http://www.pauldavidson.net/2006/10/22/adult-diapers-for-the-rest-of-usHave you ever just “let it go?”
You’re laying in bed and too lazy to get up or sitting in a long meeting at work and can’t really leave the room or in the middle of a movie and not wanting to miss any part whatsoever or hiking up a mountain when the urge hits you? And when all of these things happen you have to bide your time, hope for the best, and eventually find your way to a bathroom facility of some kind? I know what you’re thinking: it’s a complete and total waste of time…
…and wouldn’t be an issue if wearing adult diapers all the time was acceptable.
Society has conditioned us to think that having zero control whatsoever over your bowels is a bad thing. And sure, it means you aren’t the master of your nether-region from a liquidy-standpoint. That’s bad. I can agree with that. But what I can also agree with is this: once you do have complete control over that area of how your body works — you should be able to do whatever you want, whenever you want, and not be judged.
The only reason wetting your bed as an adult or missing out on that rest stop with “tragic results” is considered to be a horrible thing is because, again, society tells you it is. But what if society made it okay for all of us to go around wearing adult diapers just like it’s okay to go around wearing a watch or socks? What if you could lay in bed and never have to get up? What if you could sit through that long meeting without a care in the world, smiling away as the warmth spread across your body and face? What if you could never again miss a scene from a movie or hike without worry since you’d have an adult diaper ready to go at any given time?
I suspect you’d be happier than ever before.
Adult diapers don’t have to be made out of hospital-grade white plastic. They could be made by Hilfiger and LaCoste. They could be made of soft fibers that don’t chafe. They could be sold at Nordstrom and Bloomingdale’s and be printed in the kinds of patterns and colors that would go with the most elaborate of outfits from wedding gowns to togas. They could, finally, for once in our lives make living and existing even easier since we’d never have to interrupt life with trivial concerns like having to get up and go to the bathroom.
As society advances exponentially, we have gotten rid of a lot of the complications of the past. Once hunter/gatherers who scoured the countryside for animals to kill (for meat), we now simply “gather the phone” and call for food. Once bipedal creatures who walked to locations, now we simply walk five feet to an automobile and propel ourselves to any desired location. So don’t you think it’s time to take the most primal of all instincts and simplify it even more thanks to a myriad of technological fabrics?
Sure, someone is thinking — “but when we were cavepeople we just went to the bathroom in bushes and weren’t civilized at all, and then we advanced and started learning how to use sewer systems and what not — isn’t that getting rid of the complications?” Alas, technology doesn’t always get rid of complications but provide us with new ones instead. And thus is the case of the structured bathroom experience — it has ripped society apart at the seams, confusing and confounding young humans and complicating their lives to the point of ridiculousness.
That is why there should be adult diapers for the rest of us.
Wear them all the time, wherever you want, whenever you go out in public. Don’t be afraid of people’s opinions, since everyone will be wearing them. Forget about “holding things in” from this day forward and feel free for once in your life. Make the elderly finally feel embraced instead of ridiculed and remove the teasing from the adolescent equation that affects so many children in a negative way. Give every person in this world the opportunity to live, learn, grow and urinate anywhere and anytime without societal pressure to “hold themselves in.”
Adult diapers for everyone. It’s an idea whose time has come.
