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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: Deicide on October 14, 2010, 02:07:02 PM

Title: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 14, 2010, 02:07:02 PM
Or how important do you think it is for your gf/partner to be interested in what you do?

Opinions?
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Howard on October 14, 2010, 02:08:37 PM
Or how important do you think it is for your gf/partner to be interested in what you do?

Opinions?
If she is intersted in my Johnson, I am into her poontang, THAT is common interest.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 14, 2010, 02:09:25 PM
If she is intersted in my Johnson, I am into her poontang, THAT is common interest.

Sure and fair enough but for the relationship to carry the distance, don't you think there needs to be more than just that?
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: che on October 14, 2010, 02:10:10 PM
Is not that important .
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 14, 2010, 02:12:04 PM
Is not that important .

Reason?
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Stavios on October 14, 2010, 02:13:26 PM
The girl I am dating now doesn't have any interests it seems, she just agrees with absolutely everything I like or want to do  8)

pretty fucked up actually
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: BIG ACH on October 14, 2010, 02:13:46 PM
To a point its important.  But its not the defining factor.... Not to sound like a hallmark card, but as long as you care for each other, support each other, respect each other, love each other, get turned on by each other... I think you'll be ok.

My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years, and have dated for many years before then, we actually met when we were around 14 years old (28 years old now), and for the most part we have very different interests, but things are still awesome between us!

Sure, some things interest us both equally - but I would really say for the most part we are on different ends of the spectrum, and thats totally fine, we both know it, and it doesn't hinder our love life in anyway! All is well in the House of BIG ACH, and all shall be well in the House of Deicide ;)
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: affeman on October 14, 2010, 02:16:28 PM
Translation: Can a relationship function if the girl doesn't share your love for men in thongs?
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 14, 2010, 02:17:31 PM
To a point its important.  But its not the defining factor.... Not to sound like a hallmark card, but as long as you care for each other, support each other, respect each other, love each other, get turned on by each other... I think you'll be ok.

My wife and I have been married for almost 5 years, and have dated for many years before then, we actually met when we were around 14 years old (28 years old now), and for the most part we have very different interests, but things are still awesome between us!

Sure, some things interest us both equally - but I would really say for the most part we are on different ends of the spectrum, and thats totally fine, we both know it, and it doesn't hinder our love life in anyway! All is well in the House of BIG ACH, and all shall be well in the House of Deicide ;)

Thing is, my gf and I have zero common interests although I am slightly interested in her stuff, she studies industrial design and is pretty artistic and I can dig it but she neither understands nor cares for my stuff; she can't remember the name of the uni I am doing my MSc at. Sometimes that bothers me; the love and passion is there but sometimes I wonder if that can carry it all the way (and of course other problems like her only having a student visa but...). Maybe you are right.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: The True Adonis on October 14, 2010, 02:18:12 PM
Or how important do you think it is for your gf/partner to be interested in what you do?

Opinions?
100 percent.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 14, 2010, 02:18:28 PM
Translation: Can a relationship function if the girl doesn't share your love for men in thongs?

Not really, it's more about a lack of intellectual interests on her part. For example, I am fascinated by language and she has ZERO interest in anything language related.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: che on October 14, 2010, 02:18:43 PM
Reason?

 My wife goes to church every sunday  ,I'm an atheist ,we don't like the same movies ,we don't like the same sports ,we don't like the same food  ,we never talk about my job or her job ,she works out at a gym , I work out at home ....................etc.
We like to fuck , we get along just fine.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: The True Adonis on October 14, 2010, 02:19:52 PM
My wife goes to church every sunday  ,I'm an atheist ,we don't like the same movies ,we don't like the same sports ,we don't like the same food  ,we never talk about my job or her job ,she works out at a gym , I work out at home ....................etc.
We like to fuck , we get along just fine.

