Hehe, Pollen Nation...
Pollen Nation (Revised And Updated)
Athletes will commonly do whatever it takes to win, and that often includes breaking the rules of the game. For elite athletes, that often means "juicing", or using steroids to gain a competitive advantage.
Following in the dubious footsteps of the notorious scientist-turned-rat Victor Conte, pharmacist extraordinaire Vince Goodrum, CSN MFT has developed a revolutionary new chemical compound which is taking the professional sports world by storm: Bee Pollen.
Recovering in a hospital bed from hundreds of bee stings received when "Some no good kids threw rocks at the bees nest in my backyard", Vince noticed his body was starting to change. Little bumps everywhere. Added size. 'Muscularity'. While doctors and educated 'college folk' people informed him the swelling was a result of poison from the bee stingers, Vince knew better. He realized there must be something 'anabolic' about the bee stingers. So he got to work.
Shortly after skipping out on his hospital bill Phatburner style, "Venom Vince Versace" visited every McDonalds in his hometown of Asheville, NC. Melvin was looking for his 'honey'. A veteran of the fast-food game, Vince knew they had to provide several complimentary packets of honey or syrup for each order of hotcakes purchased. Displaying dedication not witnessed since a Tamali post-contest binge, Vince chomped down hotcakes every morning for 17 months, hoarding the honey packets in his pickup truck while suffering through the consumption of tens of thousands of hotcakes with only butter - no syrup or honey.
Vince sacrificed but it was worth it. By early 2006, the back of Vince's 82 Chevy contained four trash bags, chock full of McDonalds honey packets. A careful manufacturing process involved emptying the McDonalds packets into Ziploc baggies and adding salt to preserve their anabolic nature. He was ready.
Next, Vince hit every flea market on the East Coast, peddling this concoction. Along the way, he made friends and enemies. His product’s success resulting in a young Judi Barton going out of business, and her eventual suicide. Her customer base was destroyed faster than a Nichols athlete’s kidney, and her Jaguar Ponzi scheme evaporated.
But Vince made friends too. Arvilla welcome mat/runner-up Cheri Lane met Vince at an Atlanta swap meet and the two became lifelong sweethearts. They will even role-play on the Internet as sworn enemies before engaging in a little mano-y-mano action in the bedroom. What most would consider an internet feud, they consider foreplay.
Today, Vince Goodbum, aka Triple V, stands on the very edge of the future. His patented bee pollen is taking the sporting world by storm. It's the ‘Clear’ of 2006. Vince will be posting new pics, once they get back from One-Year-Photo, where he dropped off his film in early August, 2005. Until then, all we can do is wait. Make us proud Vince!!
