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Getbig Misc Discussion Boards => The Getbiggers Board - The Lounge => Topic started by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 10:56:58 PM

Title: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 10:56:58 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he is 50% of all the bodyfat in the world (including the animal world).
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 10:58:31 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that his mom got split in half during his birth.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: onlyme on March 22, 2009, 10:59:22 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he is 50% of all the bodyfat in the world (including the animal world).

Go to bed and quite thinking about me.  It is really creepy.  I am not gay so move on.  PM Cumdrum he is more your type.  And you guys look alot alike.  So quite it.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:00:44 PM
I am so fat that I overloaded all of Hawaiis sewer systems from all the shitting I did as a kid

Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:01:21 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he eats more than all of Africa every minute.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:03:10 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he destroys every normal toilet and therefore must bring his own toilet trailer wherever he goes.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:03:47 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he caused the 2004 Tsunami that destroyed Thailand by taking a shit off the side of a massive freighter he was vacationing on.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:04:05 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he gets stuck in the body of an airplane on a regular basis.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:04:57 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he turns can destroy a continent if dropped from 10000 feet.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:06:09 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that his ass is perpetually stained with shit all over because he's too fat to wipe his own ass.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:07:53 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that the Hawaiian state government decided to save millions of dollars by opening a state of the art sewage treatment plant in Keith's anus.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The True Adonis on March 22, 2009, 11:08:08 PM
I will tell you something.  I have never seen a picture of Keith where he is unhappy or not smiling.  You can clearly tell he is happy with his life, current as well as past.  He IS the one living in Hawaii and that alone is a simple paradise.  I would love to visit him one day and meet the locals and hear some old Gold`s gym stories.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:08:56 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he has not seen his own 1mm penis in 20 years.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:10:12 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he eats homeless dogs for snacks.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:10:15 PM
I will tell you something.  I have never seen a picture of Keith where he is unhappy or not smiling.  You can clearly tell he is happy with his life, current as well as past.  He IS the one living in Hawaii and that alone is a simple paradise.  I would love to visit him one day and meet the locals and here some old Gold`s gym stories.

You are the most unpredictable getbigger.  One minutes you're making fun of babies and calling your niece a bitch, the next minute you're defending onlyme.

 ;D
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:11:01 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that when he gets uncontrollably hungry, he eats a car.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:11:28 PM
Keith Jones is so fat he farted while his ass was aimed north, causing glaciers to melt at a faster rate than usual.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:12:04 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he once farted out a tornado.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:12:26 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that when he gets uncontrollably hungry, he eats a car.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH  ;D
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:12:39 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he could be a planet.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:13:05 PM
Keith Jones is so fat he popped a pimple and the locals mistakenly thought a volcano erupted.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The True Adonis on March 22, 2009, 11:13:40 PM
You are the most unpredictable getbigger.  One minutes you're making fun of babies and calling your niece a bitch, the next minute you're defending onlyme.

 ;D
Onlyme and I would assuredly get along amicably.  I have found a new respect after learning that he drove a Porsche Slant Nose.  Those things were and are High Dollar, finely tuned works of art.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:14:36 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that his gravitational pull is making him the center of the Milky Way.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:16:35 PM
Onlyme and I would assuredly get along amicably.  I have found a new respect after learning that he drove a Porsche Slant Nose.  Those things were and are High Dollar, finely tuned works of art.

Indeed they are.  I'm a Mercedes man myself, didn't you once mention owning a 300D?  What a car...
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:17:16 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that when he takes a piss in nature, a new river is born.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:17:51 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that his gravitational pull is making him the center of the Milky Way.

Keith Jones is so fat that scientist mounted a particle accelerator around his waist.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:20:00 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he has become an object of study in astrophysics.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:21:39 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he is second only to China in Carbon Emissions.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:23:17 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he is second only to China in Carbon Emissions.