Thats just fucking horrible.  Sorry, I wouldn`t waste my time if that was my situation.  Don`t sound too close in my opinion.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 14, 2010, 02:20:25 PM
My wife goes to church every sunday  ,I'm an atheist ,we don't like the same movies ,we don't like the same sports ,we don't like the same food  ,we never talk about my job or her job ,she works out at a gym , I work out at home ....................etc.
We like to fuck , we get along just fine.


Wow. So your marriage survives on sex alone? I could never be together with a very religious person I think.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: che on October 14, 2010, 02:20:55 PM
Thats just fucking horrible.  Sorry, I wouldn`t waste my time if that was my situation.  Don`t sound too close in my opinion.

 ::)
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: The True Adonis on October 14, 2010, 02:22:40 PM
::)
I`m serious.  I think most people have awful relationships with their partners or whatever.  I can`t believe the lack of communication and the lack of interests amongst people and their significant others.

It really boggles my mind actually.  I also think it contributes to the collective stupidity of our society. 
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: che on October 14, 2010, 02:23:03 PM
So your marriage survives on sex alone?

Nope , we love each other .
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: XXXII/LX on October 14, 2010, 02:23:15 PM
The girl I am dating now doesn't have any interests it seems, she just agrees with absolutely everything I like or want to do  8)

pretty fucked up actually


This is really annoying to me. Sure a woman is just the useless shit wrapped around a vagina, but a decent personality goes a long way.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: XXXII/LX on October 14, 2010, 02:24:18 PM
Nope , we love each other .

And she has a great ass......
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: che on October 14, 2010, 02:25:51 PM
I`m serious.  I think most people have awful relationships with their partners or whatever.  I can`t believe the lack of communication and the lack of interests amongst people and their significant others.

It really boggles my mind actually.  I also think it contributes to the collective stupidity of our society. 
I have a great relationship with my wife .
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: che on October 14, 2010, 02:26:55 PM
And she has a great ass......
Yes ,she does .thank you  :)
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 14, 2010, 02:27:14 PM
I`m serious.  I think most people have awful relationships with their partners or whatever.  I can`t believe the lack of communication and the lack of interests amongst people and their significant others.

It really boggles my mind actually.  I also think it contributes to the collective stupidity of our society. 

You can care about someone without having 1 to 1 interests.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: The True Adonis on October 14, 2010, 02:32:36 PM
You can care about someone without having 1 to 1 interests.
Of course, but its not going to be on a deep, meaningful level in my opinion.  I could never be with someone intellectually inferior for instance.  It just wouldn`t work.  It couldn`t work.  I would have a Meltdown trying to explain everything.  :-\
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: _bruce_ on October 14, 2010, 02:33:58 PM
We should have one hobby/interest in common.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: XXXII/LX on October 14, 2010, 02:35:02 PM
Yes ,she does .thank you  :)

No problem. Props.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: che on October 14, 2010, 02:35:27 PM
  I would have a Meltdown trying to explain everything.  :-\
no if you really love that person .
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: The True Adonis on October 14, 2010, 02:36:19 PM
no if you really love that person .
True.  To each their own I guess. 
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: BIG ACH on October 14, 2010, 02:37:03 PM
Of course, but its not going to be on a deep, meaningful level in my opinion.  I could never be with someone intellectually inferior for instance.  It just wouldn`t work.  It couldn`t work.  I would have a Meltdown trying to explain everything.  :-\

Just because you have different interests, doesn't mean they are intellectually inferior!!!

You could know a lot about Chemistry - be an EXPERT in the field

And she could know a lot about biology  - be an EXPERT in the field


Different interests, both intellectual on a certain topic!  Get what I'm saying big man?
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 14, 2010, 02:39:11 PM
Just because you have different interests, doesn't mean they are intellectually inferior!!!

You could know a lot about Chemistry - be an EXPERT in the field

And she could know a lot about biology  - be an EXPERT in the field


Different interests, both intellectual on a certain topic!  Get what I'm saying big man?

