Bringing children into the world has nothing to do with loving her, that has to do with family starting and more accurately, breeding. Any two fertile morons can have children, it does not take love (which is unfortunate for many a child). The proof that i love her is in the fact that i would not ask her to a lifetime comittment knowing that she wants children and i don't, that would not be fair to her. its like the old saying "true love is letting go..."
for youandme: we have talked about these things, and the only pro i can find is that it would ensure i would stay with her forever, which would be great for me... but not for the child/children. They can sense from a very early age when a situation is wrong, and thats emotionaly damaging. The cons include: less time for each other, less time to sleep, less money, living your life for someone else, sleepless nigts altogether, less time for personal stuff.
When i am not going to school or working i'm a musician (i know all the women who've dated musicians just groaned and rolled their eyes, i would agree with their reaction) and that requires a lot of time. Do i want to be a "rock star," yes. Is it likely? hell no. That is why i also do production and recording. I am not a druggy or an alcoholic or any of the other musician cliche's. I sing and write songs and that requires a good chunk of time, something i would never be willing to give up. People who give up have mid life crisis, which is another thing i would like to avoid. I know there are some snickering, but i think i am being pretty blunt about the requirements needed for children and the lifestyle i lead... it doesn't mix well.
For the time being we kinda agree that we're just pretending, and we know we'll end up getting hurt. We soothe ourselves on the notion that one of us might change our minds with age, but its doubtful.
She comes from a big family, the youngest of seven. They didn't have a lot growing up and family was important to them. They had one room for the girls (4) and one room for the boys (3). as one could guess, she is the only one who hasn't had a child yet.
Me, i am the youngest of two, i was a somewhat priviledged child, the son of a minor celebrity and was encouraged at a young age to be my own person, and thusly family was important, but certainly not the ultimate goal. We come from very different worlds, with very different goals. For her, i think family was the conveyed goal. For me, it was probably to be a success in some field.
Honestly, i wish i wanted kids, it would make things a helluva lot easier. But i don't. I've always hated kids and the way they dominate society even though they contribute nothing (anyone ever feel that if they see one more commercial with a baby in it that they're gonna break the TV?). Kids smell, they are dirty, they are a pain in the ass, to me at least. I am a selfish person and i'll admit it. I don't want to do anything else but what i want to do, and kids aren't in that plan. I like school, i like my work and i love music and my girlfriend and all i've ever really wanted is to have all that and a dog... and i do have all that, which is enough for me, but not for her... babies complete her circle for some odd reason. So yeah, i think its plain to see that its hopeless, but maybe y'all can add something or impart some advice for me/us. peace.
