Aggressive Female....

[DIVISION]

I'm wanting some feedback on a strange situation...

In the gym, I'm a very non-social individual, preferring to do my workout and avoid contact with people.

Usually people pick up on non-verbal signals and this is no problem.

However, there is one woman who has gone out of her way to make it known that she has an interest in me.

Beyond the staring, it's the way she'll come up to me during a set and try to start a conversation or brush up against me for no apparent reason.  I've caught her staring at me as well, several times, usually twice every time we are in the gym at the same time.  I've tried giving her the brush-off and ignoring her totally, but she can't take a hint that I'm not interested. 

It's not only that I don't find her attractive physically, but her behaviour itself is just innapropriate given the setting.

After about two months of my ignoring her, she's now backing off from the outward behaviour (touching/interrupting), but she still stares.

I'm wondering.......

What did/does she want from me?

If it's just sex, wouldn't she get the idea that I'm not interested by now?

If it's just attention, wouldn't she understand that I'm not going to give it to her?

I'm wanting some explanation from a woman's perspective because I can't fathom what her issue is. 



DIV

[Laura Lee]

You're just asking for sandycoosworth to chime in, aren't ya?   

[Al-Gebra]

I'm wanting some feedback on a strange situation...

In the gym, I'm a very non-social individual, preferring to do my workout and avoid contact with people.

Usually people pick up on non-verbal signals and this is no problem.

However, there is one woman who has gone out of her way to make it known that she has an interest in me.

Beyond the staring, it's the way she'll come up to me during a set and try to start a conversation or brush up against me for no apparent reason.  I've caught her staring at me as well, several times, usually twice every time we are in the gym at the same time.  I've tried giving her the brush-off and ignoring her totally, but she can't take a hint that I'm not interested. 

It's not only that I don't find her attractive physically, but her behaviour itself is just innapropriate given the setting.

After about two months of my ignoring her, she's now backing off from the outward behaviour (touching/interrupting), but she still stares.

I'm wondering.......

What did/does she want from me?

If it's just sex, wouldn't she get the idea that I'm not interested by now?

If it's just attention, wouldn't she understand that I'm not going to give it to her?

I'm wanting some explanation from a woman's perspective because I can't fathom what her issue is. 



DIV

it's b/c you're so HUGE.  is she petite? She may not be able to resist the gravitational pull of your MASS.  once she's drawn in inexorably by the pull of your mass, she feels like she has to say something so that it's not too awkward.

hth

PS. this story has convinced sandycoos that a lot of women are attracted to you. she pmed me about it.

[AVBG]

I'm wanting some feedback on a strange situation...

In the gym, I'm a very non-social individual, preferring to do my workout and avoid contact with people.

Usually people pick up on non-verbal signals and this is no problem.

However, there is one woman who has gone out of her way to make it known that she has an interest in me.

Beyond the staring, it's the way she'll come up to me during a set and try to start a conversation or brush up against me for no apparent reason.  I've caught her staring at me as well, several times, usually twice every time we are in the gym at the same time.  I've tried giving her the brush-off and ignoring her totally, but she can't take a hint that I'm not interested. 

It's not only that I don't find her attractive physically, but her behaviour itself is just innapropriate given the setting.

After about two months of my ignoring her, she's now backing off from the outward behaviour (touching/interrupting), but she still stares.

I'm wondering.......

What did/does she want from me?

If it's just sex, wouldn't she get the idea that I'm not interested by now?

If it's just attention, wouldn't she understand that I'm not going to give it to her?

I'm wanting some explanation from a woman's perspective because I can't fathom what her issue is. 



DIV

Hey DIV,

My guess is that she'll get the hint soon enough. This particular woman might think you're playin hard to get and probably seeks you as a conquest.

[Al-Gebra]

Hey DIV,

My guess is that she'll get the hint soon enough. This particular woman might think you're playin hard to get and probably seeks you as a conquest.

Don't you think my theory is better?

