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Author Topic: How many of you women  (Read 6068 times)
Deedee
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« Reply #25 on: December 03, 2006, 01:12:54 PM »

To be fair, I think Cap was saying he would be willing to pay for extra help so his wife could have her own time.  Zero lip is an unfortunate choice of words, but I can see where doing your best to provide for your family and being taken for granted in return could be annoying, galling, etc...
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xxxLinda
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« Reply #26 on: December 03, 2006, 01:17:58 PM »

would be willing to pay for extra help


I just booked a Brazilian girl to come clean my kitchen and bedroom and bathroom after the fire.  It's all still black toxic soot.


she's coming for 3 hours.  She's £7 an hour and I can't do it anymore.

I did the whole livingroom by myself, up a ladder. Oh I lie, I had help.






x
Her name is Nyodia
I told her I'd give her £30 and explained how nasty this job is.
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xxxLinda
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« Reply #27 on: December 03, 2006, 01:36:18 PM »

happy camper


x
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az
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« Reply #28 on: December 03, 2006, 02:13:18 PM »

Feel sorry for stay-at-home moms who complain about the difficulty of their lives?  I know many woman who have husbands who work a lot of hours plus overtime and get bitched out by their wives about how hard their days are.  I'm not saying these women don't do anything but is it fair to the man to get this type of treatment?  I don't think it would be fair if the roles were reversed.  Please give me some honest opinions.  BTW, Everybody Loves Raymond inspired this discussion but I have seen real examples of this stuff.

Is it fair to the man? My father told me that fair was a place where pigs get ribbons. As a single mom I applaud women that are stay at home moms. It is the toughest job that requires the most responsibilty and gets the least amount of respect. If you screw up at a "job" you may get written up or worse case fired. If you screw up raising your kids your kids are screwed, you have the responsibility of developing someone's life. She can bitch all she wants to. Kids eventually grow up to appreciate their moms; watch any football game and the guy who gets his first TD is saying hey to mom, not dad.
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« Reply #29 on: December 03, 2006, 02:37:39 PM »

Feel sorry for stay-at-home moms who complain about the difficulty of their lives?  I know many woman who have husbands who work a lot of hours plus overtime and get bitched out by their wives about how hard their days are.  I'm not saying these women don't do anything but is it fair to the man to get this type of treatment?  I don't think it would be fair if the roles were reversed.  Please give me some honest opinions.  BTW, Everybody Loves Raymond inspired this discussion but I have seen real examples of this stuff.

So if a COUPLE is sahring responsibility of a family and one works, I'm sorry the one who provides MONEY does not deserve to be yelled at because of dirty diapers and other things.  Like I said, if I pay for child day care then what's the excuse then?

I'd think that raising children has got to be the most difficult, stressful job in the world. 

It seems to me if the breadwinner's only contribution to the household is financial, this would build resentment on the part of the spouse that stays home.

I have dogs. Undecided
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« Reply #30 on: December 03, 2006, 02:39:44 PM »

Let me turn this around a bit.

Have you ever come home and bitched about your job?  Maybe someone at work angered you, or a project didn't go the way you planned, or you're dealing with a stressful deadline?  Have you ever needed to discuss those issues, whether in a polite and even tone or in a raised voice that works through the emotions?

That's what she is doing when she complains about dirty diapers.

By the way, when it's middle of the night and the child cries because she has a dirty diaper, who gets up to change the child?  Do you...or does your wife?  How about when dishes are in the sink from dinner?  Who cleans them?  You or your wife?  If it's your wife, then realize her job is 24-hours a day.  She can gripe all she wants just like you can about your job.  You're supposed to be there for each other, to help each other through stresses, problems, issues.  You're supposed to share them...along with the good moments.  This isn't a pick and choose what one person can complain about or brag about and what the other cannot.
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Jodi
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« Reply #31 on: December 03, 2006, 02:41:29 PM »

Ozgrrl is ahead of time.  She's in Australia...

Actually, in the good ol' USA right now   Wink  so still behind   Cheesy Shocked
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xxxLinda
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« Reply #32 on: December 03, 2006, 02:43:10 PM »

pigs get ribbons.


my dad told me pigs can fly.



And he said "jam tomorrow", he came from working class and fought in the war.

oh and something else funny
xL

i think women's work is a job well done, no matter what.
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az
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« Reply #33 on: December 03, 2006, 03:29:40 PM »

I don't have a wife.  I don't complain though.  I usually just drink or watch tv.  Can you honestlty commiserat with a woman who with woman like "Debra" who doesn't do anything?  I'm sorry I can't.  Most of the people I know are police officers or fire fighters and if I was in their position I would honestly get back into my car and go back to work if I heard so much complacency when I got home.  Bill Engvall touches on this in a skit.

