Serious Question

[Laura Lee]

She is single, no kids.  We've had a heart to heart, her doctor (which is mine as well) pretty much laid it out for her.  I guess until she has a heart attack or pancreatitis she won't change.

Sad that she needs to go through something painful to understand what she's doing to herself.  I hope she is aware that she may not survive a heart attack to get a second chance at changing herself.

[Princess L]

Has she ever acknowledged the fact that she needs to lose weight?  Is she disciplined in other areas of her life? Has she always been overweight?

She is likely very fearful.  Doesn't know how or where to begin.  Fears failing, fears change, fears the unknown.

There are a lot of hospitals out there now offering various classes - not over eaters anonymous, but similar type group classes.  Weight Watchers is good for someone who's ready to change and needs a start.  They teach good, basic skills for the severely overweight.

The first step is acknowledgement.  She has got to WANT to change.  After that, it's just a matter of finding the right fit or combination of resources.  You and/or the gym are not the current answers.

[Migs]

Has she ever acknowledged the fact that she needs to lose weight?  Is she disciplined in other areas of her life? Has she always been overweight?

She is likely very fearful.  Doesn't know how or where to begin.  Fears failing, fears change, fears the unknown.

There are a lot of hospitals out there now offering various classes - not over eaters anonymous, but similar type group classes.  Weight Watchers is good for someone who's ready to change and needs a start.  They teach good, basic skills for the severely overweight.

The first step is acknowledgement.  She has got to WANT to change.  After that, it's just a matter of finding the right fit or combination of resources.  You and/or the gym are not the current answers.

She has acknowledged that she needs to lose weight.  As far as being disciplined in other areas, I would say no.  I never remember her being thin. She has tried many diets and doctor supervised regimes but she gets on a roll, then derails very easily.

[Laura Lee]

She has acknowledged that she needs to lose weight.  As far as being disciplined in other areas, I would say no.  I never remember her being thin. She has tried many diets and doctor supervised regimes but she gets on a roll, then derails very easily.

I hate to suggest this but it seems like it might be the only solution....gastric bypass (the band)?

[Migs]

I hate to suggest this but it seems like it might be the only solution....gastric bypass (the band)?

apparently she isn't healthy enough to do it.  She has diabetes that is not in control, high blood pressure, and is anemic.

[Laura Lee]

apparently she isn't healthy enough to do it.  She has diabetes that is not in control, high blood pressure, and is anemic.

Geesh!  If that isn't enough to scare her into becoming a more healthy person...I don't know what you could do.  We only have one life.  There is no "do over".  She cannot wait until it's too late. 

[Migs]

yeah it's pretty bad. 

[Princess L]

She is single, no kids.  We've had a heart to heart, her doctor (which is mine as well) pretty much laid it out for her.  I guess until she has a heart attack or pancreatitis she won't change.

She has acknowledged that she needs to lose weight.  As far as being disciplined in other areas, I would say no.  I never remember her being thin. She has tried many diets and doctor supervised regimes but she gets on a roll, then derails very easily.

apparently she isn't healthy enough to do it.  She has diabetes that is not in control, high blood pressure, and is anemic.

Are you SURE her Dr. REALLY laid it out for her?  Doctors are too often passive on the lifestyle changes and are quick to write a script.   Does she REALLY have a clue what can happen with those conditions?  I mean REALLY?  Limb loss (toes, feet, legs), blindness, stroke, heart disease/attack.  It's not a matter of IF, it's a matter of when.  What kind of anemia?  Surely that makes her tired.  Also, she's undoubtedly depressed, so that needs to get under control and then maybe she'll see more clearly.

[Migs]

yeah he laid it out.  He is my doctor as well.  He won't pull any punches.  He always says the bottom line.

[Butterbean]

yeah he laid it out.  He is my doctor as well.  He won't pull any punches.  He always says the bottom line.

Migs, do you have any theories as to why she overeats to the extent that she does?

[Migs]

lonliness, lack of self control, sadness, feeling of low self worth, abandonement.  I almost had her go to the gym with me the other day though. 

[Butterbean]

lonliness, lack of self control, sadness, feeling of low self worth, abandonement.  I almost had her go to the gym with me the other day though. 

Geo's post seems on point.

Have you ever suggested counseling to get to the bottom of it?  Perhaps you could convince her to go at least 4 times.  Maybe get her the sessions for Christmas?

Maybe if she would go then she could try some of Princess L's suggestions?

There are a lot of hospitals out there now offering various classes - not over eaters anonymous, but similar type group classes.  Weight Watchers is good for someone who's ready to change and needs a start.  They teach good, basic skills for the severely overweight.

The first step is acknowledgement.  She has got to WANT to change.  After that, it's just a matter of finding the right fit or combination of resources.  You and/or the gym are not the current answers.

[Migs]

she supposeldy was going to go to a counselor, but that, like the dodo, didn't last

[Butterbean]

she supposeldy was going to go to a counselor, but that, like the dodo, didn't last

How about asking her to go for a walk a few times a week? 

[Laura Lee]

How about getting mean and angry and telling her she is being very selfish.  And that you're pissed that she doesn't about her health and what it's doing to her and the family. 

Some people really don't realize that this is it...we only have one life to f**k up and if we do...we don't get re-takes or do-overs.  She HAS the power right now to change things and make herself healthier which will allow her more time here on earth to give and receive love from her family and friends.  I don't care how "godly" you are or how much you worship...if you abuse the body you are given...the time you have here is limited.

[Migs]

i think im going to have my friend build a pine box and drop it off to her house.