[AVBG]

Don't you think my theory is better?

Yeah.. probably 

[Al-Gebra]

Yeah.. probably 

 

[Deadpool]

tell her you are gay.

[Al-Gebra]

tell her you are gay.

from his story, she sounds like the kind of chick who is only interested in getting a guy to switch teams.

[Jodi]

She may see you as a challenge, and find that in and of itself thrilling.  She may be someone who likes being rebuked, is titillated by it, and thus punishes herself over and over by going after someone who obviously isn't interested.  If she were simply and genuinely curious about you as a person or just mildly attracted to your appearance, the actual touching and conversation-starting would not have occurred at all, so I really think she is someone who enjoys trying desperately to get a guy interested in her, and the more he ignores her, the harder she tries.  She may not realize it, but her desperation will make her even more unattractive to a guy than her less than stellar appearance.

She may never stop staring, Division.  You're in a tough spot because if she is what I'm describing, then the ruder you are towards her and the more you ignore her, the more you feed into her.  Yet, if you actually converse with her, you send what she sees as an invitation to return to the accidental touching and the interrupting of your workouts.

What it will take is time and interest in another guy for her to stop this behavior towards you.

[DIVISION]

She may see you as a challenge, and find that in and of itself thrilling.  She may be someone who likes being rebuked, is titillated by it, and thus punishes herself over and over by going after someone who obviously isn't interested.  If she were simply and genuinely curious about you as a person or just mildly attracted to your appearance, the actual touching and conversation-starting would not have occurred at all, so I really think she is someone who enjoys trying desperately to get a guy interested in her, and the more he ignores her, the harder she tries.  She may not realize it, but her desperation will make her even more unattractive to a guy than her less than stellar appearance.

She may never stop staring, Division.  You're in a tough spot because if she is what I'm describing, then the ruder you are towards her and the more you ignore her, the more you feed into her.  Yet, if you actually converse with her, you send what she sees as an invitation to return to the accidental touching and the interrupting of your workouts.

What it will take is time and interest in another guy for her to stop this behavior towards you.

I don't like being the bad guy and I don't need the drama of confronting her because I can see her turning it around on me and trying to get me kicked out of the gym...

I don't care about the staring, it's just amazing to me that she does it.

What bothers me is that she has the audacity to think all of this is acceptable behaviour.

A part of me is about ready to break it down for her, the fact that I don't find her attractive and that I have no interest in her whatsoever, but my better judgment says that would only cause more trouble so I just ignore her.



DIV

[Dina]

i would go with the ignore tactic.

[24KT]

Sounds like a case of sexual harassment. 

[Playboy]

I'm wanting some feedback on a strange situation...

In the gym, I'm a very non-social individual, preferring to do my workout and avoid contact with people.

Usually people pick up on non-verbal signals and this is no problem.

However, there is one woman who has gone out of her way to make it known that she has an interest in me.

Beyond the staring, it's the way she'll come up to me during a set and try to start a conversation or brush up against me for no apparent reason.  I've caught her staring at me as well, several times, usually twice every time we are in the gym at the same time.  I've tried giving her the brush-off and ignoring her totally, but she can't take a hint that I'm not interested. 

It's not only that I don't find her attractive physically, but her behaviour itself is just innapropriate given the setting.

After about two months of my ignoring her, she's now backing off from the outward behaviour (touching/interrupting), but she still stares.

I'm wondering.......

What did/does she want from me?

If it's just sex, wouldn't she get the idea that I'm not interested by now?

If it's just attention, wouldn't she understand that I'm not going to give it to her?

I'm wanting some explanation from a woman's perspective because I can't fathom what her issue is. 



