Any funny bouncer stories?

[dknole]

I was at FSU in 1989 and was at this club called the MOON. They had some pro wrestlers in there acting like pure dicks, Sting threw his drink in some girls face, Lex Luger was there and the tag team the 2 black guys one was Ron Simmons. THey were talking a bunch of shit to everyone, even to one of the smaller bouncers, pushing people around. I knew all the bouncers there bc they trained at Golds. He asked me to go get Irvin. Irvin was the nose tackle for FAMU and was with the Navy elite prior to that. This dude was the real deal. He was 6'1 or 2 and weighed 300# very lean and fast. When he walked up, Sting said what is this steroid dude going to do. Irvin grap Sting and Lex each by the throat and slammed them agaisnt one of the bars hard. They were shitting on themselves the way he man handled them. Ron Simmons came up to him and asked Irvin to please let them leave in peace, bunch of pussies. 4 big Pro wreslters scared of this one big ass bounce-football player. The other bouncers just stood there amased. I was laughing my ass off.

Wasn't Irwin also a lifter at Gold's back then? Ron Simmons, former FSU linebacker...he should have known better...

[Chadwick The Beta]

Once I let in an underage chick who was using a Sears card as an ID, then I was plowing her good and proper in the back, telling her she was going to be my regular Saturday night thing.  Then the head bouncer ("the cooler") walked in and told me to take the train.  I protested that I was on my break, but he said, "Stay on it."  Then a polar bear fell on my friend.  The end.

[Army of One]

I don't know how anyone hangs around/works in bars sober, the few times I've done it Ive lost complete faith in humanity.

[CARTEL]

Once I let in an underage chick who was using a Sears card as an ID, then I was plowing her good and proper in the back, telling her she was going to be my regular Saturday night thing.  Then the head bouncer ("the cooler") walked in and told me to take the train.  I protested that I was on my break, but he said, "Stay on it."  Then a polar bear fell on my friend.  The end.

Dalton was such a dick. He smashed my head through a table just for letting my chick dance on it.

[Chadwick The Beta]

Dalton was such a dick. He smashed my head through a table just for letting my chick dance on it.

things in town were going just fine until he showed up

[WOOO]

Fuck you for making a valid argument and good points, rendering my post useless

 

[Ursus]

I work at a pretty decent bar now. Rarely any hassle at all.

[freespirit]

I work at a pretty decent bar now. Rarely any hassle at all.

[Chadwick The Beta]

Lawrence Welk would be proud.

[MikMaq]

Had a buddy who was a bouncer and he said the owner was sick of the fights so the new strategy was to drug the drinks of the instigators because you can always tell who would be starting shit that night before it would happen.  Within 1 or 2 hours they would be passed out. Problem solved.  This only went on for about a month because a bartender was giving the drugs to women close to closing time.

Do you have any idea how fucked up that is.

That shit is worst than rape.


Atleast in a typical rape, you don't risk passing out behind a dumpster in 50 below.

[Palpatine Q]

I like how in every thread like this, the bouncer/getbigger always wins the fight. I'm sure that's how it ALWAYS goes 

I can tell a story like that. I didn't "win" or "lose" because it wasn't really a fight, but it sure wasn't pleasant.

I was working the door at a very busy spot, an afterhours spot that got bombarded with people trying to get in late night. so this one really hot chick, who was high as fuck on some really strong shit,keeps trying to just walk right by me and into the club, and i keep stopping her. like i said the place was nuts and she's really being a pain in the ass, so i get sick of it, pick her up and dump her on her ass outside of the ropes.

She goes fucking nuclear, absolutely feral....."NOBODY PUTS THEIR FUCKING HANDS ON MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"  and launches herself onto my arm and shoulder like a rabid cat. she's got long ass nails and high heels on, and she trying to scratch my throat and eyes , and dig her heels into me.

Now people see that I'm distracted and start bum rushing the door and it's total fucking mayhem, people are eveywhere and I've got this chick by the neck and she's dug into my arm for dear life. and me like an asshole..I'm still trying to mainain order with this maniac chick atacking me. I don't want to punch her in the face, she's a tiny little thing and I've got her in a position where she can't get to me, but she is scratching the shit out of my arm. this chick was INSANE with rage,

Thankfully two of the other guys were right there and i say " get this fucking bitch off my arm before i knock her out" and they pulled her off my arm. and it wasn't easy....I had two guys grabing at her wrists and she was putting up a hell of a fight.  I don't know what she was on but I have never seen anything like that, it was  freaky. she was like one of those monsters from ALIEN that suck onto your face

 My boy Kriss, who was a monster at 6'2" and 270 lean, picks her up over his head and power slams her onto the sidewalk, she broke her leg..her wrist, a bunch of ribs. that was a fucked up experience.

[Man of Steel]

Once I let in an underage chick who was using a Sears card as an ID, then I was plowing her good and proper in the back, telling her she was going to be my regular Saturday night thing.  Then the head bouncer ("the cooler") walked in and told me to take the train.  I protested that I was on my break, but he said, "Stay on it."  Then a polar bear fell on my friend.  The end.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

[WOOO]

I can tell a story like that. I didn't "win" or "lose" because it wasn't really a fight, but it sure wasn't pleasant.

I was working the door at a very busy spot, an afterhours spot that got bombarded with people trying to get in late night. so this one really hot chick, who was high as fuck on some really strong shit,keeps trying to just walk right by me and into the club, and i keep stopping her. like i said the place was nuts and she's really being a pain in the ass, so i get sick of it, pick her up and dump her on her ass outside of the ropes.

