Author Topic: Bad Parents  (Read 4025 times)

James Phoenix

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #25 on: December 29, 2008, 12:01:03 AM »
Well....maybe not always deserved because kids should have a chance to enjoy their childhood as well instead of being subjected to rigorous study sessions but nevertheless none of them (the ones I know) feel any bitterness towards their parents. They understood the mindset behind it as they got older. 

In countries like China and India the competition to get into good schools is fierce. The demand outstrips supply and hard work is a necessity.

Agreed.

I think society needs to be reformed.
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disco_stu

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #26 on: January 07, 2009, 07:12:55 PM »
i think that when someone in a position of power inflicts hurt on another- physically, then it shows lack of control of emotion on their part and inability to design a more appropriate punishment or lesson.

theres plenty of ways to punish people.

thats why jail is used and not torture or the firing squad..or the lash..etc..

i know of many instances of kids growing up with "the belt"..and i cant think of any of them that arent bitter about it and wanted to get their own back..


flagadajones

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #27 on: January 07, 2009, 07:23:24 PM »
if kids nowadays had been beaten more they wouldnt be that fucking stupid.


Wether youre WAY TOO COOL with you kids or WAY TOO HARD, you're doing it wrong, it's a mix between the two, it has to be balanced.


IMHO spoiled kids who never feared ANYTHING from anyone are a lost cause and society cant get anything positive from em anymore.

johnnynoname

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #28 on: January 07, 2009, 07:24:33 PM »
i had NO corporal punishment in my house

beat your kids or they will end up like me

flagadajones

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #29 on: January 07, 2009, 07:30:21 PM »
i had NO corporal punishment in my house

beat your kids or they will end up like me


exactly.

if you dont want your kids to end like johnny who 's a gay 165 lbs waiter at 35 years old , beat them up when required.

johnnynoname

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #30 on: January 07, 2009, 07:31:53 PM »

exactly.

if you dont want your kids to end like johnny who 's a gay 165 lbs waiter at 3526 years old , beat them up when required.


fixed

flagadajones

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #31 on: January 07, 2009, 07:33:06 PM »
fixed

my bad.

are you also doing drugs by any chance? cause to me you really look like you're 35.

TrueGrit

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #32 on: January 07, 2009, 07:34:50 PM »

They fuck you up, your mum and dad
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
O

Eyeball Chambers

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #33 on: January 07, 2009, 07:35:05 PM »
i had NO corporal punishment in my house

beat your kids or they will end up like me

HAHAHAHAHA
S

johnnynoname

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #34 on: January 07, 2009, 07:36:18 PM »
my bad.

are you also doing drugs by any chance? cause to me you really look like you're 35.

I think the fact that I look like a anorexic Dwayne Johnson makes me look 35

Eyeball Chambers

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #35 on: January 07, 2009, 07:36:49 PM »
i think that when someone in a position of power inflicts hurt on another- physically, then it shows lack of control of emotion on their part and inability to design a more appropriate punishment or lesson.

theres plenty of ways to punish people.

thats why jail is used and not torture or the firing squad..or the lash..etc..

i know of many instances of kids growing up with "the belt"..and i cant think of any of them that arent bitter about it and wanted to get their own back..

Agree 100%
S

11venthhour

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #36 on: January 07, 2009, 07:59:05 PM »
Were you with the dad for 8 hours prior to hearing those 2 words?

Were you with the mom for 4 minutes prior to hearing those 3 words?

If not, STFU. You have no idea what you are talking about.



exactly!

i don't believe in hitting or degrading your children at all but they can test your limits. you will never know until you have a child of your own. i am not trying to justify this situation as they could have been fuktards parents, but you don't know what lead up to the point that made them snap.





Camel Jockey

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #37 on: January 07, 2009, 08:21:22 PM »
My mother hit me when I was younger but stopped around 12. The slaps I got were well deserved because when I got them it usually because I acted way out of line. When I was younger, the occasional beatings made me feel pretty angry and resentful, usually at my parents, not at the world or anything. However, I can't deny that they didn't serve their purpose. As I became older I let go of any resentment of the beatings because they were done for disciplinary reasons and not abusive ones. I realize that many of disciplinary qualities that differentiate me from fellow students, friends, colleagues are a direct result of my upbringing. For example, I don't think I've missed a class in three years.

