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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: calfzilla on November 18, 2009, 11:26:00 PM

Title: Baking
Post by: calfzilla on November 18, 2009, 11:26:00 PM
Desert baking contest at work.  What should I make?  Need recipes. 
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: pugalist666 on November 19, 2009, 12:54:10 AM
giant dildo cake
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: pugalist666 on November 19, 2009, 12:56:11 AM
.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Tapeworm on November 19, 2009, 01:04:42 AM
Cannoli are very easy if you have a deep fryer (you're Scottish, right?  ;D), cannoli tubes (cheap to buy), and a pastry bag.  (Also basic kitchen stuff like a rolling pin, mixing bowls, spoons, sieve for dusting, etc.)  Always popular and a lot more interesting than the cookies & pies you'll be up against.  You might even be able to just buy the cannoli shells and knock up a filling (don't fill the shells until serving), so all you'll need is a large pastry bag.  Can't go wrong with chocolate and maraschino cherry, or dark chocolate and candied orange imo.

(http://a2.vox.com/6a00c225259fe3604a00e398dec5820004-500pi)

A midrange effort would be something like a choux pastry - easy to knock up and bake into cream puffs or eclairs and basic fillings don't require much skill (unless you are totally inexperienced in the kitchen).

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Cz4rQSMt9Wc/SX_wKE9nU4I/AAAAAAAAAu4/Ai6YIzATSt8/s320/Chocolate+cream+puffs+square.jpg)

I don't know much about dessert wines but you probably can't go wrong with a...erm... white one.  A little of the right booze in fillings can really set them off but don't go overboard or you'll give people the wrong impression of you.  :D

Don't attempt anything beyond your skills, like trying 6 kinds of petit fours if you've never made a pastry before.  Better to do something simple and do it well.  Don't try to make puff pastry if you've never done it before (although you can buy it frozen) and keep entirely clear of sfogliatelli unless you own a dough sheeter!
  
If you're feeling really lazy, just prepare a selection of cheeses and a white wine (non-dessert).

Let me know if you want the procedure for these or anything else.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Tapeworm on November 19, 2009, 01:20:48 AM
Btw, I can't wait for a little granny somewhere googling baking to get linked to Getbig. 

"That 'internet!'  It's full of oily half naked men!"
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Parker on November 19, 2009, 02:00:07 AM
Desert baking contest at work.  What should I make?  Need recipes. 
Baking in the desert will be kinda hot?
Well, you could bake Apple Crisp, Apple or Peach Cobbler, and mary Jane laced brownies are always a hit. You can go holiday and do Pumpkin or Sweet Potato pie, but many of women will be doing that, and they more than likely have that shit in the bag.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Tapeworm on November 19, 2009, 02:08:42 AM
Buys some mini snickers.  Stick a little flag in each one and call them Freedom Bars.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Mars on November 19, 2009, 02:42:31 AM
at our office its hawaiian shirt day.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: WillGrant on November 19, 2009, 03:18:25 AM
Desert baking contest at work.  What should I make?  Need recipes. 
Have you been possesed by decide and methbod101?
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: calfzilla on November 19, 2009, 06:17:58 PM
Btw, I can't wait for a little granny somewhere googling baking to get linked to Getbig. 

"That 'internet!'  It's full of oily half naked men!"
lol only on getbig brother!   ;D
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: HTexan on November 19, 2009, 10:10:46 PM
Fried Ice cream. FTW!!!
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: cross-of-iron on November 19, 2009, 10:14:06 PM
Desert baking contest at work.  What should I make?  Need recipes. 

...fag.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: pluck on November 19, 2009, 10:18:58 PM
...fag.

That's exactly what I thought.

A. You're outed.
B. You're 100% outed. What hetero male is going to take a baking contest seriously?
C. Go to a grocery store and buy some cookies then pop them in a tupper ware container to look like you did some work.
D. You're gay.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: HTexan on November 19, 2009, 10:19:19 PM
...fag.
STFU gimmick. You need to earn your stars. :D
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Tapeworm on November 20, 2009, 12:24:23 AM
STFU gimmick. You need to earn your stars. :D

Quite so, my esteemed collegue.  These message board machos who get their jollies calling people gay are the first ones to stare at the floor when the fat Italian guy at the pizza parlour tells their crew of scrawny teenage welps to eat up or get out.  