Keith Jones is the so fat that his farting has become a threat to the atmosphere.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:23:48 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that his tear ducts are being dammed and turbines are being built to supply power to his Island.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:25:29 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he uses a $200k keyboard with keys made of over turned dumpster boxes.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:26:44 PM
Keith Jones is so fat he pays Mexicans to clear coat his toe nails with polyurethane.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: HTexan on March 22, 2009, 11:28:17 PM
damn lol
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: saucetradomous on March 22, 2009, 11:30:58 PM
welcome back debussey.. I see you are making up for the missed posts in your absence.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: ozman on March 22, 2009, 11:34:28 PM
you blokes suck

Keith has actually done things in his life

the guy gets overweight and you wanna rag on him

what have you done ?
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: saucetradomous on March 22, 2009, 11:36:26 PM
you blokes suck

Keith has actually done things in his life

the guy gets overweight and you wanna rag on him

what have you done ?

Keith is a good guy but around here fat peoples lack of willpower will not be tolerated.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:37:26 PM
Keith is a good guy but around here fat peoples lack of willpower will not be tolerated.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH HAAH  ;D
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:38:02 PM
I think Keith Jones is a fat fuck!

Keith Jones is so fat that when his belly makes hunger sounds, radars pick it up as explosions from space
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:39:40 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that when his belly makes hunger sounds, radars pick it up as explosions from space

Keith Jones is so fat that he tried the keto diet and his stomach rumbled and local scientists were puzzled by the odd seismic activity.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:40:46 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he tried the keto diet and his stomach rumbled and local scientists were puzzled by the odd seismic activity.


Keith Jones is so fat that when he falls over and rolls down the street like a bowling ball, he creates massive earthquakes.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:42:34 PM

Keith Jones is so fat that when he falls over and rolls down the street like a bowling ball, he creates massive earthquakes.

Keith Jones is so fat that native Hawaiian people leave food at the base of his stomach thinking he is a god.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: HTexan on March 22, 2009, 11:42:57 PM
(http://s3.tinypic.com/sbpxck.jpg)
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:44:35 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that the local auditor had to higher extra staff to help survey and plot his land (body).
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:45:24 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that his only realistic sex partner is a volcano.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:47:18 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that his only realistic sex partner is a volcano.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAH

Keith Jones is so fat that he tried to rape a women but she curled herself into a ball and avoided being crushed by hiding in his urethra.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:49:01 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he played a body double for the volcano in the movie 'Dantes Peak'.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:50:49 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he envies Manuel Uribes will power.

(http://evilbeetgossip.film.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/manuel-uribe.jpg)
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:51:41 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he caused Hawaii to sink.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:52:38 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he got an ear infection, and the Dr. had to backwards repel down his ear canal to investigate.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Doug_Steele on March 22, 2009, 11:53:02 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that his only realistic sex partner is a volcano.

I had a shitty week but that made me laugh my ass off as i sit here in a hospitial

Only Debussey
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:53:20 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that the 30 second posting rule doesn't apply to threads making fun of him.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 22, 2009, 11:54:15 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that Hawaiis resturant and fast food business grew by 10^6% when he moved to the Island.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:55:26 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that Hawaiis resturant and fast food business grew by 10^6% when he moved to the Island.

