Author Topic: Baking  (Read 3601 times)

calfzilla

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Baking
« on: November 18, 2009, 11:26:00 PM »
Desert baking contest at work.  What should I make?  Need recipes. 

pugalist666

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Re: Baking
« Reply #1 on: November 19, 2009, 12:54:10 AM »
giant dildo cake

pugalist666

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Re: Baking
« Reply #2 on: November 19, 2009, 12:56:11 AM »
.

Tapeworm

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Re: Baking
« Reply #3 on: November 19, 2009, 01:04:42 AM »
Cannoli are very easy if you have a deep fryer (you're Scottish, right?  ;D), cannoli tubes (cheap to buy), and a pastry bag.  (Also basic kitchen stuff like a rolling pin, mixing bowls, spoons, sieve for dusting, etc.)  Always popular and a lot more interesting than the cookies & pies you'll be up against.  You might even be able to just buy the cannoli shells and knock up a filling (don't fill the shells until serving), so all you'll need is a large pastry bag.  Can't go wrong with chocolate and maraschino cherry, or dark chocolate and candied orange imo.



A midrange effort would be something like a choux pastry - easy to knock up and bake into cream puffs or eclairs and basic fillings don't require much skill (unless you are totally inexperienced in the kitchen).



I don't know much about dessert wines but you probably can't go wrong with a...erm... white one.  A little of the right booze in fillings can really set them off but don't go overboard or you'll give people the wrong impression of you.  :D

Don't attempt anything beyond your skills, like trying 6 kinds of petit fours if you've never made a pastry before.  Better to do something simple and do it well.  Don't try to make puff pastry if you've never done it before (although you can buy it frozen) and keep entirely clear of sfogliatelli unless you own a dough sheeter!
  
If you're feeling really lazy, just prepare a selection of cheeses and a white wine (non-dessert).

Let me know if you want the procedure for these or anything else.

Tapeworm

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Re: Baking
« Reply #4 on: November 19, 2009, 01:20:48 AM »
Btw, I can't wait for a little granny somewhere googling baking to get linked to Getbig. 

"That 'internet!'  It's full of oily half naked men!"

Parker

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Re: Baking
« Reply #5 on: November 19, 2009, 02:00:07 AM »
Desert baking contest at work.  What should I make?  Need recipes. 
Baking in the desert will be kinda hot?
Well, you could bake Apple Crisp, Apple or Peach Cobbler, and mary Jane laced brownies are always a hit. You can go holiday and do Pumpkin or Sweet Potato pie, but many of women will be doing that, and they more than likely have that shit in the bag.

Tapeworm

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Re: Baking
« Reply #6 on: November 19, 2009, 02:08:42 AM »
Buys some mini snickers.  Stick a little flag in each one and call them Freedom Bars.

Mars

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Re: Baking
« Reply #7 on: November 19, 2009, 02:42:31 AM »
at our office its hawaiian shirt day.

WillGrant

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Re: Baking
« Reply #8 on: November 19, 2009, 03:18:25 AM »
Desert baking contest at work.  What should I make?  Need recipes. 
Have you been possesed by decide and methbod101?

calfzilla

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Re: Baking
« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2009, 06:17:58 PM »
Btw, I can't wait for a little granny somewhere googling baking to get linked to Getbig. 

"That 'internet!'  It's full of oily half naked men!"
lol only on getbig brother!   ;D

HTexan

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Re: Baking
« Reply #10 on: November 19, 2009, 10:10:46 PM »
Fried Ice cream. FTW!!!
A

cross-of-iron

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Re: Baking
« Reply #11 on: November 19, 2009, 10:14:06 PM »
Desert baking contest at work.  What should I make?  Need recipes. 

...fag.

pluck

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Re: Baking
« Reply #12 on: November 19, 2009, 10:18:58 PM »
...fag.

That's exactly what I thought.

A. You're outed.
B. You're 100% outed. What hetero male is going to take a baking contest seriously?
C. Go to a grocery store and buy some cookies then pop them in a tupper ware container to look like you did some work.
D. You're gay.

HTexan

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Re: Baking
« Reply #13 on: November 19, 2009, 10:19:19 PM »
...fag.
STFU gimmick. You need to earn your stars. :D
A

Tapeworm

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Re: Baking
« Reply #14 on: November 20, 2009, 12:24:23 AM »
STFU gimmick. You need to earn your stars. :D

Quite so, my esteemed collegue.  These message board machos who get their jollies calling people gay are the first ones to stare at the floor when the fat Italian guy at the pizza parlour tells their crew of scrawny teenage welps to eat up or get out.  

These kids need to get up at 2 am and make 2000 or so bagels everyday for a year.  Harden up those baby soft hands.  Blister some skin off the forearms.  Baking could make a man out of these little boys, but no... it's too 'gay' for them.  ::)






























How about some cupcakes Calfzilla?  Aren't they adorable?


grab an umbrella

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Re: Baking
« Reply #15 on: November 20, 2009, 12:46:51 AM »
Cannoli are very easy if you have a deep fryer (you're Scottish, right?  ;D), cannoli tubes (cheap to buy), and a pastry bag.  (Also basic kitchen stuff like a rolling pin, mixing bowls, spoons, sieve for dusting, etc.)  Always popular and a lot more interesting than the cookies & pies you'll be up against.  You might even be able to just buy the cannoli shells and knock up a filling (don't fill the shells until serving), so all you'll need is a large pastry bag.  Can't go wrong with chocolate and maraschino cherry, or dark chocolate and candied orange imo.



