Author Topic: Any funny bouncer stories? (Read 10193 times)

muscularny · « **on:** February 25, 2013, 07:01:43 PM »

Just got done watching a documentary called bouncers, pretty funny, im sure many here worked as security in nightclubs (doormen, bouncers security or whatever your country calls it).

share some funny interesting stories

blinky · « **Reply #1 on:** February 25, 2013, 07:04:21 PM »

LOTS

but some might get me in trouble...or killed

Irongrip400 · « **Reply #2 on:** February 25, 2013, 07:05:06 PM »

In college I worked as a bouncer at one of the bars. Long story short, two dudes who we threw out kicked the back door trying to get in. One dude swung at me and I decked him in the face, and his buddy, while getting held by another bouncer until the cops got there(they broke the door) pooped his pants.

blinky · « **Reply #3 on:** February 25, 2013, 07:07:22 PM »

Quote from: Irongrip400 on February 25, 2013, 07:05:06 PM

In college I worked as a bouncer at one of the bars. Long story short, two dudes who we threw out kicked the back door trying to get in. One dude swung at me and I decked him in the face, and his buddy, while getting held by another bouncer until the cops got there(they broke the door) pooped his pants.

similar story...

girl was having her stagette. being a bitch so i was walking her out. got close to the front doors and she turned and tried to punch me in the face. i spun her around and took her to the ground.................. ........................ ......shit her pants

muscularny · « **Reply #4 on:** February 25, 2013, 07:10:23 PM »

Quote from: blinky on February 25, 2013, 07:07:22 PM

similar story...

girl was having her stagette. being a bitch so i was walking her out. got close to the front doors and she turned and tried to punch me in the face. i spun her around and took her to the ground.................. ........................ ......shit her pants

hahaha least she wasnt wearing a mini skirt with no underwear
,

WOOO · « **Reply #5 on:** February 25, 2013, 07:12:57 PM »

Quote from: muscularny on February 25, 2013, 07:01:43 PM

Just got done watching a documentary called bouncers, pretty funny, im sure many here worked as security in nightclubs (doormen, bouncers security or whatever your country calls it).

share some funny interesting stories

i once did a shot of my boss' piss when i was a doorman...

it was a biker bar and he was a striker... you kinda do what they say...

arce1988 · « **Reply #6 on:** February 25, 2013, 07:20:04 PM »

One such incident while working as a bouncer at age 16 in a bar, Hyde Park Corner, resulted in a fight where a kick to the face, fracturing his jaw, orbital socket, and detaching his retina, ended Singerman's time working at the bar for good.

Johna · « **Reply #7 on:** February 25, 2013, 08:44:26 PM »

Bounced in some tough bars the tougher the bar the bigger the gun in my car,most times it was my pump action shot gun.That was more the sort the shit out gun.Never ripped a shirt when I showed the gun.

Wiggs · « **Reply #8 on:** February 25, 2013, 08:54:35 PM »

Do people in bars and clubs not have control of their bowels? lol

mr.turbo · « **Reply #9 on:** February 25, 2013, 09:07:31 PM »

Quote from: WOOO on February 25, 2013, 07:12:57 PM

i once did a shot of my boss' piss when i was a doorman...

it was a biker bar and he was a striker... you kinda do what they say...

hey bro you're not supposed to drink another mans piss then tell people about it on the internet.

jude2 · « **Reply #10 on:** February 25, 2013, 09:11:37 PM »

I was at FSU in 1989 and was at this club called the MOON. They had some pro wrestlers in there acting like pure dicks, Sting threw his drink in some girls face, Lex Luger was there and the tag team the 2 black guys one was Ron Simmons. THey were talking a bunch of shit to everyone, even to one of the smaller bouncers, pushing people around. I knew all the bouncers there bc they trained at Golds. He asked me to go get Irvin. Irvin was the nose tackle for FAMU and was with the Navy elite prior to that. This dude was the real deal. He was 6'1 or 2 and weighed 300# very lean and fast. When he walked up, Sting said what is this steroid dude going to do. Irvin grap Sting and Lex each by the throat and slammed them agaisnt one of the bars hard. They were shitting on themselves the way he man handled them. Ron Simmons came up to him and asked Irvin to please let them leave in peace, bunch of pussies. 4 big Pro wreslters scared of this one big ass bounce-football player. The other bouncers just stood there amased. I was laughing my ass off.

arce1988 · « **Reply #11 on:** February 25, 2013, 09:12:34 PM »

muscularny · « **Reply #12 on:** February 25, 2013, 09:14:00 PM »

Quote from: jude2 on February 25, 2013, 09:11:37 PM

I was at FSU in 1989 and was at this club called the MOON. They had some pro wrestlers in there acting like pure dicks, Sting threw his drink in some girls face, Lex Luger was there and the tag team the 2 black guys one was Ron Simmons. THey were talking a bunch of shit to everyone, even to one of the smaller bouncers, pushing people around. I knew all the bouncers there bc they trained at Golds. He asked me to go get Irvin. Irvin was the nose tackle for FAMU and was with the Navy elite prior to that. This dude was the real deal. He was 6'1 or 2 and weighed 300# very lean and fast. When he walked up, Sting said what is this steroid dude going to do. Irvin grap Sting and Lex each by the throat and slammed them agaisnt one of the bars hard. They were shitting on themselves the way he man handled them. Ron Simmons came up to him and asked Irvin to please let them leave in peace, bunch of pussies. 4 big Pro wreslters scared of this one big ass bounce-football player. The other bouncers just stood there amased. I was laughing my ass off.

hahah I remember that night, was crazy!

phreak · « **Reply #13 on:** February 26, 2013, 05:01:06 AM »

Quote from: WOOO on February 25, 2013, 07:12:57 PM

i once did a shot of my boss' piss when i was a doorman...

it was a biker bar and he was a striker... you kinda do what they say...

