Author Topic: TOP TEN NOISES PLANET SHITNESS IS OKAY WITH (Read 3596 times)

Special Ed · « **on:** November 15, 2006, 06:30:39 PM »

TOP TEN NOISES PLANET FITNESS IS OKAY WITH

1. Queefing - vaginal fart sounds frequently heard from women and rather large percentage of men who train there.
2. Gagging - usually heard in the men's shower area, but also heard by men viewing Cow-Manager Carol Palazzolo in the nude.
3. Crying - frequently heard from easily intimidated members who are overcome with fear by grunting, deadlifting, and bandanas.
4. Belching - most frequently heard coming from Gym Cow-Manager Carol Palazzolo after eating daily box of 'Ring Dings'.
5. Coughing - usually associated with HIV and other infectious diseases known to strike the worthless and weak.
6. Groaning - when gym members walk through the doors and see the rowing machine is already being used.
7. Laughing - for members enjoying the political cartoons from Time magazine between sets of 5lb dumbbell curls.
8. Clutches of Death Gasp - from senior citizen members attempting to run over 3.5 mph on the treadmill.
9. Thudding - the vibration and shaking of the ground when the Cow-manager Carol Palazzolo performs "the rounds".
10. Vomiting - Mainly due to "I Will Survive" being piped through the speakers on an endless loop 24/7.

Special "Fisting" Ed

Army of One · « **Reply #1 on:** November 15, 2006, 06:36:54 PM »

11.Slapping - From the high fives after someone breaks the 150 pound barrier on the Machine Press
12.Stomping - Sounds of unhappy feet when all the dumbells are gone because the warriors on the treadmills are getting the Latest "6 weeks to Brutal Bis" while they do their cardio.

Hulkster · « **Reply #2 on:** November 15, 2006, 06:38:31 PM »

regular, traditional, loud farting should be an honorable mention.

ether · « **Reply #3 on:** November 15, 2006, 06:40:31 PM »

Coughing - usually associated with HIV and other infectious diseases known to strike the worthless and weak.

BRILLIANT!!!

Army of One · « **Reply #4 on:** November 15, 2006, 06:40:35 PM »

Quote from: Hulkster on November 15, 2006, 06:38:31 PM

regular, traditional, loud farting should be an honorable mention.

13.Farting - Due to slippage of anul bungs while performing a superset of Jumping Jacks and Bodyweight squats.

Army of One · « **Reply #5 on:** November 15, 2006, 06:43:05 PM »

14. Splattering - "Please remember to wipe the machines clean of Anal Seepage after you are finished with them for the consideration of our Minority Heterosexual members, thank you" Carol Palazzolo,Nov 14th, 2006

Special Ed · « **Reply #6 on:** November 15, 2006, 07:04:36 PM »

LOLOL!!! Great adds DB! Either I'm slipping or you're quickly gaining on me!

NICE!

SE

onlyme · « **Reply #7 on:** November 15, 2006, 07:07:01 PM »

The shuffling of money, that is all they care about

columbusdude82 · « **Reply #8 on:** November 15, 2006, 07:29:18 PM »

Quote from: db2431 on November 15, 2006, 06:43:05 PM

14. Splattering - "Please remember to wipe the machines clean of Anal Seepage after you are finished with them for the consideration of our Minority Heterosexual members, thank you" Carol Palazzolo,Nov 14th, 2006

I believe the proper term for "anal seepage" is now "santorum".

gordiano · « **Reply #9 on:** November 15, 2006, 07:33:27 PM »

Quote from: onlyme on November 15, 2006, 07:07:01 PM

The shuffling of money, that is all they care about

Yep, that's the one they prefer.......

Army of One · « **Reply #10 on:** November 15, 2006, 07:33:58 PM »

Quote from: columbusdude82 on November 15, 2006, 07:29:18 PM

I believe the proper term for "anal seepage" is now "santorum".

Your Boyfriend has his ear to the ground on the developments in the gay community!

Luv2Hurt · « **Reply #11 on:** November 15, 2006, 07:44:14 PM »

Cheers of happieness when the home team scores a point while members watch TV between sets.

Pazuzu · « **Reply #12 on:** November 16, 2006, 06:17:13 AM »

15. Hands rubbing together with glee - from a 'trainer'/sales associate who just got 450.00 down and had a 3-year, 29.95 a month contract signed by some poor sap that came in with a coupon for a free week and 9.95 a month - and failed to see the fine print that said "only for the first 3 people to sign up - and that was back in 1995."

freespirit · « **Reply #13 on:** November 16, 2006, 07:34:34 AM »

What the fuck is wrong with people, coughing in all kinds of irritating ways? Is it a sign of some weird kind of mental illness, because people, if you're not suffering from a soar throat or anything like that, believe me it is not normal or socially accepted to make those ridiculous coughing sounds on a regular base.

Luv2Hurt · « **Reply #14 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:03:42 PM »

Quote from: Pazuzu on November 16, 2006, 06:17:13 AM

15. Hands rubbing together with glee - from a 'trainer'/sales associate who just got 450.00 down and had a 3-year, 29.95 a month contract signed by some poor sap that came in with a coupon for a free week and 9.95 a month - and failed to see the fine print that said "only for the first 3 people to sign up - and that was back in 1995."

LOL

columbusdude82 · « **Reply #15 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:09:02 PM »

Quote from: Luv2Hurt on November 15, 2006, 07:44:14 PM

Cheers of happieness when the home team scores a point while members watch TV between sets.

I think you mean, cheering for the Golden Girls on Lifetime then doing a quick set during commercial breaks... Planet Shitness goers wouldn't watch sports because that would be "intimidating"

dawakaman · « **Reply #16 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:22:08 PM »

ROFL!! Special ED,i've said it before, but your one funny individual! Brilliant as always.
Still laughing...keep this hit up man. good stuff!

Peace
D

Blockhead · « **Reply #17 on:** November 16, 2006, 02:24:30 PM »

16). The sounds of pages being flipped of BetterHomes and Parent magazine while soccer moms peddle very slowly on the recumbant bike while they bratty little shithead for a kid is in the 'childcare' room.

slaveboy1980 · « **Reply #18 on:** November 16, 2006, 04:02:23 PM »

fat women are disgusting

akers1021 · « **Reply #19 on:** November 16, 2006, 04:09:07 PM »

Blenders at the smoothie bar......
Derek Anthony Prank phone calls....
Vince Goodrum Deadlifting ( not much weight would be needed)
Gay sex in the steamroom ( Derek Anthony involved only)
70s Disco music
Fat women falling off the treadmills ( seen this a few times)
Playing Twister in the Spin room

liberty · « **Reply #20 on:** November 16, 2006, 04:19:45 PM »