, you will find that as the muslim population grows (fastest growing population in Canada I believe) more and more will gain seats on the councils etc, plus they will have a stronger voting power.
http://www.canadianchristianity.com/cgi-bin/na.cgi?nationalupdates/050602quebec
http://www.wwrn.org/article.php?idd=17008&sec=36&con=5
http://www.jihadwatch.org/dhimmiwatch/archives/006375.php
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/story/2005/05/26/shariah-quebec050526.html
http://www.sikhtimes.com/news_052705b.html
How good are you at denying FACTS?
Jaguar, still waiting for your comment on these links.
-Hedge
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When I was around 9 I went to visit my relatives in LA...( a much more strict part of my family).. and they had about 20 kids over playing and what not.... I guess a few kids were goofing off so the adults lined every single kid up by having them sit indian style in the living room, then slapped them straight across the face and cursed at them. Took about an hr. Luckily I was a guest so I didnt get hit lol
The religion is terrible, but the culture itself is horrifying. Luckily I was a rebel.. when I was younger my parents use to take me to Sunday school at 8am to study Islam, ) this is after going to school m-f and working for my dad on Saturday).. after 2 months of that shit I told my mom and dad if they ever took me there again, when they are sleeping im going to take my baseball bat and beat the shit out of them They believed me and never took me there again. After that Islam was more of a suggestion from them.. now they dont say anything at all.
Good work bro..
My parents tried the same shit with me, but I'd have none of it.
Fuck Islam and religion in general.
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its funny as shit now. but I cant imagine what horrible effects that damn place would have had on me if I didnt threaten them. I had to do that several times until i was like 18 years old to get them off my back with certain stuff. My dad was raised in Afghanistan and hitting your kids and shit is fine, although he barely did it it would happen... after I started liftin weights I felt strong enough to take him when I was a teenager and I did. Mad respect after that lol
I bet.
I was watching my friends video of Afghanistan, and it showed them handing out coloring books, the Afgjans were helping, then if one of the kids got a little to excited or pushy bam they got slapped, you see the US soldiers faces like shock and awe as they continue passing them out, and the grown ups are like oh no happens all the time.
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I bet.
I was watching my friends video of Afghanistan, and it showed them handing out coloring books, the Afgjans were helping, then if one of the kids got a little to excited or pushy bam they got slapped, you see the US soldiers faces like shock and awe as they continue passing them out, and the grown ups are like oh no happens all the time.
They slap the shit outa them because the kids go nuts...they ask for pens or anything u have hanging off ur body armor. I got my guys camel whips.
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Its not normal to smile and be happy in that culture. Everything is suppose to be moarning, doing for others, obeying your elders...nothing is EVER good enough. I would get straight A's in school and they would be like how come those arent A+s? ( there was no such thing as A+s) How come all of them dont have good comments on the side of the grades?( some teachers were lazy and didnt think it necessary some did)
Oh, thanks not much is spoken about the Middle East, in regards to child development. We are always being taught about the authoritarian teachings of the Asian cultures, and their comradeship approaches.
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wow.....ok so how come they don't assimilate...I'm Italian, my family came from Sisily. Italians act much the same way but we've all assimilated. The Muslims come over here and...nothing. no attempt to adopt anything American..except the educational benefits.
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Its horrifying in many many more respects than it is beneficial. Asian and Middle Eastern teachings are similar actually- especially where my family is from.... some people dont even consider Afghanistan middle east they consider it asian.
A lot of middle easterns are taught to have a pseudo grandiose feeling about themselves and culture.. its in the attitude of the parents. It doesnt matter what you have accomplished, you are better than everyone else secretly because you are middle eastern and a muslim. If we were to have guests that were not middle eastern, actually some times they were m e but not family, everyone would be super nice to their face but as soon as they left my mom would bleech the cups they drank out of and talk shit about them. Its like fuck if you dont want them over here and dont like them so much why do we have to suffer once a week to see these fuckers? Just blow them off! but no you have to show "respect."
As a kid you are taught to obey. Obedience is #1 over anything and everything no matter how crazy the elder is. You dont disrespect an elder. You are expected to work and help anyone and everything no matter what you are doing or what you have planned. Even when guests would come over they acted like they were your father or mother/teacher... here was the big question and I get it to this day.. how come you dont greet me in farsi? you should speak farsi more often its your language. I just stay quiet and let them ramble or if im nto in good mood i let them have it and tell them why should i speak farsi? does this look like afghanistan to you? if you want to speak farsi everywhere you should go back to afghanistan sounds like youd be happier- no one says anything to me now though because they think im crazy and i will embarrass them or beat their ass in front everyone.