These kids need to get up at 2 am and make 2000 or so bagels everyday for a year.  Harden up those baby soft hands.  Blister some skin off the forearms.  Baking could make a man out of these little boys, but no... it's too 'gay' for them.  ::)






























How about some cupcakes Calfzilla?  Aren't they adorable?
(http://coolest-birthday-cakes.shippony.com/images/theme/barnyard/cupcakes/cute-cupcakes-01.jpg)
(http://www.hellocupcakebook.com/images/tack_cupcake.jpg)
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: grab an umbrella on November 20, 2009, 12:46:51 AM
Cannoli are very easy if you have a deep fryer (you're Scottish, right?  ;D), cannoli tubes (cheap to buy), and a pastry bag.  (Also basic kitchen stuff like a rolling pin, mixing bowls, spoons, sieve for dusting, etc.)  Always popular and a lot more interesting than the cookies & pies you'll be up against.  You might even be able to just buy the cannoli shells and knock up a filling (don't fill the shells until serving), so all you'll need is a large pastry bag.  Can't go wrong with chocolate and maraschino cherry, or dark chocolate and candied orange imo.

(http://a2.vox.com/6a00c225259fe3604a00e398dec5820004-500pi)

A midrange effort would be something like a choux pastry - easy to knock up and bake into cream puffs or eclairs and basic fillings don't require much skill (unless you are totally inexperienced in the kitchen).

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Cz4rQSMt9Wc/SX_wKE9nU4I/AAAAAAAAAu4/Ai6YIzATSt8/s320/Chocolate+cream+puffs+square.jpg)

I don't know much about dessert wines but you probably can't go wrong with a...erm... white one.  A little of the right booze in fillings can really set them off but don't go overboard or you'll give people the wrong impression of you.  :D

Don't attempt anything beyond your skills, like trying 6 kinds of petit fours if you've never made a pastry before.  Better to do something simple and do it well.  Don't try to make puff pastry if you've never done it before (although you can buy it frozen) and keep entirely clear of sfogliatelli unless you own a dough sheeter!
  
If you're feeling really lazy, just prepare a selection of cheeses and a white wine (non-dessert).

Let me know if you want the procedure for these or anything else.

I stopped reading after a white dessert wine.  FALSE, always red for dessert, always served in small portions, and almost always a nice touch of berries to the wine.  Other than that the first part of your post looked great.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Tapeworm on November 20, 2009, 12:58:50 AM
I stopped reading after a white dessert wine.  FALSE, always red for dessert, always served in small portions, and almost always a nice touch of berries to the wine.  Other than that the first part of your post looked great.

Sure?  Like I said I don't know much about dessert wines but I'm sure I've had whites in the past.  Dessert wines, that is, not an after dinner fortified wine like a port.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: grab an umbrella on November 20, 2009, 01:47:26 AM
Sure?  Like I said I don't know much about dessert wines but I'm sure I've had whites in the past.  Dessert wines, that is, not an after dinner fortified wine like a port.

Well to be perfectly honest it depends on the dessert, since I usually go for chocolate I guess it is subjective.  I could see a nice white going with a key lime or a creme brulee. 

NO HOMO
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Tapeworm on November 20, 2009, 01:51:29 AM
Well to be perfectly honest it depends on the dessert, since I usually go for chocolate I guess it is subjective.  I could see a nice white going with a key lime or a creme brulee. 

NO HOMO

Yeah I was thinking with the cannoli or choux.

ps - outted like a dog that pissed on the carpet
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: webcake on November 20, 2009, 01:58:13 AM
There are plenty of white dessert wines out there. Actually the majority of dessert wines are whites.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Meso_z on November 20, 2009, 02:02:57 AM
Cannoli are very easy if you have a deep fryer (you're Scottish, right?  ;D), cannoli tubes (cheap to buy), and a pastry bag.  (Also basic kitchen stuff like a rolling pin, mixing bowls, spoons, sieve for dusting, etc.)  Always popular and a lot more interesting than the cookies & pies you'll be up against.  You might even be able to just buy the cannoli shells and knock up a filling (don't fill the shells until serving), so all you'll need is a large pastry bag.  Can't go wrong with chocolate and maraschino cherry, or dark chocolate and candied orange imo.

