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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: muscularny on February 25, 2013, 07:01:43 PM
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Just got done watching a documentary called bouncers, pretty funny, im sure many here worked as security in nightclubs (doormen, bouncers security or whatever your country calls it).
share some funny interesting stories
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LOTS
but some might get me in trouble...or killed
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In college I worked as a bouncer at one of the bars. Long story short, two dudes who we threw out kicked the back door trying to get in. One dude swung at me and I decked him in the face, and his buddy, while getting held by another bouncer until the cops got there(they broke the door) pooped his pants.
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In college I worked as a bouncer at one of the bars. Long story short, two dudes who we threw out kicked the back door trying to get in. One dude swung at me and I decked him in the face, and his buddy, while getting held by another bouncer until the cops got there(they broke the door) pooped his pants.
similar story...
girl was having her stagette. being a bitch so i was walking her out. got close to the front doors and she turned and tried to punch me in the face. i spun her around and took her to the ground.................. ........................ ......shit her pants
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similar story...
girl was having her stagette. being a bitch so i was walking her out. got close to the front doors and she turned and tried to punch me in the face. i spun her around and took her to the ground.................. ........................ ......shit her pants
hahaha least she wasnt wearing a mini skirt with no underwear
,
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Just got done watching a documentary called bouncers, pretty funny, im sure many here worked as security in nightclubs (doormen, bouncers security or whatever your country calls it).
share some funny interesting stories
i once did a shot of my boss' piss when i was a doorman...
it was a biker bar and he was a striker... you kinda do what they say...
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One such incident while working as a bouncer at age 16 in a bar, Hyde Park Corner, resulted in a fight where a kick to the face, fracturing his jaw, orbital socket, and detaching his retina, ended Singerman's time working at the bar for good.
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Bounced in some tough bars the tougher the bar the bigger the gun in my car,most times it was my pump action shot gun.That was more the sort the shit out gun.Never ripped a shirt when I showed the gun.
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Do people in bars and clubs not have control of their bowels? lol
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i once did a shot of my boss' piss when i was a doorman...
it was a biker bar and he was a striker... you kinda do what they say...
hey bro you're not supposed to drink another mans piss then tell people about it on the internet.
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I was at FSU in 1989 and was at this club called the MOON. They had some pro wrestlers in there acting like pure dicks, Sting threw his drink in some girls face, Lex Luger was there and the tag team the 2 black guys one was Ron Simmons. THey were talking a bunch of shit to everyone, even to one of the smaller bouncers, pushing people around. I knew all the bouncers there bc they trained at Golds. He asked me to go get Irvin. Irvin was the nose tackle for FAMU and was with the Navy elite prior to that. This dude was the real deal. He was 6'1 or 2 and weighed 300# very lean and fast. When he walked up, Sting said what is this steroid dude going to do. Irvin grap Sting and Lex each by the throat and slammed them agaisnt one of the bars hard. They were shitting on themselves the way he man handled them. Ron Simmons came up to him and asked Irvin to please let them leave in peace, bunch of pussies. 4 big Pro wreslters scared of this one big ass bounce-football player. The other bouncers just stood there amased. I was laughing my ass off.
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;D
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I was at FSU in 1989 and was at this club called the MOON. They had some pro wrestlers in there acting like pure dicks, Sting threw his drink in some girls face, Lex Luger was there and the tag team the 2 black guys one was Ron Simmons. THey were talking a bunch of shit to everyone, even to one of the smaller bouncers, pushing people around. I knew all the bouncers there bc they trained at Golds. He asked me to go get Irvin. Irvin was the nose tackle for FAMU and was with the Navy elite prior to that. This dude was the real deal. He was 6'1 or 2 and weighed 300# very lean and fast. When he walked up, Sting said what is this steroid dude going to do. Irvin grap Sting and Lex each by the throat and slammed them agaisnt one of the bars hard. They were shitting on themselves the way he man handled them. Ron Simmons came up to him and asked Irvin to please let them leave in peace, bunch of pussies. 4 big Pro wreslters scared of this one big ass bounce-football player. The other bouncers just stood there amased. I was laughing my ass off.
hahah I remember that night, was crazy!
