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Getbig Main Boards => Gossip & Opinions => Topic started by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 04:37:42 PM

Title: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 04:37:42 PM
I keep this brief and light hearted. Looooooooonnnngggg story- short, I just don't feel much of a drive to workout like I used to. I know a contest date next spring would do the trick, but, I am all blah  :D
I am 47, did over 35 shows from '78-94. I always vowed I would hit the masters nationals and  my state when I got older, but lately all I have been hitting is the buffet .

Roast me, inform me or share some advice. Thanks   Howard, fartin' in the same chair in Ga :o
Sorry to recycle the hippo posedown, but it was all I had handy on my laptop.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: sarcasm on October 03, 2006, 04:38:44 PM
the arms and calves are looking big Howie.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: jwb on October 03, 2006, 04:43:27 PM
If you don't start training harder your wifey is gonna dump your fat ass!

Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Big Worm on October 03, 2006, 04:43:53 PM
I keep this brief and light hearted. Looooooooonnnngggg story- short, I just don't feel much of a drive to workout like I used to. I know a contest date next spring would do the trick, but, I am all blah  :D
I am 47, did over 35 shows from '78-94. I always vowed I would hit the masters nationals and  my state when I got older, but lately all I have been hitting is the buffet .

Roast me, inform me or share some advice. Thanks   Howard, fartin' in the same chair in Ga :o
Sorry to recycle the hippo posedown, but it was all I had handy on my laptop.
Bro. you look great...
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 04:44:41 PM
the arms and calves are looking big Howie.


yeah but so is my waist :o I am a belly in training  LOL.
I gotta commit to a diet  LOL, but fear that action may commit me to the loony bin.
I left the contest stage over a decade ago without any big impact on the bodybuilding world LOL.
I sometimes get a wild hair on the old azz and want to hit another show, then, I wake up and come to my senses, burp, fart and go eat some more.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 04:46:15 PM
Bro. you look great...
Thanks and I am bit bigger right now, but seriously I was NOT fishing for any comments on this silly hippo pic.
I was curious if any others ever delt with "dead spots" in training desire.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Most_Muscular on October 03, 2006, 04:47:30 PM
Well at least you've done the first step... you have a goal!  Use it.  Let next year's show be the carrot on the stick and every time you think about cheating on your diet or not training think about what your competition is doing.... are they cheating and not training?  Nope.  They are hitting and hard and staying on the straight and narrow.  If you don't do the same you'll never beat them.  Or....

Put a picture of past winners or guys that placed second last year (they'll be back) on your fridge as a reminder of what you have to beat.

nuff said...
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 04:53:19 PM
Well at least you've done the first step... you have a goal!  Use it.  Let next year's show be the carrot on the stick and every time you think about cheating on your diet or not training think about what your competition is doing.... are they cheating and not training?  Nope.  They are hitting and hard and staying on the straight and narrow.  If you don't do the same you'll never beat them.  Or....

Put a picture of past winners or guys that placed second last year (they'll be back) on your fridge as a reminder of what you have to beat.

nuff said...

Hmm, good idea , in fact great idea. I recently got an entry and info on the NPC N Kentucky for next March 24, 2007 ( am on a few bodybuilding/promoters mailing lists ,get stuff a lot).I think I will put it up on the fridge, competed there back about 18 years ago and was off, would love to hit THAT stage ripped and oull it off.THANKS, this may help.
Howard
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: sarcasm on October 03, 2006, 04:54:05 PM
Hmm, good idea , in fact great idea. I recently got an entry and info on the NPC N Kentucky for next March 24, 2007 ( am on a few bodybuilding/promoters mailing lists ,get stuff a lot).I think I will put it up on the fridge, competed there back about 18 years ago and was off, would love to hit THAT stage ripped and oull it off.THANKS, this may help.
Howard

a dude from my gym won that show in 04.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Miss Karen on October 03, 2006, 04:54:37 PM
Get your blood work done if all OK load as you have in the past just take a little more than last time and eat clean.Once you start to feel and look better think about your comp and then get more blood work done and if all OK ask yourself is it worth it and do I want to do this.If you answer yes and your health is good go for it.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: YoungBlood on October 03, 2006, 05:19:45 PM
I see that photo, attached to pretty much the same post, every year.
Just train, or don't train, Howie.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: DEFCON on October 03, 2006, 05:23:58 PM
You post the same thread every year...
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: BayGBM on October 03, 2006, 05:25:37 PM
Get your lazy ass to the gym!  >:(
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: SteelePegasus on October 03, 2006, 05:27:02 PM
Dude, forget traiing..enjoy the good life