The thing is that in the American culture disciplinary beatings do not exist, but abuse sure does. How many times have you guys seen a black or hispanic woman treating her young son/daughter like shit for no reason? Or over exaggerating to minor offenses in very harsh ways, while STILL failing to instill any sort of reasoning or understanding in the child's mind?

There's also the types that let their kids roam wild. While these kids may be better off to succeed due to social position in the greater food chain and greater overall ability than the latter groups discussed, they will not be reaching their maximum potential. They'll have a grand sense of entitlement and have depressive anxiety problems that stem from only minor things.

Eyeball Chambers

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #38 on: January 07, 2009, 08:26:46 PM »
My mother hit me when I was younger but stopped around 12. The slaps I got were well deserved because when I got them it usually because I acted way out of line. When I was younger, the occasional beatings made me feel pretty angry and resentful, usually at my parents, not at the world or anything. However, I can't deny that they didn't serve their purpose. As I became older I let go of any resentment of the beatings because they were done for disciplinary reasons and not abusive ones. I realize that many of disciplinary qualities that differentiate me from fellow students, friends, colleagues are a direct result of my upbringing. For example, I don't think I've missed a class in three years.

The thing is that in the American culture disciplinary beatings do not exist, but abuse sure does. How many times have you guys seen a black or hispanic woman treating her young son/daughter like shit for no reason? Or over exaggerating to minor offenses in very harsh ways, while STILL failing to instill any sort of reasoning or understanding in the child's mind?

There's also the types that let their kids roam wild. While these kids may be better off to succeed due to social position in the greater food chain and greater overall ability than the latter groups discussed, they will not be reaching their maximum potential. They'll have a grand sense of entitlement and have depressive anxiety problems that stem from only minor things.

You're a very intelligent man CJ.  I think we had similar upbringings.
S

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #39 on: January 07, 2009, 08:28:51 PM »
I use 'time out' for discipline with my 2 year old.

however, there are times when i have to slap his hand - when time out isn't impactful enough.  For example, when he decides to run into the street, or shove fingers into electrical sockets just to get a reaction.

It doesn't really hurt.  he's more upset that I did it.  But he stops that behavior.  Slapping too.  He used to cock back and just punch the person who denied him something, when he was only 1 year old.  Little temper.  I slapped his hand when nobody else did.  So he stopped hitting me and started hitting everyone else lol...

TechnoViking

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #40 on: January 07, 2009, 10:17:44 PM »
The problem with some parents is they believe their kids are a possession...The sooner you treat kids like an equal human being, the better...If you can't get your kid to listen to you using just the mind, then you got problems...

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #41 on: January 07, 2009, 10:40:57 PM »
The problem with some parents is they believe their kids are a possession...The sooner you treat kids like an equal human being, the better...If you can't get your kid to listen to you using just the mind, then you got problems...

Yep.  once the kids sees you're on the same "team" - just you and him against the world - he'll be on board with most things you do.

When me and the rugrat go to the park, we're on a mission to slide, swings, etc.  he gets there and knows our purposes for the trip.  Same with shopping.  He helps me make list, then pulls things off shelf.  if he falls off task, I ask "Don't you want us to have food?" and he usually gets back on the team.  he loves appoval like that. 



when you see parents dragging their kids around, treating them like pets, it's terrible.  If the kid isn't on the same team, then go home and talk abuot it and come back when he is.  Chances are, he'll be so bored at home that he'll eventually come around.

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #42 on: January 07, 2009, 10:43:17 PM »
I believe a good beating help a lot to educate kids. And no im not joking, as i read somewhere, greet them when they do right, and beat them when they do wrong.

QFT'ed a successful man by another successful one. Show them respect and they will act accordingly.

FFS, we've been doing this for 5000years... do you need a manual....?


