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Getbig Main Boards => General Topics => Topic started by: Eyeball Chambers on December 28, 2008, 01:40:42 PM
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Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open. I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".
WTF?
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Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open. I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".
WTF?
Ah yes...the old "bust you in the mouth" school of discipline....good stuff.
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worry about yourself and not others
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worry about yourself and not others
We'll all remember that next time you post one of your idiotic questions.
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I believe a good beating help a lot to educate kids. And no im not joking, as i read somewhere, greet them when they do right, and beat them when they do wrong.
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i carry a switch blade for when my son doesn't say ''thanks sooo much pappa''.... he has a biiiiggg smile from ear to ear......really!
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I believe a good beating help a lot to educate kids. And no im not joking, as i read somewhere, greet them when they do right, and beat them when they do wrong.
wow.
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Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open. I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".
WTF?
lol. i do that!...
me and my son have a routine where i abuse him verbally whenever theres an old lady or someone around...its hilarious to see their faces!
like- wait till we get home, im going to take the belt to you and draw blood...
and he replies "no dad, ive still got stitches from the last beating".
fwiw ive never hit my kid in his 13 years and he's a legend. all beatings teach is violence. if you need to beat then you're doing something wrong.
ive got a daughter too...shes not old enough for the "routine" yet...but im sure we'll get there.
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True story. One time I heard a parent say to their kid, "Keep this up and you'll be reading all summer."
I think it is the worst sentence I ever heard.
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Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open. I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".
WTF?
I got popped in the mouth by my mom a few times. I turned out just fine. Maybe a few pops here and there from parents may actually teach them a thing or two before becoming total deviants.
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my kids know that if they fuck up the cards will be yanked in a ny minute
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worry about yourself and not others
exactly.
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You can't earn respect beating it into someone. You have to earn respect the old fashioned way. You earn your child's respect by being a mentor and role model. Just because you fathered a child doesn't mean they have to respect you -- that's the biggest mistake bad parents make. They assume. Kids don't owe you shit. But they will respect you if you are worthy of respect.
Beating = fear-based environment. Eventually, the child grows enough to no longer fear you, then they lash out with the fury of years of built up anxiety. The result is usually none too pleasant.
We got beatings as kids. I would never raise a hand to my kids though. I love them too much to fail them that badly as a parent.
Good post
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You can't earn respect beating it into someone. You have to earn respect the old fashioned way. You earn your child's respect by being a mentor and role model. Just because you fathered a child doesn't mean they have to respect you -- that's the biggest mistake bad parents make. They assume. Kids don't owe you shit. But they will respect you if you are worthy of respect.
Beating = fear-based environment. Eventually, the child grows enough to no longer fear you, then they lash out with the fury of years of built up anxiety. The result is usually none too pleasant.
We got beatings as kids. I would never raise a hand to my kids though. I love them too much to fail them that badly as a parent.
couldnt agree more. thats the exact model i use. you are so right when you say that respect must be earnt- its not given.
im proud to have brought my kids up the way i have- it hasnt been easy, but the fruit is/will be worth it i can tell already.
i admit that one time my son went through a phase where he was hitting me all the time- he was about 3. i told him that if he did it one more time id hit him back. (this was after he had a good time to go through this phase)...he hit me about a day later and i hit him back quicker than he even realised he'd hit me...the shock scared him out of the habit straight away. classic.
(dont worry, it wasnt brutal or hard- it was just for effect).
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http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/c.cgi?u=beat
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I heard an old friend of mine in the US killed his abusive father with a shotgun. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
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You can't earn respect beating it into someone. You have to earn respect the old fashioned way. You earn your child's respect by being a mentor and role model. Just because you fathered a child doesn't mean they have to respect you -- that's the biggest mistake bad parents make. They assume. Kids don't owe you shit. But they will respect you if you are worthy of respect.
Beating = fear-based environment. Eventually, the child grows enough to no longer fear you, then they lash out with the fury of years of built up anxiety. The result is usually none too pleasant.
We got beatings as kids. I would never raise a hand to my kids though. I love them too much to fail them that badly as a parent.
respect isnt something you get, its something you give.
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Today I heard a guy call his son "Dumb Ass" for pushing a door you have to pull to open. I also heard a woman tell her son to behave before she "busted his mouth".
WTF?
Were you with the dad for 8 hours prior to hearing those 2 words?
Were you with the mom for 4 minutes prior to hearing those 3 words?