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i once did a shot of my boss' piss when i was a doorman...
it was a biker bar and he was a striker... you kinda do what they say...
Bowler? Forward soccer player? Refusing to work?
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Once a group of 5 immigrants had to be removed from the club. Professional team work got them out the door without a fight. Someone (i.e. me) wasn't paying attention, and one of the fucks thought I had a screw loose -- and so he stabbed me in the back with a screwdriver. Hit a vertebra just above the bottom of my shoulder blade, so no real damage done.
Wait, that's not funny! >:(
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Funny and happened more than once: Girls coming up to me and colleagues, and swooning after touching our rock-hard abs. Not realizing that we were all wearing a vest... ;D As if a 300-Lb fat guy with a bloated pig face (old me) would have rock-hard abs!
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hey bro you're not supposed to drink another mans piss then tell people about it on the internet.
i must have missed that chapter in the online bible
Bowler? Forward soccer player? Refusing to work?
enforcer... he's actually in prison for life today for murder and gangsterism... nice guy though... just a bit of a maniac
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i must have missed that chapter in the online bible
enforcer... he's actually in prison for life today for murder and gangsterism... nice guy though... just a bit of a maniac
Thanks, I was wondering.
Still funny that Hells Angels claim to be about freedom -- and then have a very strict hierarchy and job descriptions for themselves. :)
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Thanks, I was wondering.
Still funny that Hells Angels claim to be about freedom -- and then have a very strict hierarchy and job descriptions for themselves. :)
yeah, it was an interesting chapter in my life
never got very close to that lifestyle... close enough to figure out that it was not for me
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Had a buddy who was a bouncer and he said the owner was sick of the fights so the new strategy was to drug the drinks of the instigators because you can always tell who would be starting shit that night before it would happen. Within 1 or 2 hours they would be passed out. Problem solved. This only went on for about a month because a bartender was giving the drugs to women close to closing time.
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I like how in every thread like this, the bouncer/getbigger always wins the fight. I'm sure that's how it ALWAYS goes ::)
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I was at FSU in 1989 and was at this club called the MOON. They had some pro wrestlers in there acting like pure dicks, Sting threw his drink in some girls face, Lex Luger was there and the tag team the 2 black guys one was Ron Simmons. THey were talking a bunch of shit to everyone, even to one of the smaller bouncers, pushing people around. I knew all the bouncers there bc they trained at Golds. He asked me to go get Irvin. Irvin was the nose tackle for FAMU and was with the Navy elite prior to that. This dude was the real deal. He was 6'1 or 2 and weighed 300# very lean and fast. When he walked up, Sting said what is this steroid dude going to do. Irvin grap Sting and Lex each by the throat and slammed them agaisnt one of the bars hard. They were shitting on themselves the way he man handled them. Ron Simmons came up to him and asked Irvin to please let them leave in peace, bunch of pussies. 4 big Pro wreslters scared of this one big ass bounce-football player. The other bouncers just stood there amased. I was laughing my ass off.
Awesome 8)
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Funny and happened more than once: Girls coming up to me and colleagues, and swooning after touching our rock-hard abs. Not realizing that we were all wearing a vest... ;D As if a 300-Lb fat guy with a bloated pig face (old me) would have rock-hard abs!
;D
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I like how in every thread like this, the bouncer/getbigger always wins the fight. I'm sure that's how it ALWAYS goes ::)
Well, the thread is about "funny" bouncer-stories, so people are meant to tell the story they thought was funny, not the time when they got injured etc
For every good story, there are always 100 bad ones, but nobody is asking for those in the thread.