Disgusted

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #43 on: January 07, 2009, 10:53:37 PM »
Never hit my kid and never had to. First of all when they are too young to understand then hitting them serves no purpose but to vent your own anger and it creates confusion in a child. When they are old enough to understand, sit them down and explain things to them. This is your responsibiblty as a parent. Too many parents have no patients.

On a side note a 14 year old child in Uganda this past March was paddled in school and died as a result of a pre-existing heart condition.

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #44 on: January 07, 2009, 10:57:51 PM »
Never hit my kid and never had to. First of all when they are too young to understand then hitting them serves no purpose but to vent your own anger and it creates confusion in a child. When they are old enough to understand, sit them down and explain things to them. This is your responsibiblty as a parent. Too many parents have no patients.

On a side note a 14 year old child in Uganda this past March was paddled in school and died as a result of a pre-existing heart condition.

What's "paddled"? sorry english isn't my "dad's" language...

Disgusted

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #45 on: January 07, 2009, 11:13:45 PM »
What's "paddled"? sorry english isn't my "dad's" language...


http://www.yourdictionary.com/paddled Ever heard of google?

Alex23

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #46 on: January 07, 2009, 11:15:40 PM »

http://www.yourdictionary.com/paddled Ever heard of google?

like a boat paddle... too obvious to be right... sorry too busy eating every 1.435345345 hours and checking my glucagon levels to google anything...

Mr. Magoo

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #47 on: January 08, 2009, 07:49:44 AM »
A common mistake we make is to blame other peoples actions on their own personailty, and not look at the situation. When we do something ourselves, we justify it by situational and saying "everybody would act like that if they were in my situation". Speeding for example. Someone flies past us doing 100, we say they're a jerk, inconsiderate of other people, might even blame their parents for not teaching them the rules of the road. However when your father is having a heart attack or seizure, or your wife is having a baby, you dont think twice about speeding. The same mistake can be made with parents and their child. Maybe the parents are treating the child bad because the child induced it, maybe the child is acting bad because the parents were treating them badly. Who knows? Is the bad in the child bringing out the bad in the parents or is bad parents making the child act bad. We should always examine the whole problem and not just classify someone as a "bad parent" "bad person" "jerk" etc.

With that being said, now about Beating children. Violence is always the easy way out. I was "disciplined" as a child. Whipped, slapped, hit, etc for my "bad behaviors", most of which I had no clue why they was hitting me. I learned not to trust my parents, i didnt get too close to them, they had a bad temper that i wanted to avoid. They would whip me when i was very young because i would not listen to them, i ignored them, but later they found out I was deaf, I was deaf until age 3. I didn't enjoy being around my parents, if a bad experience didnt arise with me being around them, bad memories of such experiences did. Children should be loved, not raised like cattle. I dont remember the last time ive touched (hugged, shook hands, etc) any of my parents. I plan on having a child of my own, and try to do a better job.

I guess Machiavelli was right, fear is a greater emotion than love. How sad.

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #48 on: January 08, 2009, 08:28:29 AM »
we have some great "family men" here.. ::)

disco_stu

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Re: Bad Parents
« Reply #49 on: January 10, 2009, 03:13:08 AM »
The problem with some parents is they believe their kids are a possession...The sooner you treat kids like an equal human being, the better...If you can't get your kid to listen to you using just the mind, then you got problems...

WWWOOOOOAAAHHHH!!!!... man that is an excellent post and one ive said a few times since ive been a parent- to other new parents- or expecting parents..

they carry on about "their kid" and "my boy did this" and "i wont let my kids do such and such, or " i teach mine..and so on..

the biggest thing- and probably the most confronting, and upsetting, is realising that even from day 1- you dont own "your" kids..they are little individuals that you raise the best you can.

as they grow up, they show you bit by bit that you never really owned them, and they were never really "yours". Alot of people struggle with that, but i think its a good mindset as it does allow that balance.

sure, theyre family...but you dont and cant own them, just like they cant own you.

i think this thread has been one of the great GB threads and shows that GB is not just about a bunch of dumb, psycho meat heads...