If not, STFU. You have no idea what you are talking about.
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I was beaten by my father on occasion and I don't think it affected me negatively.
He didn't do it frequently at all; only when I acted up severely.
If I did something major I remember getting the metal side of the belt until I had bleeding welts on my back.
Once, after getting suspended from school, I got a punch across the face.
The ultimate result is that, today, I can be injured, but I can't really feel physical pain.
Now in some cultures, it is common to beat kids for the slightest infractions.
I think that this sort of discipline without patience breeds criminals -
especially amongst those with the unfortunate combination of low intelligence and high testosterone.
You have to remember that, parents set the tone for their children as far as personal moral standards.
So if you have a child that is the product of such an environment, it's not going to take much to set them off as an adult.
Prisons are filled with such impulsive types - the result of bad parenting.
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I was beaten by my father on occasion and I don't think it affected me negatively.
He didn't do it frequently at all; only when I acted up severely.
If I did something major I remember getting the metal side of the belt until I had bleeding welts on my back.
Once, after getting suspended from school, I got a punch across the face.
The ultimate result is that, today, I can be injured, but I can't really feel physical pain.
Now in some cultures, it is common to beat kids for the slightest infractions.
I think that this sort of discipline without patience breeds criminals -
especially amongst those with the unfortunate combination of low intelligence and high testosterone.
You have to remember that, parents set the tone for their children as far as personal moral standards.
So if you have a child that is the product of such an environment, it's not going to take much to set them off as an adult.
Prisons are filled with such impulsive types - the result of bad parenting.
Happens in a lot in Asian countries. Its more of a disciplinary thing than being malicious (although that happens as well) A lot of "old school" Chinese and Indian parents use beatings to "motivate" their kids to study harder.
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Happens a lot in Asian countries. Its more of a disciplinary thing than being malicious (although that happens as well) A lot of "old school" Chinese and Indian parents use beatings to "motivate" their kids to study harder.
I can picture them using severe discipline when their children act up or make poor grades, but I wonder if it's a constant thing.
In such cultures, the threat of a beating probably looms over the child's head as a sort of motivation to study hard;
however, I don't see them slapping the kid across the face in the movie theatre because they were talking loud.
I'm not sure though; which is true?
Are you saying Asian/Indian culture = frequent+harsh discipline or rare+harsh discipline?
If it's that latter, then that's similar to my own upbringing.
Also, it may be the case that their children just aren't compelled to act disruptively;
so the frequency of discipline may be less - though severe as any.
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i carry a switch blade for when my son doesn't say ''thanks sooo much pappa''.... he has a biiiiggg smile from ear to ear......really!
Why sooooooooo seeeeeerious??
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I can picture them using severe discipline when their children act up or make poor grades, but I wonder if it's a constant thing.
In such cultures, the threat of a beating probably looms over the children's head as a sort of motivation to study hard;
however, I don't see them slapping the kid across the face in the movie theatre because they were talking loud.
I'm not sure though; which is true?
Are you saying Asian/Indian culture = frequent+harsh discipline or rare+harsh discipline?
If it's that latter, then that's similar to my own upbringing.
Also, it may be the case that their children just aren't compelled to act disruptively;
so the frequency of discipline may be less - though severe as any.
Back in University a few Asian students told me about the beating they received as kids by their parents and in school. It wasn't harsh (according to them) just a painful motivator or, in most cases, used when they acted up excessively. It was more of a case of inducing good habits while discouraging the bad ones. In their cases the "motivation" stopped once they were teens because by then they were much more mature and had acquired good study habits and behavior skills. I guess it was a case of "spare the rod and spoil the child".
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Back in University a few Asian students told me about the beating they received as kids by their parents and in school. It wasn't harsh (according to them) just a painful motivator or, in most cases, used when they acted up excessively. It was more of a case of inducing good habits while discouraging the bad ones. In their cases the "motivation" stopped once they were teens because by then they were much more mature and had acquired good study habits and behavior skills. I guess it was a case of "spare the rod and spoil the child".
I think that sort of 'moderate' corporal punishment is the best method, because it teaches tact.
Children need to learn that, when they push certain limits, they are putting themselves in a dangerous situation.
Observing the children of parents that don't practice any corporal punishment,
it's clear that they will grow up to be spoiled brats with a sense of entitlement.
Unaware of the possible physical consequences of their haughty attitude,
they could be in for a rude surprise when interacting with societies more impulsive types.
