You are not responsible for someone else's happiness. It is also not your obligation to entertain others, if you don't desire to. Anyway, how can you convincingly do this, if your heart isn't in it?
To state that you'll never marry or even live with another woman again is very telling about your present situation. You are in a bad place if you honestly feel this way. Never say never.
Everyone "comes up short" occasionally. We're human; humans aren't infallible. In a relationship, each party should be willing to give !00%. Remember willingness is not the same as accomplishment. Your gut feelings are what you believe is expected of you. Obligations alone cannot be a reason to stay in an unhappy relationship.
I feel extremely lucky to have enjoyed 52 years of marriage to a wonderful woman. We had rough times, just like most folks do. If I were able to live my life over, I'd want to do it with my late wife by my side and I'd try to be a better husband than I was. My son and daughter found wonderful life partners and are enjoying their long term marriages. -Son's been married for nearly 30 years and my daughter for 24. None of my friends or siblings stayed married to their original spouses. My sister is working on her 5th marriage.
I have been with my wife counting dating since January of 93. We were still teenagers. It's not easy to admit to feeling this way. I think when I say never to being with someone else it has more to do that I've been with someone for my entire adult life. I went from living with my parents to living with my wife (girlfriend at the time). Would like to be able to be a little more selfish/independent except for when it comes to my kids. We had talked through (or so I thought) many of our issues. Then she went kind of bipolar on me and very icy. I'd prefer it to work and not for just the kids but because I do still love her (always will). But, I think she is done. I truly believe that if she went to work today and received a $25K raise that she'd have a lawyer by lunch time. I think we have to sit down and talk again. I need to know if it's even worth trying to save. Thanks for listening Dr. Phil.