Keith Jones is so fat that he literally consumes half of Hawaii's GDP.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 22, 2009, 11:57:07 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that legally he must have a marine grade blower and flame arrester installed in his pants to prevent explosions.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 23, 2009, 12:01:14 AM
Keith Jones is so fat that the toxic run off from his showers kills huge wild life populations.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 23, 2009, 12:02:07 AM
Keith Jones is so fat that you could come up with an infinite amount of "Keith Jones is so fat" posts.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 23, 2009, 12:04:30 AM
Keith Jones is so fat that his skin is perpetually covered with sugah and bread crumbs
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 23, 2009, 12:04:44 AM
Keith Jones is so fat he has to vote absentee cause he can't leave his bed.  :'(
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: titusisback on March 23, 2009, 12:06:46 AM
Keith Jones is so fat he makes BJ Penn look ripped... when in reality, it was actually GSP that ripped BJ another one
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 23, 2009, 12:08:39 AM
Keith Jones is so fat he has a George Foreman grill in every room for cooking pork conveniently.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on March 23, 2009, 12:09:51 AM
Keith Jones is so fat that the mob used his belly button for many years as a body disposal pit.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 23, 2009, 12:13:07 AM
Keith Jones is so fat that he ate MeatLoaf as a mistake when he was hungry at a concert.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 23, 2009, 12:15:28 AM
Keith Jones is so fat that he befriended Anna Nicole Smith to gain access to her fridge.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: bigdumbbell on March 23, 2009, 06:48:48 AM
Indeed they are.  I'm a Mercedes man myself, didn't you once mention owning a 300D?  What a car...
300 TE
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: BroadStreetBruiser on March 23, 2009, 06:52:34 AM
Keith Jones is so fat that he eats homeless dogs for snacks.

LOL
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: littleguns on March 23, 2009, 07:02:24 AM
Debussey is gayer than Clay Aiken's Mazda Miata

Not put this shit to rest!
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 07:35:45 AM
Come one guys some of these are okay but most boring and unimaginative.  And I when I drove my 67 convertible Firebird I got more looks from more people in that.  Alot of thumbs up from people.  It just looked nice.  The 935 was a head turner.  The Japs loved it when I was would drive in Waikiki.  They would take pics of it while I was at stop light.  Now people take pics of me cause they can't believe I can walk.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: dr.chimps on March 23, 2009, 07:41:44 AM
Come one guys some of these are okay but most boring and unimaginative.  And I when I drove my 67 convertible Firebird I got more looks from more people in that.  Alot of thumbs up from people.  It just looked nice.  The 935 was a head turner.  The Japs loved it when I was would drive in Waikiki.  They would take pics of it while I was at stop light.  Now people take pics of me cause they can't believe I can walk.
Wow. Sweet rides.  :o
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: lovemonkey on March 23, 2009, 07:42:03 AM
Come one guys some of these are okay but most boring and unimaginative.  And I when I drove my 67 convertible Firebird I got more looks from more people in that.  Alot of thumbs up from people.  It just looked nice.  The 935 was a head turner.  The Japs loved it when I was would drive in Waikiki.  They would take pics of it while I was at stop light.  Now people take pics of me cause they can't believe I can walk.

Awesome car man. I know a lot of people keep asking you this, but how's the diet going? Although I've done my fair share of bashing I really do wish that you end up well.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: 2ND COMING on March 23, 2009, 07:44:01 AM
Keith Jones is so fat he pays Mexicans to clear coat his toe nails with polyurethane.

lmao
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 07:52:57 AM
Wow. Sweet rides.  :o

My first car in Hawaii was the Bronco.  I liked it and had alot of fun in it but it had no guts.  I got it stuck in a hole while driving in low tide out by Alan Davies in Hawaii.  It was a lava shelf.  The tide started coming in and was getting wet.  I had to call a tow truck and he walked a cable out to pull me out.  It was 4wd but that didn't do shit.  I was with a friend and we were thinking the truck was going under.  My Jeep was my funnest car there.  I liked just driving and pulling over and jumping in the water to go diving or kayaking.  Kept my dive stuff in the truck always.  I lived in a condo and I couldn't get kayak in the elevator so I would lower a rope I bought and tied it on the front and have to pull the kayak up 6 floor outside my lanai and pull it in.  I had hangers on my living room wall to put the kayak.  It was funny watching people watch me pull the kayak up the side of the building into my condo.  If I sat in the thing now it would be under water. 

Awesome car man. I know a lot of people keep asking you this, but how's the diet going? Although I've done my fair share of bashing I really do wish that you end up well.