whenever you feel like working out just look at your calves and say "still got it"

think of this period  as "off, off season"
now order that pizza with extra cheese and if you feel guilty order a 2 liter diet coke.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: SteelePegasus on October 03, 2006, 05:27:56 PM
here go, this should keep you distracted for a while ;)
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Luv2Hurt on October 03, 2006, 06:03:59 PM
Howie maybe your goals have changed?  Maybe the sport you once loved is not all you thought it was.

But that does not mean you cant get yourself in shape.  Will probally make you feel better, do it for yourself.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: knny187 on October 03, 2006, 06:26:17 PM
here's this old ass picture of Howie again.....


I guess when you can't think of anything new & long winded....


you recycle your old shit...over & over
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Special Ed on October 03, 2006, 06:27:41 PM
(http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=99446.0;attach=107379;image)
Dude,

Jerking off does not constitute training. It takes 30 seconds and burns 3 calories. Trust me, I've done the research.  Howie here is my plan for you:

FIVE-STEP PLAN FOR HOWIE TO GET HIS GROOVE BACK

1. Drink lots of water, take 6 colon cleanser pills each day, and tell your wife not to f-uck you until you've lost 50 lbs. Open new business account and begin siphoning money off to hide.
2. Get back those two inches your penis lost to the fatty folds of your man-pouch while improving your self-esteem. Keep putting money away into your "special" account.
3. Flirt with cute teen girl at local Blockbuster and imagine tearing that ass up. She won't hump an old fatso that's fer sure. Meet with an attorney and tell him you're considering divorcing your wife. Ask him to outline financial strategy for you.
4. As you lose weight, notice how banging the Blockbuster girl and the waitress at the local pizzeria who puts extra grilled chicken on your dry pasta becomes an actual possibility, given the correct timing. Tell your kids that mommy and daddy are going through a "difficult time".
5. Now that you're a lean, mean muscle machine, f-uck the shit out of every girl you can. When you get caught, blame wife for "depriving" you of your manly needs. Get that divorce and start a new life with the "secret" account. Now you have to stay lean because: (a) You have no one who is contractually obligated to f-uck your fat ass; (b) Chicks won't believe that lie about being 34 with that beer gut and the receding hairline; and (c) You don't want to keel over and die of a heart attack the first time you bang a 19-year old at your age.

Good luck Iron Brother!

Special "Dear Flabby" Ed
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Tigerman on October 03, 2006, 06:33:32 PM
Howie, try to compete in the next Mr. Getbig! Some harsh comments and uncalled bashing will boost your motivation!
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 07:27:15 PM
Howie - just hit some juice.

Don't worry about laws.  I'm sure it won't be hard for you to score enough for a cycle.  Obviously don't go posting about it on here under your real name - I definitely would, but that is because I am highly morally opposed to big brother telling me what to do.  I would sooner go to jail than have to hide the fact I am doing the illegal act of putting something in my body.  Rest assured, if I juice it will be written on here and on my website with pics of the juice and everything.  Like I said, I would sooner go to jail than let the government take away my freedom to choose.

But seriously, hit some juice.  I'm sure you have before.

I am going to assume you are mostly serious here. You are correct, the LEGAL issues are t me the main issue with taking steriods. I appreciate you honesty and condor however, that is pretty rare.
In my case ANY illeal drug use of any kind would not even be a consideration. The career setbacks and other headaches are just not worth it.
All the best, Howard
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Woten on October 03, 2006, 07:36:07 PM
I am going to assume you are mostly serious here. You are correct, the LEGAL issues are t me the main issue with taking steriods. I appreciate you honesty and condor however, that is pretty rare.
In my case ANY illeal drug use of any kind would not even be a consideration. The career setbacks and other headaches are just not worth it.
All the best, Howard

LOL, the pleasures of living in gulag USA (or whichever shithouse you reside)

Howie, baby, get on some juice, its the obvious choice

Look, you can do one of two things:

one, get on some gear

two, you can place higher priority on the seriously remote chance of being caught whilst using, rather than placing your concern on areas that deserve your attention, them being, the very real fact that your missus has probably started to view you as an ageing fat fuck that pisses her off due to the fact that she could be out getting some young cock rather than your old ass
 
Howie, drugs love you, remember that
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 07:37:37 PM
Howie maybe your goals have changed?  Maybe the sport you once loved is not all you thought it was.