If the thread was called, "tell everything that happened to you when you were working as a bouncer, (describe each and every day)", then i'm sure there would be alot of boring stories, as well as a lot of stories where the Getbiggian Protagonist would be seen in a less bright light.
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Well, the thread is about "funny" bouncer-stories, so people are meant to tell the story they thought was funny, not the time when they got injured etc
For every good story, there are always 100 bad ones, but nobody is asking for those in the thread.
If the thread was called, "tell everything that happened to you when you were working as a bouncer, (describe each and every day)", then i'm sure there would be alot of boring stories, as well as a lot of stories where the Getbiggian Protagonist would be seen in a less bright light.
Fuck you for making a valid argument and good points, rendering my post useless
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I was at FSU in 1989 and was at this club called the MOON. They had some pro wrestlers in there acting like pure dicks, Sting threw his drink in some girls face, Lex Luger was there and the tag team the 2 black guys one was Ron Simmons. THey were talking a bunch of shit to everyone, even to one of the smaller bouncers, pushing people around. I knew all the bouncers there bc they trained at Golds. He asked me to go get Irvin. Irvin was the nose tackle for FAMU and was with the Navy elite prior to that. This dude was the real deal. He was 6'1 or 2 and weighed 300# very lean and fast. When he walked up, Sting said what is this steroid dude going to do. Irvin grap Sting and Lex each by the throat and slammed them agaisnt one of the bars hard. They were shitting on themselves the way he man handled them. Ron Simmons came up to him and asked Irvin to please let them leave in peace, bunch of pussies. 4 big Pro wreslters scared of this one big ass bounce-football player. The other bouncers just stood there amased. I was laughing my ass off.
Wasn't Irwin also a lifter at Gold's back then? Ron Simmons, former FSU linebacker...he should have known better...
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Once I let in an underage chick who was using a Sears card as an ID, then I was plowing her good and proper in the back, telling her she was going to be my regular Saturday night thing. Then the head bouncer ("the cooler") walked in and told me to take the train. I protested that I was on my break, but he said, "Stay on it." Then a polar bear fell on my friend. The end.
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I don't know how anyone hangs around/works in bars sober, the few times I've done it Ive lost complete faith in humanity.
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Once I let in an underage chick who was using a Sears card as an ID, then I was plowing her good and proper in the back, telling her she was going to be my regular Saturday night thing. Then the head bouncer ("the cooler") walked in and told me to take the train. I protested that I was on my break, but he said, "Stay on it." Then a polar bear fell on my friend. The end.
Dalton was such a dick. He smashed my head through a table just for letting my chick dance on it.
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Dalton was such a dick. He smashed my head through a table just for letting my chick dance on it.
things in town were going just fine until he showed up
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Fuck you for making a valid argument and good points, rendering my post useless
;D
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I work at a pretty decent bar now. Rarely any hassle at all.
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I work at a pretty decent bar now. Rarely any hassle at all.
(http://www.hollandsenieuwe.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/31.jpg)
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(http://www.hollandsenieuwe.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/31.jpg)
Lawrence Welk would be proud.
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Had a buddy who was a bouncer and he said the owner was sick of the fights so the new strategy was to drug the drinks of the instigators because you can always tell who would be starting shit that night before it would happen. Within 1 or 2 hours they would be passed out. Problem solved. This only went on for about a month because a bartender was giving the drugs to women close to closing time.
Do you have any idea how fucked up that is.
That shit is worst than rape.
Atleast in a typical rape, you don't risk passing out behind a dumpster in 50 below.
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I like how in every thread like this, the bouncer/getbigger always wins the fight. I'm sure that's how it ALWAYS goes ::)
I can tell a story like that. I didn't "win" or "lose" because it wasn't really a fight, but it sure wasn't pleasant.
I was working the door at a very busy spot, an afterhours spot that got bombarded with people trying to get in late night. so this one really hot chick, who was high as fuck on some really strong shit,keeps trying to just walk right by me and into the club, and i keep stopping her. like i said the place was nuts and she's really being a pain in the ass, so i get sick of it, pick her up and dump her on her ass outside of the ropes.