If you like to participate in anything but school work, you are looked down upon.. seriously like hardcore. If you are not a Doctor or a Lawyer or if your not studying for that, you are pretty much nothing.. just a fuck up. A lot of times parents compare you to other kids on a daily basis.. how come you arent like this kid? Hes such a good boy.. hes studying to become a surgeon! and he gives half of his paycheck to his mom and dad! Look at the type of kid I have what I do to deserve this? ..... from the time you can understand language they will put the burden of their fuck ups in life on your shoulders. Everything is your fault and youre suppose to work to support them even though when you were a kid they could barely put bread on the table and pay for your schooling! no medical care nothing no support. Youre suppose to work work work and go to school and somehow support them at the same time and then get married once you finish school and have children! All for the sake of them following the ideal islamic culture and being able to show it off in front of their relatives at tea time.
If you confront them about their attitude its either you are hanging around too many americans and youre a non believer or they mock you and get super upset.. here comes the name calling and the threats.
Most kids go through college and live with their parents until they are like 30 years old or older, and then they are so brainwashed that they adopt the culture for themself and they dont know any better so they get married and have kids and do the same shit but a little more watered down. I know this one lady, her dad was a professor at purdue, he was a radiologist earlier on... then she became a radiologist, and then her brother became a radiologist.... serious? All three of you wanted to be radiologists? Its an accomplishment but I know thats not what they wanted to do lol
After these people get their degrees, they become materialistic as alllll hell. Everything is about what you can buy. Mercedez, BMW, Louis Gucci Versace million dollar house.. its all about money after that and keeping up with the joneses.( this part is more modern day second generation middle eastern/persians/afghans)
One of my relatives was on wall street and made MILLIONS, like retarded amount.. then he left new york and lives here in san diego, bought one million dollar house for his parents, and one millino dollar house for himself got his dad and himself 5 series bmws at the same time. he owns a mortgage company and works 14 hrs a day to support his mom and dad and himself. fuck kind of life is that? his little brother just got an arranged marriage and his mommy and daddy still call all the shots. I went to their party because I havent seen them in a loong time, men in one room, ladies in the other. I felt so fucking awkward i just left.
anyways im rambling, i hate the fucking culture..worthless...i hope it gets destroyed like the native americans.
GULP....Rings true, and I'll be staying with a muslim family friend while I go to a interview., haha oh crap.
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wow.....ok so how come they don't assimilate...I'm Italian, my family came from Sisily. Italians act much the same way but we've all assimilated. The Muslims come over here and...nothing. no attempt to adopt anything American..except the educational benefits.
How assimilated were the 1st. generation of Italian emigrées, ...probably not very. :-\
As with any other group, ...it usually takes a generation or two.
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Pretty friggen goddam..my great uncle helped tile the old Boston Garden..right off the boat. He got an award when they took it down. Anyway..they were all made to speak English at home..go to school....obey the law etc. Irish as well. Koreans own businesses.....the list is long.
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Pretty friggen goddam..my great uncle helped tile the old Boston Garden..right off the boat. He got an award when they took it down. Anyway..they were all made to speak English at home..go to school....obey the law etc. Irish as well. Koreans own businesses.....the list is long.
Oh ok, ...so being a labourer makes one assimilated then?
Well then you should have no fear of those Mexicans streaming across your southern borders.
I hear they're really assimilated picking worms, fruits, doing construction etc.,
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Oh ok, ...so being a labourer makes one assimilated then?
Well then you should have no fear of those Mexicans streaming across your southern borders.
I hear they're really assimilated picking worms, fruits, doing construction etc.,
times have changed!
plus I don't see mexicans recieving awards for doing my lawn, also how are they assimilating into culture when they don't even speak english.
Mexicans needs to get with the program by the year 2050 it is estimated that 1/3 of the world will speak english language...while we will have the mexicans still behind senor
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Oh ok, ...so being a labourer makes one assimilated then?
Well then you should have no fear of those Mexicans streaming across your southern borders.
I hear they're really assimilated picking worms, fruits, doing construction etc.,
Well I would think the difference is when a civilized culture assimilates into another.. versus the barbaric and backwards arab world trying to assimilate into anything else.