But that does not mean you cant get yourself in shape.  Will probally make you feel better, do it for yourself.

My wife feels this may be the real truth. As some have already stated , I go back on forth on this and have for a few years now. I don't mind anyone ragging on me for this, it is true. The thing is NOW, I am point in my life where I have access to awesome gyms and the financial and emational security to do the sport my way with no compremise. I love the sport, but, for me now, the end all deal of getting a trophy or beating other guys on stage is VERY little motivation these days.
What I do actually miss is :
1. Feeling good that I have the disciplne to log my food daily and stay on a diet.
2. Stripping down back stage, ripped and ready, feeling like a real bodybuilder pumping iron.
3. The feeling you get when you first walk on stage with your class, turn and face the judges.
4. Putting on the protan crap, the last couple days as I dehydrate and see those last cuts and dteails come out.
5. Doing an ab shot and looking ripped. It is pretty cool to just lift up the ol gym short and give a quick side ab shot, if another musclehead asks me what kind of shape I am in.
6. Sounds corny, but being "on a mission" with a contest on the horizen is something that always gave my training a real kick in the butt.
 ;DOh man, whoever posted that butt shot of the hot darkhaired babe in jeans , THANKS!!!! Woah is she ever my type yee haaaa.

Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 07:44:22 PM
LOL, the pleasures of living in gulag USA (or whichever shithouse you reside)

Howie, baby, get on some juice, its the obvious choice

Look, you can do one of two things:

one, get on some gear

two, you can place higher priority on the seriously remote chance of being caught whilst using, rather than placing your concern on areas that deserve your attention, them being, the very real fact that your missus has probably started to view you as an ageing fat fuck that pisses her off due to the fact that she could be out getting some young cock rather than your old ass
 
Howie, drugs love you, remember that
Nice reply and trust me I have no problems with moderate personal useage of "the gear". It is just not my thing, I got my full blood work up a couple years ago and all my key levels were in the ideal. I just would NOT want to mess with that. Plus, I am a pureist, I don't think guys should do bench meets with those special bench shirts either.
I am no natural fanctic, I figure it is all a personal decision in the end ( outside of the legal issues).
I just felt that on a personal level I always wanted  to do things in a reasonable way and see what my body could do, etc. We all like hearing compliments or feeling the babes like how we look, for me that is only the tip of the motivation iceberg.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 07:47:31 PM
(http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=99446.0;attach=107379;image)
Dude,

Jerking off does not constitute training. It takes 30 seconds and burns 3 calories. Trust me, I've done the research.  Howie here is my plan for you:

FIVE-STEP PLAN FOR HOWIE TO GET HIS GROOVE BACK

1. Drink lots of water, take 6 colon cleanser pills each day, and tell your wife not to f-uck you until you've lost 50 lbs. Open new business account and begin siphoning money off to hide.
2. Get back those two inches your penis lost to the fatty folds of your man-pouch while improving your self-esteem. Keep putting money away into your "special" account.
3. Flirt with cute teen girl at local Blockbuster and imagine tearing that ass up. She won't hump an old fatso that's fer sure. Meet with an attorney and tell him you're considering divorcing your wife. Ask him to outline financial strategy for you.
4. As you lose weight, notice how banging the Blockbuster girl and the waitress at the local pizzeria who puts extra grilled chicken on your dry pasta becomes an actual possibility, given the correct timing. Tell your kids that mommy and daddy are going through a "difficult time".
5. Now that you're a lean, mean muscle machine, f-uck the shit out of every girl you can. When you get caught, blame wife for "depriving" you of your manly needs. Get that divorce and start a new life with the "secret" account. Now you have to stay lean because: (a) You have no one who is contractually obligated to f-uck your fat ass; (b) Chicks won't believe that lie about being 34 with that beer gut and the receding hairline; and (c) You don't want to keel over and die of a heart attack the first time you bang a 19-year old at your age.