I am doing good.  I am up and about everyday and keeping busy.  I feel a whole better than I did just a year ago.  Going really slow at this but I am at least getting better everyday.  I love it that a few on here are so possessed with me.  Kind of makes me feel all tingly inside.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: saucetradomous on March 23, 2009, 08:52:36 AM
Keith Jones is so fat he wears ford bronco's as shoes.

"I had to call a tow truck and he walked a cable out to pull me out." -Keith

 ;D
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Vince G, CSN MFT on March 23, 2009, 09:43:40 AM
Kiss my ass you fat bastard
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: BroadStreetBruiser on March 23, 2009, 09:47:57 AM
That's not Serena Williams
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Sam on March 23, 2009, 09:51:38 AM
HAHA Dare I say it but Vince has better calves than Jonny Jackson.  :D
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: EwaBeachBoy on March 23, 2009, 09:57:38 AM
Kiss my ass you fat bastard

Vince, you aint musclular....

But you are an Uncle Tom Negroe!!!
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Vince G, CSN MFT on March 23, 2009, 10:01:56 AM
HAHA Dare I say it but Vince has better calves than Jonny Jackson.  :D


ALR is getting some shit done for me, that's for sure.  I'm going to turn some heads at my next show
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: bigbobs on March 23, 2009, 10:03:26 AM

ALR is getting some shit done for me, that's for sure.  I'm going to turn some heads at my next show

Impossible.  You have already posted your recent pics.  Based on those pictures, the improvements you would need to make to "turn some heads" would take years, not weeks or months.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: lovemonkey on March 23, 2009, 10:04:07 AM

ALR is getting some shit done for me, that's for sure.  I'm going to turn some heads at my next show

Yeah definitely, but not for the reasons you delude yourself with.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: MAXX on March 23, 2009, 10:05:07 AM
Keith was once a very strong man and a world class armwrestler. respect.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: EwaBeachBoy on March 23, 2009, 10:06:42 AM

ALR is getting some shit done for me, that's for sure.  I'm going to turn some heads at my next show

Bullshit, you aint going to be turning heads!

I had to laugh when you said youd be turning heads.

Steroids didnt do anything but give you a bad case of gyno!

What makes you think ALRI supplements are going to be any different?

Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Vince G, CSN MFT on March 23, 2009, 10:06:52 AM
Impossible.  You have already posted your recent pics.  Based on those pictures, the improvements you would need to make to "turn some heads" would take years, not weeks or months.


This picture is newer than the previous ones.  I've been putting up new pictures on a time delay so no-one will know exactly what show I'll be competing at.


Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Sam on March 23, 2009, 10:07:31 AM
My first car in Hawaii was the Bronco.  I liked it and had alot of fun in it but it had no guts.  I got it stuck in a hole while driving in low tide out by Alan Davies in Hawaii.  It was a lava shelf.  The tide started coming in and was getting wet.  I had to call a tow truck and he walked a cable out to pull me out.  It was 4wd but that didn't do shit.  I was with a friend and we were thinking the truck was going under.  My Jeep was my funnest car there.  I liked just driving and pulling over and jumping in the water to go diving or kayaking.  Kept my dive stuff in the truck always.  I lived in a condo and I couldn't get kayak in the elevator so I would lower a rope I bought and tied it on the front and have to pull the kayak up 6 floor outside my lanai and pull it in.  I had hangers on my living room wall to put the kayak.  It was funny watching people watch me pull the kayak up the side of the building into my condo.  If I sat in the thing now it would be under water. 

I am doing good.  I am up and about everyday and keeping busy.  I feel a whole better than I did just a year ago.  Going really slow at this but I am at least getting better everyday.  I love it that a few on here are so possessed with me.  Kind of makes me feel all tingly inside.


Good luck with the diet Keith, keep looking up..  8)
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: lovemonkey on March 23, 2009, 10:08:12 AM

This picture is newer than the previous ones.  I've been putting up new pictures on a time delay so no-one will know exactly what show I'll be competing at.