(http://a2.vox.com/6a00c225259fe3604a00e398dec5820004-500pi)

A midrange effort would be something like a choux pastry - easy to knock up and bake into cream puffs or eclairs and basic fillings don't require much skill (unless you are totally inexperienced in the kitchen).

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Cz4rQSMt9Wc/SX_wKE9nU4I/AAAAAAAAAu4/Ai6YIzATSt8/s320/Chocolate+cream+puffs+square.jpg)

I don't know much about dessert wines but you probably can't go wrong with a...erm... white one.  A little of the right booze in fillings can really set them off but don't go overboard or you'll give people the wrong impression of you.  :D

(http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/3/3d/Bos_taurus_taurus_turd_.jpg)

Don't attempt anything beyond your skills, like trying 6 kinds of petit fours if you've never made a pastry before.  Better to do something simple and do it well.  Don't try to make puff pastry if you've never done it before (although you can buy it frozen) and keep entirely clear of sfogliatelli unless you own a dough sheeter!
  
If you're feeling really lazy, just prepare a selection of cheeses and a white wine (non-dessert).

Let me know if you want the procedure for these or anything else.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Tapeworm on November 20, 2009, 02:34:23 AM


Brutal jealousy in this thread from the chinese takeaway crowd.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: calfzilla on November 20, 2009, 09:19:38 PM
Actually to all those who referred to calfzilla as "fag" and claim to have "outed" me. 

1. Chaos is the only one who "outs" people.
2. Primary motviation for the baking contest is that the hottest girl at work is heading up the contest. 

Thanks.   :)
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Captain Equipoise on November 20, 2009, 09:28:24 PM
all you need to know is 2 words: creme brulle

bonus points for getting to play with a blowtorch! ;)
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: calfzilla on November 20, 2009, 09:56:11 PM
Stay seasonal. It's fall where I am. Apples, pears, pomegranites, quinces, and pumkins.
Thanks man, I was actually wondering when you would show up in this thread.  Actually the baking contest will be during our company christmas party. 
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: calfzilla on November 20, 2009, 10:03:18 PM
You cut half the prize with me I'll sort you out a recipe.
Acually I don't even know what the prize is, if anything at all.  Just hoping to get a drunken bj from the girl leading the contest thingy lol. 
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: calfzilla on November 20, 2009, 10:16:11 PM
If thats the case. I got your back. Send me the rules and regs. I'll send you the winning recipe. 'Tis the season.
Hmm I don't think there are rules.  Just bring a great tasting desert.  I assume it should be non-alcoholic cuz it's a school. 
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: calfzilla on November 20, 2009, 10:25:49 PM
Chocolate all the way then. Simple, not expensive, tasty, whats the date of the party?
Dec 18th I think. 
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Tapeworm on November 20, 2009, 10:42:37 PM
I don't want to work in a fucking bakery. I'm 33, I don't hang out with a crew of scrawny teenage "welps" whatever the fuck that is and I have no interest in blistering skin off my forearms trying to be like mommy. Nice cupcakes...fag.

Title: Re: Baking
Post by: calfzilla on November 20, 2009, 10:57:46 PM
What exactly did I fail at? There's nothing wrong with a man cooking a meal, I do all the time. But a fucking cooking contest at work? That's just a wee bit gay and I'd imagine the overwhelming majority of them are women. Obviously you took offense because cooking is your passion. If so, I apologize...fag.