I kinda figured you didn't have a wife but that's ok. But speaking as a corrections officer and also having many friends on the police force and fire fighter buddies, most of us leave work at work, you kinda have to. I also know stay at home moms and they really don't bitch all that much about the day. They may comment that they are tired or discuss what the kids are up to but you speak as if as soon as the husband walks through the door he gets his head bitten off. I like the show everybody loves raymond also but didn't catch the episode. But remember it is television, in other words exagerated entertainment. It makes me wonder if the head writer for that particular script was male or female though. I really don't think most married men mind that their wives let off a little steam when they get in, it is usually the man who wants the woman to stay home with the kids anyway. He knows he will have to hear about her day just as she will have to hear about his. The cool thing about a loving relationship is that you WANT to hear about it.
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« Reply #34 on: December 03, 2006, 03:43:17 PM »

Feel sorry for stay-at-home moms who complain about the difficulty of their lives?  I know many woman who have husbands who work a lot of hours plus overtime and get bitched out by their wives about how hard their days are.  I'm not saying these women don't do anything but is it fair to the man to get this type of treatment?  I don't think it would be fair if the roles were reversed.  Please give me some honest opinions.  BTW, Everybody Loves Raymond inspired this discussion but I have seen real examples of this stuff.

I was a stay-at-home mom for a few years and my husband used to work anywhere from 12-16 hours a day. Sometimes he would have to work 7 days a week. As a woman; you get lonely and you need someone to have an adult conversation with. Not to mention if you have been home all day; cleaning, running errands, laundry, cooking and helping with homework. When your spouse does come home; it's not fair for them to just create a mess and expect for you to clean up behind them. I understood that my husband was tired all I asked was that he understand that I was tired too. It all boils down to communication and respecting one another's responsibilities. But, to answer your question; IMO it is not fair.
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« Reply #35 on: December 03, 2006, 03:49:09 PM »

I never said make a mess but would you be upset if he wanted to eat in silence or watch a show before any interaction?

I may have misunderstood the statement (Sorry) Huh
We have been married now for over 11 years and have 4 children; in the beginning I did not fully comprehend the need for silence. Now I do, I work full-time now and sometimes I need the same thing.
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« Reply #36 on: December 03, 2006, 03:58:00 PM »

I love silence and girls I date (including current) don't so it's hard.

It takes time to find the right person; to be able to communicate to them that when you come home from a long days work, you need at least 30 mins to unwind. You have to let this be known up front.
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« Reply #37 on: December 03, 2006, 04:05:13 PM »

I always have, nobody has ever listened... Huh

I am sorry to hear that Sad

Mimi6
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« Reply #38 on: December 03, 2006, 04:16:19 PM »

Cap, it depends on what your type is; where are you meeting these hearing impaired females?
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Mimi6
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« Reply #39 on: December 03, 2006, 04:25:03 PM »

Haha.  Everywhere.  They just don't like to listen all that much when I say I need to cool down or be alone.  Simple stuff but it never works out like I want so I throw in a dip and space out.   Grin.  High school was worse (obviously) but it hasn't gotten much better even though women mature faster than us men.  Shocked

If you don't mind me asking; how old are you? What age groups are you dealing with?
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« Reply #40 on: December 03, 2006, 04:49:44 PM »

I'm not saying one way or the other here, if I was married and my wife stayed home (never happen though b/c of divorces) I would pay for child care just so she wouldn't complain.  If my salary and effort goes for a wife's nice things and everything in the house, I would want zero lip unless I was actually being unreasonable.

WTF? What are you her parent? her boss? Lose the attitude or marry a masochist.
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« Reply #41 on: December 03, 2006, 04:55:14 PM »

If I come from end of watch or after over time and have to hear about dirty diapers, etc, etc I would turn around and go back to work.  I agree about mothers and teachers needing respect but if I bring home all the money, I really don't want to hear complacency.  My example was based on Everyone Loves Raymond.  A wife like Deborah is stupid.  She can't cook, can't cleand and has the kids and always yells at Ray.  I know women who do that shit and frankly it annoys me.  If I were in his situation I would not be a happy camper.  I am not saying all women should "know they're role" by any means.

That's exactly what you're saying. If she's complaining and bitchin', it's because she's unfulfilled. Hiring help isn't going to make it any better, ...probably worse, 'cause now she's unfulfilled, AND has time on her hands. Your not wanting to hear about her frustrations just shows you're unwilling to be there for her, or even participate in the trials & tribulations of raising your own kids. I'd predict a divorce and major resentment, ...unless you married a masochist
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« Reply #42 on: December 03, 2006, 04:57:33 PM »

So if a COUPLE is sahring responsibility of a family and one works, I'm sorry the one who provides MONEY does not deserve to be yelled at because of dirty diapers and other things.  Like I said, if I pay for child day care then what's the excuse then?

A guy like you could never enter a 50/50 partnership because you think just because you provide the money, you get to make the rules. You don't.
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« Reply #43 on: December 03, 2006, 04:59:40 PM »

I'd think that raising children has got to be the most difficult, stressful job in the world. 

It seems to me if the breadwinner's only contribution to the household is financial, this would build resentment on the part of the spouse that stays home.


