Honesty apparently not always the best policy?

[deviant]

I had sex with a girl i have been friends with for years a few months ago, we had a bit of a thing going on for a few weeks and then it reverted back to normal and friends again.

I am a brutally honest guy, its what my friends like about me...i simply dont keep secrets from my social group...previous girlfriends have respected my honesty and enjoy talking to me about stuff they perhaps dont talk to other blokes about.

So....when a few friends noticed how i am around this girl and asked me if we'd ever slept together i said yes.
She found out and got in a strop about it. This lasted a few days but we got talking again, i explained that i am an open book and if someone asks i will tell.

Last weekend her brother asks me...i say yes again.

The bastard then tittle tattles to her parents who give her a bollocking about it and now she is definately ignoring me, things are pretty bad.

I thought you girls liked openness and honesty? 

How long is this tantrum going to last for?

[DIVISION]

I had sex with a girl i have been friends with for years a few months ago, we had a bit of a thing going on for a few weeks and then it reverted back to normal and friends again.

I am a brutally honest guy, its what my friends like about me...i simply dont keep secrets from my social group...previous girlfriends have respected my honesty and enjoy talking to me about stuff they perhaps dont talk to other blokes about.

So....when a few friends noticed how i am around this girl and asked me if we'd ever slept together i said yes.
She found out and got in a strop about it. This lasted a few days but we got talking again, i explained that i am an open book and if someone asks i will tell.

Last weekend her brother asks me...i say yes again.

The bastard then tittle tattles to her parents who give her a bollocking about it and now she is definately ignoring me, things are pretty bad.

I thought you girls liked openness and honesty? 

How long is this tantrum going to last for?

You haven't learned this lesson yet, mate?

Women do say they want honesty, and in their minds they think they do, until it comes down to actually facing the consequences of said honesty.

In other words, they want selective honesty.

If it's about anything sexual you'd done with them or their faults, they'd rather you not reveal that, even if it is true.

Her ending the sexual relationship is a way to let you know that she doesn't appreciate your being openly soddish about the whole affair.

Provided she's not a windowlicker, I think it would be best you kept your mouth shut about your sexlife and perhaps you will again receive the bumsex you had been accustomed to prior.

I wish you the best of luck.




DIV

[Playboy]

I had sex with a girl i have been friends with for years a few months ago, we had a bit of a thing going on for a few weeks and then it reverted back to normal and friends again.

I am a brutally honest guy, its what my friends like about me...i simply dont keep secrets from my social group...previous girlfriends have respected my honesty and enjoy talking to me about stuff they perhaps dont talk to other blokes about.

So....when a few friends noticed how i am around this girl and asked me if we'd ever slept together i said yes.
She found out and got in a strop about it. This lasted a few days but we got talking again, i explained that i am an open book and if someone asks i will tell.

Last weekend her brother asks me...i say yes again.

The bastard then tittle tattles to her parents who give her a bollocking about it and now she is definately ignoring me, things are pretty bad.

I thought you girls liked openness and honesty? 

How long is this tantrum going to last for?

Silence is golden. Sometimes its best to know when to stay quiet. Especially around sexual topics.

PB

[youandme]

Dayum dude dont kiss and tell. 

She sees you as a snitch now, it's ova.

[msbarbelle]

honesty IS the best policy. always. you don't have to remember what stories you made up that way...lol...
if i ask a guy a question, i'm looking for (and ready to hear) the truth. even if it's not pretty. i can't speak for all the girlies, that's just how i call it out.
this girlie is being nuts. if you've been hittin it for awhile, it's no secret. don't think she hasn't told her friends - she has! you telling yours is ok too. 

[Deedee]

Maybe you were just a fling during a slow period and not someone she would normally be with. Perhaps she was ashamed and didn't want anyone else to know.

[MiniMiggy]

Maybe you were just a fling during a slow period and not someone she would normally be with. Perhaps she was ashamed and didn't want anyone else to know.