My gf doesn#t have any intellectual interests. :-\
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Master Blaster on October 14, 2010, 02:42:09 PM
My gf doesn#t have any intellectual interests. :-\

Who the fuck cares? She's just a girl to leave your sperm in.

Hope that helps.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: The True Adonis on October 14, 2010, 02:44:35 PM
Just because you have different interests, doesn't mean they are intellectually inferior!!!

You could know a lot about Chemistry - be an EXPERT in the field

And she could know a lot about biology  - be an EXPERT in the field


Different interests, both intellectual on a certain topic!  Get what I'm saying big man?
Very true, my friend.  Sometimes as the "resident provocateur of Getbig", I can be an incorrigible asshole.  You are actually one of the few people that can pull me back from time to time.  ;)
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: The True Adonis on October 14, 2010, 02:45:35 PM
My gf doesn#t have any intellectual interests. :-\
Perhaps you didn`t inflate to 25 Psi properly.  ???
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: unracked on October 14, 2010, 02:51:46 PM
Common interests are important but I believe more importantly is that both individuals come from a similar backround/upbringing etc.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: BIG ACH on October 14, 2010, 02:57:50 PM
Very true, my friend.  Sometimes as the "resident provocateur of Getbig", I can be an incorrigible asshole.  You are actually one of the few people that can pull me back from time to time.  ;)

Bah... whatchoo talkin about bro! LOL  No one can pull you back lol
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Earl1972 on October 14, 2010, 05:54:26 PM
My wife goes to church every sunday  ,I'm an atheist ,we don't like the same movies ,we don't like the same sports ,we don't like the same food  ,we never talk about my job or her job ,she works out at a gym , I work out at home ....................etc.
We like to fuck , we get along just fine.


you will not last

if a person stays with anybody until the day they die, the person will basically be the same as them

E
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: che on October 14, 2010, 06:00:57 PM
you will not last

if a person stays with anybody until the day they die, the person will basically be the same as them

E

Still going strong after 10 years .
                                                    I hope this helps
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: FREAKgeek on October 14, 2010, 06:08:56 PM
She wanted to lift weights with me. I told her to lift the vacuum instead.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Stavios on October 14, 2010, 07:46:15 PM
This is really annoying to me. Sure a woman is just the useless shit wrapped around a vagina, but a decent personality goes a long way.

yeah, I think it will annoye me a bit soon if she keeps being that way.

I have way too much control over her, but in some ways I like it.

like if I talk to some girl at the gym and she asks "who was that, how do you know her blablabla", I just say "You really don't want to go there, stop with the jealousy right now". And then she apologize  ???

 Pretty different than my ex(es) who would NEVER stop arguing about every fucking thing !
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: HTexan on October 14, 2010, 07:56:32 PM
Depends.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: saucetradomous on October 14, 2010, 08:07:37 PM
Thats just fucking horrible.  Sorry, I wouldn`t waste my time if that was my situation.  Don`t sound too close in my opinion.

Time apart makes the heart grow fonder fool
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: The True Adonis on October 14, 2010, 08:21:18 PM
Time apart makes the heart grow fonder fool
I don`t deal in cliches.

Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: ~UN_$ung~ on October 14, 2010, 08:45:25 PM
the question is too reductionist and over simplistic

there are cases when people who have NOTHING in common can fall in love and make a relationship work..........has a lot to do with the individuals involved


and in other cases, people look for those of the same ilk





if you think about it though, how many married people are into the same shit..........he golfs she coaches cheerleading............ he doesd fantasy football, she is in a book club



being into the same things isnt all that important.........




but with people into fitness, it is kind of important to find another who is into that lifestyle
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: PJim on October 14, 2010, 08:51:36 PM
I think you should hold the same morals and values more than anything. Interests are usually going to differ due to gender and aren't as vital.  I don't think it's about weighing things up so bluntly. As long as you can and WANT to support one another for ultimately your own self-interest, you're good to go.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: 2ND COMING on October 14, 2010, 08:54:28 PM
Or how important do you think it is for your gf/partner to be interested in what you do?