Vince, how many times have you run your mouth about competing but chickened out in the end? I've lost count.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Sam on March 23, 2009, 10:08:25 AM

This picture is newer than the previous ones.  I've been putting up new pictures on a time delay so no-one will know exactly what show I'll be competing at.




Thats the hammer vince..... Keep the bastards guessing  :D
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Vince G, CSN MFT on March 23, 2009, 10:22:51 AM
Thats the hammer vince..... Keep the bastards guessing  :D

Oh yeah, forgot to mention I did leave some clues in the picture as to what shows I'll be doing.


Can you Getbigger's guess?????
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Sam on March 23, 2009, 10:27:38 AM
Oh yeah, forgot to mention I did leave some clues in the picture as to what shows I'll be doing.


Can you Getbigger's guess?????

Is it ''Mr Spangle thong 2010'' ?
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: dr.chimps on March 23, 2009, 10:28:24 AM

This picture is newer than the previous ones.  I've been putting up new pictures on a time delay so no-one will know exactly what show I'll be competing at.
So this is a surprise last place finish!?    ???
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: lovemonkey on March 23, 2009, 10:28:41 AM
Oh yeah, forgot to mention I did leave some clues in the picture as to what shows I'll be doing.


Can you Getbigger's guess?????

The Dirty-Floor-in-a-Trailerpark Classic?
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: MoralMan on March 23, 2009, 11:14:57 AM
Keith Jones has lived ten times the life most of you ever will and has lifted 10 times bigger weights than most of you ever will, the lucky bastard also lives in Hawaii!
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: EwaBeachBoy on March 23, 2009, 11:23:56 AM
Keith Jones has lived ten times the life most of you ever will and has lifted 10 times bigger weights than most of you ever will, the lucky bastard also lives in Hawaii!

I thought Keith moved to and currently lives in Las Vegas?
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The True Adonis on March 23, 2009, 11:57:05 AM
My first car in Hawaii was the Bronco.  I liked it and had alot of fun in it but it had no guts.  I got it stuck in a hole while driving in low tide out by Alan Davies in Hawaii.  It was a lava shelf.  The tide started coming in and was getting wet.  I had to call a tow truck and he walked a cable out to pull me out.  It was 4wd but that didn't do shit.  I was with a friend and we were thinking the truck was going under.  My Jeep was my funnest car there.  I liked just driving and pulling over and jumping in the water to go diving or kayaking.  Kept my dive stuff in the truck always.  I lived in a condo and I couldn't get kayak in the elevator so I would lower a rope I bought and tied it on the front and have to pull the kayak up 6 floor outside my lanai and pull it in.  I had hangers on my living room wall to put the kayak.  It was funny watching people watch me pull the kayak up the side of the building into my condo.  If I sat in the thing now it would be under water. 

I am doing good.  I am up and about everyday and keeping busy.  I feel a whole better than I did just a year ago.  Going really slow at this but I am at least getting better everyday.  I love it that a few on here are so possessed with me.  Kind of makes me feel all tingly inside.
I know you and I have gone back and forth at times, but if you ever need any help with diet let me know. 
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The True Adonis on March 23, 2009, 11:58:27 AM

This picture is newer than the previous ones.  I've been putting up new pictures on a time delay so no-one will know exactly what show I'll be competing at.



I know what show you are competing in.  The NC NPC has the complete schedule.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: bigdumbbell on March 23, 2009, 11:58:55 AM
tubby moved back to hawaii?
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: EwaBeachBoy on March 23, 2009, 12:18:20 PM
I know what show you are competing in.  The NC NPC has the complete schedule.


He is only going to finish dead last unless he is the only person in that class LOL
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: YoungBlood on March 23, 2009, 12:31:05 PM
I'm going to turn some heads at my next show


blah blah blah blah blah....