She goes fucking nuclear, absolutely feral....."NOBODY PUTS THEIR FUCKING HANDS ON MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" and launches herself onto my arm and shoulder like a rabid cat. she's got long ass nails and high heels on, and she trying to scratch my throat and eyes , and dig her heels into me.
Now people see that I'm distracted and start bum rushing the door and it's total fucking mayhem, people are eveywhere and I've got this chick by the neck and she's dug into my arm for dear life. and me like an asshole..I'm still trying to mainain order with this maniac chick atacking me. I don't want to punch her in the face, she's a tiny little thing and I've got her in a position where she can't get to me, but she is scratching the shit out of my arm. this chick was INSANE with rage,
Thankfully two of the other guys were right there and i say " get this fucking bitch off my arm before i knock her out" and they pulled her off my arm. and it wasn't easy....I had two guys grabing at her wrists and she was putting up a hell of a fight. I don't know what she was on but I have never seen anything like that, it was freaky. she was like one of those monsters from ALIEN that suck onto your face
My boy Kriss, who was a monster at 6'2" and 270 lean, picks her up over his head and power slams her onto the sidewalk, she broke her leg..her wrist, a bunch of ribs. that was a fucked up experience.
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Once I let in an underage chick who was using a Sears card as an ID, then I was plowing her good and proper in the back, telling her she was going to be my regular Saturday night thing. Then the head bouncer ("the cooler") walked in and told me to take the train. I protested that I was on my break, but he said, "Stay on it." Then a polar bear fell on my friend. The end.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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I can tell a story like that. I didn't "win" or "lose" because it wasn't really a fight, but it sure wasn't pleasant.
I was working the door at a very busy spot, an afterhours spot that got bombarded with people trying to get in late night. so this one really hot chick, who was high as fuck on some really strong shit,keeps trying to just walk right by me and into the club, and i keep stopping her. like i said the place was nuts and she's really being a pain in the ass, so i get sick of it, pick her up and dump her on her ass outside of the ropes.
She goes fucking nuclear, absolutely feral....."NOBODY PUTS THEIR FUCKING HANDS ON MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!" and launches herself onto my arm and shoulder like a rabid cat. she's got long ass nails and high heels on, and she trying to scratch my throat and eyes , and dig her heels into me.
Now people see that I'm distracted and start bum rushing the door and it's total fucking mayhem, people are eveywhere and I've got this chick by the neck and she's dug into my arm for dear life. and me like an asshole..I'm still trying to mainain order with this maniac chick atacking me. I don't want to punch her in the face, she's a tiny little thing and I've got her in a position where she can't get to me, but she is scratching the shit out of my arm. this chick was INSANE with rage,
Thankfully two of the other guys were right there and i say " get this fucking bitch off my arm before i knock her out" and they pulled her off my arm. and it wasn't easy....I had two guys grabing at her wrists and she was putting up a hell of a fight. I don't know what she was on but I have never seen anything like that, it was freaky. she was like one of those monsters from ALIEN that suck onto your face
My boy Kriss, who was a monster at 6'2" and 270 lean, picks her up over his head and power slams her onto the sidewalk, she broke her leg..her wrist, a bunch of ribs. that was a fucked up experience.
Funny story. Good read.
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Once I let in an underage chick who was using a Sears card as an ID, then I was plowing her good and proper in the back, telling her she was going to be my regular Saturday night thing. Then the head bouncer ("the cooler") walked in and told me to take the train. I protested that I was on my break, but he said, "Stay on it." Then a polar bear fell on my friend. The end.
i just cut my finger on a can of tuna reading this... Hahaha.
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Sorry, but this is kinda related to the subject at hand but may be of some interest to you GetBiggers who appreciated Keith (OnlyMe) who always made serious things somewhat humerous.