Opinions?

mexicans
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: DK II on October 14, 2010, 09:16:51 PM
Just because you have different interests, doesn't mean they are intellectually inferior!!!

You could know a lot about Chemistry - be an EXPERT in the field

And she could know a lot about biology  - be an EXPERT in the field


Different interests, both intellectual on a certain topic!  Get what I'm saying big man?

And if you listen to her Biology talk and she listens to your Chemistry talk everything is perfect!

I don't think common interests are THAT important, what is important is to respect the other person.
For example, to bite on your tongue and survive 2 hours in a fucking stage play but on the other hand she goes to cinema with you for any science fiction / action movie.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: wavelength on October 15, 2010, 12:05:24 AM
Some common interest is nice but it's also a good opportunity to get each other interested in other things.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: MAXX on October 15, 2010, 12:09:05 AM
The girl I am dating now doesn't have any interests it seems, she just agrees with absolutely everything I like or want to do  8)

pretty fucked up actually
good in a way. she will probably cook your food if you tell her to. try it :D
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Parker on October 15, 2010, 12:15:40 AM
yeah, I think it will annoye me a bit soon if she keeps being that way.

I have way too much control over her, but in some ways I like it.

like if I talk to some girl at the gym and she asks "who was that, how do you know her blablabla", I just say "You really don't want to go there, stop with the jealousy right now". And then she apologize  ???

 Pretty different than my ex(es) who would NEVER stop arguing about every fucking thing !
Low.Self.Esteem. You will eventual grow tired and despise her. Chicas with no backbone, either have been taught that or it's a learned behavior pattern from their mothers/fathers, or they were in abusive relationships.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: _bruce_ on October 15, 2010, 01:15:48 AM
Perhaps you didn`t inflate to 25 Psi properly.  ???

 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: devilsmile on October 15, 2010, 01:18:53 AM
Or how important do you think it is for your gf/partner to be interested in what you do?

Opinions?

LOL they are the most important... :D

wtf are you on about... another virgin who thinks "having sex with a good looking girl" is so dificult to find and a luxury and is easy to be around with a hottie just for the looks because it's everyones fantasy ::)

I can fucka girl one time but if she is the total opposite from me I just don't get horoused anymore, it's just waist of my time... they have to have "something" else aswell.


the saying "women should stfup" applys here for me, truly.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 15, 2010, 02:38:42 AM
And if you listen to her Biology talk and she listens to your Chemistry talk everything is perfect!

I don't think common interests are THAT important, what is important is to respect the other person.
For example, to bite on your tongue and survive 2 hours in a fucking stage play but on the other hand she goes to cinema with you for any science fiction / action movie.

Yeah, I went to a rather shitty New York Ballet performance, horrible stuff but like I said, she can't even remember the name of the uni I am studying at, let alone what I am studying. I realise it's not important to her but you'd think she would at least take note of the name.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 15, 2010, 02:40:52 AM
Some common interest is nice but it's also a good opportunity to get each other interested in other things.

I take interest in her art and design things but...sie kann mit meinen Sachen gar nix anfangen. Naja, ist fraglich, ob Liebe alleine ausreicht.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: ironneck on October 15, 2010, 02:46:25 AM
Translation: Can a relationship function if the girl doesn't share your love for men in thongs?


exactly this deicide seem to love huge men in thongs
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: spinnis on October 15, 2010, 03:07:26 AM
100 percent.

x1


Everyone is like "I guess opposites attracts right honey?"

and BOOM 4 months later is a done deal.

Well I would say Caring is more importaant that actualt interest, she cares about what you do, asks a few questions once in a while. Doesnt have to SHare the same interests but could at least care.

without that its doomed.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: spinnis on October 15, 2010, 03:09:04 AM
Yeah, I went to a rather shitty New York Ballet performance, horrible stuff but like I said, she can't even remember the name of the uni I am studying at, let alone what I am studying. I realise it's not important to her but you'd think she would at least take note of the name.

this is the "caring" Im talking about, you dont have tp share interests, but you should Care.

you should pretend forgetting her name.