Good luck Iron Brother!

Special "Dear Flabby" Ed

This post is the "other kind " i was expecting here at get big and it is priceless, I am still cracking up, you are really clever ED. I love the pic but felt the line about some other babe not contractually obligated will do me.
Funny man, , that lifted my spirits, thanks.  H
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 07:50:06 PM
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell me Woten isn't the best thing to ever happen to getbig!!

Check out Woten's advice to me regarding gear lol.


Yes, it appears he offers up some very "responsible" advice ::)
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Woten on October 03, 2006, 07:58:01 PM
Yes, it appears he offers up some very "responsible" advice ::)

Howie, FFS, you - with your golden years fast approaching - are in a ideal position to utilise steroids

I mean, does any of this ring a bell with you?:

  • not feeling able to rip the head of your workouts as you once did?
  • when you walk down the street and a hot slut walks by, you dont notice, preferring instead to think about your bank overdraft?
  • your cumload quantity has dwindled by shitloads?
  • you no longer want 'dirty sex' just cuddles?
  • you find yourself enjoying warm nights in watching romantic films and eating chocolates or ice cream?


FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!

Seriously, grab some test enanthate, grab some cheque drops and rediscover your youth

wax your wifes ass like it hasnt been waxed before, push her head in the pillows, drill her moist hole

Jesus, does this really need thinking about?

No, no it doenst!
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 07:58:32 PM
Doing gear isn't so bad.  He isn't advocating abuse or anything, just use.  I'm sure the wife would enjoy it and it would be fun.  Too bad the government gets in the way.
I actually do use a compound prescribed to me called androgel to keep my test levels in the ideal, no more no less and it costs only 20 bucks per month co-pay with my ins :D

I think that too may guys and gals pay way too much hard eraned cash on this sport.

By the way is the dark haired hotty in the jeans wearing some kind of "fall" or hair extensions.
Howard
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Max_Rep on October 03, 2006, 07:59:43 PM
(http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=99446.0;attach=107379;image)

That chick motivated the f*ck out of ME. Move over Rover... Max is home mamacita.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 08:00:46 PM
Howie, FFS, you - with your golden years fast approaching - are in a ideal position to utilise steroids

I mean, does any of this ring a bell with you?:

  • not feeling able to rip the head of your workouts as you once did?
  • when you walk down the street and a hot slut walks by, you dont notice, preferring instead to think about your bank overdraft?
  • your cumload quantity has dwindled by shitloads?
  • you no longer want 'dirty sex' just cuddles?
  • you find yourself enjoying warm nights in watching romantic films and eating chocolates or ice cream?


FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!

Seriously, grab some test enanthate, grab some cheque drops and rediscover your youth

wax your wifes ass like it hasnt been waxed before, push her head in the pillows, drill her moist hole

Jesus, does this really need thinking about?

No, no it doenst!
Great post LOL ;) For sex the present prescriptions I am on , androgel and cialllis do the trick nicely.
I have no reason to go on anything byond that, seriously.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Woten on October 03, 2006, 08:09:04 PM
Great post LOL ;) For sex the present prescriptions I am on , androgel and cialllis do the trick nicely.
I have no reason to go on anything byond that, seriously.

Have you ever used peruvian macca?

Seriously, two weeks in, and you will be taking your wifes head of with cum
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 08:12:12 PM
Have you ever used peruvian macca?

Seriously, two weeks in, and you will be taking your wifes head of with cum
"macca" Don't know what it is ? I know that sen George Allen R-Va got in big trouble for calling some kid a maccaca  LOL
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 08:14:27 PM
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED to meet Woten.  I'm hoping he shows up to the 2007 Arnold.

I thought of DaddyWaddy when I read these, lol.

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c24/improvedarchie/whitetie-wrycomment.jpg)

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c24/improvedarchie/devil-wrycomment.jpg)

And I knew Woten would like the vocabulary in this one lol.