Bowler? Forward soccer player? Refusing to work?

phreak · « **Reply #14 on:** February 26, 2013, 05:05:24 AM »

Once a group of 5 immigrants had to be removed from the club. Professional team work got them out the door without a fight. Someone (i.e. me) wasn't paying attention, and one of the fucks thought I had a screw loose -- and so he stabbed me in the back with a screwdriver. Hit a vertebra just above the bottom of my shoulder blade, so no real damage done.

Wait, that's not funny!

phreak · « **Reply #15 on:** February 26, 2013, 05:07:17 AM »

Funny and happened more than once: Girls coming up to me and colleagues, and swooning after touching our rock-hard abs. Not realizing that we were all wearing a vest...

As if a 300-Lb fat guy with a bloated pig face (old me) would have rock-hard abs!

WOOO · « **Reply #16 on:** February 26, 2013, 05:07:24 AM »

Quote from: mr.turbo on February 25, 2013, 09:07:31 PM

hey bro you're not supposed to drink another mans piss then tell people about it on the internet.

i must have missed that chapter in the online bible

Quote from: phreak on February 26, 2013, 05:01:06 AM

Bowler? Forward soccer player? Refusing to work?

enforcer... he's actually in prison for life today for murder and gangsterism... nice guy though... just a bit of a maniac

phreak · « **Reply #17 on:** February 26, 2013, 05:09:23 AM »

Quote from: WOOO on February 26, 2013, 05:07:24 AM

i must have missed that chapter in the online bible

enforcer... he's actually in prison for life today for murder and gangsterism... nice guy though... just a bit of a maniac

Thanks, I was wondering.

Still funny that Hells Angels claim to be about freedom -- and then have a very strict hierarchy and job descriptions for themselves.

WOOO · « **Reply #18 on:** February 26, 2013, 05:10:52 AM »

Quote from: phreak on February 26, 2013, 05:09:23 AM

Thanks, I was wondering.

Still funny that Hells Angels claim to be about freedom -- and then have a very strict hierarchy and job descriptions for themselves.

yeah, it was an interesting chapter in my life

never got very close to that lifestyle... close enough to figure out that it was not for me

outby43 · « **Reply #19 on:** February 26, 2013, 08:32:49 AM »

Had a buddy who was a bouncer and he said the owner was sick of the fights so the new strategy was to drug the drinks of the instigators because you can always tell who would be starting shit that night before it would happen. Within 1 or 2 hours they would be passed out. Problem solved. This only went on for about a month because a bartender was giving the drugs to women close to closing time.

AlphaMaleDawg · « **Reply #20 on:** February 26, 2013, 09:09:53 AM »

I like how in every thread like this, the bouncer/getbigger always wins the fight. I'm sure that's how it ALWAYS goes

Wiggs · « **Reply #21 on:** February 26, 2013, 09:17:56 AM »

Quote from: jude2 on February 25, 2013, 09:11:37 PM

I was at FSU in 1989 and was at this club called the MOON. They had some pro wrestlers in there acting like pure dicks, Sting threw his drink in some girls face, Lex Luger was there and the tag team the 2 black guys one was Ron Simmons. THey were talking a bunch of shit to everyone, even to one of the smaller bouncers, pushing people around. I knew all the bouncers there bc they trained at Golds. He asked me to go get Irvin. Irvin was the nose tackle for FAMU and was with the Navy elite prior to that. This dude was the real deal. He was 6'1 or 2 and weighed 300# very lean and fast. When he walked up, Sting said what is this steroid dude going to do. Irvin grap Sting and Lex each by the throat and slammed them agaisnt one of the bars hard. They were shitting on themselves the way he man handled them. Ron Simmons came up to him and asked Irvin to please let them leave in peace, bunch of pussies. 4 big Pro wreslters scared of this one big ass bounce-football player. The other bouncers just stood there amased. I was laughing my ass off.

Awesome

_bruce_ · « **Reply #22 on:** February 26, 2013, 09:29:25 AM »

Quote from: phreak on February 26, 2013, 05:07:17 AM

Funny and happened more than once: Girls coming up to me and colleagues, and swooning after touching our rock-hard abs. Not realizing that we were all wearing a vest... As if a 300-Lb fat guy with a bloated pig face (old me) would have rock-hard abs!

Kwon_2 · « **Reply #23 on:** February 26, 2013, 09:34:22 AM »

Quote from: AlphaMaleDawg on February 26, 2013, 09:09:53 AM

I like how in every thread like this, the bouncer/getbigger always wins the fight. I'm sure that's how it ALWAYS goes

Well, the thread is about "funny" bouncer-stories, so people are meant to tell the story they thought was funny, not the time when they got injured etc

For every good story, there are always 100 bad ones, but nobody is asking for those in the thread.

If the thread was called, "tell everything that happened to you when you were working as a bouncer, (describe each and every day)", then i'm sure there would be alot of boring stories, as well as a lot of stories where the Getbiggian Protagonist would be seen in a less bright light.

AlphaMaleDawg · « **Reply #24 on:** February 26, 2013, 09:50:52 AM »

Quote from: Kwon_2 on February 26, 2013, 09:34:22 AM

Well, the thread is about "funny" bouncer-stories, so people are meant to tell the story they thought was funny, not the time when they got injured etc

For every good story, there are always 100 bad ones, but nobody is asking for those in the thread.

If the thread was called, "tell everything that happened to you when you were working as a bouncer, (describe each and every day)", then i'm sure there would be alot of boring stories, as well as a lot of stories where the Getbiggian Protagonist would be seen in a less bright light.

Fuck you for making a valid argument and good points, rendering my post useless