Tatted from head to toe - check
Flat billed hat pulled over the top of the ears or warn backwards at the eyebrows - check
Big faced watch that weighs 5lbs - check
Waxed eyebrows and side burns with a 1/4" strip of hair from bottom of lip - check
Pitbull named "Dbol" - check
Gucci wallet and travel bags - check
Make hardcore faces while flashing white guy gang signs (a la Dana Linn Bailey) - Check
Ware shirts and tank tops that are 3 sizes too small and baggy basketball shorts with $300 Nikes - Check
Born and raised in a gated community in a million dollar neighborhood - check
Date a pornstar..because you know those are always solid relationships - check
Make sure you never step foot in East LA or So. Central for fear of getting your ass shot, but that's ok because you're "hardcore".

Your best post ever, cut him some slack though at least he took the stickers off his hat