Now of course there are many other factors at play here, when talking about psychological development -
genetic disposition being the most obvious.
Constant and severe beatings will just make you angry at the world.
In the case of the Asian/Indian students, they didn't grow up hating everyone,
because they were capable of recognising that the beatings they received were well deserved.
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In the case of the Asian/Indian students, they didn't grow up hating everyone,
because they were capable of recognising that the beatings they received were well deserved.
Well....maybe not always deserved because kids should have a chance to enjoy their childhood as well instead of being subjected to rigorous study sessions but nevertheless none of them (the ones I know) feel any bitterness towards their parents. They understood the mindset behind it as they got older.
In countries like China and India the competition to get into good schools is fierce. The demand outstrips supply and hard work is a necessity.
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Well....maybe not always deserved because kids should have a chance to enjoy their childhood as well instead of being subjected to rigorous study sessions but nevertheless none of them (the ones I know) feel any bitterness towards their parents. They understood the mindset behind it as they got older.
In countries like China and India the competition to get into good schools is fierce. The demand outstrips supply and hard work is a necessity.
Agreed.
I think society needs to be reformed.
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i think that when someone in a position of power inflicts hurt on another- physically, then it shows lack of control of emotion on their part and inability to design a more appropriate punishment or lesson.
theres plenty of ways to punish people.
thats why jail is used and not torture or the firing squad..or the lash..etc..
i know of many instances of kids growing up with "the belt"..and i cant think of any of them that arent bitter about it and wanted to get their own back..
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if kids nowadays had been beaten more they wouldnt be that fucking stupid.
Wether youre WAY TOO COOL with you kids or WAY TOO HARD, you're doing it wrong, it's a mix between the two, it has to be balanced.
IMHO spoiled kids who never feared ANYTHING from anyone are a lost cause and society cant get anything positive from em anymore.
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i had NO corporal punishment in my house
beat your kids or they will end up like me
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i had NO corporal punishment in my house
beat your kids or they will end up like me
exactly.
if you dont want your kids to end like johnny who 's a gay 165 lbs waiter at 35 years old , beat them up when required.
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exactly.
if you dont want your kids to end like johnny who 's a gay 165 lbs waiter at 3526 years old , beat them up when required.
fixed
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fixed
my bad.
are you also doing drugs by any chance? cause to me you really look like you're 35.
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They fuck you up, your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats
Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
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i had NO corporal punishment in my house
beat your kids or they will end up like me
HAHAHAHAHA
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my bad.
are you also doing drugs by any chance? cause to me you really look like you're 35.
I think the fact that I look like a anorexic Dwayne Johnson makes me look 35
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i think that when someone in a position of power inflicts hurt on another- physically, then it shows lack of control of emotion on their part and inability to design a more appropriate punishment or lesson.
theres plenty of ways to punish people.
thats why jail is used and not torture or the firing squad..or the lash..etc..
i know of many instances of kids growing up with "the belt"..and i cant think of any of them that arent bitter about it and wanted to get their own back..
Agree 100%
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Were you with the dad for 8 hours prior to hearing those 2 words?
Were you with the mom for 4 minutes prior to hearing those 3 words?
If not, STFU. You have no idea what you are talking about.
exactly!
i don't believe in hitting or degrading your children at all but they can test your limits. you will never know until you have a child of your own. i am not trying to justify this situation as they could have been fuktards parents, but you don't know what lead up to the point that made them snap.
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My mother hit me when I was younger but stopped around 12. The slaps I got were well deserved because when I got them it usually because I acted way out of line. When I was younger, the occasional beatings made me feel pretty angry and resentful, usually at my parents, not at the world or anything. However, I can't deny that they didn't serve their purpose. As I became older I let go of any resentment of the beatings because they were done for disciplinary reasons and not abusive ones. I realize that many of disciplinary qualities that differentiate me from fellow students, friends, colleagues are a direct result of my upbringing. For example, I don't think I've missed a class in three years.
The thing is that in the American culture disciplinary beatings do not exist, but abuse sure does. How many times have you guys seen a black or hispanic woman treating her young son/daughter like shit for no reason? Or over exaggerating to minor offenses in very harsh ways, while STILL failing to instill any sort of reasoning or understanding in the child's mind?
There's also the types that let their kids roam wild. While these kids may be better off to succeed due to social position in the greater food chain and greater overall ability than the latter groups discussed, they will not be reaching their maximum potential. They'll have a grand sense of entitlement and have depressive anxiety problems that stem from only minor things.
