How Can You Help An Alcoholic?

[anabolichalo]

question (no need to answer...)

is this some dude you are trying to date?


are you a young (woman?)...


if so

forget about it and move on


hope this helps

[SamoanIrishman]

I am an alcoholic. Haven't had a drink in eight years. It is a horrible problem that takes over your entire life and everyone around you included. You can support and encourage but you can't fix. The person has to first admit it and then realize there is no other way out. I am here if you need to bounce anything off. Ken

QFT.

[anabolichalo]

lmao cholo

[SamoanIrishman]

lmao cholo

+1 hahahahaha  ...sorry to the thread starter, I know this is serious matter but that was a little funny

[Primemuscle]

I know I shouldn't do this but I'm strongly considering giving him an ultimatum....go to AA or we will have to continue on with our journey at a distance. Which greatly changes things.

If you don't want to be with an alcoholic, you should tell him this.

I suspect there is a genetic link for addiction. Addiction can also be a learned behavior. My mom had addiction issues, not just with alcohol, but also later with prescription downers. Both my adopted sisters had serious drug issues and one was an alcoholic. Since we don't know their biological parents, it is hard to say if there was a genetic component or if it was simply learned behavior. One of my sisters died a couple of years ago. Although her liver was toast, she died from oat cell lung cancer. My other sister has been in recovery for 20 years. She still has addictions but at least not to anything illegal at this point. She doesn't drink alcohol either.

I have never used drugs. I do occasionally drink too much. I monitor myself to be sure it isn't becoming a routine. I don't have an addictive personality. When I smoked cigarettes as a young person, it was simply a habit. I had no trouble quitting. It helps to be a control freak. I want to be the only thing or person controlling my life.

[BikiniSlut]

I appreciate all the replies gentlemen.

Nothing about our relationship is driving him to drink. It's not strained at all. We've never had any tension or an argument. Not even a disagreement.

I don't know what I will do from here on out. Time will tell.

I feel with my heart but act with my mind. So I'll be okay in the long run. I'll hurt in the short term....that's what I want to avoid but it's inevitable.

[anabolichalo]

if the relationship is in begining stage, consider aborting


if it is already too involved, go to church pray for the best

[BikiniSlut]

Again...positive it is not our relationship. This is not a long term relationship. We met in professional circumstances and it has gone beyond those circumstances.

The alcoholism was always there but I didn't see it/look for it/notice it during the professional interactions. We were both very focused. It was there though, and I know this because his family just recently contacted me spilling the beans about him and his past.

[Primemuscle]

Your certainty that your relationship is not a complicating factor is somewhat troublesome. Many women whose husband has been found to have been unfaithful, or have been somehow otherwise wronged, also displayed that attitude before the truth was known. Think back on your past relationships. Have you always been right about what your partner was thinking and feeling? One also has to question how you did not know you were entering a relationship with a raging alcoholic. Or did the alcoholism manifest itself during the relationship, which is true evidence of a cause and effect.

I fear that you are a troubled woman likely in need of serious psychological counseling but I wish you the best in any event.

Seems like you're stretching here and in the wrong direction. It isn't like she met him at an AA meeting. Lots of people who have addiction issues live comparatively normal lives.

You are right in that one can find examples of people who repeat negative relationships, such as a cheating partner or a partner with emotional issues, but it is cliché to think this is more often the case then not.

[galeniko]

Believe me....I know the question is very general.

I just basically want to get a discussion started and learn about people's experiences with alcoholism.....whether they have suffered or had loved ones suffer.

I also know I can only control myself.

But someone I deeply love is suffering from it and I want to help so badly, and if I can't I want to learn and know so I can try to empathize. I know I truly can't empathize but a little bit of know goes a long way with me.

by killing them.

this means, they gonna do that themsleves very well.

theres no help for any addicts, except their own true inner will to stop.

[galeniko]

Get the fuk away from them. Alcoholics and addicts write their own script and you are volunteering to be an actor in their play. They will only change when the pain becomes unbearable for them and it may or may not ever happen.
 Get on with your life.

yah, that or when they run out of funds.

ofc encouraging to further drinking is worse than saying you should stop mate.

but theyre about equaly pointless.