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c24/improvedarchie/showerscene-be_my_chicago.jpg)
Those Archie comic babes were always hot  ;D
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 08:15:27 PM
That chick motivated the f*ck out of ME. Move over Rover... Max is home mamacita.
LOL me too, hey not that anyone cares, but is she wearing some fake hair in the pic?
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Woten on October 03, 2006, 08:15:53 PM
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED to meet Woten.  I'm hoping he shows up to the 2007 Arnold.

I thought of DaddyWaddy when I read these, lol.

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c24/improvedarchie/whitetie-wrycomment.jpg)

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c24/improvedarchie/devil-wrycomment.jpg)

And I knew Woten would like the vocabulary in this one lol.

(http://i24.photobucket.com/albums/c24/improvedarchie/showerscene-be_my_chicago.jpg)

LOL, they are fucking cracking, the look of the women is so dirty... like they are all cock hungry slags, nice find
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 03, 2006, 08:20:26 PM
I always wanted to plow that brunette Veronica up the ol poop deck , just to see the look on her face :o. I bet Jughead could have done her bent over the counter at the malt shop   :P

Ok the jury is back in and the get big verdict on  me is this: "Howie, you are now an over the hill old fart , have been for a few YEARS now.Be glad you don't have severe hemoroids or a swollen prostrate you geezer.Maybe  you can come back at 80 after all the real bodybuilders have died off from the juice and nobody is left to compete in the grand geezer division. Accept your fate, and be happy you wife is dumb enough to bang your sorry fat azz LOL".

speaking of which....good night :D

In the end I never take myself too serious. ;)
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Big Worm on October 03, 2006, 08:42:36 PM
here go, this should keep you distracted for a while ;)
Sweet Jesus !!  Who is this lovely Angel???? :o :o :o
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: TheAnimal on October 03, 2006, 10:43:28 PM
haha Woten is a class act love your work man!  ;D
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 04, 2006, 07:18:17 AM
haha Woten is a class act love your work man!  ;D
All in favor of saying Woten is "da man" say yeah!  The motion is passed.
Woten is now "da man"   GET BIG law #302-W passed this 4th day of OCT 2006.

Oh, not that it matters , but I am going to try that high intensity 3 day week DC training and see how I feel.
I think I was just overtarined an burned out. Ya know, like after the 3rd or 4th good nut of the night, even a hot babe wouldn't rise the ol titanic missle  ;D
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Option D on October 04, 2006, 07:24:27 AM
(http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=99446.0;attach=107379;image)
Dude,

Jerking off does not constitute training. It takes 30 seconds and burns 3 calories. Trust me, I've done the research.  Howie here is my plan for you:

FIVE-STEP PLAN FOR HOWIE TO GET HIS GROOVE BACK

1. Drink lots of water, take 6 colon cleanser pills each day, and tell your wife not to f-uck you until you've lost 50 lbs. Open new business account and begin siphoning money off to hide.
2. Get back those two inches your penis lost to the fatty folds of your man-pouch while improving your self-esteem. Keep putting money away into your "special" account.
3. Flirt with cute teen girl at local Blockbuster and imagine tearing that ass up. She won't hump an old fatso that's fer sure. Meet with an attorney and tell him you're considering divorcing your wife. Ask him to outline financial strategy for you.
4. As you lose weight, notice how banging the Blockbuster girl and the waitress at the local pizzeria who puts extra grilled chicken on your dry pasta becomes an actual possibility, given the correct timing. Tell your kids that mommy and daddy are going through a "difficult time".
5. Now that you're a lean, mean muscle machine, f-uck the shit out of every girl you can. When you get caught, blame wife for "depriving" you of your manly needs. Get that divorce and start a new life with the "secret" account. Now you have to stay lean because: (a) You have no one who is contractually obligated to f-uck your fat ass; (b) Chicks won't believe that lie about being 34 with that beer gut and the receding hairline; and (c) You don't want to keel over and die of a heart attack the first time you bang a 19-year old at your age.

Good luck Iron Brother!

Special "Dear Flabby" Ed
Hilarious.... ;D
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: jaejonna on October 04, 2006, 07:28:02 AM
hey howie,

Quit yer bitchin old man, dont even go to the gym...just roll over and die.


Hope this helps


Jaejonna
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: sarcasm on October 04, 2006, 07:29:38 AM
hey howie,

Quit yer bitchin old man, dont even go to the gym...just roll over and die.