That's not a very nice thing to say.  But the guy who started this thread doesn't sound like a very nice guy either.  Sometimes people just use honesty as an excuse to be inconsiderate.

[Butterbean]

I think "honesty is the best policy" means between you and her....face to face.

When people asked if you had sex w/her, you could have just said, "Why do you ask?" or "Let's talk about something else."  You're not lying there.

What if someone were to ask her about your anatomy and you are "smaller than Fred?"  Would you really want her to say, "well, he's smaller than Fred?"

[MiniMiggy]

What if someone were to ask her about your anatomy and you are "smaller than Fred?"  Would you really want her to say, "well, he's smaller than Fred?"

She would probably answer honestly, and rely on her friend's good sense/consideration for the smaller guy's feelings.

[Deedee]

That's not a very nice thing to say.  But the guy who started this thread doesn't sound like a very nice guy either.  Sometimes people just use honesty as an excuse to be inconsiderate.

I apologize... but I was just being honest.  Sometimes people have flings or an inappropriate relationship that they would prefer to forget about once it's over, and would rather keep it a secret. But I do completely agree with you about your last point.  Sometimes people just use honesty as carte blanche to be inconsiderate.

[Monster_Everything]

its one thing to be honest, but honesty doesnt mean disclosing everything under the sun. if you must be honest, tell people that its none of thier business...thats honestly the answer right ?

[GET_BIGGER]

Theres a difference between honesty and discretion.  She trusts you with intimacy, and felt betrayed when your so open about something so intimate.  I would have discussed it with her before you start telling everyone so you make sure she is comfortable with what your saying.  Now shes going to have trust issues with you, it may never be the same. 

I was dishonest with someone and regret it often because......it costed a friendship that I valued dearly (referring to trust issues).

[Princess L]

  GB is much closer to what this is really about.  This has NOTHING to do with honesty and everything to do with respect.  You totally disrespected her by  not keeping a private matter private.  As far as telling her brother       that was really low.  GB is right; it may never be the same.  IMO, it won't.

[DIVISION]

What if someone were to ask her about your anatomy and you are "smaller than Fred?"  Would you really want her to say, "well, he's smaller than Fred?"

Penis size is only an issue for insecure men, truly.

A man who can't get past comparing the size of penis with others will  never truly embrace his sexuality.

.....and yes, I've heard this from women as well.

Theres a difference between honesty and discretion.  She trusts you with intimacy, and felt betrayed when your so open about something so intimate.  I would have discussed it with her before you start telling everyone so you make sure she is comfortable with what your saying.  Now shes going to have trust issues with you, it may never be the same. 

I was dishonest with someone and regret it often because......it costed a friendship that I valued dearly (referring to trust issues).

Exactly.

It's common sense that you don't disclose your sex life with others, esp her immediate family.  The last thing she wants them to picture is you pounding her anally whenever she is talking to them.  Women hate those type of betrayals.

In the future, when people ask who you're pounding......don't answer.

Let them use their imagination.



DIV

[ToxicAvenger]

I thought you girls liked openness and honesty? 

lmao...good one!


honestly will keep your pride intact and your cock lonely...i know


now you decide whats more important to ya...

[diamond]

There's being honest, then there's just being plain stupid lol.

I mean, telling her brother what you did...I don't see what you expected to happen? lol

And we do like openess and honesty, but sometimes a little discretion and respect on personal matters is needed 

[ToxicAvenger]

There's being honest, then there's just being plain stupid lol.

I mean, telling her brother what you did...I don't see what you expected to happen? lol

And we do like openess and honesty, but sometimes a little discretion and respect on personal matters is needed 

ya mean i shouldn't her told her that a one niter ws all i wanted ..and instead played her ass and left the truth be revealed after the deed...

yeah i'm bitter

[DIVISION]

ya mean i shouldn't her told her that a one niter ws all i wanted ..and instead played her ass and left the truth be revealed after the deed...

yeah i'm bitter

Junaid,

I think you should be honest in your intentions, and if you aren't interested in a woman other than sexually, you should relay that to her. 