"when you remember my uni I remember your name"

Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 15, 2010, 03:43:47 AM
this is the "caring" Im talking about, you dont have tp share interests, but you should Care.

you should pretend forgetting her name.

"when you remember my uni I remember your name"



Well, she is quite young so many improvements can be made with time.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: spinnis on October 15, 2010, 03:48:18 AM
Well, she is quite young so many improvements can be made with time.

just explain what you feel to her. About as easy as that =)
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 15, 2010, 03:49:35 AM
just explain what you feel to her. About as easy as that =)

Det er samt!
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Parker on October 15, 2010, 03:55:18 AM
Yeah, I went to a rather shitty New York Ballet performance, horrible stuff but like I said, she can't even remember the name of the uni I am studying at, let alone what I am studying. I realise it's not important to her but you'd think she would at least take note of the name.
She is an idiot, end of story....Time to open a new book, or amend (edit) the chapter.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: wavelength on October 15, 2010, 04:54:46 AM
She is a idiot, end of story...

 ;D
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Parker on October 15, 2010, 05:03:25 AM
;D
Yep, "an"... ;D
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 15, 2010, 05:04:47 AM
;D

No, she is just not a very intellectual person, which is fine. She is more an artsy person but she really has no clue about my interests or studies.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: spinnis on October 15, 2010, 05:12:04 AM
No, she is just not a very intellectual person, which is fine. She is more an artsy person but she really has no clue about my interests or studies.

Do like this.

Put on her favorite movie, sit down and watch it with her.

thenm our of nowhere GIVE HER THE BIGGEST FUCKING BITCH SLAP you can while switching what you're watching do an olympia contest and then you say "Its time for you to like what I like now bitch".

That will solve it, so will too shocked to even react and her brain will be re-programmed  ;D
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: WillGrant on October 15, 2010, 05:25:00 AM
If she is intersted in my Johnson, I am into her poontang, THAT is common interest.
I thought you were an old gay ass muncher
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Playboy on October 15, 2010, 05:31:06 AM
Or how important do you think it is for your gf/partner to be interested in what you do?

Opinions?
The more you have in common, the better you'll get along because you share common interests. opposites only attract in mathematics. Not real life with real people.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Tapeworm on October 15, 2010, 05:43:27 AM
A hell of a lot less important than character, disposition, and emotional maturity.  Oh, as well as communication and conflict resolution.  Have you two hashed this out?
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: wavelength on October 15, 2010, 05:58:01 AM
No, she is just not a very intellectual person, which is fine. She is more an artsy person but she really has no clue about my interests or studies.

I hope you know what I meant, see Parker's response.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Princess L on October 15, 2010, 09:42:38 AM
No, she is just not a very intellectual person, which is fine. She is more an artsy person but she really has no clue about my interests or studies.

Move on.  She sounds very self-absorbed.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Princess L on October 15, 2010, 09:44:52 AM
yeah, I think it will annoye me a bit soon if she keeps being that way.

I have way too much control over her, but in some ways I like it.

like if I talk to some girl at the gym and she asks "who was that, how do you know her blablabla", I just say "You really don't want to go there, stop with the jealousy right now". And then she apologize  ???

 Pretty different than my ex(es) who would NEVER stop arguing about every fucking thing !

That's sad.  Does she come from an abusive background?
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: w8m8 on October 15, 2010, 10:15:50 AM
Yeah, I went to a rather shitty New York Ballet performance, horrible stuff but like I said, she can't even remember the name of the uni I am studying at, let alone what I am studying. I realise it's not important to her but you'd think she would at least take note of the name.