....same shit, different time, same channel. Literally.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: HTexan on March 23, 2009, 02:42:17 PM
Kiss my ass you fat bastard
STFU you stupid pussy. Wouldn't even take free money :D
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: CoolDuck on March 23, 2009, 03:02:14 PM

ALR is getting some shit done for me, that's for sure.  I'm going to turn some heads at my next show

Goodrum, I found your spiritual twin in narcissistic delusions:



CD
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Showstoppa on March 23, 2009, 03:24:19 PM
I know what show you are competing in.  The NC NPC has the complete schedule.

TA, maybe Vince is doing a NAMBLA show?  8)
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: ironneck on March 23, 2009, 03:28:06 PM
depussy is actually so dumb he once sat on the tv and watched the couch
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: G o a t b o y on March 23, 2009, 03:33:28 PM
Keith Jones is so fat he got into a monster truck and turned it into a low-rider.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: ironneck on March 23, 2009, 03:35:11 PM
Keith Jones is so fat he got into a monster truck and turned it into a low-rider.

keith is so fucking fat he had a major role in titanic...he was the ice-berg
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 04:10:07 PM
Oh yeah, forgot to mention I did leave some clues in the picture as to what shows I'll be doing.


Can you Getbigger's guess?????
Is it the Mr. Black Retard Living in a Trailer Park Classic or the 2nd Annual Black Gay in Purple Velour Speedos Classic.  Either one you better hope you are the only entrant or you will take last place again.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: the anabolic mon on March 23, 2009, 04:13:29 PM

ALR is getting some shit done for me, that's for sure.  I'm going to turn some heads at my next show
Whats your stack? (seriously)
You have done more than most getbiggers, you have earned your stars, no matter what.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: the anabolic mon on March 23, 2009, 04:14:59 PM
Oh yeah, forgot to mention I did leave some clues in the picture as to what shows I'll be doing.


Can you Getbigger's guess?????
Mountaineer?
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: LatsMcGee on March 23, 2009, 04:15:35 PM
The heads will be turning and vomiting at Vince's next show.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Doug_Steele on March 23, 2009, 04:23:41 PM
TA, maybe Vince is doing a NAMBLA show?  8)

1. The National Association of Man Boy Loving Association?

2. The National Association of Maroln Brando Look Alikes?

Which show?
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Kwon on March 23, 2009, 06:06:42 PM
Keith Jones enjoys life more than Avesher/disturbia.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: keanu on March 23, 2009, 06:12:47 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he befriended Anna Nicole Smith to gain access to her fridge.

Weak man...weak! Need better material. Get stoned then post. :)
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 06:50:40 PM
Keith is so fat he has his own area code
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 06:51:50 PM
Keith has so many double chins it is though he is staring at you over a stack of pancakes
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 06:53:06 PM
Keith is so fat that they use his belt to measure the equator
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 06:53:48 PM
Keith is so fat that people jog around his for exercise
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: keanu on March 23, 2009, 06:57:37 PM
Not bad HanK! ;D
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 06:58:29 PM
Keith is so fat that when he steps on the scale it says 'no live stock please'.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: benz on March 23, 2009, 06:59:28 PM
keith is so fat that ephedrine disolves in his fat without working
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Camel Jockey on March 23, 2009, 07:02:28 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that he's been the sole reason McDonald's has stayed profitable during this economic downturn 
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 07:03:19 PM
Keith is so fat that he was baptised at SeaWorld
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Camel Jockey on March 23, 2009, 07:03:28 PM
Keith Jones is fat that he could be used to bounce a giant, earth-destroying meteor back to space.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: kiwiol on March 23, 2009, 07:07:04 PM
Onlyme is so fat that he always tells his butcher to trim all the meat off his purchase
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 07:07:50 PM
Keith is so fat that even his car has stretch marks.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 07:09:26 PM
Keith is so  fat he has more 'chins' than the Hong Kong phone book.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: ironneck on March 23, 2009, 07:13:31 PM
keith is so fat everytime he has a little "snack" an animal species dies
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: kiwiol on March 23, 2009, 07:14:58 PM
Onlyme is so fat, he invented a meal between breakfast and brunch
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: G o a t b o y on March 23, 2009, 07:23:23 PM
One day Keith Jones decided to take a shit in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.  The resulting pile was so large it broke the surface of the water in several places and is today known as the Hawaiian Islands.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 07:25:26 PM
A week later Keith took another dump in the ocean and caused a massive tidal wave (tsunami)
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: G o a t b o y on March 23, 2009, 07:25:40 PM
Onlyme is so fat, he invented a meal between breakfast and brunch