Keith was at a major grocery store here in LV when a very obnoxious guy and gal ran through the store threatening people and stealing some alcohol.
When they were running out the front door, Keith managed to tackle the guy and sort of sat on him until the possee arrived in the form of LV's Metro Police Squad.
During this five to ten minute wait, the obnoxious, drugged up girl was screaming and pulling at Keith but Keith just sat there and laughed until the black and white showed up to relieve him of his sitting duties.
A few months later I was talking to the store manager and asked him what ever happened to those assholes and he informed me that those assholes sued the store and collected about $100,000 each.
The store paid because they did not want the bad publicity (or something like that.).
Keith received a word of thanks but those couple of assholes received much more and definitely proved that "Crime does pay!"
I'm almost sure that similar stories have occurred may times in nightclubs throughout the USA.
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I never worked in a bar and rarely ever went to them but one time I did I saw a bunch of scums drinking (this was some shit dive place I was watching UFC at) and one hag says to a guy at their table "no wonder your kid is a retard!". This guy smacked her so fucking hard you she lost some chiklets from her gums.
Guess after all was said and done the reason this scum bum flipped his shit is cuz he has a down syndrome daughter.
And one other time I walked right into a scummy pool hall as a big brawl was happening. Saw a guy get a cue whipped over his back. I turned around and walked back out the door.
Not my beef. Not my problem.
Bars are just breeding grounds for ridiculous violence.
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:D @ Groink and stuntmovie
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'01 working the door checkin ID's and 6 black dudes come up DRUNk as fuck so i couldn't let them in (it was an 18+ techno club in Hillcrest in San Diego)... and they would't leave and since it was almost 2am and closing time we just let them hang out... they start talking about "the game" tomorrow.. i asked if they were going, they said 'nah we're playin... for oregon". lol ... 6 dudes playing in a Bowl Game in just a few hours drunk as fuck at 2am (and driving a rental van. lol). i dunno how they got home.
i think thye bowl game was Oregon vs. Oregon St.
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There was a bar in town which had the most laughable group of doormen ever seen, basicly the manager employed a bunch of his friends instead of getting in real doormen and they were all out of shape slobs on a powertrip.
One of them a big fat baldy sack of shit who loved throwing his weight around i seen a skinny 130 pound man knock him clean out and he fell and broke his arm with his own weight.
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There was a bar in town which had the most laughable group of doormen ever seen, basicly the manager employed a bunch of his friends instead of getting in real doormen and they were all out of shape slobs on a powertrip.
One of them a big fat baldy sack of shit who loved throwing his weight around i seen a skinny 130 pound man knock him clean out and he fell and broke his arm with his own weight.
WAS THE BOUNCER ANABOLICHOLO?
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WAS THE BOUNCER ANABOLICHOLO?
Bluto couldn't bounce his boyfriend's ball sack off his face without teething it a bit and getting a bitch beat down.
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Bluto couldn't bounce his boyfriend's ball sack off his face without teething it a bit and getting a bitch beat down.
I GUESS YOU DIDN'T READ THE STORY THEN?
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Wasn't Irwin also a lifter at Gold's back then? Ron Simmons, former FSU linebacker...he should have known better...
Yes Irvin Clark was a lifter at Golds. Ron was an ex FSU linebacker, he set the bench record back then, doubt it still stands. I see u have knole in your name, do u remember Irvin, he was quite a site. Some of my friends who worked out alot came to visit me for Spring break and they could not believe his size.
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Just got done watching a documentary called bouncers, pretty funny, im sure many here worked as security in nightclubs (doormen, bouncers security or whatever your country calls it).
share some funny interesting stories
I have a few.
To sleepy to type, will try tomorrow.
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I GUESS YOU DIDN'T READ THE STORY THEN?
I GUESS YOU NEVER FOUND OUT HOW TO TURN CAPS OFF.