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My mother hit me when I was younger but stopped around 12. The slaps I got were well deserved because when I got them it usually because I acted way out of line. When I was younger, the occasional beatings made me feel pretty angry and resentful, usually at my parents, not at the world or anything. However, I can't deny that they didn't serve their purpose. As I became older I let go of any resentment of the beatings because they were done for disciplinary reasons and not abusive ones. I realize that many of disciplinary qualities that differentiate me from fellow students, friends, colleagues are a direct result of my upbringing. For example, I don't think I've missed a class in three years.
The thing is that in the American culture disciplinary beatings do not exist, but abuse sure does. How many times have you guys seen a black or hispanic woman treating her young son/daughter like shit for no reason? Or over exaggerating to minor offenses in very harsh ways, while STILL failing to instill any sort of reasoning or understanding in the child's mind?
There's also the types that let their kids roam wild. While these kids may be better off to succeed due to social position in the greater food chain and greater overall ability than the latter groups discussed, they will not be reaching their maximum potential. They'll have a grand sense of entitlement and have depressive anxiety problems that stem from only minor things.
You're a very intelligent man CJ. I think we had similar upbringings.
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I use 'time out' for discipline with my 2 year old.
however, there are times when i have to slap his hand - when time out isn't impactful enough. For example, when he decides to run into the street, or shove fingers into electrical sockets just to get a reaction.
It doesn't really hurt. he's more upset that I did it. But he stops that behavior. Slapping too. He used to cock back and just punch the person who denied him something, when he was only 1 year old. Little temper. I slapped his hand when nobody else did. So he stopped hitting me and started hitting everyone else lol...
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The problem with some parents is they believe their kids are a possession...The sooner you treat kids like an equal human being, the better...If you can't get your kid to listen to you using just the mind, then you got problems...
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The problem with some parents is they believe their kids are a possession...The sooner you treat kids like an equal human being, the better...If you can't get your kid to listen to you using just the mind, then you got problems...
Yep. once the kids sees you're on the same "team" - just you and him against the world - he'll be on board with most things you do.
When me and the rugrat go to the park, we're on a mission to slide, swings, etc. he gets there and knows our purposes for the trip. Same with shopping. He helps me make list, then pulls things off shelf. if he falls off task, I ask "Don't you want us to have food?" and he usually gets back on the team. he loves appoval like that.
when you see parents dragging their kids around, treating them like pets, it's terrible. If the kid isn't on the same team, then go home and talk abuot it and come back when he is. Chances are, he'll be so bored at home that he'll eventually come around.
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I believe a good beating help a lot to educate kids. And no im not joking, as i read somewhere, greet them when they do right, and beat them when they do wrong.
QFT'ed a successful man by another successful one. Show them respect and they will act accordingly.
FFS, we've been doing this for 5000years... do you need a manual....?
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Never hit my kid and never had to. First of all when they are too young to understand then hitting them serves no purpose but to vent your own anger and it creates confusion in a child. When they are old enough to understand, sit them down and explain things to them. This is your responsibiblty as a parent. Too many parents have no patients.
On a side note a 14 year old child in Uganda this past March was paddled in school and died as a result of a pre-existing heart condition.
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Never hit my kid and never had to. First of all when they are too young to understand then hitting them serves no purpose but to vent your own anger and it creates confusion in a child. When they are old enough to understand, sit them down and explain things to them. This is your responsibiblty as a parent. Too many parents have no patients.
On a side note a 14 year old child in Uganda this past March was paddled in school and died as a result of a pre-existing heart condition.
What's "paddled"? sorry english isn't my "dad's" language...
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What's "paddled"? sorry english isn't my "dad's" language...
http://www.yourdictionary.com/paddled Ever heard of google?
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http://www.yourdictionary.com/paddled Ever heard of google?
like a boat paddle... too obvious to be right... sorry too busy eating every 1.435345345 hours and checking my glucagon levels to google anything...
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A common mistake we make is to blame other peoples actions on their own personailty, and not look at the situation. When we do something ourselves, we justify it by situational and saying "everybody would act like that if they were in my situation". Speeding for example. Someone flies past us doing 100, we say they're a jerk, inconsiderate of other people, might even blame their parents for not teaching them the rules of the road. However when your father is having a heart attack or seizure, or your wife is having a baby, you dont think twice about speeding. The same mistake can be made with parents and their child. Maybe the parents are treating the child bad because the child induced it, maybe the child is acting bad because the parents were treating them badly. Who knows? Is the bad in the child bringing out the bad in the parents or is bad parents making the child act bad. We should always examine the whole problem and not just classify someone as a "bad parent" "bad person" "jerk" etc.