Fortunately for me, I don't do flings so that situation never comes up.  If I want a woman, she'll be relationship material and sex will come along with that, later.

Control your sex drive, Junaids, don't let it control you.

Women only have the upperhand if you let them.....


DIV

[ToxicAvenger]

Junaid,

I think you should be honest in your intentions, and if you aren't interested in a woman other than sexually, you should relay that to her. 

Fortunately for me, I don't do flings so that situation never comes up.  If I want a woman, she'll be relationship material and sex will come along with that, later.

Control your sex drive, Junaids, don't let it control you.

Women only have the upperhand if you let them.....


DIV

right now all i can afford timewise are flings...i got my cisco  proctors cert..recently...working on my ccie...i might be doing some travelling doing seminars and teaching around the country in the near future...its all up in the air..basically at this point whoes willing to pay more..i like doing this stuff regardless of where and how..so the lowest denominator becomes money..i mean during my recent proctor cert exam i had a dood there taking the lab that is right now making 210ish /yr teaching and doing contract work....why not me mate!..having said that...dont have time for anything but flings mate..unless someone surfaces and hits one clear out of the ballpark...

[Al-Gebra]

Penis size is only an issue for insecure men, truly.

A man who can't get past comparing the size of penis with others will  never truly embrace his sexuality.

.....and yes, I've heard this from women as well.

ROFLMAO . . . I hope everyone is appreciating the DIV's presence here. Where else can you get such treats?


AL-G

[DIVISION]

ROFLMAO . . . I hope everyone is appreciating the DIV's presence here. Where else can you get such treats?


AL-G

It's the truth.

If you find it that funny, you're either the lesser endowed or one of the guys I'm talking about who is always wondering how he stacks up against his girlfriend's former lovers.

Either way, you're selling yourself short.



DIV

[Al-Gebra]

why don't you leave the girls board and come join us on the general board? we're continuing the discussion there.

[DIVISION]

why don't you leave the girls board and come join us on the general board? we're continuing the discussion there.

.....because I don't waste time with gimmick accounts?   




DIV

[24KT]

I had sex with a girl i have been friends with for years a few months ago, we had a bit of a thing going on for a few weeks and then it reverted back to normal and friends again.

I am a brutally honest guy, its what my friends like about me...i simply dont keep secrets from my social group...previous girlfriends have respected my honesty and enjoy talking to me about stuff they perhaps dont talk to other blokes about.

So....when a few friends noticed how i am around this girl and asked me if we'd ever slept together i said yes.
She found out and got in a strop about it. This lasted a few days but we got talking again, i explained that i am an open book and if someone asks i will tell.

Last weekend her brother asks me...i say yes again.

The bastard then tittle tattles to her parents who give her a bollocking about it and now she is definately ignoring me, things are pretty bad.

I thought you girls liked openness and honesty? 

How long is this tantrum going to last for?

Probably forever, ...but it's not a tantrum, ...it's a decision to toss your butt out with the trash.

You completely betrayed your intimacy. You disrespected her & betrayed her trust, not once, ...but twice,
...and to her brother? what on earth were you thinking? You're never gonna be on an intimate basis with her again.

And as for honesty, ...your "honesty" or more accurately "thoughtless lack of discretion" is probably gonna prevent you from being intimate with other women as well. Word will spread like wildfire about your big mouth and complete lack of discretion. I suggest you ask your friends what brand of lotion works the best, 'cause your sex life is over. You might as well move to another town. You won't be getting any anytime soon, ...at least I hope not. 

[xxxLinda]

Well put jag and Al-G.


I've never been able to tell a lie.  I've learned that the only way I can remember what's going on is if I tell the truth.


But I tell little white lies to my Mum once in a while, to protect her.  She asks too many questions...