She goes fucking nuclear, absolutely feral....."NOBODY PUTS THEIR FUCKING HANDS ON MEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!"  and launches herself onto my arm and shoulder like a rabid cat. she's got long ass nails and high heels on, and she trying to scratch my throat and eyes , and dig her heels into me.

Now people see that I'm distracted and start bum rushing the door and it's total fucking mayhem, people are eveywhere and I've got this chick by the neck and she's dug into my arm for dear life. and me like an asshole..I'm still trying to mainain order with this maniac chick atacking me. I don't want to punch her in the face, she's a tiny little thing and I've got her in a position where she can't get to me, but she is scratching the shit out of my arm. this chick was INSANE with rage,

Thankfully two of the other guys were right there and i say " get this fucking bitch off my arm before i knock her out" and they pulled her off my arm. and it wasn't easy....I had two guys grabing at her wrists and she was putting up a hell of a fight.  I don't know what she was on but I have never seen anything like that, it was  freaky. she was like one of those monsters from ALIEN that suck onto your face

 My boy Kriss, who was a monster at 6'2" and 270 lean, picks her up over his head and power slams her onto the sidewalk, she broke her leg..her wrist, a bunch of ribs. that was a fucked up experience.

Funny story. Good read.

[Parker]

Once I let in an underage chick who was using a Sears card as an ID, then I was plowing her good and proper in the back, telling her she was going to be my regular Saturday night thing.  Then the head bouncer ("the cooler") walked in and told me to take the train.  I protested that I was on my break, but he said, "Stay on it."  Then a polar bear fell on my friend.  The end.

i just cut my finger on a can of tuna reading this... Hahaha.

[stuntmovie]

Sorry, but this is kinda related to the subject at hand but may be of some interest to you GetBiggers who appreciated  Keith (OnlyMe) who always made serious things somewhat humerous.

Keith was at a major grocery store here in LV when a very obnoxious guy and gal ran through the store threatening people and stealing some alcohol.

When they were running out the front door, Keith managed to tackle the guy and sort of sat on him until the possee arrived in the form of LV's Metro Police Squad.

During this five to ten  minute wait, the obnoxious, drugged up girl was screaming and pulling at Keith but Keith just sat there and laughed until the black and white showed up to relieve him of his sitting duties.

A few months later I was talking to the store manager and asked him what ever happened to those assholes and he informed me that those assholes sued the store and collected about $100,000 each.

The store paid because they did not want the bad publicity (or something like that.).

Keith received a word of thanks but those couple of assholes received much more and definitely proved that "Crime does pay!"

I'm almost sure that similar stories have occurred may times in nightclubs throughout the USA.

[JediTerminator]

I never worked in a bar and rarely ever went to them but one time I did I saw a bunch of scums drinking (this was some shit dive place I was watching UFC at) and one hag says to a guy at their table "no wonder your kid is a retard!". This guy smacked her so fucking hard you she lost some chiklets from her gums.

Guess after all was said and done the reason this scum bum flipped his shit is cuz he has a down syndrome daughter.

And one other time I walked right into a scummy pool hall as a big brawl was happening. Saw a guy get a cue whipped over his back. I turned around and walked back out the door.

Not my beef. Not my problem.

Bars are just breeding grounds for ridiculous violence.

[arce1988]

   @ Groink and stuntmovie

[EH]

'01 working the door checkin ID's and 6 black dudes come up DRUNk as fuck so i couldn't let them in (it was an 18+ techno club in Hillcrest in San Diego)... and they would't leave and since it was almost 2am and closing time we just let them hang out... they start talking about "the game" tomorrow.. i asked if they were going, they said 'nah we're playin... for oregon". lol ... 6 dudes playing in a Bowl Game in just a few hours drunk as fuck at 2am (and driving a rental van. lol). i dunno how they got home.

i think thye bowl game was Oregon vs. Oregon St.

[Henda]

There was a bar in town which had the most laughable group of doormen ever seen, basicly the manager employed a bunch of his friends instead of getting in real doormen and they were all out of shape slobs on a powertrip.
One of them a big fat baldy sack of shit who loved throwing his weight around i seen a skinny 130 pound man knock him clean out and he fell and broke his arm with his own weight.

[Jadeveon Clowney]

There was a bar in town which had the most laughable group of doormen ever seen, basicly the manager employed a bunch of his friends instead of getting in real doormen and they were all out of shape slobs on a powertrip.
One of them a big fat baldy sack of shit who loved throwing his weight around i seen a skinny 130 pound man knock him clean out and he fell and broke his arm with his own weight.

WAS THE BOUNCER ANABOLICHOLO?

[WOOO]

WAS THE BOUNCER ANABOLICHOLO?

Bluto couldn't bounce his boyfriend's ball sack off his face without teething it a bit and getting a bitch beat down.

[Jadeveon Clowney]

Bluto couldn't bounce his boyfriend's ball sack off his face without teething it a bit and getting a bitch beat down.

I GUESS YOU DIDN'T READ THE STORY THEN?

[jude2]

Wasn't Irwin also a lifter at Gold's back then? Ron Simmons, former FSU linebacker...he should have known better...

Yes Irvin Clark was a lifter at Golds. Ron was an ex FSU linebacker, he set the bench record back then, doubt it still stands. I see u have knole in your name, do u remember Irvin, he was quite a site. Some of my friends who worked out alot came to visit me for Spring break and they could not believe his size.

[GigantorX]

Just got done watching a documentary called bouncers, pretty funny, im sure many here worked as security in nightclubs (doormen, bouncers security or whatever your country calls it).

share some funny interesting stories

I have a few.

To sleepy to type, will try tomorrow.

[WOOO]

I GUESS YOU DIDN'T READ THE STORY THEN?

I GUESS YOU NEVER FOUND OUT HOW TO TURN CAPS OFF.