I wouldn't mind if my partner thought the NY Ballet performance was shitty ... I'd appreciate he went along even though he wasn't keen on it .. I wouldn't expect him to go anymore .. I wouldn't become dis-interested in it but I'd save it for times I do things without him

I would be fine also if upfront he said no way to the Ballet .. so if she isn't into languages it's fine .. it doesn't negate the fact you love them and shouldn't hinder you in continuing that ..  unless you really need someone to be very similar to you  .. having things that much in common isn't imperative

I would want to accompany him in what he likes to do as well .. if I wasn't liking it I would say so .. and we could just try something else the next time


I would feel quite unimportant and not connected to my partner if he didn't recall where I was studying / working  .. I don't think people have to be totally enthralled with everything about each other .. but in the beginning stages it sure is natural to want to learn all you can and enjoy each other as much as possible .. including trying new things together

Sadly this seems like you are a lot more into her and she isn't really putting much into doing the same for you  ..... it's fine as long as you accept that is how she is .. because I'm betting she may not change much

You say she is young .. is she mature for her age ? .. a lot of girls in their 20's are not really ready for a forever love kinda thing .. they usually are the ones that want "more" when they hit 30 or so

I wish you luck .. it seems like you are quite taken with this girl  :)

Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Fatpanda on October 15, 2010, 10:22:10 AM
Or how important do you think it is for your gf/partner to be interested in what you do?

Opinions?
::) what interest is this to a fag like you ?

you should be more interested in getting rid of the beasties infesting your body, getting that lazy eye fixed, hair implants and perhaps a lip reduction.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: CalvinH on October 15, 2010, 10:57:56 AM
I wonder how many people in this thread that are giving advice are actually in a relationship ???
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Earl1972 on October 15, 2010, 12:30:19 PM
Still going strong after 10 years .
                                                    I hope this helps

like i said, lets see if you are still together when you are old and gray ;)

E
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 15, 2010, 03:27:34 PM

It's not meanness on her part, it is generational and cultural. I have to admit, the stuff I do is quite arcane to most people so it's understandable that she might not be very interested. Normally I would agree with you that most girls in their twenties are not ready for that sort of thing but I think in her case, partially cultural, partially based on character, she is. At least, she has convinced me of such and I ran some pretty hard tests in the beginning because I simply don't trust people and it takes a long time for me to trust someone. She does do a lot in her own way. She made a hand made picture frame for a picture of us and she is very caring as a person. The lack of intellectual interests could be a generation thing; not many people her age are interested in much and I think ultimately that is not that important as I have plenty of friends I can shoot the shit with. The ballet was ok but I was there more as a favour to her and she knew it and appreciated it and let me know that. I think I painted the wrong picture here. She is really is a great girl, by far the best girlfriend I ever had. We never fight, which is a blessing and emptionally we have a great rapport as we are quite similar in some ways. As I said I think I might have painted the wrong picture in some way.

I wouldn't mind if my partner thought the NY Ballet performance was shitty ... I'd appreciate he went along even though he wasn't keen on it .. I wouldn't expect him to go anymore .. I wouldn't become dis-interested in it but I'd save it for times I do things without him

I would be fine also if upfront he said no way to the Ballet .. so if she isn't into languages it's fine .. it doesn't negate the fact you love them and shouldn't hinder you in continuing that ..  unless you really need someone to be very similar to you  .. having things that much in common isn't imperative

I would want to accompany him in what he likes to do as well .. if I wasn't liking it I would say so .. and we could just try something else the next time


I would feel quite unimportant and not connected to my partner if he didn't recall where I was studying / working  .. I don't think people have to be totally enthralled with everything about each other .. but in the beginning stages it sure is natural to want to learn all you can and enjoy each other as much as possible .. including trying new things together

Sadly this seems like you are a lot more into her and she isn't really putting much into doing the same for you  ..... it's fine as long as you accept that is how she is .. because I'm betting she may not change much