Hope this helps


Jaejonna
shut your toilet, bitch, Howie shits harder than you train.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: Option D on October 04, 2006, 07:32:41 AM
Have you ever used peruvian macca?

Seriously, two weeks in, and you will be taking your wifes head of with cum
I heard of the macca. It was one of the favs when i worked at the nutrition store. That as well as the h.goat weed
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: jaejonna on October 04, 2006, 07:39:39 AM
shut your toilet, bitch, Howie shits harder than you train.
Your an imaginary person
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: nycbull on October 04, 2006, 09:34:25 AM
This sounds like a mayhem thread. Tell the guy the truth. Your pic next to the hippo looks like shiit. Looks like maybe you lifted weights a bit in your twenties or worked a blue collar job. Don't see any real muscle. Doesn't loook like you were once a bodybuilder. Just going by that pic at least.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: gatrainer on October 04, 2006, 09:46:18 AM
(http://www.getbig.com/boards/index.php?action=dlattach;topic=99446.0;attach=107379;image)
Dude,

Jerking off does not constitute training. It takes 30 seconds and burns 3 calories. Trust me, I've done the research.  Howie here is my plan for you:

FIVE-STEP PLAN FOR HOWIE TO GET HIS GROOVE BACK

1. Drink lots of water, take 6 colon cleanser pills each day, and tell your wife not to  -    you until you've lost 50 lbs. Open new business account and begin siphoning money off to hide.
2. Get back those two inches your penis lost to the fatty folds of your man-pouch while improving your self-esteem. Keep putting money away into your "special" account.
3. Flirt with cute teen girl at local Blockbuster and imagine tearing that ass up. She won't hump an old fatso that's fer sure. Meet with an attorney and tell him you're considering divorcing your wife. Ask him to outline financial strategy for you.
4. As you lose weight, notice how banging the Blockbuster girl and the waitress at the local pizzeria who puts extra grilled chicken on your dry pasta becomes an actual possibility, given the correct timing. Tell your kids that mommy and daddy are going through a "difficult time".
5. Now that you're a lean, mean muscle machine,  -    the shit out of every girl you can. When you get caught, blame wife for "depriving" you of your manly needs. Get that divorce and start a new life with the "secret" account. Now you have to stay lean because: (a) You have no one who is contractually obligated to  -    your fat ass; (b) Chicks won't believe that lie about being 34 with that beer gut and the receding hairline; and (c) You don't want to keel over and die of a heart attack the first time you bang a 19-year old at your age.

Good luck Iron Brother!

Special "Dear Flabby" Ed
best post I've seen in a while ED!!
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 04, 2006, 01:36:42 PM
This sounds like a mayhem thread. Tell the guy the truth. Your pic next to the hippo looks like shiit. Looks like maybe you lifted weights a bit in your twenties or worked a blue collar job. Don't see any real muscle. Doesn't loook like you were once a bodybuilder. Just going by that pic at least.

Damn  :-[ I even look bad beside the HIPPO. You need to start a career as a motivational speaker.Thanks a lot for that buddy, now I will just slink off and flush my head in the toilet :P
THat hippo pic is my signature pose. Now aht do I do....where do I go...I am lost ???
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: wood on October 04, 2006, 01:42:30 PM
Damn  :-[ I even look bad beside the HIPPO. You need to start a career as a motivational speaker.Thanks a lot for that buddy, now I will just slink off and flush my head in the toilet :P
THat hippo pic is my signature pose. Now aht do I do....where do I go...I am lost ???

channell it to the gym dude.
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 04, 2006, 01:44:38 PM
channell it to the gym dude.

My thoughts exactly :D AS I work legs today my mantra will be:
" I am NOT a hippo, I am NOT a hippo, I am NOT a hippo....."
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: wood on October 04, 2006, 01:45:40 PM
damn, i'll probably mess up my leg workout when i remember you saying that shit ;D
Title: Re: A get big old FART needs some gym motivation
Post by: HowieW on October 04, 2006, 01:52:47 PM
damn, i'll probably mess up my leg workout when i remember you saying that shit ;D

In the wise words of Paris Hilton ; " Deal with it!" ;D