I agree.  If I were to bake a cake, I think I would have a sudden urge to have sex with another man.   ::)
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: webcake on November 20, 2009, 11:04:59 PM
Lot of people here intimidated by men with muscles who also happen to make fucking awesome desserts.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: 11venthhour on November 20, 2009, 11:13:11 PM
Look man I'm sorry but I just don't see the urge in entering a desert baking contest with a bunch of chicks at work ok?


yup because hanging out with women is gay, especially if you are trying to hook up with one of them. yup thats gotta to be gay, bay will be chiming in on this very soon with the underworld of baking contests.
yup knowing how to do things on your own so you don't have ask someone or spend more money than necessary thats sounds gay too.
all around homo ::)
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: 11venthhour on November 20, 2009, 11:16:35 PM
Do yourself a favor and look up the definition of intimidated ok. Matter of fact look at what you just typed...gay.

nothing like a homophobe on a BB board
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: webcake on November 20, 2009, 11:17:00 PM
All i know is that this thread was about baking but you come along and start talking about sucking dick.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: webcake on November 20, 2009, 11:24:53 PM
Good to see you have come to your senses.....
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: 11venthhour on November 20, 2009, 11:25:19 PM
If that's the only way you can hang out with women then you my friend need some help. Do you hang out at pta meetings? Tupperware parties? Knowing how to do things on your own? That's all you got? If you're interested in a woman you don't have to enter a fucking desert baking contest to get in her pants but you guys are such fucking big time players who am I to say anything. You guys OWNED me ok...

homo its a work party, ever been to work anywhere beside a fast food joint or a gym.

owning ::) epic bringing it back 4 years there bud.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Tapeworm on November 20, 2009, 11:32:35 PM
You seem a little threatened by baking, crust-of-iron. 
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: 11venthhour on November 20, 2009, 11:45:58 PM
I've never been an employee in either. I don't use the terms "epic" or "owned" but I know the majority of losers here get
off on it so I figured I'd give you what you want since for most here this is their life. Notice how long I've been a member and my post count. That should tell you something. There's no point in continuing going back and fourth with you betty crocker wannabe's. My girlfriend cooks for me and she's damn good. I understand you losers have absolutely zero game and you think that's the way to get your dream girl. So go bake a fucking fruit cake and tell us all about how you bagged her...

she cooks for me too so its nothing really to brag about ::)
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: calfzilla on November 21, 2009, 03:53:33 PM
I think the moral of the story is to not fuck with calfzilla.  Obviously I am far too powerful and have too many friends. 

Excuse me for liking desert and pussy. 
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: CalvinH on November 21, 2009, 04:31:41 PM
Just bring vodka.
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: Eyeball Chambers on November 21, 2009, 04:33:43 PM
Cannoli are very easy if you have a deep fryer (you're Scottish, right?  ;D), cannoli tubes (cheap to buy), and a pastry bag.  (Also basic kitchen stuff like a rolling pin, mixing bowls, spoons, sieve for dusting, etc.)  Always popular and a lot more interesting than the cookies & pies you'll be up against.  You might even be able to just buy the cannoli shells and knock up a filling (don't fill the shells until serving), so all you'll need is a large pastry bag.  Can't go wrong with chocolate and maraschino cherry, or dark chocolate and candied orange imo.

(http://a2.vox.com/6a00c225259fe3604a00e398dec5820004-500pi)

A midrange effort would be something like a choux pastry - easy to knock up and bake into cream puffs or eclairs and basic fillings don't require much skill (unless you are totally inexperienced in the kitchen).

(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Cz4rQSMt9Wc/SX_wKE9nU4I/AAAAAAAAAu4/Ai6YIzATSt8/s320/Chocolate+cream+puffs+square.jpg)

I don't know much about dessert wines but you probably can't go wrong with a...erm... white one.  A little of the right booze in fillings can really set them off but don't go overboard or you'll give people the wrong impression of you.  :D

Don't attempt anything beyond your skills, like trying 6 kinds of petit fours if you've never made a pastry before.  Better to do something simple and do it well.  Don't try to make puff pastry if you've never done it before (although you can buy it frozen) and keep entirely clear of sfogliatelli unless you own a dough sheeter!
  
If you're feeling really lazy, just prepare a selection of cheeses and a white wine (non-dessert).

Let me know if you want the procedure for these or anything else.

Slurp  :P
Title: Re: Baking
Post by: WillGrant on November 21, 2009, 04:47:19 PM
.