A midrange effort would be something like a choux pastry - easy to knock up and bake into cream puffs or eclairs and basic fillings don't require much skill (unless you are totally inexperienced in the kitchen).



I don't know much about dessert wines but you probably can't go wrong with a...erm... white one.  A little of the right booze in fillings can really set them off but don't go overboard or you'll give people the wrong impression of you.  :D

Don't attempt anything beyond your skills, like trying 6 kinds of petit fours if you've never made a pastry before.  Better to do something simple and do it well.  Don't try to make puff pastry if you've never done it before (although you can buy it frozen) and keep entirely clear of sfogliatelli unless you own a dough sheeter!
  
If you're feeling really lazy, just prepare a selection of cheeses and a white wine (non-dessert).

Let me know if you want the procedure for these or anything else.

I stopped reading after a white dessert wine.  FALSE, always red for dessert, always served in small portions, and almost always a nice touch of berries to the wine.  Other than that the first part of your post looked great.

Tapeworm

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Re: Baking
« Reply #16 on: November 20, 2009, 12:58:50 AM »
I stopped reading after a white dessert wine.  FALSE, always red for dessert, always served in small portions, and almost always a nice touch of berries to the wine.  Other than that the first part of your post looked great.

Sure?  Like I said I don't know much about dessert wines but I'm sure I've had whites in the past.  Dessert wines, that is, not an after dinner fortified wine like a port.

grab an umbrella

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Re: Baking
« Reply #17 on: November 20, 2009, 01:47:26 AM »
Sure?  Like I said I don't know much about dessert wines but I'm sure I've had whites in the past.  Dessert wines, that is, not an after dinner fortified wine like a port.

Well to be perfectly honest it depends on the dessert, since I usually go for chocolate I guess it is subjective.  I could see a nice white going with a key lime or a creme brulee. 

NO HOMO

Tapeworm

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Re: Baking
« Reply #18 on: November 20, 2009, 01:51:29 AM »
Well to be perfectly honest it depends on the dessert, since I usually go for chocolate I guess it is subjective.  I could see a nice white going with a key lime or a creme brulee. 

NO HOMO

Yeah I was thinking with the cannoli or choux.

ps - outted like a dog that pissed on the carpet

webcake

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Re: Baking
« Reply #19 on: November 20, 2009, 01:58:13 AM »
There are plenty of white dessert wines out there. Actually the majority of dessert wines are whites.
No doubt about it...

Meso_z

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Re: Baking
« Reply #20 on: November 20, 2009, 02:02:57 AM »
Cannoli are very easy if you have a deep fryer (you're Scottish, right?  ;D), cannoli tubes (cheap to buy), and a pastry bag.  (Also basic kitchen stuff like a rolling pin, mixing bowls, spoons, sieve for dusting, etc.)  Always popular and a lot more interesting than the cookies & pies you'll be up against.  You might even be able to just buy the cannoli shells and knock up a filling (don't fill the shells until serving), so all you'll need is a large pastry bag.  Can't go wrong with chocolate and maraschino cherry, or dark chocolate and candied orange imo.



A midrange effort would be something like a choux pastry - easy to knock up and bake into cream puffs or eclairs and basic fillings don't require much skill (unless you are totally inexperienced in the kitchen).



I don't know much about dessert wines but you probably can't go wrong with a...erm... white one.  A little of the right booze in fillings can really set them off but don't go overboard or you'll give people the wrong impression of you.  :D



Don't attempt anything beyond your skills, like trying 6 kinds of petit fours if you've never made a pastry before.  Better to do something simple and do it well.  Don't try to make puff pastry if you've never done it before (although you can buy it frozen) and keep entirely clear of sfogliatelli unless you own a dough sheeter!
  
If you're feeling really lazy, just prepare a selection of cheeses and a white wine (non-dessert).

Let me know if you want the procedure for these or anything else.

Tapeworm

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Re: Baking
« Reply #21 on: November 20, 2009, 02:34:23 AM »


Brutal jealousy in this thread from the chinese takeaway crowd.

calfzilla

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Re: Baking
« Reply #22 on: November 20, 2009, 09:19:38 PM »
Actually to all those who referred to calfzilla as "fag" and claim to have "outed" me. 

1. Chaos is the only one who "outs" people.
2. Primary motviation for the baking contest is that the hottest girl at work is heading up the contest. 

Thanks.   :)

Captain Equipoise

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Re: Baking
« Reply #23 on: November 20, 2009, 09:28:24 PM »
all you need to know is 2 words: creme brulle

bonus points for getting to play with a blowtorch! ;)

calfzilla

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Re: Baking
« Reply #24 on: November 20, 2009, 09:56:11 PM »
Stay seasonal. It's fall where I am. Apples, pears, pomegranites, quinces, and pumkins.
Thanks man, I was actually wondering when you would show up in this thread.  Actually the baking contest will be during our company christmas party.