Going back to LA, getting back on the Tren etc, then the stimulants for someone already so low on confidence and with shame and body issues and the emotional conflict of what he did to his child is not at all a good idea. I get that she trapped him by encouraging him to do her raw and also to juice his jizz inside her pussy etc. Yes, we all know that and I believe he is telling the truth there. But regardless of how conniving she was, the fact is he has an innocent child, so he needs to balance his stance on her not being able to trap and manipulate him, with what he has done to an innocent child (and which history he can never reverse) and which will continue to haunt him for ever.