Yep! especially if he doles it out only at his discretion, or uses it as leverage to dictate the terms of the household or as a form of control (which most men do).
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« Reply #44 on: December 03, 2006, 05:08:00 PM »

Financial contribution seems to be underappreciated these days.

Financial contribution is overrated. Any problem that can be solved with money, ...isn't a problem

Quote
  That stress is tough I realize, but there are other stressors in life and I resent when women get mad that a man doesn't spend the same amount of time with the hourly responsibilities at home.  That's the trade off when someone brings home the money.  Just how I feel. Wink

And how you feel will screw up any marriage you may enter into, ...as well as mess with your mind should your wife ever develop financial success without you. Touting your value & worth as a husband based on your financial contribution is BS. You're setting yourself up to be knocked down a few pegs... 'cause once she starts bringing in more than you, your self esteem is out the window...and you end up like Ryann Phillipé and the tons of other guys like him around the world. Their sense of manhood is wrapped up in their wallets, and when the wife's outward success dwarfs theirs, ...there goes the marriage. They start marking their territory like dogs.
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« Reply #45 on: December 03, 2006, 05:09:54 PM »

cap I'm getting bored...
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« Reply #46 on: December 03, 2006, 05:23:07 PM »

No complaining is controlling? 

No complaining is an attempt to regain some degree of equilibrium.

 The rule applies to me too.  Don't put words in my mouth ma'am.[/quote]

You called me ma'am. I like that.  Cheesy

Quote
A guy like me?  You don't know me.  Money is a big deal and women who marry men who work still control everything so the least that can happen is a little repsect and peace and quiet at times, just like a woman should expect to receive.  Like I said, women see their work as more important than the financial responsibility of a man and that is also a problem.

It's only a problem if you fail to recognize this as fact.

Quote
So should all men stay home?  There are only so many hours in a week...should a guy work his ass off and then spend every waking moment after pampering wife and kid? No.  Any sane MAN or WOMAN would get burnt out.  There needs to be nurturing and time away for mom but be reasonable.

Hence the complaining. 'cause that's exactly what stay-at-home Moms do, only they don't stop at 40 hrs[/quote]

Quote
And yes, money=control and women do the same shit men do in that regard.

Just because women sometimes make the same mistakes men do or participate in the 'money=control' dysfunction paradigmn, doesn't make it right.

Not in America.  My feelings are that I need to provide and if she makes more then so be it, will that give a reason to bitch about spending more time with the kids?

No, not spending more time with the kids is a reason to bitch about spending more time with the kids.

Gee Whiz, where is Old School in this thread, ...he can set you straight on a few things
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« Reply #47 on: December 03, 2006, 05:39:20 PM »

Zero lip?  What the heck is this?  The early 1900's when a woman should stay at home barefoot, pregnant, and silent unless she is on her back?  Whatever.   Roll Eyes

Jodi,

He's talking about his relationship, not yours.

Your opinion of how he treats his girlfriend doesn't really equate.

The ones who take care of our future are paid the least.  Mothers and teachers.

I see we have our priorities straight in this world.

I agree with this.

I don't have a wife.  I don't complain though.  I usually just drink or watch tv.  Can you honestlty commiserat with a woman who with woman like "Debra" who doesn't do anything?  I'm sorry I can't.  Most of the people I know are police officers or fire fighters and if I was in their position I would honestly get back into my car and go back to work if I heard so much complacency when I got home.  Bill Engvall touches on this in a skit.

It's all predicated on what type of woman you want and what you will allow.  You would probably not even date someone like "Debra", so why is it even a factor in the conversation?  Before marriage even comes in to play, you'd know what you're dealing with in terms of the relationship dynamic.  None of it would be a shock.

Debra was Debra before she became a stay at home mom.

Lol.  It's an expression.  I stand by it though just like I would give zero lip about household matters if she did the brunt of the work.

Don't let these women bully you, cappie.

You live by your own set of rules.

Don't ever let society or others dictate how you live.



DIV
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« Reply #48 on: December 03, 2006, 05:46:00 PM »

It's all predicated on what type of woman you want and what you will allow.  You would probably not even date someone like "Debra", so why is it even a factor in the conversation?  Before marriage even comes in to play, you'd know what you're dealing with in terms of the relationship dynamic.  None of it would be a shock.

Debra was Debra before she became a stay at home mom.

Don't let these women bully you, cappie.

You live by your own set of rules.

Don't ever let society or others dictate how you live.



DIV
[/quote] Thanks DIV.  I'm all about egalitarian but I hate hearing that people want more praise than is deserved.  Like I said in a previous post, a man should value his wife's work (whatever it is) and she should value his just as equally.  I see more Debra's out there these days though so it is tough to get around.  Good posts from everyone on here IMO.  I didn't want everyone to agree, just to talk.
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Deedee
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« Reply #49 on: December 03, 2006, 05:58:31 PM »


He's talking about his relationship, not yours.
DIV

Lol, Not to be negative, but damn... everything you post is all about you. And you, and you. There are other people around you in the world. No wonder you have probs in the relationship area.
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