DIV

Hey Div,
it could be that she generally likes you. You did the right thing by just doing your thing and not conversing to much. Remember, when you converse openly you are opening the doors of more conversations further down the road. If she finally got the hint and backed off then better for you. Some people need to be told in order to take a hint. If the staring persits, I would do what worked for me years ago when I was in a similar situation. While you're at the gym and she is in there, have a friends sister/girlfriend/female friend that you know very well drop by the gym with a bottle of water for you. Give her a great big hug and make sure the other woman is around. It'll be cool because you know eachother and if this other woman sees this she'll definately back off. Believe me. It sounds like too much work but its much nicer then telling her to beat it.

PB

[Migs]

Just do her, lol.  then ignore her, and she'll think you're a jerk and that's it.  Unles she's one of those that likes to be treated like crap.

[Butterbean]

I don't like being the bad guy and I don't need the drama of confronting her because I can see her turning it around on me and trying to get me kicked out of the gym...

This part makes me wonder if you shouldn't tell the manager just as an FYI.  Not to get her kicked out, or even talked to, but just to cover your a** in case she should do something weird.  And I don't think that you should confront her. 

[Laura Lee]

If ya don't want her staring at you anymore, I say...

Pick your nose when she's looking and hold out your finger and say...want some?

She'll stop staring. 

[Butterbean]

If ya don't want her staring at you anymore, I say...

Pick your nose when she's looking and hold out your finger and say...want some?

She'll stop staring. 

lol  Or he could eat it while looking straight into her eyes

[Laura Lee]

lol  Or he could eat it while looking straight into her eyes

I was going to say that, but I didn't wanna be too gross. 

[Butterbean]

I was going to say that, but I didn't wanna be too gross. 

Glad I could help



Once at my gym 3 of us girls were sitting outside of the aerobics/posing room waiting to get in there.  Another guy was posing and his friend was giving him pointers.  Evidently, the guy facing us couldn't see us because of the glare on the windows.  We could see him perfectly.  First, he dug around in his nose a bit as we all laughed.  But then he took it out, examined it, and ate it!  We were screaming we were laughing so hard as he munched away.

[Laura Lee]

Glad I could help



Once at my gym 3 of us girls were sitting outside of the aerobics/posing room waiting to get in there.  Another guy was posing and his friend was giving him pointers.  Evidently, the guy facing us couldn't see us because of the glare on the windows.  We could see him perfectly.  First, he dug around in his nose a bit as we all laughed.  But then he took it out, examined it, and ate it!  We were screaming we were laughing so hard as he munched away.

Ok, I totally just dry heaved on that one Stella.  Thanks for sharing that.  <barf, barf>

[Deedee]

I  have seen the nose expedition culminating in taste-testing several times while stopped next to someone at a red light.  Very disturbing.

As far as the girl issue Div, this kind of thing happens to women all the time.  It really isn't such a big deal. Just do the schnottz thing or something equally as vile, and it's true, she'll never trouble you again.

[Laura Lee]

I just can't believe someone (other than a small child) would actually consume such a thing.  OMG, the thought alone <barf>


Another gross thing he could do that I have seen done is a guy at the gym plunging his hand down his pants to "adjust" himself.  That's not the gross thing...the gross thing is when he pulls his hand out and then smells it.  WTF is that!!!  OMG  nasty. 

[Migs]

I just can't believe someone (other than a small child) would actually consume such a thing.  OMG, the thought alone <barf>


Another gross thing he could do that I have seen done is a guy at the gym plunging his hand down his pants to "adjust" himself.  That's not the gross thing...the gross thing is when he pulls his hand out and then smells it.  WTF is that!!!  OMG  nasty. 

ROFLMAO

[Playboy]

Glad I could help



Once at my gym 3 of us girls were sitting outside of the aerobics/posing room waiting to get in there.  Another guy was posing and his friend was giving him pointers.  Evidently, the guy facing us couldn't see us because of the glare on the windows.  We could see him perfectly.  First, he dug around in his nose a bit as we all laughed.  But then he took it out, examined it, and ate it!  We were screaming we were laughing so hard as he munched away.

Did he really do that
You see girls, thats how men get a bad name.

PB