With that being said, now about Beating children. Violence is always the easy way out. I was "disciplined" as a child. Whipped, slapped, hit, etc for my "bad behaviors", most of which I had no clue why they was hitting me. I learned not to trust my parents, i didnt get too close to them, they had a bad temper that i wanted to avoid. They would whip me when i was very young because i would not listen to them, i ignored them, but later they found out I was deaf, I was deaf until age 3. I didn't enjoy being around my parents, if a bad experience didnt arise with me being around them, bad memories of such experiences did. Children should be loved, not raised like cattle. I dont remember the last time ive touched (hugged, shook hands, etc) any of my parents. I plan on having a child of my own, and try to do a better job.
I guess Machiavelli was right, fear is a greater emotion than love. How sad.
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we have some great "family men" here.. ::)
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The problem with some parents is they believe their kids are a possession...The sooner you treat kids like an equal human being, the better...If you can't get your kid to listen to you using just the mind, then you got problems...
WWWOOOOOAAAHHHH!!!!... man that is an excellent post and one ive said a few times since ive been a parent- to other new parents- or expecting parents..
they carry on about "their kid" and "my boy did this" and "i wont let my kids do such and such, or " i teach mine..and so on..
the biggest thing- and probably the most confronting, and upsetting, is realising that even from day 1- you dont own "your" kids..they are little individuals that you raise the best you can.
as they grow up, they show you bit by bit that you never really owned them, and they were never really "yours". Alot of people struggle with that, but i think its a good mindset as it does allow that balance.
sure, theyre family...but you dont and cant own them, just like they cant own you.
i think this thread has been one of the great GB threads and shows that GB is not just about a bunch of dumb, psycho meat heads...
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we have some great "family men" here.. ::)
i was thinking the same thing, but without the rolling of the eyes.
no reason you cant have good morals and think about what you do objectively, AND be a bit of a lad/meathead....good stuff i reckon.
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I believe a good beating help a lot to educate kids. And no im not joking, as i read somewhere, greet them when they do right, and beat them when they do wrong.
biggest mistake you can make ...
I hope if you ever have kids you will raise them properly
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I think you should use all non physical options first. If that doesn't work then beat that guy. If that doesn't work then off to military school. If that doesn't work then fuck em, out they go to foster care or on the street.
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I think you should use all non physical options first. If that doesn't work then beat that ####. If that doesn't work then off to military school. If that doesn't work then fuck em, out they go to foster care or on the street.
translation: "this is my lifestoryand look how I turned out " :-\
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You can't earn respect beating it into someone. You have to earn respect the old fashioned way. You earn your child's respect by being a mentor and role model. Just because you fathered a child doesn't mean they have to respect you -- that's the biggest mistake bad parents make. They assume. Kids don't owe you shit. But they will respect you if you are worthy of respect.
Beating = fear-based environment. Eventually, the child grows enough to no longer fear you, then they lash out with the fury of years of built up anxiety. The result is usually none too pleasant.
We got beatings as kids. I would never raise a hand to my kids though. I love them too much to fail them that badly as a parent.
Bad Parents: Underrated Topic.
More often than not, Mothers OR Fathers deal with their own children the way you see a supervisor deals with a employee by reinforcing the notion that one person being the child, is at the mercy of the adult just by living at home with the Mother or Father. That is the way that parenting has evolved in the environment that is attached to what going to school stands for which is much more than being just so-called "school smart". I am mentioning this based on the facts of life since one of them is that there have always been legendary bullies in many schools who are about equal to a person who has the power to be the boss of a person who works under him.
By simply mentioning what it takes to earn respect the old-fashioned way, that makes me believe in the old-school values that different types of people have when they are raised with the longevity that gives them the life span to be responsibly for themselves by the time they at least become college age adults.
Being a mentor and a role model is a label that comes from more than a parent, especially when the words mentor and role model really work in significant school settings where the teacher, instructor, guidance counselor, or professor/philosopher is actually at least trying to be a mentor or a role model. My point is that many parents do not care for their children enough and that is part of the reason why they fail their own kids being a son or a daughter.