He calls it "fourth meal".   He's suing those bastards at Taco Bell for copyright infringement.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Captain Equipoise on March 23, 2009, 07:26:22 PM
Keith Jones is so fat when he rolls over in bed the earth's orbit changes.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: lovemonkey on March 23, 2009, 07:27:45 PM
Onlyme is so fat that Jupiter's orbit destabilizes even more every time he eats another big mac.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: G o a t b o y on March 23, 2009, 07:30:53 PM
Keith Jones is so fat he single-handedly caused the Ethiopian famine of the 1980's after deciding to get a "snack" while on a layover in Addis Ababa.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 07:35:50 PM
Keith is responsible for the deforestation of Asia's rainforests after he commissioned the building of a new chair
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Veteran_Lifter on March 23, 2009, 07:42:41 PM
Keith is so fat he has caused a shortage of the letters f, a and t within the world wide web, this has become known as 'peak fat'.

Keith is soley responsible for 'peak fat', a situation that will nigh on kill the availability of the letters 'f, a and t' for internet forum users across the globe.

'Peak fat' will be hit sometime in 2012... ironically the same year that Keith will finally diet down to 600lbs, the obese bastard!
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: G o a t b o y on March 23, 2009, 07:44:04 PM
Keith Jones is so fat he won his legal battle with Paul Hupp, LLB by eating the judge, jury, and baliff after they got a little too close to his eating vortex during lunch break.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 07:47:15 PM
Some of these got me laughing.  Good job guys.   ;D
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Veteran_Lifter on March 23, 2009, 07:49:26 PM
Some of these got me laughing.  Good job guys.   ;D

Keith, did you or any of the guys ever use DMSO at all?
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 07:52:54 PM
Keith, did you or any of the guys ever use DMSO at all?

I did for awhile on my arm after a competition
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 07:53:42 PM
Yes laugh fatman laugh!  Fat people are happy....right Keith?

Fact is, you are trapped in a suit of larded misery.  Your obesity is a reflection of your inner torment and self loathing.

You eat to obscene excessiveness because it masks your pain and internal torment.

So laugh away fatman....if that is what helps you!
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Veteran_Lifter on March 23, 2009, 07:55:28 PM
I did for awhile on my arm after a competition

Was it for inflammation/tendonitus?

Did you find it worked? and did the injury stay away after you stopped using the stuff?

Did a lot of guys use it?

You dont seem to see it used a lot these days, but it does seem to have a good rep amongst the older guys.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: kiwiol on March 23, 2009, 07:56:09 PM
Some of these got me laughing.  Good job guys.   ;D

 ;D

Onlyme is so fat, he once looked at the solar system and said, "My anus is bigger than Uranus"
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Veteran_Lifter on March 23, 2009, 07:56:17 PM
Yes laugh fatman laugh!  Fat people are happy....right Keith?

Fact is, you are trapped in a suit of larded misery.  Your obesity is a reflection of your inner torment and self loathing.

You eat to obscene excessiveness because it masks your pain and internal torment.

So laugh away fatman....if that is what helps you!

calm down, Gloria, it aint that serious.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 08:01:58 PM
Keith, you are so fat that you laugh at fat jokes because that is the only way you can cope/ rationalise your state of morbid obesity!

