Hey Tasha, sorry I scared ya. I just dug into my puter's archives, and found the eMail my brother-in-law had blasted out to everyone. It describes what they went through when delivering. Hope it helps to calm you down a bit.
Looks like my memory was a bit fuzzy on some of the details, but here is my brother-in-laws advice
Welcome to the World Baby XxxxxxOur Birthing Story... the short version...Happy New Year to all our family, friends, neighbours, colleagues and associates.
Well… it's a done deal! On Carol's birthday, Friday, December 27th 2002, at 10:26 am, Carol and I were very blessed to have delivered a new, healthy, bright-eyed, 6lb 7oz baby girl. Her full name is Crystal Xxxxxxx-Xxxx Xxxx Xxxxxx. You may have seen Carol in the Toronto Star (Xxxxxxxx xxth issue, page Xx) about favourite holiday moments… this was it!
My amazing wife, Carol, delivered Crystal without any pain-relief medicine (she was offered some laughing gas and only used it for 2 contractions just prior to pushing, to help 'take the edge off' the contractions). She had an equally amazing coach, me; so the nurses say.
Carol woke me about 3am that morning, stating that she started feeling very intense contractions since 12-12:30am. She wanted me to time them now. I did; they were about 10 minutes apart. I "advised" Carol to relax, try to get some sleep; we have lots of time.
A few minutes later, she again asked me to time the contractions. With my eyes closed I turn to the clock and told Carol, they are the same as she asked me 10 minutes ago. I "advised" Carol that sitting on the rocking chair in the baby's room would help; we have lots of time. I was happy to get her out of the bedroom so that I could sleep; I mean so that she could get some relief from the pain by rocking on the rocking chair!
About 5am Carol woke me, again, stating that her contractions are now about 5 minutes apart. I asked if her water broke. She said no. I calmly convinced my darling wife that she did not want to go to the hospital now to spend 7 to 17 hours in labour; she would be much more comfortable at home. I "advised" her to relax, try to get some sleep; we have lots of time. I went back to sleep (I had an exhausting day earlier).
Of course, being as conscientious as she is, Carol contacted Xxxxxxx-Xxxxxxxxxxx Hospital, spoke to the on-call Gynaecologist, who medically advised Carol to 'GET TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!'
About 6:30am Carol woke me, again, stating that her contractions were now about 2-3 minutes apart & that the doctor said: 'GET TO THE HOSPITAL NOW!' I calmly asked if her water broke. She said no. I "advised" Carol to relax, try to get some sleep; we have lots of time. She didn't buy it this time. While her contractions were getting more intense, I "advised" Carol to go onto her hands & knees; that helped to relieve the pain a great deal (it looked like I knew my stuff). I calmly made Carol a quick breakfast about 7am… she ate between the contractions. I also had to maintain my strength, so I too had breakfast.
We finally strolled & wobbled into the hospital at 7:45am. Contractions were 1 to 2 minutes apart. The nurse (named Xxxx; profile: excellent, calm, supportive nurse) hooked Carol up to the fetal monitor (a required 20 mins of monitoring). She then asked Carol about the timing of the contractions and immediately checked the dilation. Carol was 8 centimetres dilated. No more fetal monitoring; no time for the formalities; 'GET TO THE BIRTHING ROOM NOW!
From about 8am to 9:25am, Carol got much relief from the intensity of the contraction by sitting and manoeuvring on the 'big ball' and controlled breathing. I highly recommend it. She also listened to some soft jazz, soft music; and she laughed a few times. I highly recommend it. During that time, as the good coach that I am, Carol held my hand; she squeezed my hand; she squeezed my hand very tightly; she always squeezed the same hand over and over again. I no longer had my hand. Then, her fingernails started to penetrate my skin on the hand that she always squeezed. As the good coach that I am, without screaming in pain nor flinching, I subtlety manoeuvred my hand so that Carol was now squeezing (extremely, extremely tightly) only my thumb and the area between my thumb and index finger. I highly recommend it It's amazing the strength she had in her grip. Major note to coaches: to avoid extreme pain, ensure the subject (your wife) cuts her nails off, not just manicure them… and don't just take her word, inspect them yourself.
After reaching 10 centimetres dilation; and a bit of intense pushing; no 'pain killers'; the doctor having to break Carol's water after full dilation; our blessed Crystal was born. Carol was absolutely amazing. It's a good thing that Carol listened to me (to some extent), staying at home until her water broke… yeah right. I dreamt that I was actually fully prepared to deliver our baby at home. My wife is amazing!
Both Carol and Crystal are doing just fine. As for me, my hand is almost back to normal. Since not all of our friends have email or access to the internet, please feel free to inform others if we haven't contacted them as yet.
To our friends and prenatal classmates who are due soon, remember, take everything the nurses and doctors tell you with a 'major grain of salt'. This is your baby; keep relying on your instincts and 'gut' feelings also, not just what you are told by the 'professionals'. And stay as long as you could in the hospital to get some rest. Everything you do for your new baby is rooted in you getting enough rest & staying relaxed!
Thanks for all your prayers and continued support. I know that you will welcome Crystal into your lives as you have welcomed Carol and I.
See you soon,
Xxxxxx
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Hope That Helps to alleviate some of your fears.