You say she is young .. is she mature for her age ? .. a lot of girls in their 20's are not really ready for a forever love kinda thing .. they usually are the ones that want "more" when they hit 30 or so

I wish you luck .. it seems like you are quite taken with this girl  :)



It's not meanness on her part, it is generational and cultural. I have to admit, the stuff I do is quite arcane to most people so it's understandable that she might not be very interested. Normally I would agree with you that most girls in their twenties are not ready for that sort of thing but I think in her case, partially cultural, partially based on character, she is. At least, she has convinced me of such and I ran some pretty hard tests in the beginning because I simply don't trust people and it takes a long time for me to trust someone. She
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Tapeworm on October 15, 2010, 07:29:03 PM
I wonder how many people in this thread that are giving advice are actually in a relationship ???

Haha, busted!  ;D
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Spike on October 15, 2010, 07:45:29 PM
Thats just fucking horrible.  Sorry, I wouldn`t waste my time if that was my situation.  Don`t sound too close in my opinion.

i find satisfaction in sharing a hardcore latenite workout, then hittn up IHOP after we down some NO xplod....then cleanin out each other asses in the shower with a hott luffa and a toothbrush

ps i like to catch



 ;)
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: evandatp on October 15, 2010, 09:11:29 PM
My gf doesn#t have any intellectual interests. :-\
You mean she refuses to be your proctologist ?
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: marcie999 on October 15, 2010, 09:50:16 PM
If they like the same things as you, it's easier but folks grow out of interests sometimes and want to explore other things. This can be a problem, or not, depending on the couple.

They should be sympathetic to your interests and allow you the time to stay in touch with it if they aren't in to it themselves, and you for them. But if your interest is a way of life thing like BB, your partner would have to be ok with some long time changes for it to work.

Those folks who have nothing in commmon get their arses put through the ringer when the serious life and death shit kicks in. If they respect each other they should be able to shift things to a new level. If not, ever onward and upward I guess.

I look at a lot of my Dad's mates who married beautiful women bitching now they dont have a thought in their head and are a pain to live with. Not wasting any sympathy on them. It just turned out lonely for them in the long run and for their partners. How lonely to have a guy who built a life around you and your kids who cant stand anything you have to say.

I have no answers. If it works its a wonderful thing, but shit happens and people die or have a personality transplant fueled by dickhead friends or aging and it can all hit the fan in a minute. Relationships are under attack from reality from the moment they form. If they can take the hits together and pull their energies in the same direction and not wear each other out with crap its on.

Deicide, that girl sounds to me like she hasnt figured that stuff out yet.

Give it time.
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: Deicide on October 16, 2010, 03:26:58 AM
If they like the same things as you, it's easier but folks grow out of interests sometimes and want to explore other things. This can be a problem, or not, depending on the couple.

They should be sympathetic to your interests and allow you the time to stay in touch with it if they aren't in to it themselves, and you for them. But if your interest is a way of life thing like BB, your partner would have to be ok with some long time changes for it to work.

Those folks who have nothing in commmon get their arses put through the ringer when the serious life and death shit kicks in. If they respect each other they should be able to shift things to a new level. If not, ever onward and upward I guess.

I look at a lot of my Dad's mates who married beautiful women bitching now they dont have a thought in their head and are a pain to live with. Not wasting any sympathy on them. It just turned out lonely for them in the long run and for their partners. How lonely to have a guy who built a life around you and your kids who cant stand anything you have to say.

I have no answers. If it works its a wonderful thing, but shit happens and people die or have a personality transplant fueled by dickhead friends or aging and it can all hit the fan in a minute. Relationships are under attack from reality from the moment they form. If they can take the hits together and pull their energies in the same direction and not wear each other out with crap its on.

Deicide, that girl sounds to me like she hasnt figured that stuff out yet.

Give it time.


Wise council. Thanks :)
Title: Re: How important do you think common interests are in a relationship?
Post by: _bruce_ on October 16, 2010, 03:40:22 AM
Over her dead body  >:(