Word of advice Keith, stop laughing at the fat jokes! 

Stop living in denial. 

Get off your lazy obese ass and do something to save your life. 

Or is it the case Keith, that you have become so lost and confused  that it is just easier to eat yourself into heart disease, fatty liver, diabetes etc etc etc etc.???
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: onlyme on March 23, 2009, 08:04:00 PM
Was it for inflammation/tendonitus?

Did you find it worked? and did the injury stay away after you stopped using the stuff?

Did a lot of guys use it?

You dont seem to see it used a lot these days, but it does seem to have a good rep amongst the older guys.

I had inflamation after a tournament.  I only used it for a short while.  I had a weird taste in your mouth.  But it seemed to work pretty good.  I heard some guys say it awesome and used it all the time.
Keith, you are so fat that you laugh at fat jokes because that is the only way you can cope/ rationalise your state of morbid obesity!

Word of advice Keith, stop laughing at the fat jokes! 

Stop living in denial. 

Get off your lazy obese ass and do something to save your life. 

Or is it the case Keith, that you have become so lost and confused that it just easier to eat yourself into heart disease, fatty liver, diabetes etc etc etc etc.???

Okay thanks for the advice.  Be sure you don't accidently call out my name while you are fucking your boyfriend. I see you are really into me today.  Kind of creepy but we all know how you are.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Veteran_Lifter on March 23, 2009, 08:05:52 PM
I had inflamation after a tournament.  I only used it for a short while.  I had a weird taste in your mouth.  But it seemed to work pretty good.  I heard some guys say it awesome and used it all the time.

Ah, cheers for that.

Yeah, the taste is garlic from what I have read.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: New Hank Wood on March 23, 2009, 08:09:51 PM
Deflecting attention away from your life threatening issues? Again.

This is becoming somewhat of a pattern for you Keith.

Again, you are a hideous obese monster who refuses to take responsibilty for your illness.  

You brought this disease onto yourself Keith....and that is what makes it even more disgusting and vile!

Start looking for the answers yourself Keith.  And stop blaming others for your pathetic decline into morbidity!
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: _bruce_ on March 23, 2009, 09:43:39 PM
Onlyme is so fat, that he uses the rain forest as a salad bar.

Onlyme is so fat, that his dietitian has to work with infinite numbers.

Onlyme is so fat, that the tattoo on his ass cheeks reads "Full Eclipse".

Onlyme is so fat, that when having turned around in bed it's time to vote a new president.

Onlyme is so fat, that he measures his body fat in light years.

Onlyme is so fat, that his weight can only be measured in sun masses per square inch.

Having said these bad things, I can only give props to Keith - he's a cool dude and gentle giant.
Good luck.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Camel Jockey on March 23, 2009, 09:47:39 PM
Keith Jones is so fat that when he skids he causes the tectonic plates to shift
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: benchthis on March 23, 2009, 09:51:24 PM
wow only me is on 6 pages of being owned  :o
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: DeketheCreep on March 23, 2009, 09:54:57 PM
onlyme so fat that when he jump into the ocean, the whales start to sing "We are family"
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: HTexan on March 23, 2009, 10:04:34 PM
onlyme so fat that when he jump into the ocean, the whales start to sing "We are family"
dammn, lol
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: Wiggs on March 23, 2009, 10:08:45 PM
Great thread ::)
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: webcake on March 24, 2009, 12:41:52 AM
Great thread ::)

Wiggs is so black he bleeds grape drink......
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: The Master on March 24, 2009, 05:38:27 AM
Keith Jones is so fat that he has not seen his own cock (but a lot of other cock) for 1 million years.
Title: Re: Keith Jones
Post by: littleguns on March 25, 2009, 05:48:14 PM
Debussey is soo gay that Richard Simmons calls him for fashion advice.